Ketubot, Daf Daled, Part 3
Introduction
Yesterday’s section included a baraita that taught that if the bride or groom are mourning
right after their wedding, they must sleep in separate rooms. Today’s section deals with this
clause.
‫ דאמר רבי‬,‫ מסייע ליה לרבי יוחנן‬.‫ הוא ישן בין האנשים והיא ישנה בין הנשים‬:‫אמר מר‬
.‫ אבל דברים של צינעא נוהג‬,‫ אף על פי שאמרו אין אבילות במועד‬:‫יוחנן‬
The master said [above]: He sleeps among the men and she sleeps among the
women.
This supports R. Yohanan, for R. Yohanan said: Although they said [that] there
is no mourning on a festival, he keeps [mourning] in private.
The baraita taught that the couple had to sleep in separate rooms during the seven days of the
wedding feast (when one of the parents died right before the wedding). These seven days are
like a personal festival for the couple—both a festival and the wedding celebration last seven
days. So they are in a sense keeping a festival and mourning at the same time. The fact that
they don’t sleep together is support for R. Yohanan who said that even though mourning may
not be observed during any festival, one still observes private forms of mourning. For
instance, if one’s relative died during the festival he cannot begin mourning till after the
festival. Nevertheless, he does observe some mourning practices, such as the prohibition on
having sex.
‫ אשתו‬- ‫ אבל בעל‬,‫ ל"ש אלא שלא בעל‬:‫דרש רב יוסף בריה דרבא משמיה דרבא‬
.‫ישנה עמו‬
R. Joseph the son of Rava expounded in the name of Rava: They taught this
only if he had not yet had intercourse with her but if he had [already]
intercourse, his wife may sleep with him.
Rava says that the baraita’s rule that they sleep in separate rooms is only if they did not yet
have intercourse. In such a case we cannot trust them not to have sex, because this will be
there first time and we can assume they are excited. If they sleep in the same room, they
might have sex. But if they’ve already had sex at least one time, their passion should have
been calmed a bit, and they can sleep in the same room. Note, the prohibition of sex remains.
!‫ הוא ישן בין האנשים והיא ישנה בין הנשים‬:‫ וקתני‬,‫והא הכא דבבעל עסקינן‬
.‫ אפירסה אשתו נדה‬- ‫כי קאמר‬
But here we are dealing with a case where he had intercourse, and it still it
teaches [that] he sleeps among the men and she sleeps among the women?
When did he say [this]? With regard to his wife becoming a menstruant.
The Talmud asks the obvious difficulty on Rava. How can he limit sleeping in separate rooms
to a case where they have not yet had intercourse? The baraita stated that they first have
intercourse and then they still have to sleep in separate rooms despite the fact that it is the
first week of marriage.
The Talmud now adjusts what Rava was referring to. He was not referring to a case of
mourning during the first week of marriage. Rather, he was referring to a case where the
woman became a menstruant. If they have already had sex, then they may sleep in the same
room (not the same bed). But if she became a menstruant after they were married but before
they had sex for the first time, then they must sleep apart.
!‫הא וכן קתני‬
‫ הוא ישן בין האנשים ואשתו ישנה‬,‫ וכן מי שפירסה אשתו נדה ולא בעל‬:‫הכי קאמר‬
.‫בין הנשים‬
But it teaches: And so [also if his wife became a menstruant].
This is what he means to say: And so [also], if his wife became a menstruant
and he had not yet had intercourse [with her] he sleeps among the men and
she sleeps among the women.
The problem with the above resolution is that it sounds like the same exact rule applies to
mourning as to a case where she is a menstruant—if they had sex once, they may sleep in the
same room. But this is not true, for in the case of mourning even though they had sex once,
they must still sleep in separate rooms in the case where they are mourners during the first
week of their marriage. This was stated explicitly by the baraita.
The Talmud resolves this by adding the words “and he had not yet had intercourse with her”
to the baraita. When mourning during the first week of marriage, they must sleep in separate
rooms, but if she is a menstruant during the first week of marriage, they sleep in separate
rooms only if they have not yet had sex.