Recess Club
Recess Club was developed to help our first grade students learn and
strengthen their friendship and social skills. It grew out of staff
discussions of how best to meet student social needs, especially those
with social skill challenges. Our staff wanted a program that would
foster positive, age appropriate social skills and that would facilitate the
transfer of skills beyond the classroom lessons. The staff also wanted a
program that would support Robinson’s core values, the I-Care Rules,
and the Peace-It-Together Program.
Currently, Recess Club is conducted in all first grade classrooms. It is
co-lead by the guidance counselor, special needs teacher and/or the
speech and language therapist in weekly half hour lessons October
through May. The lesson format begins with a review of the previous
week’s lesson, a new skill introduction and ending with recess. There
are four basic units to the curriculum: Greeting, Conversation, Playing
an Activity, and Playing Fair all of which are listed in the lesson
sequence below. Students complete a self-assessment at the beginning
of each unit and are asked to select one skill on which they would like
to work. The self-assessment is revisited at the end of each unit to see
if there has been an improvement in the particular skill chosen.
Recess Club utilizes books, role-playing, modeling skills, videos and
games as teaching tools. Parent newsletters are sent home monthly
describing the skills currently being taught and providing parents a
common language to use with their child. Because practice in the
natural setting is so beneficial, children are instructed to practice these
skills at recess and throughout the school day. Use of these skills will
be set as a class goal for the intervening days. Adults try to catch
students demonstrating the skill of the week, acknowledging it with
praise and/or a Kids Who Care coupon.
The benefits of this program are many. Recess Club supports a
common language, used by students, staff and parents, which
facilitates learning, especially for those students with social challenges,
and social problem solving. It also assists with the transfer of social
skills from the classroom to the whole school and home while
supporting the development of a caring, peaceful community. Finally,
the program contributes to a decrease in disciplinary incidents.
Recess Club Lesson Sequence 2015-2016
Friendship and What is a Social Detective:
Lesson 1: What is Recess Club and How to be a Friend (What is a Social
Detective & Expected behavior – DR’s video)
Lesson 2: What is a Friend?
Lesson 3: How to Lose a Friend (unexpected behavior) & Recess Club Pledge
Lesson 4: Tools of a Social Detective
Lesson 5: Introduction to the Zones of Regulation
Lesson 6: Zones Strategies
Lesson 7: Thinking with Your Eyes
Lesson 8: Smart Guess
Lesson 9: Appreciating our Differences
How to be a Friend and Social Detective Tools:
Lesson 10:
Lesson 11:
Lesson 12:
Lesson 13:
Lesson 14:
Lesson 15:
Gaining Other’s Attention and Eye Contact
Personal Space
Tone, Volume and Word choice
Not Interrupting – My Mouth is a Volcano
Listening/Answering
Staying on Topic and Changing the Topic
Playing an Activity:
Lesson 16: Taking Turns and Choosing Who Goes First
Lesson 17: Inviting Someone to Play and What to Do if They say “No”
And When and How to say, “No”
Lesson 18: Establishing the Rules of a Game and Renegotiating when Rules Change.
Lesson 19: Joining an Existing Activity/game
Lesson 20: Feeling Left out
Playing Fair:
Lesson 21:
Lesson 22:
Lesson 23:
Lesson 24:
Being a Good Sport (bragging vs. excitement)
Dealing with Losing/Losing is OK
Perseverance
Review game
Recess Club Instructional
Language
Skills
Social Detective*
Expected Behavior
Unexpected Behavior
Social Detective Tools
Zones of Regulation
Blue Zone
Green Zone
Yellow Zone
Red Zone
Thinking with your eyes
Whole Body Listening
Brain in the Group
Smart Guess
Instructional language
A person who uses their social smarts to figure out what is
going on around them and decide what to do next.
How you are expected to behave in social settings based
on whom you are with and where you are. These
behaviors make others have comfortable thoughts and
feelings.
When people don’t follow social expectations, i.e., call talk
off topic, call names, cheat at a game,etc. These behaviors
make others have uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
Eyes, Ears, Brain, Body, Heart, Hands and Feet
A curriculum for teaching self-regulation skills. (See
attached chart.)
My body/engine running low. Examples of Blue Zone
feelings are sad, sick, bored & tired.
My body/engine is ready to work and play. Examples of
Green Zone feelings are okay, happy, calm & focused
My body/engine is beginning to run high. Examples of
Yellow Zone feelings are frustrated, worried, annoyed, silly
& excited.
My body/engine is running very high and I may lose
control. Examples of Red Zone feelings are very angry,
mean, afraid & out of control.
Using your eyes to figure out what non-verbal messages
others are sending, as well as what they might be thinking.
