Note: The purpose of this letter is to offer a suggestion on how best to approach the Religious
Order diocese to which the Catholic Priest concerned, belongs. Please edit accordingly. This
is merely a guideline. Please read all associated materials so as to fully inform yourself of
the surrounding issues before approaching the church.
Reverend Father.
“How can we issue solemn declarations on human rights and the rights of children, if we
then punish children for the errors of adults? If a child comes into this world in unwanted
circumstances, the parents and other members of the family must do everything possible to accept
that child as a gift from God and assume the responsibility of accepting him or her with openness
and affection.” – Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, 167. I pray that these words enter your heart
before you continue reading this letter.
I come to you in the knowledge that regardless of my personal stance on Catholicism, that
as a Church you are called by Christ Himself to witness to the degradation suffered by humanity
and are likewise called to respond actualizing that which Christ Himself said “love one another, as
I have loved you.”
I have been fathered by a Catholic Priest. I am not alone by any stretch of the imagination.
I am in contact with Coping International.
You may visit their website at
www.copinginternational.com
As the child of a Catholic Priest, I feel humiliation, but not because of something I
personally did, but because there exists a preference for and an expectation of ‘discretion’ which
itself is often masked as ‘privacy’. Privacy is a personal choice with room for maneuverability,
room to discuss, create and discover. As a Priest’s child, I feel enclosed, trapped in a cultural and
social, ecclesial norm… a ‘norm’ that suggests people like me do not exists, and where they do,
they are in the most absolute of minorities and that discretion is expected and required so as not to
upset the status quo.
Do you know the upsetting effect that this has upon a person? To always be secondary to
a belief system that is so rigid and unforgiving and inhuman as that of not contradicting the
absolute nature of celibacy by my person or calling the priesthood into disrepute, however it is you
who have disrespected my person. Under Canon Law, you are called to ensure that Priests live
according to that to which they have been called. “Canon 384 states in part: ‘…he [the bishop] is
to attend to presbyters [priests] with special concern…he is to protect their rights and see that they
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correctly fulfill the obligations proper to their state…’”1 The expectation of secrecy as a social
norm has had little but negative effect upon me and so I have taken it upon myself to make it
known, that is, my full identity without shame.
As I have suffered as a consequence of the actions of my biological father, both from an
emotional standpoint and a psychological standpoint, made to feel like I was a scandal… the
embodiment and personification of taboo, I have suffered, I have had no peace. Your insistence
from an institutional point of view until this point2 on the expectation, be that insistence direct or
indirect, has led to great psychological harm, and it is for that reason, having consulted with
CopingInternational.Com that this is a situation that pertains to Clerical Abuse.
I wish to make it known, that I feel a full apology is warranted and I believe the word ‘to
compensate’ means to put in a position prior to an event that may have occurred. I wish to start
over once again… without shame of fear and believe that counselling is required, professional,
confidential counselling at the cost of the diocese until such time, that I am well and have peace.
I know that I am not alone in making this request, recognizing that the Irish Catholic
Bishops Conference have made such mental health provisions for children of Catholic Priests for
many years now, as have other Catholic Church officials in places such as Canada and the UK. I
await your considerations and refer your attention to the accompanying documentation which are
also available online at www.copinginternational.com/help.
Kind Regards,
1
CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENTS AND THE CHILDREN OF ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIESTS. Thomas P.
Doyle, J.C.D., C.A.D.C. http://www.copinginternational.com/confidentiality-agreements
2
I both realise and consider it to be of great worth and merit, the attention that is now being paid
to this situation from an institutional point of view.
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