Coaching Teams in Real Time
Deborah Lipman Slobodnik, Principal
May 3,2011
Options for Change • 780 Boylston Street #14C • Boston, MA 01950 • USA
Telephone 857-233-5616 • Email [email protected]
So…What Can We Do in One Hour?
We can begin to discuss:
1. Your most important role as team leader
2. How to introduce and reinforce healthy team habits
3. How to build a healthy and committed virtual team
4. The difference between healthy and dysfunctional
conflict and best practices for dealing with it
5. Best practices for efficient decision making and how
to test for real buy in
6. Strategies for developing accountability and nonblaming behavior
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What Makes Me Qualified?
• Co-Founder and principal, Options for Change, 25
years experience developing leaders, building teams,
managing change
• Selected by clients and colleagues as one of the Top
10 Executive Coaches in the Boston area
• Trained and coached other consultants and
professionals on change, teams and coaching
• Developed over 600 pages of proprietary strategic
and tactical tools and training on the web for:
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Culture change
Change management
Executive coaching
Team coaching
• OFC has worked with over 500 organizations and
1000 leaders and teams
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Let’s Make this a Conversation
• Webinars do not have to be one sided lectures
• Here’s my proposal to keep it interesting and to
get the most out of it
• Rules of Engagement:
– Participate in the reflections/exercises
– Ask spontaneous questions; identify yourself by first
name
– Feel free to follow up with me with questions or
comments
– Contact info is on the cover
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Team Coaching Is……………
• Naming and interrupting behaviors that derail a team’s
performance
• A systemic framing of the problem so that no one gets
thrown under the bus, with a few exceptions
• Making the team aware of its own good and bad habits
so they can be sustained and transferred to other
venues
• Increasing team’s performance and results by as much
as 33-50% (recent research has shown 91%) by building
trust, collaboration and respect for diverse perspectives
in order to meet their common goals
• What impact have you seen connecting bad behaviors
and performance outcomes?
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How Does It Happen?
1. Team leader owns and models the role of mirror, coach
or facilitator
2. Teams develop a process, starting with a simple Rules
of Engagement discussion
3. Team leader reinforces agreements and builds in a
process for reflecting, acknowledging and improving
their collective behavior
4. It is a very small investment of time but you can’t afford
not to do it
5. Why do you think that dealing with team behaviors,
even dysfunctional ones, is usually avoided?
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It Starts with the Team Leader
Mover
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Supporter
Does:
Initiate actions
Propose ideas
Take responsibility
Speak their truth
Facilitate meetings
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Says:
“I propose the
following.”
“I have an idea.”
“Let’s take a vote.”
“Would anyone like to
volunteer?”
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Does:
Piggyback on creative ideas
Promote popular solutions
Listen to and understand
others’ ideas
Support team decisions
Says:
“That’s a great idea”
“We decided”
“I’ll try that”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Let me see if I understand
what you just said.”
Based on the Kantor System Typology and Communicational Domains™ - used by permission
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Having Agility and Owning All Roles
Challenger
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Mirror
Does:
Does:
Add divergent viewpoints
Oppose popular opinions
Play devil’s advocate
Says:
“Let me play the devil’s
advocate.”
“I have another idea.”
“I don’t think that will work.”
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Observe
Reflect
Correct
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Says:
“Let’s revisit that decision.”
“What worked? What didn’t?”
“Let’s do a process check.”
“Am I the only one who’s
frustrated with this discussion?”
Based on the Kantor System Typology and Communicational Domains™ - used by permission
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Here’s a Example……………
• Team of 10, all high powered execs, no time, lots of
excuses for not meeting, working in silos
• Team leader, CEO, introduces list of “expected
behaviors” at early stages of team formation
• At end of each meeting, he handed out a “Quick Check”,
did we do what we said we would do, i.e.: follow
“expected behaviors”?
• First 10 minutes of every meeting were spent, looking at
results of “Quick Check” and reinforcing behaviors
• His team had collective results of behaviors linked to
performance reviews, along with goals and objectives
• Did this work only because the CEO was driving it?
