Mediation &
Domestic Violence
Kristine Paranica, Executive Director, Conflict
Resolution Center, University of North Dakota
Certified Transformative Mediator™
Fellow of the Institute for the Study of
Conflict Transformation
The Mediation Process
Mediation is:

UNIQUE: Provides parties a unique
opportunity to manage and resolve
conflict through dialogue

CLIENT CENTERED: A process where
the client’s goals drive the discussion and
override the mediator’s desire for
settlement

DECISION-FOCUSED: Used by anyone
who faces conflict and needs to make
decisions. It can be therapeutic but must
not be therapy nor the practice of law
(most advice is ethically prohibited)
What Sets Mediation Apart
and Makes it Unique –
3 Keys:

Self-Determination

Impartiality

Confidentiality
Self - Determination
Capacity to make
decisions that are:
 Voluntary
 Uncoerced
 Freely made
 In consideration of
client capacity
 Safe for all
Avoiding:
 Undue Influence
 Coercion
 Threats against the
Person
 Property
 Dependents
 Pets

Definition of Domestic Violence
 Non-reciprocal
 Cyclical:




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Starts with a build up of tension,
Leads to a violent incident
Follows by a period of calm and remorse
Repeats at greater frequency and severity
Is ultimately lethal if the cycle is unbroken
(Lenore Walker)
How Violence Prevents the
Exercise of Self-Determination:
Batterer Intent:
to control and dominate a person
 Uses abusive tactics to intimidate or threaten a
victim into compliance.
 Based upon sense of entitlement by batterer
 Often “triggered” by victim’s attempts to assert
independence or disagree with perpetrator.
 Violence escalates in severity and frequency.
 When is likelihood of violence greatest?
Batterer Characteristics

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Superior in charge / Head of household
Objectify the person / Name calling
Selfish - their gain is someone else’s loss
Little or no consequence for their actions
Refuse to take responsibility for behavior
Jealous & possessiveness
Public vs. private behavior
Manipulative – of partner AND of system
USING
COERCION
AND THREATS
USING
ECONOMIC
ABUSE
USING
PRIVILEGE
Power
And
Control
USING
CHILDREN
National Center on Domestic
and Sexual Violence
www.ncdsv.org
USING
INTIMIDATION
USING
EMOTIONAL
ABUSE
USING
ISOLATION
MINIMIZING,
DENYING
AND BLAMING
Developed by:
Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
Duluth, MN, 218-722-4134
Causes and Misconceptions of
Domestic Violence:
 Intimate Partner Violence is a CHOICE! It is learned
through observation (family, friends, school, media,
etc.), it is learned in culture and society, it is learned
through experience and reinforcement.
 Domestic violence is NOT caused by




Alcohol or drugs
The relationship or the victim
Anger or stress
The batterer being out of control
Issues of Safety
Can we make it safe?
Who has expertise?
Safety Strategies:
Pre-Mediation
Mediation
Post-Mediation
Services
Referrals
*Separate rooms do NOT = Safety
Screening Tools
Strategies for Identifying
Intimate Partner Violence
What is the Context?
Broad Considerations for Mediators:
 INTENT in offender’s use of violence
 MEANING of the violence to the victim
 EFFECT of acts on the victim
 How this incident fits with PREVIOUS
PATTERNS of behavior
How does screening work in
Mediation?
 Before:

Initial Phone Call


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Ask if they have any concerns
Check to see if they have advocates, etc.
Pre-Mediation Intake or Orientation

Separate Meetings with both parties



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Face to Face
Different dates/times
Open questions
Screening tool if appropriate
Areas to Inquire: Control,
Coercion, Intimidation, Fear
How are/were decisions made in your marriage/relationship?
What happens when you speak your mind and express your point of view to the
other party; when you and the other party fight and/or are angry at each other?
Talk about the worst fight you have ever had. What did it look like? What was
said? What happened? Talk about the most recent fight you have had. What did it
look like? What was said? What happened?
Has the other party ever prevented you (or tried to prevent you) from having contact
with family or friends, or your children?
Has the other party ever denied you access to money for food, shelter, clothing,
medical needs?
Has the other party ever threatened to hurt or kill you or him/herself?
Do you have any concerns about sitting in the same room mediating with the other
party? Would they remain if you had an advocate with you?
Lethality Questions
 Risk Questions:

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Do you think he/she will seriously injure or kill
you or your children? What makes you think
so? What makes you think not?
How frequently and seriously does he/she
intimidate, threaten, or assault you?
Describe the most recent event.
Describe the most frightening event/worse
incidence of violence.
Weapons in the house? Pets injured?
MAKING A DECISION ABOUT WHETHER
OR NOT TO MEDIATE…
 Party is in Immediate Danger
 No Apparent Immediate
Danger, but the Abused Party
Disclosed Violence by or Fear
of the Other Party
 Non-Violent, but
Abusive/Controlling
 Protection Order/Restraining
Order In Effect
Safety Planning
Screening is an ongoing process (before,
during, and sometimes after mediation)
 What feels safe to a person in mediation?
 Signals between client and mediator in the
event client sees indicators of violence
 Exit planning: before, during, after Mediation
 Identify who to call and where to go for help;
Support availability (family, friends, advocate)
 What safety plans have worked in the past?
 Mandatory Reporting & Confidentiality
Services
 24-Hour Crisis Line

National Hot Line: 1-800-799-SAFE
 Shelter / Violence Intervention Centers
 Protection Order / Disorderly Conduct
Restraining Order
 Crisis Counseling
 Individual and Group Counseling
 Advocacy and Referrals
 Safety Planning
Questions?
2012 ND Law Review
Domestic Violence & Sexual
AssaUlt Symposium