'Day by Day'
10th November, Monday
Dear Diary!
I have got a big trouble. I'm seriously afraid that the punishment will be terrible. Actually,
I'm terrified. If I had known this would end like this, I wouldn't have even got up that day. It wasn't
my fault but I'm sure I'll be punished! Well, maybe it was, but not only mine! She is guilty too!
Especially thatit was her who started the conflict. But guess who will be guilty for everything! Me!
Only because I've had problems with being polite at school before. Bad opinion is the worst thing.
Whatever you do, they won't believe you. They wouldn't change their mind, even if you started
behaving like an angel. If only I had known that it will end like this!
All my trouble started very innocently. After lessons I went to my football training. I have
had a very bad day, so I was happy about playing. It always helped me.
Anna also attends this training. We are both the best players in our team, maybe that is why
we don't really like each other. Our games are all about rivarly. I can't stand when she is better than
me! And I suppose she reacts the same way when I score a goal. We usually play in opposite teams
at trainings, because we both like being a boss in the team and, as everybody knows, there can't be
more than one captain. Too many cooks spoil the broth, unfortunately. Maybe if we hadn't competed
compete so much, this wouldn't have happened.
This time we also played in opposite teams. I was alone in the front of the goal. Only me and
the goalkeeper. I felt I would score a goal! I would have done it, if Anna hadn't appeared. She was
very determined to take the ball! But I was determined too! I was doing almost everything in order
not to give her a chance to win! But she did the worst thing... She just pushed and kicked me! This
wasn't fair! I fell over and missed a chance to score a goal! I heard my team's groan of
disappointment. I was just lying and waiting for the coach's whistle. Some people from my team
stopped playing and started shouting that we should have a penalty because of the foul. But our
coach didn't noticed anything. She said I had just fallen over. We were trying to discuss but it didn't
work. The match ended. Anna's team won. I was so angry! They won but they didn't play better than
us! And she also wasn't polite and brave enough to admit that she hit me. I was so furious!
Later, in the pavilion girls from my team told me that our coach should have seen it. We
were angry and sad. This wasn't an important match, just a training, but it was all about justice. Our
coach usually was a real good refree, so we were really surprised that she hadn't noticed anything.
While we were discussing, Anna's team came in. However, she wasn't with them. I thought she
might be afraid of coming here. If I were her, I would be. I was sure she was afraid of my excuses,
but to my surprise, after a few minutes, she came in and didn't seem to feel even a little guilty.
'Why did you do this?', I asked.
'Do what?', she replied.
'You hit me! I didn't think you like playing unfair', I shouted.
'Hit you? What a great joke!', she laughed. 'It's not my fault that you just stumbled on the ball!'
I was furious. She was such a liar! She couldn't apologise! I was so mad that I stopped controlling
myself. I still don't know what happened to me... I hit her. It wasn't a strong smash but I saw lots of
blood dripping from her nose... It was silent in the room. I wanted to apologise Anna. We were both
very shocked. I couldn't say a word... Suddenly, our teacher came in.
'What's going on here?', she asked. She noticed Anna's nose. She was so mad. She couldn't believe
that I could to this. I was trying to explain that it wasn't only my fault, that Anna provoked me. I
saw the disappointment in her eyes. She didn't believe me. Anna was a better student, one of the
polite ones. I am sure she believes her, not me. She said:
'Joanna, I didn't expect you to be such an aggresive person. You should have come to me and tell me
about everything, if she had provoked you! Violence is not allowed here. I will think about
punishment for both of you. But I am sure you won't play in my team anymore'.
She went out. I burst into tears. Some girls went to the coach to explain the situation. I
quickly ran home.
I can't imagine my life without football! I am sure that Anna will avoid punishment. She will
play in the next match and do her best. After that, no one will remember about me as a good player.
Tomorrow our conflict we'll be the main subjects of talks and gossips at school. I can
imagine what sort of things they will be saying about me... I'm so sad... But the worst thing will be
meeting with my coach. I'm afraid of the other punishment she may think of. I have no idea about
worse punishment than throwing away from football team, but it seemed that Mrs Tomaszewska can
finde one. I hate my stupid life! I hate Anna!
