Off to Camp, but Still Tied to Home (6 Letters) - New York Times
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Off to Camp, but Still Tied to Home (6 Letters)
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Next Article in Opinion (8 of 14) »
Published: July 24, 2006
To the Editor:
Re “Loosen the Apron Strings” (column, July 20):
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Boy — is Judith Warner correct! I have often noted with great
disappointment the change in summer camps from the time that I was a
camper in the 1950’s.
When I was sent off to Maine as an 8-year-old, I was really away from my Westchester
home and family for 60 days. “Snail mail” was our only contact. No phone calls, no e-mail,
no Web cameras and only one visiting day — with no extended family members descending.
Today I see so many kids who go to camp but are not really “away” in any sense of the word
— and certainly do not experience any sense of independence, and all the personal growth
that that brings.
It is too bad for all involved that in this case. at least, we cannot return to the “good old
days.”
Michael Wellner
New York, July 20, 2006
•
To the Editor:
Judith Warner succinctly describes the lack of value that so many parents in our culture put
on children having simple fun in being children.
To the parents who e-mail their kids every day and want video cameras at the campsites, I
say, “Get a life!”
I have two young daughters, and I send them away to camp for several weeks over the
summer and want them to have fun with the camping experience. I write them a few letters
and trust that I have taught them good values that they will use in making decisions in
camp.
The notion that children have to constantly be doing some exercise that will help them get
better grades and get into a better school is not what childhood is about.
Parents, relax out there. Having good old fashion fun is a very valuable element to the
childhood experience. Our children can study and learn and blend that with fun and grow
up to be well-rounded, happy individuals.
Gary Hurewitz
Chappaqua, N.Y., July 20, 2006
•
To the Editor:
I am a parent of two children (ages 8 and almost 12) who are presently finishing their
fourth week of sleep-away camp in far-off Vermont.
7/24/2006 10:38 AM
Off to Camp, but Still Tied to Home (6 Letters) - New York Times
2 of 3
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/24/opinion/l24camp.html
My word of advice to the many parents who do not send their kids away, either because the
kids are forced to study for the SAT’s or because the parents think they cannot bear to let
them go, is: Get over it and send the kids to camp.
And make sure that the camp is a real camp — no e-mail, no Game Boys, no
air-conditioning. We are raising the most pampered generation ever, and our own
insecurities are keeping our kids from some of the best parts of childhood.
Camp, and being away from the parental influence so the child can learn more about
himself, is an essential ingredient for fostering independence and maturity. It gives parents
time to be themselves, as well.
I can’t wait to get my kids on Sunday, but the four-week break was good for all of us!
Nica Lalli
Brooklyn, July 20, 2006
•
To the Editor:
It’s good that Judith Warner understands that her child will benefit from the independence
fostered by going away to camp.
Our daughter went away to camp last year for four weeks, at her request, and she loved it;
this year she asked to stay home and have a lazy summer, and now she is loving that.
Camp is great for exploring new environments and for being independent, but sometimes it
is good to explore what it means to be home. If you can swing it, unstructured summers at
home are an even more important gift to your children than the privilege of camp.
Sometimes the hardest lesson is how to sit still; to make quiet moments together, to go to
the pool and swim and read all day (any direction, any format, just don’t drop the books in
the pool, please), to learn to know each other — as parents, children, and siblings — in ways
that the hectic school year does not allow.
It is not always easy (“I’m bored!” is an occasional refrain, and we keep the bedroom door
closed to avoid too many room-cleaning spats), but I am hoping that, in most moments, we
are creating memories for those times when necessity dictates that we will have to be apart.
Sarah Connell Campbell
Groton, Mass., July 20, 2006
•
To the Editor:
Here’s the real point: Parents who fear even a day out of contact with their children are
actually losing touch with them.
Through obsessive, controlling, overscheduling behavior, they turn themselves into bosses,
their children into little employees and childhood into work — a series of jobs (ballet,
volunteer work, college prep, soccer and so on) into which kids are forced willy-nilly
because it’s “good for them.”
That’s not love — it’s management.
Parental obsession with contact masks empty communication that is relentlessly trickling
down. A cartoon by Michael Crawford in The New Yorker made the point nicely. It depicts a
youngster in a stroller, cellphone to his ear. He’s saying into it, “I’m in the Maclaren, where
are you?”
Bill Marsano
New York, July 20, 2006
7/24/2006 10:38 AM
Off to Camp, but Still Tied to Home (6 Letters) - New York Times
3 of 3
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/24/opinion/l24camp.html
•
To the Editor:
Judith Warner describes her daughter’s camp experience as six days away from “tightly
scheduled playdates” and “questions, and worries, and insistence that books be read from
front to back, with dust jackets intact, then shelved spines facing up, vertically, please. Six
days to breathe.” Yikes!
While Ms. Warner may view camp as a respite from controlling, overbearing parenting,
there are myriad ways throughout all 52 weeks of the year to provide the “rough-it-out,
independence-building” experiences that Ms. Warner espouses. There is no camp on earth
that can serve as a cure-all for today’s overscheduled children. Only parents can do that.
Trudy Hauser Gregson
Lower Gwynedd, Pa., July 20, 2006
Next Article in Opinion (8 of 14) »
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