The whole body (eyes, ears, mouth, hands, feet, and brain)
needs to be focused on others in order to show you are
listening.
When you are paying attention to what is happening in the
group, when you are thinking about what others are saying
and doing.
An educated guess, based on information you gather by
thinking with your eyes, that makes others have good
thoughts about you.
Wacky Guess
Accepting Differences
A random or tangential guess, without having any
information about the other person, that makes others
have uncomfortable thoughts about you.
We all have strengths. We all have things that are difficult
for us. I can try my best.
Greeting and Conversation
Personal Space
Individual’s space needs for comfort
Eye Contact
Looking the other person in the eye for minimum of 3 seconds
Getting Other’s Attention
Verbally (i.e. saying hello or saying the person’s name). Nonverbally (i.e. gently tapping person on shoulder)
Not too loud & not too soft; kind and friendly tone; I Care
language.
Voice
Staying on Topic
Reciprocal Turn taking
Changing the Topic
Playing an Activity
Inviting
What to do if someone says,
“No.”
Establishing and agreeing on the
rules
Renegotiating the rules if they
change
Joining in
When and how to say “No.”
Playing Fair
Being a good sport
When I win
When I lose
Responding to what the speaker has said—listen, wait your turn
and talk about the same topic.
Look at the speaker & listen to the speaker, then talk (answer).
Avoid our word bumping together, by listening and not
interrupting.
His turn: look, listen, stay on topic/answer. Wait for a pause.
My turn: look talk about my topic & listen.
Walk up to the person, get their attention, make eye contact
and ask if the other person wants to play use appropriate
volume, tone and words.
Say, “Ok, maybe the next time.” And ask someone else
Listen, share your ideas, decide and play.
Talk it out: listen, share your ideas and choose a solution (i.e.
make a deal, go to another game, etc.) and play.
Wait for a pause, say something about what the children are
doing and ask, “May I play?” or “May I join the game?”
Stop.
Think about the reason for saying “No.”
Decide.
Say “No” in a caring way and give the reason.
(See additional information on page 2)
Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose.
It is OK to be happy. Say something nice about the other team’s
playing or effort, i.e. “Nice game.” “Good goal.”
I think, “Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose.“
I stay calm and say, “Good game.”
Excitement vs. bragging
Excitement – When I’m excited, I’m happy about winning, but
still am considerate of the other person’s feelings. Bragging –
When I brag, I feel good and the loser feels bad. I don’t pay
attention to how the other person feels.
**It is not OK to say “No” when:
 You have made a promise such as I’ll sit with you at lunch; I’ll play with you at recess or I’ll sit
with you on the bus.
 The request is your responsibility.
It is OK to say “No” when:
 You are asked to do something dangerous or destructive (Double D).
 Someone invites you to engage in mean behaviors such as name calling, taking someone’s hat or
excluding.
Sometimes it is OK to say “No” when:
 You want to be alone, don’t want to lend a treasured item, don’t want to play a certain game,
are busy or don’t feel like it unless it is a responsibility or something you agreed to do.
 It is not OK to make “No” a habit to hurt or exclude someone.
* You are a Social Detective by Michelle Garcia Winner, www.socialthinking.com
Sample Lesson
Theme: Playing an activity
Concepts: Turn taking and choosing
who goes first (Playing Fair)
Grade Level: Grade 1
Primary Outcome: Students will
understand and use strategies for
deciding who goes first or who chooses a
game/activity.
Materials Needed: The Who Goes First
Wheel, coins, dice, newsprint and marker
Instruction:
Introduction Last week we took a look at our self-assessments and
decided whether I’m getting better at or I’ve really improved at the
greeting and conversation skills that we have learned to date. This
week we are going to review and learn strategies for deciding who
chooses or goes first. Point out to students that four of these strategies
were taught in kindergarten.
Lesson: Choosing and taking turns - Explain to students that we will
be learning strategies to decide who chooses or goes first. Discuss with
students why it is important to play fair. Why is it important to play
fair? How do others feel when we play fair? How do others feel when
we when one person chooses and decides? Do you have any strategies
for deciding who goes first? Record these on newsprint.
Introduce the Who Goes First Wheel. Adults describe and model each
of the strategies (flip a coin; rock, paper, scissors; roll the dice, one
potato, two potatoes…; alphabetical order; and odds and evens).
Pair students with someone at their table to practice each of the
strategies.
Practice: Instruct students to practice these strategies during snack
recess and the next week. Let students know the adults will be trying to
catch students using these skills.
Recess Club Resources
Books
Andreae, Giles and Guy Parker-Rees. Giraffes Can’t Dance. New York:
Scholastic Inc., 2002.
