Epsilon Sigma Phi Conference Session Maximize your Professional Relationships Through Coaching with EI Graham R. Cochran Associate Professor OSU Extension & Department of Agriculture Communication, Education, and Leadership The Ohio State University [email protected] Utilize coaching as a unique form of communication and unlock the surrounding hidden potential in others. Create positive relationships with coworkers through coaching and improve morale, employee productivity, and organizational success. Participants will explore concepts surrounding coaching and emotional intelligence and take home skills and strategies to establish and strengthen coaching relationships. Participants will: 
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explore aspects of coaching and how those relate to professional relationships; explore how thoughts and emotions influence their ability to coach; and identify and take home skills and strategies to utilize in strengthening coaching relationships. References & Resources: Coe, C., Zender, A., and Kinlaw, D. (2008). Coaching for commitment. San Francisco: Pfeiffer Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligene. Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam Grant, A. M. (2007). Enhancing coaching skills and emotional intelligence through training. Industrial and Commercial Training, 39(5), 257‐266. doi:10.1108/00197850710761945 Neale, S., Spencer‐Arnell, L., Wilson, L.(2009). Emotional Intelligence Coaching: Improving performance for leaders, coaches, and the individual.Philadelphia: Kogan Page Hughes, M., & Terrel, J. B. (2009). Coaching with Emotional and Social Effectiveness. (M. Hughes, H. L. Thompson, & J. B. Terrell, Eds.) San Francisco: Pfeiffer Linkage, Inc. (2005). The coaching Landscape. In H. Morgan, P. Harkins, & M. Goldsmith (Eds.), The Art and Practice of Leadership Coaching (pp. 1‐52). Hoboken, New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Whitmore, J. (2009). Coaching for performance. Boston: Nicholas Brealey Publishing Wright, J. (2007). Stress in the workplace: A coaching approach. Work, 28, 279‐284 Cochran, G. R. (2012) ESP Conference 1 Overview of the Four Roles we Play within our Positions Manager Mentor Instructor Coach The one directing a task or project. The person responsible for the results, from projects or people. Someone who has been where you are, or is where you want to be someday. The person sharing his or her knowledge and skill—teacher, trainer, tutor, consultant. *Tells How *Does not tell What Mentor tells: How to behave. *Tells What *Tells How Instructor tells: What the expectations are and how they will be met. The unbiased individual who solicits information from the person seeking insight or answers – the person being coach. *Tells What *Does not tell How Manager tells: What the expectations are. How to act. What the desired outcome is. How to make something happen. What results he or she is looking for. What needs to happen and how to make it happen. *Does not tell What *Does not tell How Person being coached tells both what and how. Coach lets go of what and how by asking powerful and thought‐provoking coaching questions. Coach listens, remains egoless, and lets go of biases so that the person being coached can choose the path and action plan. Coe, C., Zehner, A., and Kinlaw, D. (2008). Coaching for commitment. San Francisco: Pfeiffer
Cochran, G. R. (2012) ESP Conference 2 What is coaching? Coaching is the process of guiding good people to make the most of their capabilities and positioning them to work more effectively within their environments (Linkage, Inc., 2005). As a way of unlocking a person’s potential in the efforts of maximizing individual performance, coaching, is executed by helping one learn as opposed to solely teaching them (Whitmore, 2004). Effective coaching requires the establishment of rapport and trust with employees to facilitate effective feedback (Goleman, Boyatzis, & McKee, 2002). Coaching is also viewed as an ongoing process of communication between supervisors and employees on improving performance and building capabilities (OSU Extension, 2010). Successful coaching is a conversation of self‐discovery that follows a logical process and leads to superior performance, commitment to sustained growth, and positive relationships (Coe, Zehnder, and Kinlaw, 2008, p. 8). Clear Coaching Skills A Coach’s Role •
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Challenge Listen Encourage Ask Refine Cochran, G. R. (2012) ESP Conference 3 Be open to all possibilities Listen Be curious; ask questions Gain insights & understanding Help with exploration Be an anthropologist GROW Coaching Model Worksheet Goal What do you want to accomplish? How will you know when it is achieved? Reality What’s happening now in terms of the goal? How far am I away from the goal? Obstacles What is standing in the way – Me? Other people? Lack of skills, knowledge, expertise? Physical environment? Options What options do I have to resolve the issues or obstacles? Way Forward/Will Which option will I commit to? Cochran, G. R. (2012) ESP Conference 4 GROW Coaching Model Worksheet and Notes Goal What do you want to accomplish? How will you know when it is achieved? Reality What’s happening now in terms of the goal? How far am I away from the goal? Distinguish between end and performance goals. End goals are the final objective while performance goals identify the level that you believe will provide you with the best chance of achieving the end goal. Individual needs to feel ownership for the goal. The value of choice and responsibility in terms of self‐motivation should never be underestimated. Goals must be agreed on between all the parties involved. Sample Questions – What is the aim of this discussion? What do you want to achieve long term? What does success look like? How much personal control or influence do you have over your goal? What would be a milestone on the way? By when do you want to achieve it? Is that positive, challenging and attainable? How will you measure it? Goals can’t be established until the current situation is known and understood.
