10 polite reminders from a football coach
to pushy parents
This weekend will see tens of thousands of kids across the
country kicking off their season. Before parents start barking
from the touchline, one coach offers up some home truths
Parents take note:
grassroots football is about kids having fun. So keep quiet! Photograph:
Christopher Thomond
The international break is over, the millionaires are back ensconced in
their clubs – and around the country tens of thousands of children are
ready to kick off the season at the other end of the footballing spectrum:
the grassroots. One coach, who has asked to remain anonymous, offers
up 10 pre-season home truths to parents.
1) Quiet, please
“Noooo! Not there. Gordon, bloody well get rid of it … you can't play
about with your spreadsheet there. Just email it. NOW! Remember,
nothing fancy. Just get rid.” Does your boss stand menacingly near your
desk shouting at you when you're doing your job? If he does, do you
enjoy it, feel inspired, creative and ready to perform at your best? No,
thought not. With this in mind, I'd dearly love it if you could refrain from
roaring from the sidelines at little Billy when he's trying to have fun with
his friends. He's only eight. It really doesn't help. Ask him if you don't
believe me.
2) I'm a volunteer
I know the annual club registration fee has gone up a tenner. And yes, I
am wearing new boots. But I can assure you the two are not linked.
When I'm not doing my job – yes, coaching is but a (mostly) joyful hobby
for me – I am simply a willing, unpaid volunteer at an increasingly hardpressed grassroots football club committed to giving children of all
abilities the chance to play – not a one-man footballing equivalent of
Serco out to inveigle a handsome profit from cruelly inflating the
footballing dreams of your child and her friends.
3) I'm not a magician
How can I put this? Just because you stump up the registration fee all
too readily (after all, as you say, it's only a fraction of the annual fees at
the prep school) that doesn't mean you've bought the right to mess the
coach and the other players about by turning up with little Gianfranco to
training or matches whenever you feel like it. My training sessions are
planned carefully; the arrival activities, challenges, targets and games
are not merely a series of random events; they're actually planned. And,
without going all educationalist on you, I'm a big believer in constructivist
learning. Each session is linked thematically to build on the players'
knowledge, understanding and skills in a thoughtful fashion, always with
the goal of developing the players' skills across the FA's “four corner
model”: technical, physical, psychological and social. All of this just
might explain why, on several occasions, you've complained to me that
Gianfranco isn't feeling “a vital part of the team” or perhaps improving his
skills quite as much as you'd hoped. I'll repeat: I AM NOT A MAGICIAN!
HE NEEDS TO PRACTICE. That means turning up every week, not just
when you feel like it.
4) A chip off the old block
I'm really sorry to tell you this but your child's clearly got your gene for
insufficiently honed coordination. With you it's getting your basic timing,
application and demeanour in order (do you ever – I mean ever – even
so much as glance at my numerous emails and texts?); with him it's
ABCs, proprioception and ball mastery (which I'm working on with him all
the time). So, as mentioned above, it's a teeny bit unrealistic to expect
me to transform him osmotically into Lionel Messi after half a dozen
sessions (only half of which he actually attended, all the time wearing
hideously unsuitable running trainers and swigging from a can of
Monster the size of his leg). So let's strike a deal: you agree to reply to
my emails and make sure your son turns up to training suitably attired
and not caffeined up and I'll continue coaching him (even though he
turns like the QE2).
5) A winning mentality
I know little John's a born winner. He clearly takes after you doesn't he?
And I know he was named after your role model. As was his little sister,
Terri. You've told me that. A few times actually. I also appreciate their
uncle played a few games for Wealdstone reserves in the season they
cruised to the Gola league title back in the day. So you clearly know your
football. It's just, well, this is coaching, not playing. Or watching. And
when we're dealing with children – not adults – we have to think carefully
about whether we demand that the players show you how much they
really want to win the league - and, of course, the big shiny trophy that
goes with it. Overemphasis on what us coaches call extrinsic motivation
(pressure to win a match, the threat of punishment etc as opposed to
intrinsic motivation) can actually have a negative impact on the child's
motivation and self-esteem. Some studies link too much external
pressure to stress, burnout and giving up the game, especially among
players in the professional academies. The FA also surveyed thousands
of kids playing grassroots football a couple of years ago and found the
most common reasons for playing were, not winning the league or
trophies, but trying their hardest, because it's fun, it's a great game and
they love it.