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Quick Check
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(worst)
(poor)
(fair)
(OK)
(good)
(very
good)
(excellent)
Comments
Productivity
Interest
Focus
Facilitation
Topics
covered
Dialogue
Decisions
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Here’s another Example……………
• Team leader of a cross-functional project team
introduced Rules of Engagement at first meeting
• Included her role as team “mirror”
• Also, built follow up into the team’s Rules using
FasTeams® survey quarterly
• Reported back to team what they were doing well, not
doing well, as discussion opener
• Team members learned self awareness, mutual
accountability and some individuals called out by the
team for repeated violations
• Bar was raised for team and members, who carried the
practice back to their departments
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An Another………………..
• A first time PM led a very large team which included her
boss as well as his boss
• After taking my course (shameless self promotion, I
know) she very bravely included the Rules of
Engagement in her team launch
• She held her team to their agreements and even had a
“difficult conversation” with her boss who was not
following through with promises
• Result was the team got an award in the company for
best results, on time and under budget. She presented
her approach at an event
• Bottom line: It takes courage to be a leader
• Any other examples of good team coaching?
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Start with the Rules of Engagement
Description: Set up team ground rules in 6 areas
Steps:
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Basic Courtesies
Operating Agreements
Problem Solving and Decision Making
Accountability
Conflict Resolution
Leader’s Role
• Here are a few ground rules for practical Rules
– No more than 8
– Avoid the usual suspects, names the dysfunctional patterns
culturally or predictably
– Make them observable behaviors and be concise
• What are some examples of good Rules you’ve followed?
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Keep the Conversation Going………….
“Do what you can with what you have, where you are”, Theodore Roosevelt
• Find a strategy for opening the discussion:
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Consider the impact of doing nothing:
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Surveys
Process checks
Your own reactions
Take it off line
Use a 3rd party
Significantly decreased productivity
Morale and motivation
Absenteeism
Collaboration
Disengaged resources
Weak leadership
Walk into the danger
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Give feedback
Provide solutions, best practices for correcting
Normalize, don’t judge
Hold individuals and whole team accountable
Link bad behavior to results
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What Doesn’t Work
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Ignoring
Passing the buck
Delaying difficult conversations
Hoping it will pass in time
Thinking you are not part of the problem
Not acknowledging that it’s your role and others are
counting on you to do it
• Giving into fear
• What else doesn’t work?
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Names of Common Team Dysfunctions
• “The Nod” – appearing to go along in public,
then doing what you wanted to anyway
• “Scope Creep” – I never met an idea I didn’t like
• “Rat Hole”- going off on a tangent
• “Hub & Spoke” – everything revolves around the
leader
• “Elephant in the Room” – avoiding the important
issue
• Do you have pet names to acknowledge your
dysfunctions?
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Common Team Traps/Dysfunctions
• False Consensus
• Inability to Reach
Closure
• Rigid Hierarchy
• Weak Leadership
• Uneven Participation
• Lack of Cohesion
• Lack of Mutual
Accountability
• Unrealistic Expectations
• Forgotten Customer
• Left Out Stakeholders
• Overt Conflict
• Covert Conflict
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The Big Three
• Conflict
• Decision Making
• Accountability
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Constructive Conflicts
Some conflicts are normal:
• Differing needs and goals
• Role confusion
• Creative differences
• Different personalities and cultures
• Stress
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Dysfunctional Conflict
Conflict becomes dysfunctional when it:
• Becomes habitual between certain team
members
• Becomes uncomfortable or creates coalitions on
the team
• Becomes personal, blaming
• Is aimed at members of a certain minority group
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Words that Escalate
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You always…………
You never……………
The facts are………..
You did……………
You felt………….
You were wrong about…………
We all feel……………
What do all these phrases have in
common?
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Words that Build Bridges
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Tell me your perspective………….
What I heard you say was…………
I understand………….
My perspective is…………..
I’m sorry for………………..
What do you need from me?