Bourgeois, Paulette and Brenda Clark. Franklin’s Secret Club. New
York: Scholastic Inc., 1998.
Brown, Tricia. Someone Special, Just Like You. New York: Henry
Holt and Company, 1982.
Carlson, Nancy. How to Lose All Your Friends. New York: Puffin
Books, 1997.
Cook, Julia. My Mouth is a Volcano. Warrenton, VA: CTC Publishing,
2005
Cummings, Carol. Sticks & Stones. Edmonds, WA: Teaching, Inc.,
1992.
deGroat, Diane. No More Pencils, No More Books, No More
Teacher’s Dirty Looks!. New York: HarperCollins, 2006.
DeVos, Janie. Barthello’s Wing: A Tale of a Very Brave Bug.
Huntington, NY: East End Publishing, Ltd., 2006.
Hamm, Mia. Winners Never Quit. New York: HarperCollins, 2004.
Heine, Helme. Friends. New York: Scholastic Inc., 1982.
Henkes, Kevin. Chester’s Way. New York: HarperCollins Publishers,
1988.
Jones, Carol. The Hare and the Tortise. New York: Houghton Mifflin,
1996.
Lester, Helen. Hooway for Wodney Wat. New York: Houghton Mifflin,
1999.
Petty, Kate. Feeling Left Out. Hauppauge, NY: Aladdin Books, Ltd.,
1991.
Petty, Kate. Playing the Game. Hauppauge, NY: Aladdin Books, Ltd.,
1991.
Piper, Watty. The Little Engine That Could. New York: Platt and
Monk, 1991.
Shally, Celeste and David Harrington. Since We’re Friends: An
Autism Picture Book. Centerton, AR: Awaken Specialty Press, 2007.
Stanley, Diane. The Conversation Club. New York: Macmillan
Publishing Company, 1990.
Thomas, Pat. Don’t Call Me Special: A First Look at Disability.
Hauppauge, NY: Barron’s Educational Series, Inc., 2002.
Videos
Model Me Kids: I Can Do It!. Model Me Kids, 2005.
Model Me Kids: Time for a Playdate. Model Me Kids, 2005.
Model Me Kids: Time for School. Model Me Kids, 2005.
Accepting Our Differences. Sunburst Visual Media, 2004.
What Parents Can Do
Remember discipline means to teach. Events in our children’s lives
are teachable moments, a time to teach our values, problem solving
skills, the choices that we would like them to make and much more.
This is true whether your child has been the child targeted, the
bystander or the child engaging in a hurtful behavior.
Examine your expectations: Are they consistent with
developmentally normal expectations for 5 – 7 year olds? It is
important to understand your child’s temperament and social style.
Some children have one or two best friends while others enjoy having a
variety of friends. It’s important to recognize and accept that your child
may have a social style and needs that differ from your own. The goal
is for each of us to be comfortable and genuinely satisfied with our own
social group and style.
Teach children friendship skills and how to problem solve:
 Review and practice the use of the Solution Wheel and Who Goes
First Wheel.
 Use the Social Replay and the Talk About It form to coach children
when social problems occur.
 Listen and validate your child’s feelings and experiences.
 Model friendship skills and resolving conflicts in peaceful ways.
 Think outloud about a problem in your life while your child is
within earshot. For example, “I was really upset when Mrs. Brown
didn’t listen to me. I felt so mad that I thought I would scream or
cry. I guess that I better cool down before I try to talk to her
about it. I think I’ll take a walk.”
 Role-play how to handle situations that might arise for elementary
age children. Practice what to say and do and discuss what not to
say and do.
 Share your childhood stories as a learning tool.
 Read stories about friendship, feelings, problem solving, socially
cruel behavior, shyness, etc. Reading aloud with children is a great
way to teach skills as well as open up discussion about their
problems, worries and concerns. Check out the guidance website
at http://rs.westfordk12.us/pages/WestfordRS_Guidance/biblio.
Assist children with building and strengthening friendships:
 Teach games and reinforce the game of the month
 Arrange play dates and provide opportunities for socialization
outside of school. Some children need to be taught how to
arrange a play date as well as coached and supported as they
become confident in this new skill.
 Encourage and praise prosocial behaviors. Catch your child acting
in a friendly manner and reinforce it. Also, remember to
compliment your child’s efforts to use positive social behaviors.
 Get children involved in clubs, scouts, etc. where they will interact
with children who share a common interest.
 Help your children recognize their strengths and weaknesses and
feel good about who they are.
Teach kindness and empathy:
 Create opportunities to do good at home, school in the
community.
 Help children to learn to stand in other’s shoes (Think about what
would it feel like if you were the other person or think of a time
you had a similar experience).