Potential misperceptions of both the coach and the coachee. As a coach you must work to detach yourself from the goal. A coach follows the interest or chain of thought of the coachee, while at the same time monitoring how that relates to the subject as a whole. Following the coachee’s train of thought rather than asserting his own, the coach gains the coachee’s confidence and trust. Sample Questions – What is happening right now? Only focus on fact, what is really happening at the moment. (WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, HOW MUCH, HOW OFTEN) Who is directly and indirectly involved? If things are not going well with this issue, who else gets drawn in? If things are not going well, what happens to you? What about others involved, what happens to them? What have you done about this so far? With what results? How often have you tried? What is missing in this situation? What is holding you back from finding a way forward? Cochran, G. R. (2012) ESP Conference 5 Obstacles What is standing in the way? Options What options do I have to resolve the issues or obstacles? Both coach and coachee should understand how the obstacles is stopping the individual from going straight from where they are to where they want to be. Check for obstacles in four areas: (1) the person themselves, (2) caused by other people, (3) a lack of skills, knowledge or experience, and (4) caused by the physical environment. A coach needs to understand how obstacles are obstructing the coachee from their goal. Purpose is not to find the right answer but to create and list as many alternative courses of action as possible. Quantity is more important than quality at this point. If preferences, censorship, ridicule, obstacles, or the need for completeness are expressed during the collection process, potentially valuable contributions will be missed and the choices will be limited. Coach does all he/she can to draw these options from the coachee or from the team he is coaching/managing. When does the coach add input – once the coachee has exhausted all possibilities, the coach may simply say, “I have another couple of options.” Reviewing the options can lead to additional options Sample Questions: What options do you have for steps to resolve this issue? What else might you do? What would someone who handles this kind of issue really do well? What if you had more time for this issue, what might you try? What if you had less time? What might that force you to try? Imagine that you had more energy and confidence, what could you try then? What if somebody said: "Money no object"? What might you try then? If you had total power, what might you try then? What if you could start again? If the constraints you identified earlier were removed ‐ what could you do then? What should you do? Would you like another suggestion? What are the costs and benefits of each of these ideas? Cochran, G. R. (2012) ESP Conference 6 Purpose is to convert a discussion into a decision. “What are you going to do?” Not, “What are you thinking of doing?’ or Which option will I commit to? “Which of these do you prefer?” Other sample questions‐ “When are you going to do it?” “Will this action meet your goal?” “What obstacles might you meet along the way?” “Who needs to know?” “What support do you need” “How and when are you going to get that support?” “What other considerations do you have?” Whitmore, J. (2009). Coaching for performance. Boston: Nicholas Brealey Publishing. Way Forward/Will Wikipedia. GROW model retrieved on May 8, 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GROW_model. Cochran, G. R. (2012) ESP Conference 7 Simply Uncoachable There are clues to identifying the simply uncoachable. The following list of simply uncoachable traits can be used to determine whether your potential person to be coached is a tough nut (coachable) or a lost cause (uncoachable). These are extreme traits, and typically, more than one of them needs to be present for someone to be deemed uncoachable.  Constantly blames others, processes, procedures, or the environment for poor performance or behavior.  Never takes personal accountability.  Never takes on additional responsibilities.  Rarely accomplishes assigned duties.  Is always defensive.  Is constantly angry and resentful.  Always plays the victim role.  Repeatedly refuses to be coached or says that he or she is not interested in coaching or development planning.  Refuses to participate in the performance review process.  Constantly creates problems within the team.  Is always combative.  Is constantly disruptive.  Is consistently uncommunicative.  Doesn’t respect his or her colleagues or you.  Consistently ask for feedback, yet regularly retaliates when it is given.  Consistently calls off or is absent from work.  Has a diminished mental capacity to reason and process information or has a medical condition that would render him or her otherwise unable to reason or process information or cannot be held accountable for his or her actions. If you are dealing with someone who is uncoachable and you have tried your best, here are a few options for you to consider –  Play a stronger manager role whenever dealing with this person. Tell this person what you expect.  You may even need to use the instructor role and tell what you expect and how it should be accomplished. If you think the person is a tough nut, versus a lost cause –  Take accountability for the coaching relationship and seriously look at the level of trust that exists between you and the person being coached.  If there is not trust, coaching will not work. Ask yourself whether you have contributed in any way to the person being coached being uncoachable. Coe,C., Zehnder, A., and Kinlaw, D. (2008). Coaching for commitment (pp. 49‐52). San Francisco: Pfeiffer. Cochran, G. R. (2012) ESP Conference 8