Lifestyle Transitions
Separation & Divorce
Table of Contents
I.
Introduction ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1
II.
Pre-Marriage assets ---------------------------------------------------------------------------2
III.
Household assets list --------------------------------------------------------------------------3
IV.
Assets requiring division ---------------------------------------------------------------------4
V.
Bank & other ready cash assets ------------------------------------------------------------5
VI.
Bonds --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------6
VII.
Longer Term Investments/RRSP ----------------------------------------------------------7
VIII.
Spousal RRSP/Pensions ---------------------------------------------------------------------8
IX.
Benefits & Insurance -------------------------------------------------------------------------9
X.
Debts – pre-marriage & current ----------------------------------------------------------10
XI.
Goals --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------11
XII.
Large Assets with complications ----------------------------------------------------------12
XIII.
Your planning proposals -------------------------------------------------------------------13
XIV.
Choosing your lawyer/mediator ----------------------------------------------------------14
XV.
Coping with Emotions ----------------------------------------------------------------------15
XVI.
Appendix – consumer resources ----------------------------------------------------------16
Introduction
Objective
Divorce is not something you plan to have happen however; once you have decided that staying
in your marriage is not a viable option you really need to plan how to survive the family division
with the least amount of pain, cost and disruption as possible .
The first thing to understand is that nobody comes out a winner financially – it is a myth
that one of you becomes much richer. Think about the fact when you divide a pot there is less
than when you started. Legally, there is an attempt to make a fair division but the word itself
tells you that both parties are going to have less assets.
You will save money by organizing yourself, thinking things through completely and being as
logical as possible to attain a better cost effective result.
The more information you have prepared, the less cost for legal fees, if necessary. If you both
behave as adults and put any bad blood behind you, mediation is likely the most inexpensive
route to go. Regardless of whether you use mediation or a lawyer, you will save money by
communicating honestly, fairly and with the children in mind.
Life is not fair and certainly neither is the justice system. It is for these reasons that you need to
be prepared to look at the whole picture, determine what is absolutely necessary for you and in
the best interests of the family as a whole.
It depends a great deal upon what your new life will look like as to what you need to negotiate
for and what is important to your future.
Work hard at holding the emotions at bay and letting go of the past. Remember you cannot do
anything about what has already happened and a house is merely bricks and mortar – it is your
security in the coming years and that of your children’s that needs to be paramount.
-1-
Begin with a plan to keep you afloat
Divorce Workbook
Being properly armed before you meet with a lawyer or mediator will save you money. You need to take one
step at a time and be certain to gather as many pieces of information as possible.
Step One
Write out a list of property that you brought into the marriage:
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Write out a list of exempt assets and their history to verify that these assets cannot be divided:
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-2-
History of your dating, marriage and separation:
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-3-
Do a household inventory:
Living Room
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Family Room
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Kitchen
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Dining Room
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Bedrooms
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Bathroom
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Garage/Shed
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Sun Room/Hobby Room
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-4Remember to do your homework on identifying all
contents within your home!
Assets that you expect to divide
You will need to consider larger items that can either be sold or divided or that needed to be given a value and
bargained for to come to a fair distribution of your current family belongings. Consider specific things that you
would not wish to part with and also those items that your spouse would really want to keep when compiling
your list.
Property:
Tip: For the value of your home, cottage, or rental property, call an appraiser (for an exact value)
or a well-established realtor for a ballpark idea of worth.
Home _____________________________
Rental Property _____________________________
Cottage ___________________________
Land ______________________________________
Furniture:
Call a second hand dealer or antique dealer to evaluate the values of your furnishings.
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Heirlooms/antiques:
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Vehicles:
Tip: Check the black book value of the vehicles, use the internet or the local library or credit union
to borrow the “Lemon” Aid Book on cars.
Make___________________
Model___________________
Year _____________________
Make ___________________
Model ___________________
Year _____________________
-5-
Change your pin number on your debit card to
protect against your “ex” cleaning you out if times
get tough for them.
Remember to be honest about the assets
You will only cause problems if things go to court and you have not been totally truthful.
