Introduction
Good morning. Thanks for being here … I think I can say with a
good deal of confidence … you’ve never heard a relationship
message quite like this one.
I also think it will be very encouraging … and if it’s not … it only means you REALLY NEED this
message.
When describing a Christian man, the bible uses terms like these. They are not exclusive to
men, but they as a package these qualities are commonly descriptive of men. Qualities like:
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Honor
Leadership
Strength
Impact & Legacy
Productive Work
Wealth
I’m not including things like “Character”, “Integrity” and “Serving” because those qualities apply
equally to men and women.
Today we’re going to take a somewhat different look at the
relationships in the life of a man … and how our approach to those
relationships can have a significant impact on our lives for the rest
of eternity. By this I’m referring to things like:
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The level of honor we’ll have in eternity
The level of leadership we’ll have in eternity
The impact we’ll have in eternity
The work we’ll do in eternity
The wealth we’ll have in eternity
When considering these qualities, if you think eternity will be a total do-over and we’ll all begin
at the exact same starting line … like you and I, Billy Graham and Mother Teresa are totally
equal in terms of position, honor and wealth in eternity … I’m sorry to disappoint you.
Hopefully, our conversation today will help us all position ourselves before when that day
arrives.
We probably need to clarify a few things about life on the other side before we proceed.
How many here feel like they have a pretty good grasp on what a typical day in eternity will be
like? The Bible actually gives us a bunch of clues … so as foundation for our main point today,
let’s look at some of those clues.
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Let me be clear … I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on finer points of life in eternity, but
we can discuss some of the basic things about life in eternity that most theologians who study
this topic agree on.
1. LIFE ON EARTH vs LIFE IN ETERNITY
Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You
are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then
vanishes away. James 4:14
The Father loves the Son and has given everything over to him.
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life … John 3:35-36
Most of us probably get the main “eternity” insight here.
When talking about our life here on earth. the Bible uses terms like: a vapor, a breath, a mist, a
wild flower that blossoms in the morning and has wilted away by afternoon. In other words …
it’s short.
I’m starting to figure that our personally. Yesterday, I was in twenties and just starting out, this
morning I woke up and I’m in my sixties. What the heck happened last night? Any of your older
guys know what I’m talking about?
But, Jesus promised to those who believe in Him, ETERNAL LIFE. There are actually TWO things
I’d like to point out here.
First is the word “ETERNAL”.
In contrast to words like “vapor”, “mist” and “breath”, eternal means a long, long time … as in
forever. So, one clear distinction between earthly life and eternal life is that one last a whole lot
longer.
The second word I’d like to point out is “LIFE”.
As we’ll discuss in the next few minutes, there is far more to our eternal life than ‘disembodied
spirits playing golden harps on clouds’.
When talking about eternity, we often use the term, “after-life”. As in: “from the time I’m
conceived until the day I die” is REAL LIFE … and then, when my REAL LIFE is over and I’ll enter
another state … let’s just call it “After-Life”.
But Jesus describes this “after-life” in strikingly different terms. He said, “I’ve come that you
might have life and have it more abundantly.”
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The Message Translation words it this way: “I came so they can have REAL and ETERNAL LIFE,
more and better life than they ever dreamed of.”
The truth is, when we truly understand eternal life, it would be more accurate to call what
we’re experiencing right now, “BEFORE-LIFE” … and what we’ll experience in eternity as “REAL
LIFE”.
What else do we know about eternity?
2. WE WILL ALL HAVE NEW RESURRECTED BODIES
We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put
on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on
heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.
2 Corinthians 5:2-3
He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into
glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with
which he will bring everything under his control. Philippians 3:21
The Gospels provide some fascinating insights into what our resurrection bodies will be like …
because it showed one resurrection body in action: That was Jesus in His resurrection body.
What can we learn:
Jesus saw, heard, spoke and was understood … He also ate fish with His disciples … and I think
it’s safe to assume he also smelt and tasted the fish too.
He also had the sense of touch and had physical substance because others touched Him and
felt His skin. And nobody seemed weirded-out, like he felt like rubber or something.
So, we’ll maintain our five senses and physical substance.
He also LOOKED like himself, those who knew Him recognized Him immediately. We can
assume that we too will have the same physical features we do now.
Just to be clear … these resurrection bodies will be a much-improved over the current model.
For example, the Bible says they are: imperishable, glorious, powerful and spiritual.
