PENGUINBOOKS
GAMEOVER
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‘Parksdepictsthenitty-grittyofrelationshipswithauthenticdetailand
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read’SundayMirror
‘Compulsivelyaddictiveandinvolvedwithsexualpassionandbad
decisions’Elle
‘Atouchinglookatinfidelity,love,andallthecrapthatgoeswithit’
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ABOUTTHEAUTHOR
AdeleParkswasborninTeeside,north-eastEngland.ShereadEnglish
LanguageandLiteratureatLeicesterUniversity.Sincegraduatingshe
haslivedinItalyandAfricabuthasspentmostofheradultlifein
London.ShelivesinChiswick,withherhusbandandson.Herearlier
novels,PlayingAway,GameOver,LargerthanLife,TheOtherWoman’s
ShoesandStillThinkingofYouwereallbestsellersandarepublishedin
overtwentydifferentcountries.
www.adeleparks.com
GameOver
AdeleParks
PENGUINBOOKS
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Firstpublished2001
21
Copyright©AdeleParks-Smith,2001
Allrightsreserved
Themoralrightoftheauthorhasbeenasserted
ExceptintheUnitedStatesofAmerica,thisbookissoldsubjectctexttotheconditionthatitshall
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ISBN-13:978-0-14-192523-3
FormySignificantExes
1
‘Whataninauspiciousstarttomarriedlife,’Joshcomments.
‘Istheresuchathingasanauspiciousstart?’Iask.Hegrinsatmeand
Issiescowls.Shelikesweddings.Therainisfallingsohardit’sbouncing
offthepavementsandupmyskirt.I’mbloodycoldandwishthebride
wouldstophugginghermotherandsimplygetinthecar.Ilookcloser.
Maybesheisn’tsomuchhuggingasclinging.Maybetheseriousnessof
whatshe’sdonehashitherandshe’shavingsecondthoughts.Issie
shakestheremnantsofconfettifromtheblueboxbutmissesthebride
andgroom.Theconfettisettlesonthegrubbyroad.Thefilthystreetisa
starkcontrasttothefineryoftheirclothes,thecar,theflowers,the
smilesthatradiate.
‘Josh,what’sthepropernameforasquashedcube?’Iask,pointingto
thelittleblueboxofconfetti.‘Theyshouldredesignthispackaging,’I
add.
‘No!’Issielookshorrified,asifI’dsuggestedexposingmybikinilineto
thevicar.‘Weddingsareabouttradition.’
‘Eveniftraditionmeanstackyandpredictable?’Twobigsinsinmy
book.
‘Bydefinition,’shedefends.Thensheleapsforwardtojostleforafront
positiontocatchthebouquet.Shenervouslyhopsfromonefoottothe
other,hersleek,blonde,shoulder-lengthhairbrushingherright
shoulder,thenherleft,thenherrightagain.Issieisafidget.Iamastill
person.Shecontinuallyrubsherhandstogether,tapsherfeet,jerksher
knee.Sheoncereadthatthisconstantnervousactivityusesthirty
caloriesanhour,morethanaMarsbaraday,poundsinayear,awhole
dresssizeinalifetime.Herconstantunfocusedactivitystrikesmeasa
fairlyaccuratemetaphorforhowshelivesherlife.
Idon’ttrytocatchtheflowers.Idon’ttryfortworeasons.One,Issie
willlynchmeifIcatchthem.She’sspenttheentirereceptionspikingthe
drinksofsinglewomen,inthehopethatthiswilldiminishtheir
coordination.Andtwo,it’sbollocks.
Noreally,thewholemarriagethingisbollocks.ImeanI’mashappy
asthenextonetohaveanexcusetowearahatanddrinkchampagne.
Generally,weddingreceptionsarealaugh,abig,funparty.Butthat’sas
farasitgoesforme.Beyondthat,it’sbollocks.I’mnotaman.AndI’m
notalesbian.I’mnotevenamanhater–Joshisoneofmybestfriends
andhe’saman.I’masingle,successful,attractive,33-year-old,
heterosexual.Ijustdon’twanttogetmarried.Ever.
Clear?
Issiedoesn’tcatchtheflowersandshelooksasthoughthe
disappointmentwillbreakher.
‘Adrink,Cas?Issie?’asksJosh,inanefforttocheerherup.Hedoesn’t
waitforaresponsebutturnsbacktothehotelandheadsdirectlyforthe
bar.Heknowsthatwe’llwillinglyjoinhimforadrinkMartini-style:any
time,anyplace,anywhere.Weelbowthroughtheelegantcrowds.This
morningtheysatdemurelyinchurchpewsbuttheyhavenow
abandonedanysemblanceofcivilization.Theexitofthebride,the
groomandtheoldiesleavestherestoftheguestsfreetoindulgeinwhat
broughtustotheweddinginthefirstplace.Theopportunityforsome
hedonistic,nostringsattached,unashamedsex.
Iselectedmytargetinthechurch,beforethe‘Idos’.Irelocatehim.
He’stall,darkandhandsome.Admittedly,hedoesn’tlookthatbright.
Rathertooinlovewithhimselftoallowroomforanyoneelse.Perfect.
Deepandmeaningfulisanover-ratedphenomenon.Shallowand
meaninglessbutwellendowedgetssuchahardpress.
It’simportanttopickoutatargetearlyonintheproceedingsandit’s
importanttolethimknowhe’sit.Ismile.Directlyathim.Ifatthispoint
helooksaroundandtriestolocatetherecipientofmysmile,I’ll
instantlygooffhim.Ilikemymentobearrogantenoughtoknowthat
I’mflirtingwiththem.
Hepassesthetestbygrinningbackatme.Onlyturningtocatchhis
reflectioninthemirrorthathangsbehindthebar.Hegrinsagain.This
timeathimself.Thedifferenceinappreciationisfractional.Idon’tmind.