Bank Accounts:
Bank ____________________
Account #__________________
Type______________________
Owned by_______________________________________________
Bank ____________________
Account # __________________
Type ______________________
Owned by _______________________________________________
Bank ____________________
Account # __________________
Type ______________________
Owned by _______________________________________________
Interest Bearing GIC & Term Deposits: (Guaranteed Investment Certificates, deposits that are held for
short terms – 30, 60, 90 days etc.)
Institution ____________________ Amount $___________________ Maturity _____________________
Owned by _______________________________________________ Interest rate ___________________
Institution ___________________
Amount $ ___________________ Maturity _____________________
Owned by ________________________________________________ Interest rate ___________________
Institution ___________________ Amount $ ____________________ Maturity _____________________
Owned by ________________________________________________ Interest rate ___________________
Institution ___________________ Amount $ ____________________ Maturity _____________________
Institution ___________________ Amount $ ____________________ Maturity _____________________
Owned by ________________________________________________ Interest rate ___________________
Institution ___________________ Amount $ ____________________ Maturity _____________________
-6-
Non-Registered Fixed Income - Bonds:
Establish a line of credit and/or credit card in your
own name while you are still together to avoid being
turned down once in a lower income bracket..
Tip: Canada Savings Bonds are cashable any day
but always cash these bonds after the end of the month to keep all the interest.
Canada Savings Bonds
Name_______________________
Amount $___________________
Maturity _____________________
Owned by_______________________________________________ Interest rate ____________________
Name _______________________ Amount $___________________
Maturity _____________________
Owned by _______________________________________________ Interest rate ____________________
Name _______________________ Amount $___________________
Maturity _____________________
Owned by _______________________________________________ Interest rate ____________________
Name _______________________ Amount $___________________
Maturity _____________________
Owned by ________________________________________________
Interest rate __________________
Other Bonds (Government of Canada, Provincial or Corporate)
Name_______________________
Amount $___________________
Maturity _____________________
Owned by_______________________________________________ Interest rate ____________________
Name _______________________ Amount $___________________
Maturity _____________________
Owned by _______________________________________________ Interest rate ____________________
Name _______________________ Amount $___________________
Maturity _____________________
Owned by _______________________________________________ Interest rate ____________________
Name _______________________ Amount $___________________
Maturity _____________________
Owned by ________________________________________________
Interest rate __________________
-6-
Non-Registered Equity Investments:
Name _______________________
Amount shares __________________ Class _____________________
Owned by ___________________________________________________
Name ______________________ Amount shares ____________________ Class ____________________
Owned by ____________________________________________________
Name _______________________ Amount shares ____________________ Class ___________________
Owned by _____________________________________________________
Name _______________________ Amount shares _____________________ Class __________________
Owned by ______________________________________________________
Name _______________________ Amount shares ______________________ Class _________________
Owned by _______________________________________________________
Name _______________________ Amount shares ______________________ Class _________________
Owned by _______________________________________________________
Name _______________________ Amount shares ______________________ Class _________________
Owned by _______________________________________________________
Name _______________________ Amount shares ______________________ Class _________________
Owned by _______________________________________________________
If your spouse has unused RSP room, you can negotiate
to have a spousal contribution made in your name prior
to separation that is not equalized.
Registered Accounts:
Personal RRSP:
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
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Spousal RRSP:
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Locked-In RRSP:
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Institution_______________________________________________________ Value_________________
Do not discount or ignore pension values
You can request to split Canada Pension by calling
HRDC (Human Resources Development Canada)
1-800-277-9914 for English
of 1-800-277-9915 for French
Your future needs security too! You now are solely responsible for youself!