They will never experience sickness, decay, deterioration, or death. I think it’s also safe to
assume they will not age.
Think about it … even Superman had to deal with Kryptonite … there’s no Kryptonite that can
weaken our new resurrection bodies.
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The Bible tells us other things to suggest our resurrection bodies will maintain many similarities
to our earthly bodies. For example, it seems likely we’ll maintain some of our ethnic and
cultural distinctives.
3. THERE WILL BE ETHNICITIES IN ETERNITY
After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude
that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and
language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb.
Revelation 7:9
Can we assume that even as Jesus resurrection body was still recognizable as that of a Jewish
male, that WE will keep our ethnic distinctions? I think YES.
The Apostle John, during his vision of life in eternity reported more than once seeing people
from every “nation, tribe, people and language”.
If he were looking at a crowd of people who were all the exact same color, how could he
provide such a report? Isn’t reasonable to presume these throngs not only had a variety of skin
tones, but also other cultural distinctions to show their nation of origin? And mustn’t John have
also heard multiple languages to make this claim?
The Bible also indicates we’ll know, and be known by, the people we now know on earth. And
while we will be given NEW names, we’ll also KEEP our present earthly names.
Here’s some more great news that should encourage us about Life in Eternity:
4. THERE WILL BE A NEW EARTH AND NEW HEAVENS
But we are looking forward to the new heavens and
new earth he has promised, a world filled with God’s
righteousness. 2 Peter 3:13
Look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth, and
no one will even think about the old ones anymore. Be
glad; rejoice forever in my creation! Isaiah 66.22
Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s
curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward
to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay.
Romans 8:20-21
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There is little debate that there will be a New Heaven AND a New Earth. There is less
agreement about exactly what that New Earth will look and be like.
But in light of the passage from Romans 8 on the screen, it’s would not be unreasonable to
suppose that in much the way our resurrection bodies will be similar to our earthly bodies …
the New Earth will have many similarities to current earth.
There are references in the Bible to indicate the New Earth will have rivers, mountains, cities,
trees, food and fruit of all manner, days, weeks and months, animals, nations and other earthlike similarities. As remarkable as our New Bodies will be, so will the New Earth be.
It’s actually on the New Earth where we’ll live in eternity. Jesus will live there with us, in His
resurrection body. Sometimes we fail to recognize the depths of the sacrifice He made to
redeem us. Jesus didn’t TEMPORARILY become human so He could die on the cross … becoming
human was an eternal decision for Him … so He could live among us for eternity.
This next point will give us some clearer insights in to some of what we’ll be doing on the New
Earth in Eternity.
5. PEOPLE WILL DIFFER IN STATION, AUTHORITY AND HONOR IN ETERNITY
Jesus replied, “I assure you that when the world is made
new and the Son of Man sits upon his glorious throne, you
who have been my followers will also sit on twelve thrones,
judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has
given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or
children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred
times as much in return and will inherit eternal life. But
many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least
important now will be the greatest then.
This verse provides some incredible insight into life in Eternity … and the key point of our lesson
today.
In this passage, Jesus was responding to an question from his 12 disciples. They said “We’ve
given up much to serve you, what do we get in return?”
Note, Jesus didn’t rebuke them for their self-interest. In fact, he told them they would be well
rewarded.
In fact, the 12 disciples are told they will sit on thrones and rule the twelve tribes of Israel.
Obviously, that means many of us on the New Earth will be ruled.
He goes on to assures us that, everyone who sacrifices to serve Him on this earth will be well
rewarded on the New Earth. And the level of the sacrifice determines the level of reward.
To make this point even clearer, Jesus says, some will be great on the New Earth … and some
will be least on the New Earth.
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We’re told we’ll all rule and reign with Christ in eternity … but not all with the same position or
level of authority.
Let’s summarize like this: our actions here during our “vapor-life” will determine our station,
honor, authority and wealth for all eternity.
This is all pretty exciting to think about … unless of course you someone committed to “living
for the moment.”
Because the final point we’re going touch on about life in eternity is the “REAL MOMENT” we
should all be living for: Judgement Day
6. WE WILL ALL FACE TWO JUDGEMENTS
We will all face TWO judgements.
The first, and clearly most crucial, will be the
Judgement of Faith. This is where each of us will
acknowledge whether we accepted Christ’s atoning
death. If we have accepted Christ, then when God
looks at us on Judgment Day, He’ll see His Son’s
sacrifice for us, not our sin.