So I'm not saying regaling children with that infamous winner's aphorism
“show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser" is always wrong.
Actually, yes I am. Again, just keep quiet. Please.
6) A valuable lesson
“Why on Earth did you play him there? He can't play there. He's not a
defender. He's a forward; he only wants to play as a striker; he'll get you
30 goals a season from there.” But he's only seven years old. Your son's
clearly good at maths too – I suppose it's all that counting practice
keeping track of his goals tally – but would you instruct the teachers in
his primary school to excuse him from literacy lessons so he can focus
on becoming a mathematician instead? No, so give him a chance to
breathe, let him develop new skills and you'll be surprised at how good
he can become. In relation to point five, I really want him to be
successful too. A winner, yes. But not just in an under 9s match where,
frankly, he's simply much faster, stronger and older than most of the
other players. (The wonders of a September birthday.) But this won't
necessarily last. I'm trying to provide the players with the full range of
skills necessary to win when they're 15, 18 and 21.
7) Fancy a promotion?
You know when I say I'm not interested in league tables … I actually
really, truly mean it. It creates a race to the bottom with 10-year-olds,
where long-term player development is relegated at the expense of
hoofball, ranting parents and pressure to win at all costs. And no, I don't
see it as an infringement of our human rights that the FA is finally
scrapping them for all under-10s and younger from this season. But hey,
I do find it intriguing the way you and Cristiano's dad, Eric, tried manfully
last season to keep track of all the other teams' results to work out your
own league tables. I sort of appreciate your initiative guys but did you
really need to try to publish it on Facebook? Don't get me wrong though:
I'm with them on the league tables but I'm no apologist for the FA. I see
the new Wembley as a citadel of profligacy as much as the next person.
And I'm the one practically remortgaging the house to complete my
coaching licence CPD each year by shelling out for coaching courses.
But you know, there's only so much we can do to change the FA. Back
here at the grassroots, however, I'd love it if you could direct your efforts
towards something a little more meaningful. Like, say, one of the many
admin/committee roles at the club: there's communications, secretary,
treasurer, welfare officer (actually, maybe leave this one for someone
else), pitch coordinator - take your pick. Or you could just volunteer to
fetch and carry equipment to and from training. Or what about linesman
once we start playing offside? I'm not picky. Hell, we can't afford to be
choosy in grassroots football.
8) Why the big rush?
And I know you're desperate to move your child up from the local pro
club's community £5 a session gravy-train dream-building “development”
sessions to the intermediate/advanced/demi-semi-elite “beyonddevelopment” squad and eventually get the golden ticket – a slot in the
full-blown junior millionaire elite “over-developed” squad because it's
YOUR lifelong ambition – yeah, I get all that. And you want it all done
before he's in secondary school. But can you please explain why? While
you're thinking about it, please try not to relive your life through your
child.
9) This is serious
Let me say this again: I'm not a childminder; I'm a qualified coach.
Experienced too. Keen and passionately interested in helping the
children fall in love with the game and reach their potential in a safe, funfilled environment. Got that. Good. Now please let me let them play.
They're children. That's what they love to do. They take play very, very
seriously.
10) Bring on the dream team
Let's end on a positive note. You know that little schtick I do occasionally
about the importance of fostering a growth mindset with the players
(“mistakes are learning opportunities” etc)? Well, I genuinely believe we
can be the living embodiment of all of this. Yes, you and me. Parents &
Coach United. We'll both make mistakes. Even you, honest. But imagine
the impact we could have together if all parents trusted the coach,
backed him or her up and reassured your child by simply saying to them
after a match: “I loved watching you play. It was great fun.” This would
allow them to move on from mistakes and bask in the warm, characterenhancing glow brought about by riding on the physically, technically,
socially and psychologically challenging rollercoaster that is playing a
competitive team sport; if you could just remind yourself that we both
want them to become the best player they can possibly be, we could
create an environment for them to succeed unencumbered by a crippling
fear of failure. Just try it. Go on, please. It might be tough at first but just,
you know, do your best.