13th November, Tuesday
Dear Diary!
Unbelievable! Justice is in the world! We are BOTH punished. Anna will pay for all she did.
The same as me! She was very surprised when she heard about this. I love Mrs Tomaszewska! I am
really happy, 'cause I thought the punishment will be worse. But it is the best one! I am still in the
team, just won't play in the next match. Neither will Anna. We will also have to do some social
works. They will tell us tomorrow what exactly we will have to do. Our coach also ordered us to
solve our problem as fast as we could. We promised to do this on our own, after we left her room.
As soon as we came out, we just went away without a word. I don't know how are workship in the
team will look like...
My parent were called by the coach. They aren't pleased with the result of the meeting. I told
them about the situation from my point of view; they believe me. This is good. Their reaction is
better than I supposed. They just told me that I should control myself., try to solve problems in
more polite way, not to hurt anyone. Now I'm sure, I'll think twice before I do something. They also
told me to apologise Anna... No way! Although I know I'm guilty, I am not going to apologise her
first. She should do this. If she hadn't pushed me, we wouldn't have had problems.
14th November, Wednesday
Dear Diary!
I didn't think that the whole story would end up like this. Our coach told us to go to the local
hospital to entertain ill children there. Actually, I was very surprised when I heard about this
'punishment'. It could be worst and it would be, but there were too few people in our school who
wanted to work as a volunteer. This was very disappointing for me. I thought there are so many
people who like helping... Sad. We did something bad, so we are supposed to help somebody in
return. It's our 'punishment'. What an irony...
Anyway, I'm really happy, I will play in the team again and I won't be punished as hard as I
thought I would be. My mum wasn't as happy as me, though. She told me that being a volunteer in
hospital was not as easy as I thought. I think it's still better than being thrown away from the team.
Reading fairy tails or joking is much easier than other volunteer jobs.
16th November, Friday
Dear Diary!
Today I went for the first time to the hospital. We met other volunteers who were really
happy that we joined them. One of them, Piotr, explained to us more or less how the work looked
like. Now I know, that I was wrong when I thought it would be a nice and peaceful job. To my
surprise, Piotr told us that we were going to work with seriously ill children, the ones who have got
cancer. We are supposed to help them forget about their illness and make them happy for some time.
He divided us into pairs. Fortunately, I wasn't with Anna, I was with Piotr. He told me to go to the
ward nr 3 and wait for him few minutes because he had to do something important before. I went
there.
'Hi', I said to the children and smiled. They replied. I had no idea what I should do with them. I
couldn't stop thinking about their illness... They looked so miserable...One of them hadn't got hair...
I became so sad, that I was about to cry... Why such little children have to suffer so much? They
should have fun outside, spend time with their friends, not thinking about death! I was sitting there
and saying some things without any sense... Fortunately, Piotr came. His attitude was completely
diffrent. He treated them as normal children. We started playing some board games and were having
a lot of fun. Piotr made them laugh. They were so happy! Unblievable. They didn't look so
miserable as when I came. Piotr was joking all the time and was so easy-going, so even I started
laughing. After we finished the work I asked him how it was possible for him to treat them like
normal children. I also said it was hard for me... He told me that he behaved the same way at first.
He advised me to forget about their illness and treat as if they were my siblings... But is is possible?
I don't know.
One more thing happened today. I was waiting for my mother when I saw Anna and Piotr
coming out the hospital. They came to me. Peter told us:
'We don't have many people who want to work here, because when they hear about children with
cancer, they don't want to cooperate. They prefer children who are just for a few days in hospital,
not the ones who can die... That's why I appreciate that you and Anna are here. Very nice of you.'
I looked at Anna and we both smiled timidly... What could we say? Nothing. If only he knew that
we are there just because we argued! Anyway, I'm sure that this job isn't as easy as I thought it
would be. I am really curious how Anna is feeling about this. I would ask her... But we don't talk to
each other. She was avoiding me all the day, except this one situation with Piotr.