This is what we call “Salvation”. It is a free gift, to which we can contribute absolutely nothing …
just ACCEPT His gift and RESPECT His gift.
The Judgement of Faith
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift
from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can
boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9
He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He
washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5
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There is however a SECOND judgement … the judgement of works. The Bible indicates that all
believers will stand before the judgement seat of Christ to give an account for every thought,
word and deed done while on earth.
The Judgement of Works
For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will
each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we
have done in this earthly body. 2 Corinthians 5:10
Let me read one other verse that is not on the screen … but it’s amazingly insightful:
But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire
will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a
reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer GREAT loss. The builder will be
saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames. 1 Corinthians 3:10-18
Clearly, how we live our life here on earth matters … our works will NOT affect our salvation,
but they WILL affect our reward.
Another way to word these two judgements is this: The Judgement of Faith determines WHERE
we’ll spend eternity. The Judgement of works, determines HOW we’ll spend eternity.
Just for clarification because we don’t discuss these things often, all who have by faith accepted
Christ sacrifice, are promised a life filled with:
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Joy
Health
Fullness and purpose
Where every tear is washed away
And a life without pain, suffering and death
Those are the rewards of the judgement of faith.
But the second judgement, the Judgement of our works, will determine things like:
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The influence we’ll have in eternity
The authority we’ll have in eternity
The duties we’ll perform in eternity
The wealth we’ll have in eternity
I other words, HOW we live out our lives here on earth
greatly impacts HOW we’ll be living our lives in eternity.
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OK, this will be the end of our mini bible study on life in Eternity. There is SO much more we
could explore … for example, will there be fishing in on the New Earth … will some animals talk
… will there be March Madness … how about technology … there are clues in the Bible to
questions like these. The one thing I’m confident of, is that we’ll all be surprised at what God
has in store for us. And it will definitely be awesome …
But we have discussed enough to grasp that our actions here on earth have eternal
consequences. Now let’s look specifically at eternal significance at how we do relationships
here on earth.
FAITHFULNESS
Let’s begin with our first examination of the eternal impact of
our relationship behaviors. We’ll start with faithfulness. This
is absolutely crucial … especially for husbands, fathers, valued
friendships.
Let me open this theme by reading a story told by Jesus. And please listen with eternity in mind.
Luke 19:11-27
The crowd was listening to everything Jesus said. And because he was nearing Jerusalem, he
told them a story to correct the impression that the Kingdom of God would begin right away.
He said, "A nobleman was called away to a distant empire to be crowned king and then return.
Before he left, he called together ten of his servants and divided among them ten pounds of
silver, saying, 'Invest this for me while I am gone.' But his people hated him and sent a
delegation after him to say, 'We do not want him to be our king.'
"After he was crowned king, he returned and called in the servants to whom he had given the
money. He wanted to find out what their profits were. The first servant reported, 'Master, I
invested your money and made ten times the original amount!'
"'Well done!' the king exclaimed. 'You are a good servant. You have been faithful with the little I
entrusted to you, so you will be GOVERNOR of ten cities as your REWARD.'
"The next servant reported, 'Master, I invested your money and made five times the original
amount.'
"'Well done!' the king said. 'You will be governor over five cities.'
"But the third servant brought back only the original amount of money and said, 'Master, I hid
your money and kept it safe. I was afraid because you are a hard man to deal with, taking what
isn't yours and harvesting crops you didn't plant.'
"'You wicked servant!' the king roared. 'Your own words condemn you. If you knew that I'm a
hard man who takes what isn't mine and harvests crops I didn't plant, why didn't you deposit
my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.'
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"Then, turning to the others standing nearby, the king ordered, 'Take the money from this
servant, and give it to the one who has ten pounds.'
"'But, master,' they said, 'he already has ten pounds!'
"'Yes,' the king replied, 'and to those who use well what they are given, even more will be
given. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. And as
for these enemies of mine who didn't want me to be their king—bring them in and execute
them right here in front of me.'"
I guess the first question we should all ask ourselves is, “Which servant am I in this story.”
Here, Jesus is saying ALL his servants are given valuable assets and He’s demanding a good
return. One servant multiplies the provision ten times. Another five times and one guy got a
zero return.
