PE-course
Project Organised Learning (POL)
Mm 6: Conflict Handling
Master of Science – Introductory Semester
(E7 + M7 – Intro)
Lecturer:
Ass. teacher:
Lars Peter Jensen
Xiangyun Du
E7+M7-Intro, E05
1
Project Organized Learning (POL)
6: Conflict Handling
Agenda:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Lecture 1: On conflicts
Role play about conflicts
Lecture 2: Preventing conflicts
Role play on creative problem solving
Lecture 3: Conflict behaviour and conflict
solving
E7+M7-Intro, E05
2
Project Organized Learning (POL)
6: Conflict Handling
My goals for your learning
After this lesson you should be able to:
• Describe and explain simple ways of
preventing conflicts
• Explain different behaviour in a conflict
situation
• Describe and explain simple ways of solving
a conflict
E7+M7-Intro, E05
3
Conflicts
– WHAT? WHY? HOW?
• WHAT? Behaviour exhibited by one (or more)
person(s) which bothers another (or other)
person(s) and/or prevents them from doing
something they would like to do.
• WHY? Disagreement, “bad chemistry”, fight about
power, lack of respect, cultural insensitivity e.g..
• HOW? It is easy to start a conflict – but it might
be hard to solve it satisfactorily!.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
4
Role Play about conflicts
The six roles:
– The speaker
– The listener
– The active listener
– The interrupting person
– The shy or not participating person
– The observer
E7+M7-Intro, E05
5
The roles
The speaker
•
You have to speak for approximately 5 minutes about a topic of interest
to you – it can be your hobby, a holiday or an experience you have had –
most important is that you are engaged. You have to try to make the
other group members understand what you are talking about.
The listener
•
You listen to the speaker and express interest for the topic via your body
language (nodding, varied facial expression, leaning forward etc.) and by
asking small open-ended questions, encouraging the speaker to continue
talking.
The active listener
•
You listen to the speaker and express interest for understanding the
topic by listening both to the words and to the feelings underlying the
words. You repeat sentences in your own words and try to explain and
interpret what you hear. Be aware that your body language also expresses
interest.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
6
The roles
The interrupting person
• Your role is to try to interrupt the speaker several times and
speak about something different. Your body language expresses a
slight lack of interest, because you would rather speak about
something else.
The shy or not participating person
• You behave as if you don’t want to participate in the discussion.
You either just sit there or play with the computer, talk in your
mobile, look out through the window. Your body language
expresses no interest or understanding.
The observer
• Your most important role is to keep an eye on time and not let the
speaker speak for more than 5 minutes. Further, you observe the
communication in the group and note down your impression
afterwards.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
7
Role Play about conflicts
After playing different roles (app. 2 – 4
plays) you discuss:
• Your immediate feelings and reactions
concerning the different roles.
• To which extent can you recognize some of
the roles from your discussions in the
group ?
• To which extent can you learn something
from the role plays that could be useful in
your future discussions in the group ?
E7+M7-Intro, E05
8
Role Play
(Plenary discussion and a break)
E7+M7-Intro, E05
9
Lecture 2: Preventing Conflicts
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Preventing conflicts
Dialogue versus discussion
Reflexive writing and marking rounds
The ’Hot chair’
’I’ – messages
E7+M7-Intro, E05
10
Preventing Conflicts
”Prevention is better than cure”
- also when it concerns conflicts in a group!!
”Remember that the sooner a conflict is
identified and handled, the less dramatic it is.
Prevention of conflicts builds on mutual
understanding and respect for diversity.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
11
Preventing Conflicts
Conflicts are best prevented by:
• Knowing and understanding expectations,
opinions and feelings - your own as well as
those of others (dialogue, I-messages)
• Agreeing on rules, roles and relations in the
group, (co-operation agreement)
• Evaluating your group co-operation
regularly (’hot chair’, team health profile).
E7+M7-Intro, E05
12
Dialogue and Discussion
Dialog versus diskussion
Dialogue is an expansive
process - your knowledge is
increased.
How is the ’mind map of the
world’ for the others??
Discussion is a narrowing
process - you agree on a
collective ’mind map of the
world’
E7+M7-Intro, E05
13
Dialogue
• The objective is to understand what others
understand – understand their ’mind map of the
world’
• The means are: listening – passively and actively.
• The characteristics are: to be curios; open
minded; eager to learn.
• Cultural sensitivity requires dialogue !!
