LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
OF BRIARGROVE,
First of all, my sincere apologies for invading your
child’s Wednesday folder. In case you missed this pitch
because you were too consumed with finding the latest
spelling results or the XtraMath password that you lost,
I wanted to make sure you had every opportunity to
see and hear this very important message. By the time
you read to the very end, you will hopefully agree that
this is in fact LIFE CHANGING.
Before we get too deep into this, I’d like to introduce
myself, in case we have not met. My name is Ryan Buck,
and I am the 2016-17 Dad’s Club President. Perhaps you
or your child’s father (depending on who is reading this)
has attended a Dad’s Club meeting, helped build the
haunted house or flipped some burgers for the carnival,
sold a raffle ticket or 2, or failed miserably at kicking
field goals at the auction. If not, you may very well know
nothing about the Dad’s Club or THE most important
piece of Briargrove swag available today, and possibly
ever. I am talking about the Briargrove hat!
The hat idea was conceived by esteemed Briargrove
dad Ryan Clampitt, who endured a brave, hatless field
trip in the fall where his face was exposed to more sun
than he cares to ever speak about again. The terrible
experience was followed by a phone call to me, where
he succinctly said, “Hey man, why don’t we have hats?”
I paused for about 5 seconds, perplexed and confused,
and could only come up with, “I don’t know, Ryan. I just
don’t know…” So, the idea was broadcast at the next
Dad’s Club meeting. “Who wants to help with this?”
was the call to action, deep into the very full agenda of
important Dad’s Club business. There was a clamoring
in the audience, somewhat like that scene in the original
Jaws movie when the group of townsfolk and elected
officials were gathered in a room, at a loss of how to
catch the vicious shark that had been eating children and
men, and were all talking loudly over one another, each
trying to be heard. Then, just like Quint the shark hunter
did in the movie, another esteemed dad, David Wise, ran
his fingernails down the chalkboard to silence the men in
the room. As the room grew quiet, David said while biting
into an apple, still seated, and quite profoundly, “I’ll build
this school a hat. It will be the finest hat you’ve ever
seen. In fact, I’ll build two. This is my purpose!”
So build he did, and a week later, the Briargrove Trucker
Hat, and Cloth Hat (aka “Not-So-Trucker”) were born.
Now they are available, and we are streamlining the
distribution model and increasing the marketing efforts,
all with the goal of hatting as many Briargrove parents as
humanly possible. The proceeds from the sale of these
hats will go towards fully outfitting the wonderful Mr.
Nave with an audio visual setup in the cafeteria that is
more fitting for his talents and impact on all of our kids.
The project is underway, and will be completed by the
end of the school year!
I realize that most of you have been sufficiently inspired
by this story and have already skipped to the end where
you can fill out your order and be on your merry way, but
in case you are still looking for more, well here it is…
You may be saying “When am I going to wear that hat?
I’m a visual guy, and these words aren’t doing it for me.
Why do I need this hat? I have hats. Why do I need
another hat!” All very relevant, yet silly questions. Here’s
why you need this hat:
WALKING WITH THE DOG?
WHY DO IT HATLESS?
CLOSING A REAL
ESTATE DEAL?
NERVOUS ABOUT A BIG
PRESENTATION AT WORK?
TROUBLE SLEEPING?
MOM HAVING A BAD
HAIR DAY?
THE BRIARGROVE HAT WILL GIVE
YOU THE NEGOTIATING EDGE!
WEARING THE BRIARGROVE HAT
TO BED IS LIKE TAKING AMBIEN
WITHOUT THE MORNING
AFTER GROGGINESS!
THE BRIARGROVE HAT
WILL GIVE YOU CONFIDENCE!
THROW ON THE BRIARGROVE HAT
FOR DISASTER MITIGATION AND
HIGH FASHION!
PLAYING BASKETBALL
WITH THE KIDS?
THE BRIARGROVE HAT WILL GIVE
YOU 3 MORE INCHES ON YOUR
VERTICAL!
Now that you are on board and it’s not a question of “will” you order a hat, it’s
“how many” hats will you order, let’s talk about the options:
Both are $15, and both are exceptional. If you would like to pay with cash or
check, please fill out the form below and staple your cash or check to the form.
Otherwise, you can go to the PTO website and purchase via credit card.
http://briargrovepto.com/shop/
SPONTANEOUS
DANCE PARTY?
THE BRIARGROVE HAT WILL MAKE
IT MORE FUN!
Name of Student __________________________
Name of Teacher __________________________
# of “Trucker” hats @$15 ___________________
# of “Not-So-Trucker” hats @$15 ________________
Method of payment (CASH or CHECK) and Total Amount $ _________
Phone Number ______________