It is instructive to note that the reward each faithful servant received for being faithful far
exceeded the value of the bags of silver they returned to the King.
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The first received the authority to rule 10 cities for ten bags of silver.
The second authority over 5 cities for 5 bags of silver.
And the last nothing. In fact, even what he began with, 1 bag of silver, was taken away.
Please recognize that even though the last guy was unfaithful with his resources … it didn’t
impact his salvation. He just LOST his reward. It was only the non-Christians who went to Hell.
Here’s one additional verse that reinforces the key point of this story.
Luke 16:10-13
"If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in
little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities. And if you are untrustworthy
about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven? And if you are not
faithful with other people's things, why should you be trusted with things of your own?
On earth, nothing is ours … we are only stewards. Why, because we can’t take anything with us
to Eternity. We die … it stays on earth. In Eternity, God can give us our own stuff, because we’ll
never die … it will always be with us.
Let’s make some applications to our daily lives.
If I were to ask you, “What is the most valuable treasure God has given you to care for?”
If you were thinking straight, you’d say your LIFE … your WIFE … and your CHILDREN. Even if
you’re without a wife or kids, God has still given you a LIFE.
And there are tremendous rewards for our faithfulness with these assets.
Equally important: Being faithful in SMALL things is a BIG, BIG deal … and is the key to obtaining
TRUE riches in eternity.
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What are small things … and why are they so important?
How often have you promised your wife or child you’d do something with them … maybe go to
their ball game, go shopping with them … but allow other things to get in the way.
I recall a situation where someone had agreed to go on a pastoral call with me. The guy
cancelled at the last minute claiming a “work crisis”. So, I went on the pastoral call by
myself. I met with the person and we decided to go to go get a bite. Well, who do you
suppose we ran at the restaurant … the guy who couldn’t make it because of work. He
wasn’t at work after all, he just didn’t want to come.
Yes, it was just a LITTLE lie and totally unnecessary … but, it says something BIG about a man.
And according to Jesus, this little lie will show up on his resume when it comes to leadership
positions in eternity.
Let’s take this discussion a step further and why it’s so critical. No Christian man plans to cheat
on his wife. That’s a HUGE step of unfaithfulness. So how does sexual unfaithfulness occur in a
Christian marriage? It occurs through LITTLE steps of unfaithfulness.
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You glance at some “light” porn on your phone during lunch.
You flirt a little with your office coworker.
You tell your wife you’re working late, but what you really mean is having a couple
drinks after work.
And each little step of dishonesty … leads you closer to the edge of the cliff. Then one day
you’re fool enough to suppose you can jump and not get hurt.
That’s not how it works, because even if you’re wife somehow never finds out. God does and it
will cost you.
Here’s the point: Treat the SMALL things like they are BIG things … and you’ll gain BIG rewards.
If you tell your son, you’ll play catch … turn off the ball game and play catch. You won’t
remember a week from now who won that game anyway … but your son WILL remember for
the rest of his life whether you’re a father who keeps his word or not.
How about other small things?
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Do you ignore the speed limit when driving?
Do you take things from work that “no one will miss anyway”?
Do you fudge on your taxes?
You’re literally saving a few pennies NOW … but costing yourself MILLIONS in ETERNITY.
Here is the key take away from this point: Be faithful and honest in all your SMALL
commitments and responsibilities. If you do, you won’t fail in your BIG commitments and
responsibilities. Plus, you’ll have HUGE rewards waiting for you in Eternity.
Let’s look at another relationship quality that brings BIG eternal returns.
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BE PERFECT LIKE GOD
Luke 6:35-36
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting
nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you
will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to
ungrateful and evil men. "Be merciful, just as your Father
is merciful.
On the surface, this sounds ridiculous. But Jesus clearly commands us to do it. In fact in
Matthew 5:48 it words it exactly that way.
For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors
do the same? "If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do
not even the Gentiles do the same? "Therefore, you are to be perfect, as your heavenly
Father is perfect. Matt 5:43-48
How can anyone be as perfect as God? I don’t think the expectation is perfection … so let’s use
another Bible word. Imitation.
The Apostle Paul actually gives us a wonderful clue in the book of Ephesians. Ephesians 5:1
reads:
Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved
you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
(Ephesians 5:1)
The message Bible words it in an even more understandable manner:
Watch what God does, and then YOU do it, like children who learn proper behavior from
their parents. (Ephesians 5:1, The Message Bible)
It was after reading this passage in the Message translation that I made a clear application to
my life and relationships. It was transformational, so let me word it differently just so you grasp
how I believe it’s meant to be applied.