Company/Union Pension & Benefits:
Personal:
Medical benefits________________________________________________________________________
Dental benefits _________________________________________________________________________
Life insurance value ____________________________beneficiary________________________________
Future needs of benefits for self ____________ for children _____________________________________
Expected pension income ___________________________ Pension Value _________________________
-8-
Spouse:
Medical benefits _______________________________________________________________________
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Dental benefits _________________________________________________________________________
Life insurance value ____________________________beneficiary________________________________
Future needs of benefits for self ____________ for children _____________________________________
Expected pension income ___________________________ Pension Value _________________________
Remember to protect your support payments by putting insurance in place where you are the owner of the
policy – your future income is at stake
Private Life Insurance:
Company_______________________________________ Policy #_______________________________
Type (Whole, Term, Universal Life) _______________________________________________________
Amount of Coverage __________________________ joint or single _____________________________
Term Year (s)_______________________________ Life insured_________________________________
Company_______________________________________ Policy #_______________________________
Type (Whole, Term, Universal Life) _______________________________________________________
Amount of Coverage __________________________ joint or single _____________________________
Term Year (s)_______________________________ Life insured_________________________________
Company_______________________________________ Policy #_______________________________
Type (Whole, Term, Universal Life) _______________________________________________________
Amount of Coverage __________________________ joint or single _____________________________
Term Year (s)_______________________________ Life insured_________________________________
-9-
Disability Protection
Personal
Coverage via work
Premiums paid by employer ____ Premiums paid personally ____ for a cost of _____________________
Monthly income replaced ____________________________ adjusted for cost of living by %_________
Coverage begins after ________ number of days and lasts for _________ number of months or years.
Private coverage
Monthly income replaced ____________________________ adjusted for cost of living by %_________
Coverage begins after ________ number of days and lasts for _________ number of months or years.
Coverage via a bank mortgage _____________ for what period of time ___________________________
Does this protection meet your lifestyle expenses on a monthly basis if loss of work occurs? __________
Spouse
Coverage via work
Premiums paid by employer ____ Premiums paid personally ____ for a cost of _____________________
Monthly income replaced ____________________________ adjusted for cost of living by %_________
Coverage begins after ________ number of days and lasts for _________ number of months or years.
Private coverage
Monthly income replaced ____________________________ adjusted for cost of living by %_________
Coverage begins after ________ number of days and lasts for _________ number of months or years.
Coverage via a bank mortgage _____________ for what period of time ___________________________
Does this protection meet the support you expect to receive if loss of work occurs? ___________________
-10-
Step Two:
Your debts will also be counted to determine how much each of you will receive upon the division of all
assets.
Write out a list of the debts brought into the marriage; note any agreements made in writing stating who has
responsibility for any debts:
Institution________________________________ Amount________________ Date_________________
Institution________________________________ Amount________________ Date_________________
Institution________________________________ Amount________________ Date_________________
Institution________________________________ Amount________________ Date_________________
Remember to inform creditors if you are not responsible
for a debt any longer in writing along with your separation
or divorce decree
Write out current debts:
Institution________________________________ Amount ___________________ Interest_____________
Owned __________________________________ Time Left ____________________________________
Institution________________________________ Amount ___________________ Interest_____________
Owned __________________________________ Time Left ____________________________________
Institution________________________________ Amount ___________________ Interest_____________
Owned __________________________________ Time Left ____________________________________
Institution________________________________ Amount ___________________ Interest_____________
Owned __________________________________ Time Left ____________________________________
Institution________________________________ Amount ___________________ Interest_____________
Owned __________________________________ Time Left ____________________________________
Institution________________________________ Amount ___________________ Interest_____________
Owned __________________________________ Time Left ____________________________________
Institution________________________________ Amount ___________________ Interest_____________
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An emergency fund is a goal you must set up and needs to be built
up to three months expenses.
Working on a proposed and actual budget needs to be a family
(now you and your children’s) learning experience that will
improve each day of your life.
Now is the time to set goals especially if you have never set goals before.
Step Three
Goal Setting:
Take time to think about what you really want. Also consider the areas or items that you expect to
be difficult to divide or give up by both parties.
You will need to assess methods that could be adopted to negotiate these particular special items.
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Special Areas:
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Identify concerns with the substantial assets (i.e. home, cottage, and business) that if unable to divide currently,
pose ongoing expenses and ownership. Work on finding a solution before reacting emotionally.
Large Assets:
Explain why a specific asset may remain jointly owned and how you expect to fairly share the responsibility of
continued costs.
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Draft a Rough Proposal for the possible division taking into account shared debts and assets. Keep
fairness in mind to create a list that you feel either party would be willing to live with as to what
they receive or must be responsible for paying.
