Integrating personal, political, and professional educational practice that
gives meaning and purpose to my life and work
-great title.
The abstract reads very well.
p. 3 Your video in the poster is very hard to hear: is it possible to improve the
sound/volume?
“This account is in the form of a multimedia narrative as this communicates better
than text alone my meanings of a multidimensional and relationally-dynamic
understanding of collaboration, which is at the heart of educational practice.” This is
a claim-should there be an “I think’ or ‘I claim’ or something here? Is it a given?
p. 5 All living-theories are living, that is evolving.-needs a comma after ‘is’.
The generative and transformational influence a person has on others and on social
formations through their way of being is however far more complex than Noffke
suggests, as the paper by Fowler and Christakis (2008) on the ‘Dynamic spread of
happiness in a large social network’ demonstrates.” Commas around ‘however’
p. 6 I use capitals to distinguish Living Educational Theory research (often
shortened to Living Theory research) from an individual’s living-educationaltheory (often shortened to living-theory). Is this a sub-heading or a note? As a
heading it might be more specific to what follows.
I understand meanings of what is educational education to keep connection
between an individual’s learning to create knowledge of the world and knowledge of
themselves living values that give their meaning and purpose to their lives. This
sentence is difficult for me to follow. Would this work: ‘My understanding of
‘educational’ education is keeping the connection between an individual’s learning
to create knowledge of the world and their knowledge of themselves living values
that give meaning and purpose to their lives.’ ?
The purpose of Living Theory research is to develop, test and share educational
knowledge of personal, professional and political educational practice, that holds
the hope of contributing to the development of a world in which humanity can
flourish, in the process of enquiring into their field/discipline practice to improve it.
I feel that this sentence is too long.
These are important points and I had to read it three times to get it to hold together.
Would this work: The purpose of Living Theory research is to develop, test and
share educational knowledge of personal, professional and political educational
practice in the process of enquiring into one’s field/discipline (of practice) to
improve it. The individual’s living-theory holds the hope of contributing to the
development of a world in which humanity can flourish
The researcher’s ontological and social values, that give their life meaning and
purpose to their life, are clarified as…I am unaware of this distinction in values. Is
this new to Living Theory?
p. 7 and my values of an inclusive, emancipating, egalitarian society, continue to
form my… and so should there be a “social” before “values”?
‘i’ stands for the self that is trying to contribute to the flourishing of humanity and to
extend their love to themselves as well as others as a person living a life that is
satisfying, productive and worthwhile.
to extend their love to themselves as well-this clause is a bit confusing. Can there be
themselves here?
p. 9 I think of a productive life in Marx’s terms of being twice affirmed as I produce
something that is both satisfying to me and that others find useful in their lives.
No reference for this?
p. 10 We need some transition from BRLSI to
Moving On Up is a collaborative…
p. 14 You acknowledge elsewhere the educational influence…- can you be more specific here?
It is beautiful to put these interpretations together… do we know what “these interpretations
are referring to?
p. 15 The reflections and learning by Michelle, Sarah, Robyn and myself are not just
formed by what we see in the video, we are informed… - there should be a semi-colon
after ‘video’.
Michelle, Sarah and Robyn are concerned to be researching to improve their
professional educational practice by developing their living-theory praxis. This is a claim.
How do you know this?
1988 presidential address to BERA. Needs reference.
Living Theory research is academic,… do you mean, to be accredited, it is or is expected
to be… The evidence in the website provides evidence that Living Theory research is…
p. 16 There are different ways to understand ‘professional’, most often understood by
remunerated employment.. this seems like a new topic; does it need a new subheading?
As I am researching my educational practice as a Living Theory researcher I believe I
continue to behave as a professional educational practitioner: I am holding myself to
account to live values concerned with the flourishing of humanity as fully as possible,
and in making public valid accounts of my living-theory I also hold myself to account to
those who also want to contribute to the flourishing of humanity, and contribute to an
the growth of an educational knowledge base. This sentence is very long and has an
extra “an”. Can we split iit after “possible”?
p. 17 Alan Rayner-reference?
Professional educational practice and I am concerned with understanding and extending
the educational influence of the knowledge I am creating to enhance the learning of
others. Political educational practice and I am concerned with understanding and
extending the educational influence of… both of these are incomplete sentences.
I am trying to extend the educational influence of the knowledge I create to
influence the learning of social formations by making it public in spaces where others
might hear it and in a way they might critically and creatively engage with to extend
their contribution to developing social formations within which humanity can flourish.
Very long sentence. How about,
I am trying to extend the educational influence of the knowledge I create to
influence the learning of social formations by making it public in spaces where others
might critically and creatively engage to extend their contribution to developing social
formations.
There is a transition needed here so that the reader follows why this point is being made
under this topic: Taleb (2010) expresses succinctly the form that knowledge needs to be
communicated in for it to be influential
This section from here to Reflections strikes me as a new topic about effective
communication of research.
This has been said before. If this is part of the Reflections, it might bear
repeating: My meaning of ‘a better place for all’ is one that is inclusive, emancipating
and egalitarian and where each person extends themselves and others a loving
recognition, a respectful connectedness and an educational responsibility: a place
where each person can recognize, value and develop their own unique contributions
and recognize, value and contribute to the development of other people’s unique
contributions to make this a place where humanity can flourish. A place where there are
loving recognitions and expressions of ‘I~i am because we are’ and ‘we are because I~i
am’, which I represent by i~we~i.
Living Theory research by its very nature involves developing collaborative or
cooperative relationships with other people. ‘Co-operative’ and ‘collaborative’ often
used interchangeably and… This came up earlier. Could it be added to that part?
Reflections: this title needs more detail. Reflections on what?
p. 19 I recognize my need to develop my skills as a researcher to progress my… in order
to make progress?
(no matter how microscopic or irritating)- I would suggest removing this.
I feel that leaving the reader with this many questions makes for a weak ending but you
decide. I would suggest a conclusion of some sort which pulls the argument together in
a sort of review.
.