Honestly examine how God treats YOU … and then do your best to treat OTHERS that same
way. In the verses leading up to this passage, Paul outlines how God treats us. He says to be:
Imitate God and “be GREATLY rewarded”
 Be Kind to one another
 Tender-hearted
 Forgiving each other as God forgives you
 Lay your lives down for one another
 Give Thanks … and by this we mean thanking and
honor the people in our lives.
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Put these behaviors away or “LOSE your inheritance”
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Bitterness, wrath & anger
Clamor, malice & slander
Immorality & impurity
Greed
Filthiness, silly talk & coarse jesting
The top list outlines the attitudes that stockpile eternal rewards. Those who follow the bottom
list, “lose their inheritance.”
Do you treat your wife, children and friends like the top list? Hopefully, most of the time. And if
you have some habits matching the bottom list … stop it for crying out loud.
When we put other down, judge them unfairly, make them the butt of our jokes … we’re
literally taking pages from our inheritance and tearing them.
FATHERS
Let’s apply this “Imitate God” principle to being a father. Even if you are not yet a father … you
can still benefit from this insight and apply it to other relationships.
Matt 18:1-6
At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, "Who
then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
And He called a child to Himself and set him before them,
and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and
become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of
heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of
heaven.
"And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of
these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy
millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”
This passage contains one of the most wonderful promises in the Bible. If we welcome any child
… and I’d suggest, especially our own children … in the same way Jesus would … we are
welcoming Jesus Himself.
What an amazing opportunity. And if it’s in your nature to be a child-receiver … don’t you
sometimes sense God’s presence when you do?
And the key is to “imitating God” … treat your children the exact same way that God treats You.
This doesn’t mean being a good and godly father is easy. It’s not!
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I consider myself a very good and loving father … who made a pile of parenting mistakes.
I didn’t come to the Ephesians 5:1 understanding until well into my parenting years. But it was
single best parenting advice I ever received.
This was especially helpful when it came to disciplining my children … which is clearly a crucial
“dad” responsibility.
As fathers, our goal should be to raise our children to understand God and His ways … and
hopefully lead them into a personal relationship with Him. And the goal of discipline is to help
instruct them in right living.
But the way we discipline can have a dramatic impact on our kids view of their heavenly Father.
Did you notice the verse on the screen also carries one of the most severe warnings in the
entire bible? Let’s not let anything in our fathering is creating a roadblock to our children’s
faith. I don’t think any of us want to tie an anchor around your neck jump off a Bridge.
When I started applying this “imitate God” principle in discipline situations with my children, I
found:
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God was more patient with me than I’d been with my kids
God was more understanding with me than I’d been with my kids
His discipline was more instructive with me than I’d been with my kids
He had less intensity with me than I’d been with my kids
No two parents discipline their children alike. And no to kids are alike either … so I’m not
suggesting there is one perfect way to discipline. But let me offer some personal insights to
disciplining that might be worth considering.
When our children are very young, we often associate pain -- like a spanking -- with
disobedience. Especially, when it comes to unsafe disobedience like playing with a hot burner,
running out into the street … or even attitudes of outright rebellion.
But as our children get older, our approach to discipline should change, too. Naturally, we want
our kids to get good grades, apply themselves and love God. We also want them to avoid drugs,
pre-marital sex, dating weirdos …
But the truth is, we can’t protect them from every poor choice.
And even if we could … should we?
Did God prevent you and I from making bad choices? He certainly could have, but he didn’t.
Why? Here is a perspective to consider:
What if you allow your children enough freedom to make some mistakes while he or she is still
at home?
Mistakes are part of growing up … your children are going to make some. They may even make
some tragic mistakes.
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But isn’t it better to allow them to make some manageable mistakes while still living at home,
rather than say, while they are away college or living on their own for the first time.
If they are at home, you can with patience and understanding, help them recover from their
mistakes … and hopefully learn. If they are away and older, it’s more difficult.
And let me throw is an insight just for free: parental scolding isn’t that helpful.
God in His wisdom has so designed life that the most of the time, our mistakes include enough
intrinsic pain to create a teachable moment. You should certainly ask questions to help them
think through their mistakes … but rants tend to be more about feeling sorry for ourselves
rather than helping our children.