importance of fostering a growth mindset (see below)
Secret to success: practice, not talent
Top performers in all walks of life succeed not through natural ability but through
perseverance and 'the growth mindset'
Matthew Syed
The Guardian, Saturday 4 June 2011
Driving force: Gary Player said: 'The more I practise, the luckier I get'. Photograph: James
Benwell/Action Images
Most of us have been on the receiving end of an inspirational speech. Usually it is delivered
by a former Olympian at a company conference and is all about the big M: motivation. It is
sometimes eloquently delivered, and often fun to listen to, but most people leave the room
wondering how 30 minutes of biographical information about a 7ft rowing champion is going
to help them back in the office.
Nobody would dispute that motivation is a key driver of performance, but this knowledge
does not help many of us understand where it comes from. Listening to a sportsperson
speaking about their own personal journey may be uplifting, but how is it going to leave a
lasting and usable legacy in terms of how you approach your job? It is almost insulting to
think it could.
It is not anecdotes we need, so much as a science of performance, underlying principles that
help unlock the question of why some people work hard and excel, while others don't; why
some are committed to what they are doing while others exist in a state of semi-detachment.
It is a question with ramifications not just for business but for education. And, fortunately, the
answers are beginning to emerge.
To see how, we need to take a step back and ask a deeper question: where does excellence
come from? For a long time, it was thought that the answer hinged, in large part, upon talent.
Hard work may be important, but if you don't have the ability, you are never going to become
top class. It is the notion that high-level performers have excellence encoded in their DNA.
It turns out that this point of view is mistaken. Dozens of studies have found that high flyers
across all disciplines learn no faster than those who reach lower levels of attainment – hour
after hour, they improve at almost identical rates. The difference is simply that high achievers
practise for more hours. Further research has shown that when students seem to possess a
particular gift, it is often because they have been given extra tuition at home.
This tallies with evidence in business, too. In 2001, General Electric launched a study of the
best performing companies worldwide – those that had grown much faster than the economy
for many years and had produced excellent returns for shareholders. What did they have in
common? According to Fortune Magazine: "The key trait the study found was that these
companies valued 'domain experience' in managers – extensive knowledge of the company's
field."
As Jeff Immelt, the chief executive of General Electric, put it: "The most successful parts of
the business are places were leaders have stayed in place a long time. The places where we've
churned people, like reinsurance, are where you will find we've failed."
The question of talent versus practice/experience would not matter much if it was merely
theoretical. But it is much more than that. It influences the way we think, feel and the way we
engage with our world. And it determines our motivation.
Lack of incentive
To see how, consider an employee who believes success is all about talent – this is known as
the "fixed mindset". Why would they bother to work hard? If they have the right genes, won't
they just cruise to the top? And if they lack talent, well, why bother at all? And who can
blame someone for having this kind of attitude, given the underlying premise?
If, on the other hand, they really believe that practice trumps talent – the "growth mindset" –
they will persevere. They will see failure as an opportunity to adapt and grow. And, if they
are right, they will eventually excel. What we decide about the nature of talent, then, could
scarcely be more important.
Businesses often suppose that financial incentives are the primary driver of motivation, but
this is not supported by the evidence. Monetary inducements can, indeed, make a significant
difference, but mindset is more important.
This insight was first demonstrated by Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford
University in a now famous experiment in 1978. She took 150 students and gave them a
questionnaire to identify their beliefs about talent. She divided those with the fixed mindset
(those who believe that talent or intelligence is by and large determined by genes) from those
with the growth mindset (those who believe intelligence is transformable).
The students were then given a series of 12 problems: the first eight were relatively easy
while the remaining four were considerably more difficult. As the students struggled to solve
the problems, two different patterns emerged.
Dweck described the students in the fixed mindset group when they came up against the
tough puzzles: "Maybe the most striking thing about this group was how quickly they began
to denigrate their abilities and blame their intelligence for the failures, saying things like 'I
guess I am not very smart', 'I never did have a good memory' and 'I'm no good at things like
this'.