E7+M7-Intro, E05
14
Passive Listening
Builds on the ability to:
• Be silent
• Express acknowledgement
• Invite others to go into details using
encouraging words: ”Yes”,”No”,”I
see”,”Hmmm” and
• openers: ”Tell more”, ”How would you”
etc.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
15
Aktiv Listening
lytning
Active
Coding
Decoding
E7+M7-Intro, E05
16
Active Listening
Builds on the ability to:
• ’Mirror’, (repeat with your own words)
what the other person says
• Communicate on the other person’s
premises
• Show understanding and respect for
the other persons opinion
• Interpret – not judge or condemn.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
17
Body language of a listener
A listening person:
Has eye contact
Has an open posture
Is leaning slightly forward
Nods at intervals
Is conscious of own and receiver’s body language
E7+M7-Intro, E05
18
Discussion
• The objective is to agree upon a decision –
a common ’mind map of the world’
• The means are: shift between listening,
reflecting, developing ideas and speaking
• The characteristics are: holistic
judgements (see it as a whole) and
reasonable decisions
E7+M7-Intro, E05
19
When you have to make a decision…
Split up your discussion into 4 phases:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Making suggestions – ’drawing different maps’.
Elaborating, explaining – ’understanding the maps’.
Developing further, comprehensive assessment –
’heading for a better map’.
Deciding – ’drawing the (best) collective map’
Phase 1 – 2 is the dialogue. Phase 3 – 4 is the discussion.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
20
Reflexive writing and ‘marking rounds’
Can be used before, during and after a
decision-making process:
• Five minutes ’time-out’, where
• All speaking in the group is forbidden and
• Each student spontaneously writes down his or her
thoughts about the form of the discussion and the
issues discussed at the moment
• After 5 minutes take a ‘marking round’ where
everyone explains their thoughts
E7+M7-Intro, E05
21
Reflexive writing and ‘marking rounds’
..are good tools in team work because they:
• Give those who have ’dropped out’ of the discussion a
possibility to come back in.
• Give everybody a possibility to put forward their views and
opinions.
• Make the communication process open and visible because of
the writing.
GOOD ADVICE: Let the less speaking student start!!
E7+M7-Intro, E05
22
Evaluating personal relations:
The ’Hot chair’
Every 2-3 weeks group members evaluate
each other one at a time according to the
following rules:
• The person in the ‘hot chair’ is not allowed to
comment, she/he is supposed to listen to the
constructive and loyal criticism of other group
members
• All the others have to give positive and negative
feedback e.g. Two things they like about the
person’s behaviour within the group, and two
things they don't like
E7+M7-Intro, E05
23
Evaluating personal relations:
The ’Hot chair’
Feedback must:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Describe behaviour – not interpret motives
Express your own feelings directly – not indirectly
Be specific – not general
Only address issues which can be changed
Make room for change
Be non-judgmental
Only be given when asked for/agreed upon – not
uninvited
• Be motivated by a wish to help others – not to hurt
E7+M7-Intro, E05
24
A good advice to remember !!
• Be towards others as you wish them
to be towards you!!
E7+M7-Intro, E05
25
’I’-messages
The ’I’-message is a clear, unambiguous and
honest message about your thoughts and
feelings
You can share your thought and feelings with
others but they cannot deny them or say that
they are ’wrong’
E7+M7-Intro, E05
26
How to use ’I’-messages to tell
others about something you don’t like
Phase
Example
Start (state the factual ”You didn’t tell me that the
behaviour)
meeting was cancelled.
Consequence (describe
the consequence of this
behaviour for you)
Feeling (describe how
you feel about this)
Alternative (point out
another way to behave)
So I have wasted my time coming
here.
This makes me angry and I feel
that you disrespect me and my
job.
If you had notified my secretary
she could have notified me.”
E7+M7-Intro, E05
27
Break for 15 minutes
Deadline is deadline !
E7+M7-Intro, E05
28
Creative conflict solving
• A conflict is identified and everyone
in the group can see the problem
• It may be better to create a NEW
solution together rather than to
quarrel about which one to chose
• With the new solution everyone wins
something, but at the same time you
also have to let go of something
E7+M7-Intro, E05
29
Creative conflict solving
• In a trade-off discussion people
often go for win/lose solutions
• To go for win/win solutions you can
try a special negotiation game called
Movement
• Making a Movement is a game you are
playing so you should have fun while
doing it
E7+M7-Intro, E05
30
Movement – the rules
•
•
•
•
•
When someone makes a suggestion you are not
allowed to question it or criticize it
You are only allowed to say YES AND … to
spontaneously follow up the idea
Movement is playing with ideas and the ideas
are allowed to ‘live their own life’ and
therefore they develop
The wilder an idea the better
Even though you don’t like an idea, following up
on it might end with a brilliant idea later on
that might lead to a new solution to the
conflict
E7+M7-Intro, E05
31
Movement - afterwards
• When running out of ideas the Movement
stops
• You can now look at the conflict with new
eyes
• One of the wild ideas may be transformed
into a new solution that everyone thinks is
good
• This way you have solved the conflict and
created a win/win solution for all
E7+M7-Intro, E05
32
Movement – try it
•
•
•
•
•
•
Playing a role play in mixed groups will demonstrate
how Movement can be used to conflict solving.
Each group selects two persons to play person A
and B who has some disagreement that now has
turned into an open conflict.
The rest of the group has no direct part in the
conflict, but it influences the group’s work.
