MY LOVED ONE HAS COMPLETED
HIS PROGRAM AND WHAT NEXT?
After a rehabilitation
program has been completed
the biggest question that
parents are faced with is
WHAT NOW!
We are here to fill that gap to
give the parent or sponsor peace
of mind
Our program is based to help ease
the parents concerns about when
their loved one leaves a
treatment program.
For the recovering addict it is
imperative to remain accountable
and to earn that trust again. For
the parents a program is needed to
help them reinforce these
boundaries.
PASSPORT
It is a record of sobriety.
Needs to be kept up to date and
enforced by the parent. A record
of clean time is a record of
building trust, which the addict
is having to do.
This passport is for the parent to
check that their son/daughter is
being regularly tested and that
there is proof of this.
More clean time is more winning in
the fight of addiction.
As parents/sponsors it is
important that your worries be
eased.
Our program allows this to
happen. Regular testing is the
key, an addicts word is not
always sufficient, a test doesn’t
lie.
The recovering addict needs to
be tested once a week at random
intervals, not of his/her
choosing
After leaving a centre, the
recovering addict is always going
to want his freedom, as a parent
this will bring unease, there is a
solution, test him before he or
she leaves and on his or her
return.
This will alleviate some of that
concern and for the addict
reinforce the fact that they will
be tested
This is a key and integral part
for a parent, this is a boundary
of such, stating that if the
recovering addict wants to go
out with friends or to a venue,
then he/she is faced with a
test.
When leaving a treatment centre
firm consequences need to be put
down should the patient relapse.
This adds a bit of comfort to the
parent.
Consequences should be signed off
by the patient and the parents or
loved one.
EG – court order stating that should the patient relapse
then the parents don’t have to get involved , rather the
police can come in and take the addict to a place pre
determined in the court order.
It is important to note that a court order should not be
taken lightly, it is a standard 3 year deal.
( Postponement Order Section 23 (1) of the Drug
Dependency And Treatment Act Number 20 Of 92)
As parents it is important to stand
for what needs to be stood for. In
the past the loved one has abused
their family and once leaving a
centre the family feels well they’ve
done a program and they should be
fixed, this is not true. The World
Health Organisation recognises
addiction as a disease that can be
managed not cured
It is a continuous battle that is
fought to the day the addict dies.
The misconception that when the
addict leaves a centre that
everything is going to be smooth
sailing is detrimental to the
recovery of the addict.
It might be hard for you to stand
firm as a parent because the addict
has gone through the program and he
or she now says that they’ve done
their time and now they can do what
they want and carry on with their
lives. Don’t be fooled by this, this
is the freedom that got them into
trouble in the first place.
Stand firm and lay down the rules,
the addict needs to know that you
are not going to put up with the
behaviour that they used to
exhibit. They are not going to
like it and will probably argue
but at the end of the day things
need to change in order to fight
this disease effectively
accountability is key
You need to reinforce that it is not
going to be the same as before and
the emotional abuse and turmoil that
you have already been put through is
not acceptable and will not happen
again. You as a parent have a right
to stand up for this…. The abuse
must stop.
You as a parent have a right to live
a life, as a parent you feel
obligated to continue to be there
for your child, this is all fair and
good but this is the very thing that
the addict manipulated in the past…
It’s time for new experiences and
even though it might be hard it is
necessary for your welfare and your
child’s.
So be clear and firm on the rules
and make sure all relevant people
know where they stand. As the parent
you need to stand by these and not
give into any form of compromise.
That compromise could be your
undoing, an addict will abuse any
opportunity they can to get what
they want. If you fall into this
trap the results could be exactly as
they were before and the pain and
abuse will begin again.(insane behaviour...doing
the same thing over and over again expecting a different result )
This is hard to hear but IT IS THE
REALITY OF ADDICTION!
If your child is not prepared to
live under these conditions then at
the end of the day they are not
prepared to do what it takes to get
recovery. This is harsh but true.
Addiction is a disease that is a
continuous battle and the chances
and percentages of recovery do not
favour the addict, these statistics
don’t lie.
So do what you need to do, this
at the end of the day is to the
benefit of your child.
As Addicts, we need all the help
we can get even if we don’t want
to ask for it.