"Two-thirds of them showed a clear deterioration in their strategies, and more than half
lapsed into completely ineffective strategies. In short, the majority of students in this group
abandoned, or became incapable of deploying the effective strategies they actually had in
their repertoire." And the kids with the growth mindset? Dweck said: "We saw that the
students in the fixed mindset group blamed their intelligence when they hit failure. What did
the students in the growth mindset group blame when they hit failure? The answer, which
surprised us, was that they did not blame anything. They didn't focus on reasons for the
failures. In fact, they didn't even consider themselves to be failing.
"How did they perform? In line with their optimism, more than 80% maintained or improved
the quality of their strategies during the difficult problems. A full quarter of the group
actually improved. They taught themselves new and more sophisticated strategies for
addressing the new and more difficult problems. A few of them even solved the problems that
were supposedly beyond them."
This is not merely surprising; it is extraordinary. Just to reiterate: this schism in performance
had nothing to do intelligence and nothing to do with incentives. Indeed, Dweck actually
made sure all the students were equally incentivised by offering gifts they had personally
selected.
Instead, the gap in performance was opened up by their respective mindsets. Those who held
the belief that abilities are transformable through effort not only persevered but actually
improved when confronted with difficulties; those labouring under the talent myth, on the
other hand, regressed into a state of psychological enfeeblement.
Why such a striking difference? Consider for a moment what was going on in the minds of
the two groups. Both groups understood that the test was measuring their intelligence or
talent. So far, so good. But those in the fixed mindset had a further belief: that their
intelligence is set in stone and there is little room for personal development.
That, of course, is the defining feature of the fixed mindset. Is it any wonder, therefore, that
they interpreted failure as calamitous; that it saps creativity and undermines performance; that
they will do anything to avoid challenges, even when they might be useful?
These results are not limited to youngsters; they have been replicated with university
students, sportsmen, business leaders, and even systems engineers at Nasa. The growth
mindset not only predicts motivation and performance highlights but other key indicators,
too.
Managers with a fixed mindset, for example, are less able to recognise changes in employee
performance and are disinclined to coach employees on how to improve their performance
(why would they bother, if they believe that ability levels are fixed?) A growth mindset
positively predicts managers' perceived fairness in dealing with employees, which is critical
in enticing employees to identify with their work and commit themselves to it.
So, how to create a growth mindset within an organisation? Interventions which have
presented participants with the powerful evidence of how excellence derived from
perseverance – which explains the possibility of personal transformation – has had a dramatic
impact on motivation and performance. When this is allied with clearly identifiable pathways
from shop floor to top floor, so that employees can see the route ahead, these results are
strengthened further.
Businesses that focus on recruiting external "talent" with "the right stuff", on the other hand,
and who neglect the cultivation of existing personnel, foster the fixed mindset. A rank-andyank appraisal system is also damaging, because it suggests that the abilities of those ranked
the lowest cannot be developed. Many would argue that these outdated techniques provide
the underlying cultural explanation for the collapse of Enron in 2001.
In short, an ethos constructed upon the potential for personal transformation is the underlying
psychological principle driving high performance. It is an insight that is not merely deeply
relevant to business, but to any organisation interested in unlocking human potential.
The power of the growth mindset in sport
Sports science has long focused on the question of why some young athletes are more
motivated than others. Why do some put in the hours, while others regard it as a bit of a
chore? For a long time words such as "hunger" or "drive" were used. But careful study has
shown it turns on mindset.
The Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy, which has produced more than a dozen grand slam
champions, is built on this guiding principle. It is its published creed, which has to be signed
by all residents at the club: "Every endeavour pursued with passion produces a successful
outcome, regardless of the result. For it is not about winning or losing – rather, the effort put
forth in producing the outcome."
The same is true of the British Olympic Team, which won so many gold medals at the
Olympics in Beijing. Here is Peter Keane, the sports scientist who masterminded the success:
"I am convinced that world-class performance emerges from mindset. Many of our greatest
cyclists did not start out with obvious natural advantages, but they transformed themselves
through application.
"Perhaps the key task of any institution is to encourage the adoption of a growth mindset.
When that kind of philosophy becomes embedded in the culture, the consequences can be
dramatic."
Matthew Syed is the author of Bounce: the Myth of Talent and the Power of Practice