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Action Plan
Tip: Today is the first day of the rest of your life – use it wisely
Create an action agenda that identifies the assets being divided, who will deliver particular items, during or at
what time frame and any special conditions that may apply. Also who, when and how children will be picked up
for visits or events.
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Step Four
Choosing a professional to facilitate the process of splitting up:
Don't just thumb through the phone book to choose a
mediator or lawyer - Ask friends, family, co-workers and
other professionals for referrals who specialize in family law
and what their track records are like.
Tip: Do not use the same lawyer as your spouse even if there is no disagreement
Be prepared with all your documents and the history of your courtship, married life and difficulties as well as
where everything stands today. Also have a page of questions ready to interview those you choose to meet
before deciding who will best suit your situation.
The following are the type of questions you need to ask to assist you in making a more informed choice:
What area of law do you specialize in and what have your success ratios been?
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Are there other people in your office that will work on my behalf or will you take sole responsibility for my
case?
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What are your fees and how do you charge them (hourly, size of retainer, monthly, etc)? Is there a different fee
for work done by other people in your office? What have cases similar to mine cost in total?
How do you feel about mediation? Have you ever worked with mediators or financial divorce specialists?
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If I use the mediation process, can I request you to assist me in any specific points that need legal
expertise?
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Can you explain to me what to expect regarding my case based on the information I have given you?
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Do you have any former cases where a complaint was laid or the bar or mediation association was involved?
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It is important that you and your lawyer or mediator communicate well and that there is a comfort level between
your personalities. Use your instincts to determine if you like the person. Could you work easily with them
along with whether you understand the way they talk to you about legal terms, technicalities and the like.
-15-
Step Five
Dealing with the Emotions:
It is normal to feel worried and fearful and using the logical part of your mind will help determine if you
are making a purely emotional decision or a necessary one.
Use an objective approach of writing down the positive and negative aspects of your life, marriage and future
both now and how you would like it to be from a realistic point of view.
Positives
Negatives
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Consider the changes for you, your children, where you will live, friends, family, schooling for everyone and
future relationship with your spouse if children are involved.
-16-
Taking Steps Towards a New Life
Keep receipts for everything you spend ,
including money given to the kids, for a
6-12 week period to determine your new
basic lifestyle costs.
Use tools to keep you focused and upbeat
Keep your new goals in front of you on a daily basis. Use photographs showing new living accommodations,
new job or schooling symbols on the fridge, bathroom mirror, bed table etc. to keep reminding you that things
are moving in a progressive manner.
Post sticky notes in the car, on the fridge, or at your desk ( maybe in your wallet, special drawer, etc.) with
positive thoughts that keep you from reacting emotionally.
I.E. I am enjoying my life and the new challenges that it presents.
Think before you speak, for things you say may come back to you in spades one day.
I am strong, confident and feeling good about myself.
My children are wonderful and I will consider their feelings before badmouthing my spouse.
My mood can change to be good if I want it too and negativity never produced any good.
Looking after my finances is a liberating experience.
You can write out whatever notes will calm your hot buttons and make life easier on a daily basis.
Do not hesitate to seek a counselor for yourself and the entire family as this is a major change and may need
some teaching techniques to assist you through the process.
Tip: Seek out the necessary experts or support teams to teach you what you need to succeed in your
new life.
Find out what groups are in your community as support groups
Seek out financial advice as to managing your budget and avoiding excess credit.
Look for family conflict resolutions specialists to assist you in coping with the new relationship with
your spouse, their possible new partner and how the children respond to their new relationships with
everyone.
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Resource Guides
Federal and Alberta Child Support Guidelines:
Access the Government of Canada website: www.justice.gc.ca
Divorce Website for Canadians:
By Joel Miller
www.familylawcentre.com/famlaw.html
Divorce Magazine:
www.divorcemag.com
Parenting:
Parents Without Partners (local chapters available in most cities)
www.parentswithoutpartners.org
Parentlink
Phone # 1-800-552-8522
Books to Read:
Marriage, Separation and Divorce
by David I. Botnick
Divorce
by Gail Vaz-Oxlade