WEST COAST DISTRICT DENTAL
ASSOCIATION 92ND ANNUAL MEETING
THE EQ EDGE:
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND STAR PERFORMANCE
PRESENTED BY MARY O’NEILL, MA, MFT
JANUARY 17, 2014
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Phone: 415-488-1805
Speaking, Training and Consulting
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
THE EQ EDGE:
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND STAR PERFORMANCE
“Emotional Intelligence… provides the underlying energy, skill, and motivation
to support the development of outstanding people skills and greater self- management.”
PROGRAM OBJECTIVES
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Gain a better understanding of emotional intelligence (EQ)
Understand how EQ improves individual and organizational performance
Gain an understanding of personal EQ strengths and vulnerabilities
Learn specific strategies to enhance EQ
Learn how to improve team performance and satisfaction
Three Key Points:
1. Emotions matter.
You cannot achieve objectivity by ignoring emotions. To be effective you
have to recognize and manage emotions.
2. There is a vital link between your EQ and your success.
Emotions are contagious. Managers and leaders either bring out positivity
or create negativity.
3. EQ is potential.
EQ can be learned, developed and enhanced.
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence …
can be defined as the ability to read, understand and respond
intelligently to our own emotional signals and the emotional signals of others.
Emotional intelligence …
can be used to guide thoughts and actions, and promote
emotional and intellectual growth.

EI is a form of social intelligence, a kind of “street smarts” or common sense
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EI involves non-cognitive abilities that determine intelligent behavior
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EI can be used to develop the skills necessary to build powerful relationships.
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EI allows us to understand and adjust our reactions to people and events.
EQ IS NOT:
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Aptitude
Achievement
Vocational interest
Personality
About “being nice”!
Fixed
EQ IS:
Made up of short-term, tactical, dynamic
skills that can be



Reliably measured
A predictor of performance
Improved by training, coaching,
experience
EQ is … potential!
It can be learned, developed and enhanced
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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IQ
EQ

Predicts 1 to 20% (average 6%)
success in a given job

Responsible for 27% to 45 % of
job success
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Peaks in late teens
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Culture-bound
Not fixed, increases with age—and
with training, coaching, experience
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“Smart”
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Cuts across cultures
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A different way of being smart
Eighty percent of the people who fail at work
do so for one reason:
they do not relate well to other people.”
-Robert Bolton, People Skills
EQ – AN INNER GPS

Know where you are
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Know where you are going
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Assists with dealing with obstacles and changes
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Suggests alternative paths to goal
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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WHO IS AN “EXCEPTIONAL” PERSON OR LEADER?
WHO ARE THE MOST EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN?
______________________________________
______________________________________
______________________________________
______________________________________
______________________________________
WHAT ARE SOME OF THEIR CHARACTERISTICS?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
______________________________________
______________________________________
______________________________________
______________________________________
______________________________________
THE RESONANT TEAM MEMBER
DISSONANCE
 RESONANCE
HOW EMOTIONS UNDERPIN PERFORMANCE
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“When individuals drive emotions positively, they bring out everyone’s best. This effect is
resonance.”

“When individuals drive emotions negatively, they spawn dissonance, undermining the
foundation that lets people shine.”
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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Emotional Intelligence at Work
DANIEL GOLEMAN’S MODEL OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Self- Awareness
Self- Management (self-regulation)
Social Awareness
Social Skill (especially empathy)
Resilience
THE VALUE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
FOR DENTAL TEAM MEMBERS:
Each of the fundamental components that make up Daniel Goleman’s idea of Emotional
Intelligence depends on at least one of the critical skills necessary for great teamwork:
Here’s how they tie-in:
1. The ability to elicit cooperation – Motivation depends on the ability to elicit
cooperation: first from yourself, and then from others
2. The ability to listen: Self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy all begin with
the ability to listen, both to your own inner voice (to understand your won
motivations) and then to the voices of others (to find out what drives them) –
3. The ability to place the needs of others above your own: Self-regulation
depends on your ability to place the needs of others above your own needs, so that
you don’t automatically rise to anger when things don’t go your way.
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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THE BARON MODEL OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Five Realms
1. Intra-Personal – your ability to
know and manage yourself
2. Inter-Personal- connecting with
others
3. Stress Management- your ability
to withstand stress without caving
in or losing control
4. Adaptability – your ability to size
up and respond to a wide range of
situations
5. General Mood - your outlook on
life, your ability to enjoy yourself
and others and your overall feelings
of contentment or dissatisfaction.
EQ-i: 15 Subscales
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Intra-Personal
 Self-Regard
 Emotional Self-Awareness
 Assertiveness
 Independence
 Self-Actualization
Inter-Personal
 Empathy
 Social Responsibility
 Interpersonal Relationships
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
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Stress Management
 Stress Tolerance
 Impulse Control
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Adaptability
 Reality Testing
 Flexibility
 Problem Solving
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General Mood
 Optimism
 Happiness
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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THE VALUE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK
Top 5 Indicators of Overall Work Success:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Self-Actualization
Optimism
Stress Tolerance
Happiness
Assertiveness
Top 5 Predictors of Success for Physicians/Surgeons:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Independence
Stress Tolerance
Empathy
Impulse Control
Flexibility
Top 5 Predictors of Success for Medical Staff:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Happiness
Self-Actualization
Interpersonal Relationships
Optimism
Independence
Top 5 Predictors of Success for Administrators:
1. Optimism
2. Empathy
3. Happiness
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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Definitions of the 15 Factors of Emotional Intelligence
1. Emotional Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand one’s feelings
2. Assertiveness: The ability to express feelings, beliefs, and thoughts and defend one’s
rights in a non-destructive manner
3. Self-Regard: The ability to be aware of, understand, accept, and respect oneself
4. Self-Actualization: The ability to realize one’s potential capacities
5. Independence: The ability to be self-directed and self-controlled in one’s thinking and
actions and to be free of emotional dependency
6. Empathy: The ability to be aware of, to understand, and to appreciate the
feelings of others
7. Social Responsibility: The ability to demonstrate oneself as a cooperative, contributing,
and constructive member of one’s social group
8. Interpersonal Relationship: The ability to establish and maintain mutually satisfying
relationships that are characterized by emotional closeness, intimacy, and by giving and
receiving affection.
9. Reality Testing: The ability to assess the correspondence between what is emotionally
experienced and what objectively exists
10. Flexibility: The ability to adjust one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior to
changing situations and conditions.
11. Problem Solving: The ability to identify and define problems as well as to generate
and implement potentially effective solutions.
12. Stress Tolerance: The ability to withstand adverse events, stressful situations, and
strong emotions without “falling apart” by actively and positively coping with stress
13. Impulse Control: The ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive, or temptation to act,
and to control one’s emotions
14. Optimism: The ability to look at the brighter side of life and to maintain a positive
attitude even in the face of adversity.
15. Happiness: The ability to feel satisfied with one’s life, to enjoy oneself and others, and
to have fun and express positive feelings
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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MORE TECHNIQUES FOR IMPROVING
EMOTIONAL COMPETENCY:

Improve the accuracy of your perceptions by uncovering biases. For example,
suppose you anticipate tension at a certain meeting. Before the meeting, write a
paragraph about how you view the situation. During the meeting, adopt the attitude of
trying to understand the other person’s concerns and take some notes about what you
are learning from the other person. Ask yourself: “What assumptions, biases, or other
perspectives did I realize about the person I was communicating with?”
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Adapt your communication style to your audience. When you are preparing to
communicate a message consider: ‘What will be the most effective way to communicate
my message? What preparation do I need to make sure my message has the desired
outcome?”
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To increase your competency in managing conflicts, bring disagreements out into
the open. Become more aware of and aim to better understand other people’s points of
view.
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Be proactive rather than reactive
Daniel Feldman describes a useful, easy-to-remember technique to help individuals
operate with high emotional competencies:
1. Pause before you react to a situation.
2. Reflect on what is behind any emotion or reaction you are experiencing
3. Choose the appropriate thoughts and actions that will make the situation turn out
well.
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Cultivate realistic optimism. For example, adopt more optimistic self-talk.
Excerpted from Personal and Executive Coaching
by Jeffery Auerbach, Ph.D
Mary O’Neill, MA, MFT
Speaking, Training and Consulting
Phone: 415-488-1805
www.GreatDentalTeams.com
Email: [email protected]
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