17th November, Saturday
Dear Diary!
Our team lost the game yesterday. Next week there is the last match this year. If we want to
win the city league, we have to be really concentrated and work hard. It is our last chance.
Fortunately, I'm allowed to play again. Yeees! I went to the training today and had great time! Anna
also came. But we avoided being close during the match. I love football! I really needed to play
again with my team! I love the adrenaline before the match! We are going to show them who is
better! They have no chance!
What a day! After the training, I was waiting for my mother to give me a lift to the hospital!
It was 2 p.m. but she still wasn't at home. Suddenly, I heard a telephone rang. It was my mum. She
couldn't come because our car broke down. So I had to go to the hospital on foot. I was sure I would
be late. When I came there, the frist person I met was Piotr. He smiled at me and said:
'I thought you wouldn't come! But fortunately you are here'
It was so nice of him! I promised myself that I would do my best to entertain the children. No
wondering about their illness, heads without hair and sad eyes! It won't be easy but I'll do
everything to treat them the same way as Piotr.
'And today you are going to work with Anna. Alice didn't come, so she's alone. You'll help her,
because you are both begining, okay?', he asked.
What could I say? I won't tell him that we don't like each other and our cooperation will be a real
distaster because we haven't talked for one week afer a hard argument.
'It's ok', I replied and went to room nr 6, where Anna was.
'Hi', I said. I was really stressed.
'Hi', Anna replied. She was surprised. 'What are you doing here?'
'Peter told me to work with you'.
'Ah... Okay...', Anna said.
Our cooperation wasn't as bad as I supposed. Although at the begining the atmosphere was tense,
after some time we started to getting on very well. Children helped us, they were so happy that we
had come.... Especially the youngest girl, Sonia, who gave me a big hug and wanted me to play
with her dolls. She was only 7, but so clever and funny. After some time, we all coudn't stop
laughing! We were playing lots of games, drawing, even singing! I finally forget that they are ill.
After three hours of great fun, we were all exhausted. Anna suggested that we could read them a
fairy tale. Sonia sat on my lap and I started reading. After few minutes they are fell asleep. Anna
and I quietly left the room. Our work was finished for that day.
'They are so sweet', Anna said.
'Yeah...', I replied. 'They don't even seem to know about their illness'.
Anna looked at me sadly. We were both standing in silence.
'I am sorry', she said suddenly. 'I shouldn't have said that I hadn't fouled you'.
'Oh Anna, I am sorry too! I shouldn't have hit you! It was awful of me!'
We both have tears in our eyes and gave each other a big hug. We were standing there and talking
for a long time. We explained to each other everything – not only the last argument, but also the
way we treated each other since we met for the first time.
21th November, Wednesday
Dear Diary!
I haven't been writing for so long! But I am so busy lately! Busy, but happy! Every time I go
to school, than to the hospital and after that one more time to school for training. Anyway, I do what
I really want to! I was doing my best at the trainigs. I feel appreciated after my coach told me that I
played really well and would surely play in Saturday match. I also spent a lot of time at the hospital.
Everyday I spent a lot of time with Sonia. Maybe it will sound funny, but I feel that we are some
kind of friends, although she is 10 years younger than me. I really enjoy talking with her about
almost everything. She is really mature, although she is just 7. Lately, she told me she loved me. So
sweet... I get on really well with Anna, too. We both understand each other pretty well while
working together. She's a very good colleague. I have to finish! I have to go to the hospital.
I can't believe this.... It's so unfair! It's so sad! I am finally home today, but I'm not happy at
all... I was talking with Piotr about my realtion with Sonia. He told me that Sonia is very ill. That
there is no help for her... She is so little, so beautiful... She can't die! I can't stop thinking about it.
Why life is so unfair! Why?! Why so nice children have to die? All bad people are ok, but such
innocent children have to finish their lives before they actually start them!
