Lillenas®
Drama Presents
Outfield Rusty
From What’s Growing Under Your Bed?
By Martha Bolton
A Comedy Monologue
in Defense of Right Fielders
Character:
RUSTY
Setting:
Baseball field
Props:
Baseball glove
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Costume:
Baseball uniform
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(Sketch opens with RUSTY unenthusiastically taking his place center stage.)
Right field again! Why do I always get stuck out in right field? . . .
This has got to be the dumbest, most boring, least important position
in all of baseball. Why, the only action I get to see is that gopher over
there (pointing to side) and even he’s yawning.
Why don’t I ever get to play one of the good positions like first base,
or shortstop, or even pitcher? (Brief pause) Ummmph! I’m a better pitcher
than Willie Mitchell. I mean, at least I can hit the backstop. Willie’s such
a wild pitcher, everyone in the bleachers wears a catcher’s mask!
So, tell me, then—why is HE pitching, and I’m stuck out here in
right field? Deep right field. They’ve got me so far out here, if I wanted
to yell, “Hey, batter, batter!” I’d have to send a telegram.
This is such a waste of my talent. Frankly, I might as well be sitting
in the dugout. At least I could be doing my homework there. (Thinks
for a moment) For that matter, I could be doing it here, but it’s hard to
write with a glove on.
So, now, here it is—bottom of the final inning. Our team’s winning
by only one run. The bases are loaded. There are two outs, and their
best hitter is up to bat. (Shakes his head) Well, you can kiss this game
“Outfield Rusty” is taken from What’s Growing Under Your Bed?. Copyright © 1986 by Lillenas® Publishing Company. All rights reserved. Printed in the
United States of America.
good-bye. In fact, I might as well start walking in now. There’s nothing
for me to do out here.
(RUSTY takes off his glove and starts to walk off, then suddenly looks up)
Hey! Wait a minute! . . . Isn’t that a ball coming this way? (Excited)
It is! It’s a real, authentic, all-American baseball, and it’s headed right
for me. . . . Now’s my chance to (all of a sudden he realizes he doesn’t have
his glove on) . . . get my glove on! (He quickly puts it on, then looks up and
moves two steps to the right; then two steps to the left; then two steps back
again. Finally he pretends to catch it.) I caught it! I don’t believe it! I
caught the winning ball! (Starts jumping up and down in excitement) We
won! We REALLY won!
And who said right field wasn’t an important position? Right
fielders are important!
(Looks to side) You see, Gopher, it’s like I’ve been saying all along—
you need the WHOLE team to win a game! (Runs offstage yelling) “Twofour-six-eight; / Who do we appreciate?” (Fades out.)
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Web Site: www.lillenasdrama.com
The sketch collection What’s Growing Under Your Bed? (MP-634) is available for purchase from Lillenas® Drama or from your local Christian bookstore.
For a full description of the rest of this collection, or to purchase other individual sketches, refer to
www.lillenasdrama.com
“Outfield Rusty” is taken from What’s Growing Under Your Bed?. Copyright © 1986 by Lillenas® Publishing Company. All rights reserved. Printed in the
United States of America.