ACUI National Conference
Chicago 2011
FROM BYSTANDER TO ALLY
Joanne Rafferty
Wesleyan University
Goals of the Program
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Learn about the Pyramid of Hate, a model
which reveals how bias and prejudice can
grow into discrimination and violence.
Discuss and share real examples of the
roles people play in prejudice and hate on
campus.
Help participants understand the specific
role of being an ally and how it relates to
their position.
Develop strategies to be an effective ally
through the Pyramid of Alliance.
Pyramid of Hate
Genocide
Violence
Criminal
The deliberate,
systematic
extermination
of an entire people
Acts of Violence
Riots Assault Murder
Vandalism Terrorism Rape
Lynching Arson Desecration
Rape Assassination Bombing
Hate
Civil
Acts of Discrimination
Housing, Educational, Employment
Discrimination Harassment Social Exclusion
Prejudice
Acts of Prejudice
Scapegoating Social Avoidance Ridicule
De-humanization Slurs/Name-calling
Jokes
Acts of Bias
Rumors Stereotyping Expressing Antagonism
Discussing feelings with like-minded friends
•Source: Anti-Defamation League
NonCriminal
Incident
What Role Do You Play?
TARGET
PERPETRATOR
BYSTANDER
ALLY
OUCH! - HOW TO SPEAK UP
AGAINST STEREOTYPES
ALLY STRATEGIES
Strategy 1:
Assume Good Intent
& Explain Impact
I know you mean well, but that hurts.
Assume good intent – assume the other person is a
decent human being. There are effective ways to
speak up without attacking someone. “I know you
were kidding, but what you said really hurt.”
Strategy 2:
Ask a Question
You can change the outcome of a situation
through the use of a non-blaming question. The
question must be sincere and open-ended.
Refrain from questions that judge or entrap.
“What do you mean?”
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t think I heard you correctly.
What did you say?”
Strategy 3:
Interrupt and Redirect
Change the direction of the conversation
abruptly without soliciting further conversation.
This works well when someone begins to tell a
joke that you suspect will be derogatory.
“Let’s not go there.”
“Let’s not go down that path…”
Strategy 4:
Broaden to Universal Behavior
Next time someone attributes a trait to one
particular group, consider broadening the
description to universal behavior. Try to show
that it is a human trait, not limited to a
stereotyped group.
“I think that applies to everyone.”
“I don’t think that’s a ______, thing. Other
people do that.”
Strategy 5:
Make It Individual
While a certain behavior or characteristic may
be true of an individual, it is not necessarily true
of everyone in the group. The goal is to break
through the thought process of clumping people
together in stereotypes.
“Are you speaking of someone in particular?”
“Do you mean all ____ or someone in particular?”
Strategy 6:
Say OUCH!
Ouch, that hurt.
Ouch communicates a lot with a little effort.
It says, “Your words had a negative
impact on me.”
Adapted with permission from Leslie C. Aguilar, Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts (Flower Mound,
TX: The Walk the Talk Company, 2006). © Leslie C. Aguilar
Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts
WITH A PARTNER:
Share a past experience when
you could have used one of the
Ouch! Strategies and didn’t.
Explain how you did react and
how you might handle the
situation differently today using
one of the OUCH! strategies.
Ask a
Question
“What do
you mean?”
Assume Good Intent
and Explain Impact:
“I know you mean
well, but that hurts.”
Interrupt and
Redirect
“Let’s not go
there.”
Remember
Broaden to Universal
these
Human Behavior
OUCH! “I think that applies to
everyone”
Strategies…
Say
“Ouch!”
“Ouch, that
hurt!”
Make It
Individual
“Are you
speaking of
someone in
particular?”
Pyramid of Alliance
Acts of
COMBATING
Genocide
Acts of
COMBATING
Violence
Acts of COMBATING
Discrimination
Acts of COMBATING
Prejudice and Bigotry
Acts of COMBATING Bias
Strategies for Combating
Acts of Bias
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Carefully review all posters,
flyers and letters for noninclusive language and/or
images.
Interrupt rumors, jokes and
stereotyping even when there is
no one from the “target” group
present.
Strategies for Combating
Acts of Prejudice
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Be an ally. Say “Ouch” and
educate!
Seek out opportunities to
educate yourself, your friends
and your staff.
Strategies for Combating
Acts of Discrimination
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Write or call your local, state, or
national government
representatives.
Avoid benefiting from discrimination.
Sometimes we may get privileges or
special treatment at the expense of
someone else. Stay aware and
challenge this when it happens.
Strategies for Combating
Acts of Violence
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Organize a community candle
lighting vigil in honor of the victims
of violence or as a way to symbolize
the community’s support of the
targeted individuals or community.
Contribute money or organize a
fundraiser to support the targeted
individual/group or the
organization(s) that assist them.
Strategies for Combating
Acts of Genocide
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Donate money to and/or
volunteer with Human Rights
organizations.
Create or bring in programs that
educate people about current
and historical examples of
genocide.
Questions / Discussion