Unless God treats you far differently than me … the response I typically get when He’s
disciplining me … patience, understanding, grace and instruction.
HUSBANDS
1 Peter 3:7-10
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an
understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is
a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the
grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic,
brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but
giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a
blessing.
Twice in the passage, the Apostle Peter makes reference to “rewards” for treating our wives as
God desires.
One reward comes on this side of eternity: having our prayers “unhindered”.
The second reward is received on the other side of eternity: Inheriting blessings.
How does God expect us to treat our wives? He spells it out:
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With understanding, as with someone weaker
Show her honor as a fellow heir
Harmonious
Sympathetic
Kindhearted
Humble in spirit
Respond to an insult with a blessing
Living harmoniously, being kindhearted and responding to a perceived insult or criticism with
warmth, may not always be EASY to do … but at least we understand the concepts.
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But how about recognizing her as a “weaker vessel” and “showing her honor as a fellow heir”?
How do apply these concepts to our marriages?
Let me offer a couple thoughts, beginning with the “weaker vessel” portion.
There are two ways to understand weakness … both probably had a greater impact in the early
world when this verse was written than they do today … but it still applies.
Weaker can mean “physically weaker”. Typically, a man is physical bigger, stronger, has a
deeper voice is pumping testosterone. This can often put a woman at a disadvantage.
For example, if a husband says “Look, I’ve made my decision and that’s final. Let’s move on!”
That often puts an end to the discussion. Not with every woman of course … but with most.
Now just for drill, what would happen if your wife said, “This conversation is over. We’re doing
it my, not get over it!”
Wouldn’t most of us say, “Hey, not so fast.” Why? Because we’re not intimidated by the “little”
woman.
If some of this dynamic is happening in your home, remember, God views her as a weaker
vessel. He’s not happy if we “muscle” her. Yes, you may be bigger and stronger than SHE is, but
God is way bigger and stronger than YOU.
We can’t allow our God-given maleness to be used to disadvantage our wives.
Weaker can also mean disadvantaged culturally. Again, that’s changing in our nation, but even
in the Christian world, the male headship principle can be misinterpreted to suggest that: as the
head, we men are smarter, the final decision maker and basically, a little more superior.
I wouldn’t call that “honoring your wife as a fellow heir of grace”.
So how does headship and honoring her as a co-equal work in practice? Here is an approach we
use in our home:
I recognize that just as God has gifted ME … He has equally gifted my WIFE … and most often, in
totally differing areas.
This means that when we honor each other’s strengths, we are far better than if I always put
my male ideas and approach ahead of hers.
For example, I generally manage money and tend to think in longer terms than Willa … thus the
eternity message today. She on the other hand, has far superior skills and understanding when
it comes to relationships and particularly parenting.
More than once I’ve said, “I’m going to go along with you on this parenting decision because
you are typically right … but this time, I’m pretty sure you got it wrong. You’ll see.”
Well, turns out there wasn’t anything to see … she nailed it.
And because I fully respect Willa as a co-equal, she has an equal voice in EVERY decision. And so
do I. And because I deeply respect her perspective, she deeply respects mine.
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Sometimes, if we can’t totally come to an agreement, we’ll go with the one who feels most
passionate. And on the rare occurrence when we make an unsuccessful decision … we don’t
look for blame. We’re still on the same page and we trust our next decision will be better.
Mutual respect means taking mutual responsibility for problems and solutions.
CONCLUSION
Let’s conclude this way. What we do here in this “vapor-life” eternally shapes our REAL LIFE
which is yet to come and last forever. There are things God fashioned deep into the heart of a
man. We mentioned some at the beginning of this workshop.
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Honor
Leadership
Strength
Impact & Legacy
Productive Work
Wealth
We can have those things in eternity … but we have to pursue them on God’s terms, using His
prescribed methods.
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To Lead in Eternity: Be Faithful Now
To be Great in Eternity: Serve Now
To have Honor in Eternity: Be Humble Now
To have Impact in Eternity: Bear Fruit Now
To be Forgiven in Eternity: Forgive Others Now
To be Strong in Eternity: Acknowledge Weakness Now
To have Wealth in Eternity: Be Generous Now
My encouragement to you: Don’t live for the Moment … Live each Moment for Eternity.
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