STERNBERG’S THEORY
LOVE TRIANGLE
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Robert Sternberg (b.1949)
• American psychologist Robert Sternberg
wanted to distinguish between romantic
love and mere friendship.
• After interviewing hundreds of men and
women he determined that romantic love
has three aspects: Passion, Intimacy, and
Commitment.
COMPONENTS OF RELATIONSHIPS
1. INTIMACY =The friendship or specialness of the
relationship. The feelings of closeness,
bondedness, connectedness, trust, and
friendship in the relationship.
2. PASSION =The excitement or energy of the
relationship. The feelings of physical attraction,
romance, and arousal (particularly sexual
arousal) in the relationship.
3. COMMITMENT =The “business aspect” of the
relationship. This includes all the shared
investments, or the “history,” of the relationship,
such as decisions, experiences, and adjustments.
• Passion tends to develop very quickly in
relationships, followed by a gradual
deterioration over time.
• Intimacy tends to increase somewhat
quickly at first, then tapers off, growing
more slowly for a time before finally
leveling off.
• Commitment always starts at ground zero
and increases over time for the duration of
the relationship.
8 POSSIBLE LOVE RELATIONSHIPS
• Intimacy, passion and commitment are the warm,
hot and cold vertices of Sternberg’s love triangle.
• These 3 components of love can be viewed as
comprising the 3 sides of a triangle, with
Commitment as the base, and Passion and
Intimacy comprising the upper 2 sides.
• Depending on how much of each of the 3
components is present, the sides of the triangle
are often unequal. For example, in a brand new
relationship, Passion is likely to be the longest
side of the triangle while the Intimacy and
Commitment sides are likely to be substantially
shorter, thus creating an isosceles triangle.
EIGHT FORMS OF LOVE
• Alone and in combination they give rise to
8 possible kinds of love relationships.
1. Nonlove:
• All Sides Absent (No
Passion, Intimacy or
Commitment).
• Basically, this type of
relationship is of just an
acquaintance.
2. Liking:
• Intimacy Only (No Passion
or Commitment).
• Feelings of closeness,
connectedness, and bond.
• Can be summed up as
having intimacy with one
another, feeling close, &
trusting one another.
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3. Infatuation:
P
• Passion Only (No Intimacy
or Commitment).
• This tends to be a
superficial relationship that
is one-sided, where the
couple are temporarily gaga over one another i.e.
“whirlwind romance.”
4. Empty love:
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• Commitment Only (No
Passion or Intimacy)
• This is most often an older
relationship where the
passion and intimacy have
died…like “falling out of
love.”
5. Romantic love:
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P
• Intimacy & Passion (No
Commitment).
• This can be a blossoming
relationship where the couple feel
like friends but nothing more i.e.
friends with benefits.
• Hooking up with your close friend
without expecting anything i.e.
summer fling.
• As experiences grow with one
another, this type of love may
develop Commitment.
6. Fatuous love:
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• Passion & Commitment (No
Intimacy).
• This is a feeling of love because
the couple wants to be in
love…but they really have little in
common.
• This type rarely works.
Emotional core is missing which
is necessary to sustain intimacy.
Example:
Whirlwind marriage
7. Companionate love:
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• Intimacy & Commitment (No
Passion).
• Again, this usually occurs in
older relationships where
the couple remain best
friends, but no longer feel
passion for one another;
might say that they ‘lost the
spark’.
• This type of love can still be
very satisfying and longlasting.
8. Consummate love:
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P
• Also known as complete love.
• All three elements of the triangle come
together in a relationship.
• This is difficult but not impossible to
achieve.
• Perfect relationship with strong
emotional, sexual, and mental
connections
• Most relationships strive for it but only
very special relationships get here.