 Be a good role model.
Review and practice speaking up and asking for adult help:
 When your child is having a problem (i.e. excluding, teasing, name
calling, etc.) or witnessing someone else is being picked on
repeatedly, instruct him or her to find a trusted adult and say:
o I’m having a problem.
o I’ve said stop/no and did solutions a and b.
o I need some help.
o If the adult doesn’t help, tell another adult.
If your child runs into social difficulty:
o Be empathic and reflective, “sounds like…
o Normalize the problem by sharing a story from your
childhood and your solutions. This not only helps a child to
feel supported and less alone, it can provide concrete
strategies for solving friendship problems.
o Replay the problem situation with your child using our social
replay model.
For more information on these topics as well as shyness, social cruelty, teasing &
bullying and grief & loss go to the Guidance webpage
http://rs.westfordk12.us/pages/WestfordRS_Guidance/index#developguidance.
Also check out Richard Lavoie’s “Dos & Don’ts” for Fostering Social Competence,
http://www.ricklavoie.com/dosart.html and Social Competence and the Child with
Learning Disabilities, http://www.ricklavoie.com/competart.html.
Playdates
(Summary from a Richard Lavoie workshop)
Children with social challenges view their home as their refuge. It may
be the only place your child feels safe. He/she may not understand
how to host a guest and feel that “I’m in charge and gets to make all
the decisions. Adult need to teach children how to be a host.
Guidelines for a playdate:
 Prepare for the play dates
o Your child is the host so prepare him or her. (Meet the guest
at the door, introduction to other family members, etc.)
o Establish house rules and discuss them with your child.
o Put special toys and belongings away to avoid skirmishes.
o With young children have duplicate toys so there are fewer
conflicts (i.e. two trucks, balls, etc.).
 First few dates should be in a neutral place like a park.
 Invite only one child. It’s OK to invite someone of a different age.
A couple of years different are OK.
 No siblings otherwise the sibling may become the more attractive
playmate.
 Begin with a structured activity
o Provide a snack
o Remember the last 15 mins. are what most children
remember, so make them fun. Might end with a snack or
video.
 Have a post playdate discussion.
o What was good?
o What problems occurred?
o What would you do differently?
Have several playmates at your home before your child is a guest at
someone’s house.
SOCIAL REPLAY*
This is a model that can be used to guide your child as she or he tries to solve a
social problem. Parent’s role is that of facilitator rather than problem solver. The
goal is to foster developmentally appropriate independent problem-solving skills in
our children.
Talking with the child: Empathize with the child’s feelings. Share: “I
wasn’t present when the problem happened, so I don’t know what occurred.
Let’s pretend that we had a movie camera and took a movie of the problem
happening.”
“What would I see?”
“What would I hear?”
“What did you do?”
“What did the other person (people) do?”
“How did you feel?”
“How did the other person (people) feel?”
“Which I-Care Rule was broken?”
Once you have a picture of the problem, you’ve identify what when wrong
(i.e. misunderstanding, not asking to join the game, change in game rules,
etc.) and the child has calmed down, summarize what you understand the
problem to be.
Next facilitate the child coming to an agreement about what they will do or
could do differently by Playing It Forward. Ask him or her to: “Pretend
that we are playing the movie forward to tomorrow or next time the problem
might occurs.” Ask the child: “What would you say or do differently?” “What
could you do to solve or prevent the problem from happening again?” The
“Solution Wheel” is a useful tool for this discussion. Assist them in identifying
what they’re willing to do to make things OK with the other children involved.
Once a child has chosen one or two solutions you may choose to write a
contract, rehearse using the solution or make a verbal agreement that he or
she will use the identified solution(s) to solve the problem in the future.
Instruct the child to put it into action. Sometimes it helps to establish a date
to check in and see how the children are doing. If the solution worked,
applaud their success. If not, remind the child: “Working out a problem can
take time. Sometimes it takes 2 – 3 tries before we find a successful
solution.”
Facilitating a meeting with two or more children: Set the ground rules
for the discussion.
“Each person gets a chance to talk about their picture of the problem and
their feelings without interruption. It is important for everyone to be honest.”
Should a child feel that another child is lying explain that when a problem
occurs we often remember it differently because of our strong feelings. Use
the steps above to facilitate a discussion and resolution. The CAPS conflict
resolution model is also useful. Additional information on this model and
problem solving are available on the Robinson Guidance webpage:
http://rs.westfordk12.us/pages/WestfordRS_Guidance/conflicts.
* To assist students with their problems the Robinson staff also used this model. Many professional,
such as Rick Lavoie who wrote It’s So Much Work to be Your Friend, have similar models.