It's 1 a.m. I can't sleep. I am thinking about Sonia all the time. I knew she was ill like other
children. But I didn't think it's so bad with her...
22th November, Tuesday
Dear Diary!
My life is really sad now. Sonia asked me yesterday: 'Why are you so sad?'.... I didn't know
what to answer... I thought this job would be so easy. No problems. But it's not like this. I really like
this little girl. I can't just stop thinking about this. I care too much. Anna saw my sadness too. I told
her everything. She was trying to cheer me up, but it didn't work. I can't imagine my life without
Sonia. I talked with a doctor about her. She probably won't live for more than a year. I can't stand it!
It means that her 8th birthday may be the last one... No, I can't believe this!!!
I asked Peter to check when Sonia has got birthday. It's this Saturday. On the day of the
match. I have a problem, because on Saturday I'll have to be at school before the match and I think
it won't be possible to visit Sonia. But... I think I'll come up with something. I won't miss her
birthday! I have to go to the hospital.
I met Sonia's parents. Things are getting more complicated. They invited me to her birthday
party, but they are going to take her home that day. But they live more than 100 km from my city.
And if I go there, I won't play in the match. It's not good. I don't know what I should do... Maybe
just greet her because of birthday tomorrow and play in the match on Saturday? I know I should be
with her...On the other hand, she will be happy with her parents and will forget about me, whereas
my team needs me to win... Ok, the break is over. Time to read a fairy tale to Sonia.
23th November, Friday
Dear Diary!
My coach will kill me. Really. But I made a decision. I won't play in the match tomorrow.
Sonia needs me more than all the people from my team. I will spend that day with her.
I've just called Mrs Tomaszewska and told her about everything. Her reaction was quite
good – she is disappointed, but understands me.
I went to the hospital today and they told me that Sonia's parents had already taken her
home. So I didn't have a chance to give her a gift and tell something. Piotr gave me a letter from
Sonia... I was surprised that she remembered about me. She was so excited that her parents came!
I also thought she is more important for me than I am for her, but I was wrong. Her letter is so
sweet. She wrote: 'I hope you will be with me on my birthday, Joanna'. She also wrote to me a lot of
things that made me both sad and happy. I can't leave her on that day!
I called Anna and told her about everything. She said I had made a good decision and even
offered me to go with me! Really surprising.
I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing. Maybe it's just a child's whim and my team would
lose without me. Maybe. But I don't want to regret anything in my life, so I will go to Sonia
tomorrow.
25th November, Sunday
Dear Diary!
I would remember Sonia happiness for the rest of my life. I would never forget the way she
welcomed me and said: 'Thank you for coming'. I know I did the right thing.
We spent a great time together – we went for a walk, Sonia showed me all the places where
she used to play with her friends. After the long way home, she was really weak and soon we came
back home. We wanted to help their mum, so we made a cake together!
In the evening other volunteers came! It was a big surprise! Sonia blew the candles and we
all sang 'Happy Birthday'. I could see tears in Sonia's mother's eyes. I was crying too. I took a lot of
photos to remember that day forever. 'It was the best day of my life', said Sonia to me later. I gave
her a big hug.
I'm still trying to stop thinking about her illness, but this is impossible. Everytime I look at
her face I can see, how her life is diffrent from other children's. And I still wonder, if it is fair in
some way. To be honest, I still don't see any point in it. It won't give anybody anything, only
sadness and sorrow. I know, it'll be very hard for me to deal with it. I can't even imagine that one
day Sonia will go away... Well, maybe we should think this way – some day eveybody will die.
Maybe... Anyway, I still believe that she'll recover.
My team won. Fortunately. Anna scored 2 goals. Two weeks ago I would be really jealous
about it. Today – I am not at all. I even called her and congratulated on it. She is so happy. So am I.
What a change...
Only two weeks. But I felt like I was reborn. I am sure I will be still working at the hospital.
Although next months may be really hard for me because of Sonia's illness, I'm sure I won't stop
doing this work. It's a great thing to be a volnuteer. I feel that I can help somebody in a very simple
way – just being with him.