What I can do differently is………..
Where do we go from here?
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Best Practice: “24” Hour Rule
Description: Resolve conflict directly and quickly
1. “Injured” party initiates talk, first reflects on their
part in the conflict
2. Both parties give their perspective
3. Both parties listen non-defensively to the other
and acknowledge each other’s “truth”
4. Both clarify any misconceptions and agree on
what they need to do to move on and let it go
5. Both agree to a neutral 3rd party if unresolved
What benefits would the 24 Hour Rule have?
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Conflict: 3rd Party Mediation
Description: Resolve with a neutral third party
Steps:
1. Get a commitment to resolve
2. Clear the air
3. Get joint ownership
4. Separate assumptions from behavior
5. Agree on moving forward
6. Find common ground
7. Close on a positive note
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Use These Universal Guidelines
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Show respect
Listen and understand
Build bridges, don’t escalate
Establish and maintain your credibility
Take the high road
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Situational Continuum for Team Decisions
D1: Decide and Announce / No Input
D2: Decide and Announce / Input from key
individuals
D3: Decide and Announce / Input from whole team
D4: Modified Consensus / Some agreement and full
support
D5 : Consensus / Full agreement and full support
How should most decisions be made on a team?
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Consensus Decision Making
• Consensus is not unanimity or full agreement
• It is the result of a conversation that everyone
can support
• Support comes after honest discussion where
everyone's opinion is heard and respected
• Polling after the decision is reached strengthens
support
• Verbalizing support has been shown to
strengthen the commitment
• What are the biggest problems you see in
consensus decision making?
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Are You Getting Real Buy In?
• Are they saying one thing but doing another?
• Is there a real commitment to action?
• Is there an authentic declaration of support
and resources?
• Is there a partnership formed?
• Is there positive energy moving forward?
• Do they see what’s in it for them?
• Do they follow through on their promises?
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False Consensus: What Does it Look Like?
• Espoused “Buy in”
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Stalling
Inattention and other non-verbal cues
Excuses
Constrained resources
Flight to health
Complying
Blaming
The “Nod’
Denial, can’t change what you can’t acknowledge
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Best Practices for Reaching True Consensus
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Diverge:
– Setup: Frame question or issue and timeline limits
– Round robin brainstorming
– Open discussion with even participation
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Converge:
– Summarize top options
– Consensus or modified consensus
– Opinion polling for support, verbal agreement or
dissent
– Agreements moving forward
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Best Practices for Reaching True Consensus
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Diverge:
– Setup: Frame question or issue and timeline limits
– Round robin brainstorming
– Open discussion with even participation
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Converge:
– Summarize top options
– Consensus or modified consensus
– Opinion polling for support, verbal agreement or
dissent
– Agreements moving forward
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Other Best Practices: The Oz Principle
• The Oz Principle:
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Above the Line: Personal Accountability
Do it
Solve it
Own it
See it
• Below the Line: The Blame Game
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Wait & See
Confusion; Tell me what to do
It’s not my job
Ignore/Deny
Finger pointing
Cover your tail
Other excuses you or others have used?
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Managing Across Offices
Three legs of the stool
• People – create strong relationships
• Purpose – set clear goals
• Links – use robust communication processes
– Credit to Jeff Stamps and Jessica Lipnack
• How many of you are NOT dealing with virtual, crossfunctional or dispersed teams?
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Managing Across Offices
Best Practices
• Maintain a high level of contact – encourage 2-way communication
• Formalize processes for managing meetings, concalls and email, sharing
information, storing documents
• Leverage technology effectively – collaboration tools, virtual work spaces,
videoconferences – provide training and support
• “Manage by results rather than presence” – organize work effectively
• Summarize issues and communicate daily
• Plan critical or difficult conversations for face-to-face meetings, when
possible
• Create social networks to develop relationships among team members
• Create a corporate culture that is portable, i.e., celebrate birthdays or
successes
• Take to the road and visit remote locations, when possible
• Plan team retreats once or twice a year
• Hire self starters, when possible
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