Vanityisasafetynet.Iflickmyhairandturnaway.Jobdone.
IssieandJosharestillfightingtheirwaytothebar.Icallthemback.
‘What?Iwasnearlyatthefront,’Issiecomplains.
‘Don’tworry,drinksareontheirway,’Iassure.
‘Oh.’Sherelaxesintothechintzchair.Joshlightsafag,trustingme.
Weareallfamiliarwithmyroutine.JoshandIssieknowallaboutme.
Joshislikeabrothertome.Wemetagedsevenoveroursuburban
fences.Itisthismeetingthatmakesmebelieveinfate.Wemetwhen
ourfamilies’starswerecrossing.Hisintheascendant.Minespiralling
downwards.
ThatsummerwesharedRubik’scubes,creamsodaandanuneasy
senseofimpendingchange.Ourchildishsixthsensetoldusthatwewere
bothpowerlessinthefaceofadultwhim.Thefive-bedroomdetached,in
Esher,Surrey,thatmymotherandIhadthoughtwasadreamhome
turnedouttobeatemporaryresidence.Thatsummermyfather
announcedthathewasinlovewithanotherwomanandcouldn’tlive
withouther.Mymothershowedrarewitandemotionalhonestyby
askingwhetherhe’dprefercremationorburial.Myfathermovedout
immediatelyfollowinghisannouncement.Iwastoseehimthreemore
timesinmylife.Aweeklaterwhenhecametocollecthisrecordsand
hebroughtmeaLundbydoll’shouse(presumablytoreplacethereal
homehewasdestroying).Amonthlaterwhenhetookmetothezoo(I
criedtheentireafternoon,sayingthattheanimalsbehindthebarsupset
me.Infact,theydidn’t,butIwasdeterminedthatbothmyfatherandI
wouldhaveaterribleafternoon–afterall,mymotherandIwerehaving
plentyofthem).AndthefollowingChristmas(whenIrefusedtoopen
hispresentorsitonhisknee).Afterthat,hejustsentChristmasand
birthdaycards,whichpeteredoutbeforeIwasten.Josh’sseventh
summerwasn’tgreateither:hewastoldthathewastobewrenched
fromhiscomfortablelocalprimaryschoolandpreppedatthehallowed
groundofStowe.Thinkingaboutit,perhapsitwasn’tsomuchasixth
sense.Theprep-schoolprospectusesandtheendlessrowswerea
giveaway.Althoughverynearlyentirelysubmergedinourownterror,
wesettledintoanuneasymutualsympathythatpassedas
companionship.Sulkilylearningtorollerskateandeatingraw
gooseberrieshasanenormousbondingeffect.Istillthinkhegotthebest
deal.Atthattimewehadlivedinidenticalhomes,distinguishableonly
bythecolouroftheFormicaonthekitchenunits.Iwasnevertolivein
anythingsospaciousagain.He,inanythingsocompact.AsachildI
identifiedthedifference.Hisfatherkeptquietabouthisaffairs.
Isuspectthatourchildishfriendship,althoughintenseinasharing
gobsmackertypeofway,wouldhavepeteredoutexceptthatwemet
again,agedtwelve,atacountytennistournament.Joshrecognizedthat
knowingagirl,anygirl,wouldimprovehisstandingatStowe.Iwas
attractedbyhisroundedvowels,andevenatthatearlyagehad
recognizedthatcompetitionwashealthy,achallengethattheboysat
WestfordComprehensiveroseto.Itturnedoutthatwestilllikedeach
other.WelikedeachothersomuchthatJoshinsistedondisappointing
histeachersandparentsbyjoiningmeatManchesterUniversity.They’d
hadtheirsightssetonanestablishmentthatwasalittleolderand
altogetherlessred-brick.IwasdeterminedtogotoManchester;forthe
trendybands,theradicalstudentsunion,themeninturned-upLevisand
DMs,butmostlyfortheoutstandingmediastudiescourse.
Joshistall,sixfoottwo,blond.IfIlookatitobjectively,Ihaveto
admitheisthemostattractivemanIknowthatIhaven’tsleptwith.
WheneverIintroducehimtomygirlfriendsandcolleagues,they
unilaterallyswoon,theygoonandonabouthowfanciableheis.Heis
what’sdescribedas‘handsome’or‘dashing’.Invariably,becausethey
lackimagination,theyassumeweareanitem.IexplainthatIlikehim
fartoomuchtocomplicatethingsbyhavingsexwithhim.
Infact,Ilovehim.HeisoneofthethreepeopleIloveintheworld.I
lovemymotherinano-nonsense,non-demonstrativekindofway.AndI
loveIssie.
IssieandImetatUni.Inherfirsttermshereadbiology,then
chemistryandfinallychemicalengineering.Itwasn’tsomuchthatshe’d
finallyfoundhervocation,it’sjustthathertutorwouldn’thearof
anotherchangeofdirection.Issieisfrighteninglyintelligentand
alarminglyoptimistic.It’sanunusualcombination,whichlargelyleaves
herdissatisfied.She’salittletallerthanmostwomenare(fivefootnine)
andalittlethinner(UKsizeten),achievedthroughtheconstant
fidgetingratherthangymvisits.Thereforeshe’sslimbutuntoned.She
bewailsherwobblyupperarmsandpotbellybuthasn’t,inthefifteen
yearsI’veknownher,everseriouslyconsideredstomachcrunchesor
liftingweights(unlessyoucountcarryingheavyshoppingbags).She’sa
naturalblonde:eyelashesandbrowsproveit.Thereforeshedoesn’ttan
buthasasprinklingoffrecklesonher(wide)noseand(slim)shoulders.