What Schools, Parents and Students Should Know about Their Cyber
Profile and Cyber-Bullying
Sticks and stones will break their bones, but words will never hurt them—right?
Wrong! While the First Amendment gives students the right of free speech, it
does not give them the right to say false and vicious things about their peers. In
the United States, someone whose reputation is damaged by a false statement
made by another can sue that person for defamation. Under rare circumstances,
such statements and the way they are delivered may rise to the level of cyberstalking or harassment, considered a crime in more than 46 states.
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Unfortunately, since the advent of the Web, and efficient browsing tools like
smart phones, many are taking their grievances to the public, online. They are
building defamatory Web sites and posting defamatory comments online. While
initially the victims of the defamation may ignore the postings and Web sites, they
are starting to take action more and more frequently. And teenagers are getting
into the act as well. When harassment occurs and young people are on both
sides of the events, with a young person harassing another young person, it is
typically called cyber-bullying. When an adult is on one side or another, it is
typically called cyber-stalking or harassment.
Students need to know that the online services and ISPs will provide their identity
pursuant to legal process. And they can be found and held responsible for what
they say and do online. It’s very important that we teach our children to
understand accountability, online and offline. Schools can be very helpful here.
Unfortunately, sometimes when cyber-bullying occurs the schools get involved in
trying to discipline the students for off-hours and off-premises activities, often to
their detriment.
What is Cyber-bullying?
"Cyber-bullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened,
harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child,
preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile
phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by
a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it becomes cyberharassment or cyber-stalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking should
not be confused with cyber-bullying and adults trying to lure children into offline
meetings is referred to as sexual exploitation or luring by a sexual predator.
However, sometimes when a minor starts a cyber-bullying campaign it involves
sexual predators who are intrigued by the sexual harassment or even ads posted
by the cyber-bullying offering up the victim for sex.
The methods used are limited only by their imagination and access to
technology. Cyber-bullies often change roles going from victim to bully and back
again. Teens have committed homicide and suicide after having been involved
in a cyber-bullying incident. Cyber-bullying is usually not a one-time
communication, unless it involves a death threat or a credible threat of serious
bodily harm. Teens usually know it when they see it, while parents may be more
worried about the lewd language used by the perpetrators rather than the hurtful
effect it’s having on their child.
Cyber-bullying may rise to the level of a misdemeanor cyber-harassment charge,
or if the child is young enough may result in the charge of juvenile delinquency.
Most of the time the cyber-bullying does not go that far, although parents often
try and pursue criminal charges. It typically can result in a child losing their ISP or
IM accounts as a “terms of service violation”. And in some cases, if hacking or
password and identity theft is involved, can be a serious criminal matter under
state and federal law.
Why Do They Do It?
Cyber-bullying is often motivated by anger, revenge or frustration. Sometimes
they do it for entertainment or because they are bored and have too much time
on their hands and too many tech toys available to them. Mobile phones with
browsing, and smart phones are now the status quo, making these types of
rituals omnipresent and 24/7. Many will tell you they do it for laughs or to get a
reaction. Some do it by accident, by either sending a message to the wrong
recipient or not thinking before sending. The Power-hungry do it to torment
others and boost their ego. Those who are traditionally the victim may start out
defending themselves from a bullying incident only to find that they enjoy the
power. Mean girls do it to help bolster their rep or remind people of their own
social standing while others think they are righting a wrong and standing up for
others.
Experts on schoolyard bullying often misunderstand cyber-bullying, thinking it is
just another method of bullying. But the motives and the nature of cybercommunications, as well as the demographic and profile of a cyber-bully, more
often than not, drastically differ from their offline counterpart.
What Can School Administrators Do?
The worst thing schools can do is act like it doesn’t exist. Include parents in the
discussion. No one is ever too old to learn about healthy cell phone and Internet
use. Research indicates children who have parents who “sext” or drive while
texting, or practice cyber-bullying, are often engaged in similar behaviors
themselves. One of the greatest issues facing schools today is helping students
draw the line on what is acceptable Internet and cell phone behavior. Gen-Exers
have grown up surrounded by technology and mobile devices. At a minimum,
schools should have a policy and provide education for helping students navigate
these waters.
When schools intervene by disciplining the student for cyber-bullying actions that
took place off-campus and outside of school hours, they are often sued for
exceeding their authority and violating the student's free speech right. They also,
often lose. Schools can be very effective brokers in working with the parents to
stop and remedy cyber-bullying situations. They can also educate the students
on cyber-ethics and the law. If schools are creative, they can sometimes avoid
the claim that their actions exceeded their legal authority for off-campus cyberbullying actions. Add a provision to the school's “acceptable use policy”
reserving the right to discipline the student for actions taken off-campus if they
are intended to have an effect on a student or they adversely affect the safety
and wellbeing of student while in school. This makes it a contractual, not a
constitutional, issue.
What Can Parents of Teens Do?
An estimated 62% of teens report their parents know little or nothing about their
Web activities and 71% of parents stop monitoring their child’s use of the Internet
after they turn 14, but cyber-bullying doesn’t stop when your child gets into high
school.
Parents need to be the one trusted place their child can go when things go wrong
online and offline. Yet they often are the one place students avoid when things
go wrong online. Why? Parents tend to overreact. Most students avoid telling
their parents about a cyber-bullying incident fearing they will only exacerbate an
already difficult situation (calling the other parents, the school, blaming the victim
or taking away Internet privileges). Or worse, they underreact, taking the “stick
and stones” approach. Both positions are inadequate, and equally damaging.
Parents need to be supportive of your child during this time. Words and cyberattacks can wound a child easily and have a lasting effect. These attacks follow
them into your otherwise safe home and wherever they go online. And when up
to 700 million accomplices can be recruited to help target or humiliate your child,
the risk of emotional pain is very real, and very serious.
Notify the school so the guidance counselor can monitor in-school bullying and
how your child is handling things. You may want to notify your
pediatrician, family counselor or clergy for support if things escalate. It is crucial
that you are there to provide the necessary support and love. Make them feel
secure. All attacks should be taken seriously.
Parents also need to understand that a child is just as likely to be a cyber-bully
as a victim of cyber-bullying and often go back and forth between the two roles
during one incident. They may not even realize that they are seen as a cyberbully.
Gauge the severity of the incident by asking yourself: Is your teen at risk of
physical harm or assault? And how are they handling the attacks
emotionally? If there is any indication that personal contact information has
been posted online, or any threats are made to your child, you should report this
to your local law enforcement agency. Take a printout of all instances of cyberbullying with you when you file the report.
Here are some prevention tips to pass onto to parents at your school:
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Talk to your teen – ask questions and then confirm to make sure they are
telling you the truth.
Ask to see their profile page (for the first time)…tomorrow! It gives them a
chance to remove everything that isn’t appropriate or safe, and it becomes
a way to teach them what not to post instead of being a gotcha moment.
Think of it as the loud announcement before walking downstairs to a teen
party you’re hosting.
Don't panic. There are ways of keeping your kids safe online. It’s easier
than you think.
Be involved and work with others in your community. Help create a local
cyber-neighborhood watch program in your community.
Remember what you did as a teen that your parents wouldn’t have
approved of.
It’s not an invasion of their privacy if strangers can see it. There is a
difference between reading their paper diary that is tucked away in their
sock drawer and reading their profile online. One is between them and the
paper it’s written on; the other between them and 700 million people on
the Internet!
References/Resources for Cyber-Bullying, Sexting, Safety
http://www.makeadifferenceforkids.org/
http://www.cyberbully.org/
www.wiredsafety.org