Now use the rules of Movement to create new ideas
to help A and B settle their disagreement.
All of the group should participate and have fun
and create wild ideas, so A and B should try not to
focus their mind on the disagreement for a while.
Afterwards the group try to find a solution to the
conflict based on the ideas from the movement.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
33
A: Ambitious person
Person A:
•
•
•
•
•
•
is ambitious and using a lot of time on the project
is working with the project most evenings and
weekends
does a lot of work and expects others to do the same
wants to learn as much as possible and is very
career-minded
is very co-operative
dislikes people being late or not delivering on time.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
34
B: relaxed person
Person B:
•
seems more focused on having a good time than on
studying hard
•
is often late in the morning because there has been
a party the night before
•
is sometimes late in delivering his tasks in the
project
•
is funny and wants to socialize with both the group
and others
•
is well liked in the group and co-operative
•
has very good technical skills in the area of the
project and is brilliant in math
E7+M7-Intro, E05
35
Conflict to solve
•
•
•
•
•
A has long been unsatisfied about B being late and
not delivering on time.
The group has a code of conduct stating that
everyone arrive at 8.15 and deliver working tasks
on time.
A is now suggesting that B starts following the code
of conduct or he shall be expelled from the group.
B thinks that social life is also important and that
the code of conduct shouldn’t be followed strictly.
The rest of the group feels that both A and B
contribute to the project and both are important
for both the work and the good spirit so they want
to find a new code of conduct that can be accepted
and followed by all in the group.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
36
Lecture 3: Conflict behaviour and
conflict solving
1.
2.
3.
4.
How to spot a conflict
Personal conflict behaviour
Conflict solving
Consequences of conflicts
E7+M7-Intro, E05
37
How to spot a conflict
• Very loud discussion in stead of dialogue –
nobody is trying to understand each other
• Very long arguing but no decisions
• Goes ‘for the man’ not ’for the ball’
• Postulate in stead of reasoning
• Formation of cliques
• Talk about people behind their backs
REMEMBER:
Deal with conflicts,
the sooner the better !!!
E7+M7-Intro, E05
38
Personal conflict behavior
Relations
Important
Accommodating smooth things out
Collaborating
Compromising
Avoiding
Forcing
Not important
Goal
Important
E7+M7-Intro, E05
39
Personal conflict behaviour
Profile
Avoidance
’drawing’
Accommodating
’smooth things out’
Win/loose
‘forcing’
Compromising
’do compromises’
Collaborating
’confronting’
Characteristic individual behaviour
Avoid, deny, ignore, turn away.
Forthcoming, abandon personal goals,
relations to others is more important.
Dominating, aggressive, want to win,
demonstrates power.
All shall gain something – there is
different ways to do things,
compromises.
Acceptance of conflicts. Everybody's
needs are legitimate and important.
Respect for personal relations. Make
allowances
E7+M7-Intro, E05
40
One way to solve a conflict
• Those involved in the conflict state their point of
view, one at a time.
• A mediator sums up the main issues in the conflict.
• The mediator and the persons involved try to
uncover underlying reasons for the conflict.
• Everyone participates in the development of
possible solutions.
• The group agrees upon trying one of the solutions
and the mediator writes down the agreement.
• Everyone evaluates the process and states
whether they are satisfied with the solution.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
41
Another way to solve a conflict
 Those involved in the conflict tell
• How they have experienced the situation
• How they have contributed to creating the problem
• How they can contribute to a solution
 Mediator and persons involved participate in the
development of possible solutions.
 The group agrees upon trying one of the solutions
and the mediator writes down the agreement.
• Everyone evaluates the process and states whether
they are satisfied with the solution.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
42
Conflict solving – think about
Phase
Agenda
Problem
What’s the reason for the conflict
Goal
A ’win/win’-solution
Confrontation
’I’ messages
Active listening
Solutions
Understanding others’ ”mind map of
the world”
As many as possible to increase
creative solutions
Judgement and
choice
Consensus or compromise
Agreement
Who is going to do what ?
Evaluating
E7+M7-Intro,
E05learn ?
What
did WE
43
Conflicts – negative or positive ?
A conflict can be destructive, but it can also
• bring forward different sides of a case
• Enhance creativity and
• stimulate learning.
Also, a satisfactorily solved conflict is likely to
• Create better co-operation, more trust and deeper
friendships, and
• Improve the ability to handle conflicts in the
future – both in the group and in a later job
situation.
It is not the conflict itself, but the lack of ability
and will to solve it, that creates problems.
E7+M7-Intro, E05
44
Remember:
Conflicts arises !!!
It is your choice whether they shall lead
to positive or negative results.
It depends upon whether your mental
frame is positive or negative !
What do you read here?
• OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE
• OPPORTUNITY IS NOWHERE
• OPPORTUNITY IS NOW HERE
E7+M7-Intro, E05
45
..and this was it for today!!
E7+M7-Intro, E05
46