Creating Calm
As in your home, teachers strive to achieve a loving classroom environment filled with mutual
respect and cooperation. What is that you say? Your home is not always a peaceful haven.
Here are some tips to get through the little "battles" that might occur, as suggested by these
books: Screamfree Parenting, Raising Your Kids By Keeping Your Cool and Raising A Sensory
Smart Child.
The first thing to think about is that parenting is not about kids; it is about parents. The focus
should be on your own behavior because that is really all we can control! Keeping your
emotions calm during stressful situations allows you to create better relationships and
increases your chance of being a positive role model.
Children need to know that they control their own behavior. Set up clear expectations for
behavior and consequences. Allow your children to solve their own problems and learn
consequences for behavior choices. With playground issues, ask your children what they can
do to avoid the problem in the future. Support their solution and ask if it worked. If not, ask
what they can try next time. This supports our children's development into self-reliant adults.
If homework issues arise, "battles" can occur. Allowing your children to take responsibility for
the neatness and completeness of their own homework increases positive feelings around
homework. Homework is supposed to make them struggle a bit, in order to teach them to
solve their own problems. To prepare for this task, have downtime scheduled before beginning
homework including a high-protein snack to boost brainpower. First graders may need you to
read and explain homework directions. Give your children the opportunity to invite you to help
them. You could say, "Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you."
Here are some other suggestions to help create a calm environment:
 Ask yourself questions: What motivates my child? What do they really want? What
questions can I ask that will help them discover and explore their desires? You might
try simple reward systems with clear expectations. Some rewards might be to choose
a video to rent, go for a walk with a loved one, choose the dinner menu, choose a new
book from the book order forms.
 Give specific praise for attempts and solutions. Although it sounds strange, avoid
saying "I'm proud of you." too much. How you respond to your children makes a big
difference in their self-concept. Try instead, "How do you feel when you finish your
homework?" Then acknowledge their feelings and reinforce how good they feel about
themselves. You want the feeling of accomplishment to be an intrinsic reward for
doing their homework. They should want to learn and feel good for them, not to make
you proud.
 Use a kitchen timer to set aside time in which to complete tasks.
Morning sets the tone for the entire day. Avoid rushing, disorganization, and harsh words at
this time of day. Eat a healthy breakfast before school as well. You can create daily picture
schedules with your child by taking photographs of your child doing specific activities like
brushing his/her teeth, or cut out pictures from old magazines of items that will symbolize
tasks (like a toothbrush), or just have your child draw pictures for the activity. This puts the
responsibility and control in your child's hand and all you need to ask is "What is next on your
schedule?"
Encourage your children to make an attempt at their homework; but if they become
frustrated, write a note on the homework and we can address the issue at school. We want
parents to keep learning fun. You can have conversations with your children. Take turns
making up poems and telling stories to each other. Play games and enjoy each other's
company. Let's try to change our focus from "picking our battles", to creating calm and loving
relationships.
Clipart from PhillipMartin.info