During all criminal
investigations, it will be
necessary to visit a strip
joint at least once.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Never, ever, be Inspector
Harry Callahan’s new
partner.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Even when driving down a
perfectly straight road it is
necessary to turn the
steering wheel vigorously
from left to right every few
moments.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
At least one of a pair of
identical twins is born evil.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
A detective can only solve a
case once he has been
suspended from duty.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Should you decide to
defuse a bomb don't worry
which wire to cut. You will
always choose the right
one.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
It does not matter if you are
heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your
enemies will wait patiently to
attack you one by one by dancing
around in a threatening manner
until you have knocked out their
predecessors.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Police departments give
their officers personality
tests to make sure they are
deliberately assigned to a
partner who is their total
opposite.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Honest and hard working
policemen are traditionally
gunned down three days
before their retirement.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Rather than wasting bullets,
megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
archenemies using complicated
machinery involving fuses, pulley
systems, deadly gases, lasers and man
eating sharks which will allow their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
I missed the day of the
Academy when they taught
how to ride on a car hood.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Your supervisor is always
wrong and must be trained
into understanding your
methods of police work are
far superior to his.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Exotic sports cars can be
bought on a cop's salary.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every officer will be
involved in a shooting
within the first week on
duty.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
There are two types of
women:
1. Victims.
2. Kick ass partners.
You will sleep with both types.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Pistols are never carried
with a round chambered.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
You can knock most bad
guys old cold with a single
punch, and never break
your hand.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Unless the movie is about a
federal agent, federal
agents all wear expensive,
three-piece suits, and are
incompetent jerks.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Even the tightest, most
fashionable outfits can
completely conceal guns,
badges, handcuffs and
pistol magazines.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Cops involved in shootings
are seldom debriefed or
placed on administrative
leave.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Typing in only a name into
a police computer will yield
the owner’s last ten
addresses and employers,
complete military record,
and medical history.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Any police radio can be
“patched through” to the
Joint Chiefs of Staff on a
moment’s notice.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Cops commonly transfer
from one major police
department to another with
no intervening training or
loss of status or seniority.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Detective’s offices are
always clean and modern,
unless they are in New
York City, where they will
be housed in condemned
buildings.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every patrol division has at
least one fat, aging cop
who wisecracks endlessly
and smokes a cigar.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
The smallest detail in a
photograph or video image
can be “enhanced” to
reveal the suspect’s face.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Criminal gangs can always
find an abandoned building
with heat, electricity, and
telephone service to use as
a hideout.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Cops never know of the
existence of these
buildings.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
An unlimited number of
search warrants can be
“picked up” by any officer,
for any reason, at a
moment’s notice.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
The chances of being killed
by a drunk driver increase
approximately 100 times by
marrying a cop.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every third vehicle accident
will involve at least a minor
fire.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every fifth vehicle accident
will result in a breathtaking
explosion.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Police radios will transmit
without having to activate
the “push to talk” button.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every police agency, district
attorney’s office, and
animal shelter has at least
one “safe house.”
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
If you need to escape from a
building, use the ventilation
system. The ducts are large
and unobstructed, and no one
will think of looking for you
there.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
All telephone numbers in the
USA begin with 555.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
All beds have special L
shaped sheets which reach up
to armpit level on a woman,
but only to waist level on the
man lying beside her.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
It is easy for anyone to land a
plane, as long as there is
someone in the control tower
to talk them down.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
A man will show no pain while
taking the most ferocious
beating, but will wince when a
woman tries to clean his
wounds.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
When paying for a taxi, don't
look at your wallet as you take
out a bill. Just grab one at
random and hand it over - it
will always be the exact fare.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Women will investigate any
suspicious noise in a house
while wearing their most
revealing underwear.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
A single match will be
sufficient to light up a room
the size of RFK stadium.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
It is not necessary to say hello
or goodbye when beginning or
ending telephone
conversations.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
All bombs are fitted with
electronic timing devices
having large red digital
displays, so you know exactly
when the bomb will go off.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
It is always possible to park
directly outside the building
you are visiting.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
When they are alone, all
foreigners prefer to speak
English to each other.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Any door can be opened in
seconds with a paper clip or
credit card, unless it is the
door to a burning building with
a child trapped inside.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies