Free of Bullying
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma
1
You and your child are going to write invitations
to your child’s birthday party. Your child doesn’t
want Emma from her class to come to the party,
be-cause "she always wants to be the boss of
everything, and she’s not going to be the boss of
my birthday". What should you do?
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma
2
You meet one of the other parents from school in the
su-permarket. She tells you that she had to pick up her
son, Brian, from school because he had a bloody nose,
and that Karl smacked Brian in the face. She also tells
you that Karl has punched and kicked other pupils as
well. She’s now planning to phone the school and
demand that they do something so that children can be
safe when they’re in school. She says it might be best
if Karl left the class. What should you do?
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma
3
Your daughter has been upset all week. She thinks that
a group of girls won’t ‘let her join’ – not even Camilla,
who’s her friend. At the weekend, Camilla phones and
asks you if your daughter can come out to play. You really want to say no, because you want to protect your
daughter from potential humiliation.
What should you do?
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma
4
You’re going to hold a birthday party, and the entire
class have been invited. The day before, Oliver’s mum
rang you and told you that Oliver is having a hard time
in class. He doesn’t have anyone to play with. At the
party, Oliver sits alone at the coffee table. You suggest
that he might like to go and sit at one of the other
tables, but he doesn’t want to. When you ask the
children at the next table if some of them could move
across and sit with Oliver, they all go quiet.
What can you do to help Oliver?
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma
5
The mother of a boy in your child’s class phones and
tells you that your son has been involved in harassing her son. Four boys had agreed to go along to
the youth club together, but three of them ran off and
left the fourth on his own. You don’t even rec-ognise
your son from the description she gives you. What do
you tell the woman, and what do you do next?
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma
6
Your daughter tells you that a new girl has joined
her class. Over the first few days, the girl sat with
her hood over her head, staring down at the table.
It’s been four weeks now, and the other kids are
finding that the new girl is very reserved. She often
sits on her own at breaktimes and reads books.
When the other girls ask whether she’d like to join
them, she always says no. Now your daughter is
saying that she’s not go-ing to bother trying to talk
to the new girl any more. What should you do?
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma
7
The school is hosting a meal for parents. When
you arrive, you see two sets of parents that you
really get on with are sitting together at a table and
chatting. But as you’re on your way over there, you
see another set of parents sitting alone. They’re
new to the class be-cause their son only came to
the school a month ago. What should you do?
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma
8
The teacher of your child’s class has laid down a few
rules on pupils’ use of mobile phones in class.Your
child has bro-ken these rules, so the teacher has
confiscated your child’s phone for two days. You don’t
agree with the teacher’s decision because your child
needs his phone so that you can stay in touch with one
another throughout the day. What should you do?
Dilemma cards for parents
Dilemma 9
Dilemma cards for parents
HOW TO USE THE DILEMMA CARDS
Purpose:
The dilemma cards are designed to create
constructive discussions between parents
at the school. Their aim is to establish a
positive parental stance against bullying and
loneli-ness among pupils.
The dilemma cards describe situations
which parents may face and which require
them to relate to a variety of approaches.
The dilemma cards are one of the elements
of the Free of Bullying suitcase for schools.
Method:
Ask the parents to discuss each dilemma in
groups, but be aware that there’s no list of set
answers. Therefore, the intention isn’t to persuade the parents to all agree on a solution.
Rather, they should discover that there are
a number of potential resolutions to a dilemma.
Background:
The dilemma cards place emphasis on the
role of parents as regards bullying at school.
Research has shown that the social environment among parents is very significant to
how children get along with one another.
Therefore, it is a good idea to thoroughly
"mix up" the group of parents. This can be
achieved with class events and parties, among
other things – but discussion following on
from use of the dilemma cards at parents’
meetings is another way of achieving this.
Dilemma cards – the rules
1. Tell the parents in attendance what the purpose of the dilemma cards is. If
you like, read out How to use the dilemma cards.
2. Divide the participants into groups of 4-5 people. If both parents of a child are
present, split them up into two separate groups.
3. Shuffle the dilemma cards and place them on the table, face down. The
members of the group take it in turns to take a dilemma card.
4. One person takes a card. Give that person a few moments to think about the question,
then ask them to say how they would immediately deal with the dilemma.
5. The card is then passed on to the next person, who gives their opinion.
Repeat this until everyone has had their say.
6. Once the card has been passed round to everyone, you can then open the
floor to ques-tions and discussion. It is important to maintain a constructive and
respectful tone for the discussion, and to allow everyone to have their say.