Empowering Your Child
Presenters
Ralph Whalen & Parents
November 10, 2009
Meeting Overview
Intro
Theory & Class
Parent Q: What
good messages..
Messages kids
receive
What parents can
do
Reasonable
Expectations
When to be
concerned
Handouts
Next Seminars
Evaluation
Goals
Connect with others.
Learn one idea about
emotional health that
will help you in your
family.
Learn from each other.
Guidance Topic
Conflict within
yourself
Pumsy, the puppet
Change the way
you feel by
changing the way
you think
Is This What Happens?
Something
Bad
Happens
To You
Feel
Rotten
(mud mind)
Is This What Happens?
Something
Good
Happens
To You
Feel
Good
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action
Happens
TO You
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Belief
Mud Mind
Thinking
Action
Happens
TO You
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action
Happens
TO You
Belief
Consequence
Mud Mind
Thinking
Feel Bad
(In Mud Mind)
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action
Happens
TO You
Belief
Consequence
Mud Mind
Thinking
Feel Bad,
In Mud Mind
Action
By You
(Unhealthy)
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action
Happens
TO You
Belief:
Clear Mind
Thinking
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action
Happens
TO You
Belief:
Consequence
Clear Mind
Thinking
Feel Good
(In Clear Mind)
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action
By
You
Action
Happens
TO You
(Healthy)
Belief:
Consequence
Clear Mind
Thinking
Feel Good,
In Clear Mind
Solution: Change Your Thinking
Belief
Consequence
Mud Mind
Thinking
Feel Bad,
Belief:
Clear Mind
Thinking
(In Mud Mind)
Solution: Change Your Thinking
Belief
Consequence
Mud Mind
Thinking
Feel Bad,
Belief:
Clear Mind
Thinking
(In Mud Mind)
Table Discussion Question
Introduce yourself
What messages
have you or your
child received that
helped shape a
positive self
esteem?
Pumsy Messages
Negative Messages
Positive
I am no good.
VS I am capable.
I can’t stand it.
VS I can handle it.
I must be perfect. VS It’s Ok to make
mistakes.
How Do Kids Get Messages?
Said to them
Said to others
Observe
Where Do Kids Get Messages?
Parents
Siblings
Relatives
Need to protect
younger children
from damaging
messages.
Other adults
Other kids
Media
http://www.youtub
e.com/watch?v=iY
hCn0jf46U
What Else Can You Do?
Model
Believe in child
Connect Child
Provide opportunities to
contribute
Praise effectively
Say “No”
Correct Correctly
Provide Hope
Discussion Question?
What are
unreasonable
expectations for
this age group?
Reasonable Expectations
No too low
Not too high
Stairs method
Effort, not just
outcome
Accept limitations
Partner Question
When do children
get in their mud
minds?
Emotional Outburst: What To Do
Listen
Identify the feeling
Help problem solve
Use Clear Mind
Have faith in your
child
When To Be Concerned
Avoids tasks or Quits
Makes excuses, cheats
or lies
Change in behavior
school performance
relationships
sleep patterns
Inability to concentrate
Emotionally unstable
Final Steps
Q&A
Handouts
Next Seminar: Wed, Dec 3
“Responsibility: Give It To Get It”
Evaluation