SOS
How to write a killer SOS
Here is my list of tips for writing a great one. Keep in mind that SOS is 8
minutes long and is an opportunity for you to do whatever you want. There are
some rules and guidelines that you’ve got to follow, but it’s your blank canvas.
HAVE FUN!!!
1. Read the Persuasion primer!
SOS is sometimes quickly described as “funny persuasion,” and that’s
true…to a point. Make sure that you read the Persuasion primer before
writing your first SOS. Like Persuasion, you will be solving a problem in
your SOS. I can’t stress enough how important that is. You can be the
funniest person in the room, but if your speech is not structurally sound, no
one is going to get it. It’s very important that you are fluent in the structural
guidelines of writing to persuade, but we’ll chat later about how choosing a
topic and writing a Special Occasion Speech is different.
2. Understand how choosing an SOS topic is different!
Okay, once you understand the problem, cause, solution AND cause, effect,
solution formulas, it’s time to decide what you want to talk about.
Remember, your topic is a problem that you are going to solve at the end
of your speech. Keep in mind that an SOS topic itself doesn’t have to be
funny—as a matter of fact it shouldn’t be “funny.” SOS topics are usually
lighter and “fluffier” than persuasion topics. For example, the Housing
Crisis’s effect on Americans below the poverty line would be a terrific
persuasion topic, but it would be a dry dry bitter dry cracker of a topic for
SOS. You can’t easily jazz up topics like taxes, AIDS, health care, or
abortion with funny jokes. However, topics that are more philosophical or
interpersonal are perfect for SOS. Examples of successful past topics
include: American obsession with nostalgia, Why multitasking is bad, Why
speech unwritten rules are lame, Don’t be cocky people, laugh laws (and
humor theory), and success fatigue (people being sick of the Lance
Armstrongs and Tiger Woods of the world always winning).
The other thing to consider when selecting a topic is that it isn’t too broad. It
is much much much easier to solve a specific part of a big problem rather
than the whole big problem itself. For example, if you wanted to solve
health care, I would say a) I already told you you can’t do dry topics like
that at the beginning of the first paragraph and b) that’s waay too much to
solve in 8 minutes! Why don’t you talk about people getting sick because
they are afraid of doctors! Do some research! (Someone already did that
topic too, so don’t get any ideas…) Your speech can’t be broad because
you have to solve it. If you think killer whales are real ugly and that it’s a
problem, and you have 18 sources from the New York Times and The
Guardian and 16 other reputable places saying that killer whales, are, in
fact, terrifyingly ugly, then you still have to find a way to make killer
whales prettier or you don’t have a speech.
Look for SOS topics in magazines like Psychology Today, the Utne Reader,
and other periodicals that have hip fonts on the cover. Also, you can get
ideas from shows like This American Life on NPR or by taking a Cosmo
quiz or from the home screen for MSN or similar websites. These boxes
flash 3 or 4 topics a day! “Women more likely to use singles dating sites” or
“Average wedding now costs $30,000” are both great beginnings of SOS
topics that search engines would probably put on their home page. When
you see an interesting tidbit somewhere in your media-filled world, ask
questions. “Why do women want to find their soul mates more than men?”
and “Why are people so obsessed with weddings?” Suddenly you’ll stumble
upon your thesis! Keep in mind that it’s really smart to email a coach with
your topic ideas before you have half of it written. We can let you know if
someone won nationals the year before with the same topic or if you’re
headed in a tricky or weird direction. But if it all checks out, then…
3. Do some research!
Before you do anything else, find at least 5 sources from the past few
months that talk pretty heavily about your topic. Find out if the problem
you want to solve is solvable (or is still solvable). If the topic you want to
do is dated or on the verge of being figured out, then move on. No matter
how much you love the idea, it will only break your heart later when the
week before nationals it gets solved and is no longer relevant.
Organize your sources. For example, if you are doing a prob.-cause-sol.
speech, then start deciding where you will use each quotation. “Wow!” you
will say. “This quotation by Queen Elizabeth from less than 6 months
ago pretty much solves this whole problem that my thesis talks about!” Put
it in the solution pile. Take all of these sources that you are incredibly
familiar with and…
4. Write an outline!
Because you know the Persuasion primer verbatim by now, it will be easy
for you to outline a problem cause solution or cause effect solution speech,
right? Try it out and email it to a coach. Include notes about the sources you
will be using in each point. It is smart to have at least one source in each
subpoint. Chicago Tribune in Problem 1a, Christian Science Monitor in
Problem 1b, Seventeen in Cause 1a, etc. Also have at least one in your
attention getter.
5. Write an Attention Getter (AG)!
Writing your AG first will make everything easier later. Your AG sets up a
story that will guide the audience through your entire speech. A lot of
people start with a story that involves witnessing or participating in a
fictional example of the topic. For example, if you were writing a speech
about killer whales being ugly (which we can’t solve and thus you’re not
allowed to do), you might say
“The killer whale club at my school has hit some hard times. Our last
fundraiser, Kelp Bake Sale, didn’t go so hot so we tried something new:
Date Auction! Unfortunately, no one wanted to bid on massive sea
monsters. Do you know why? Because they are so ugly! But Mufasa, one of
our eligible bachelor whales, told me that according to the May 22 India
Times, 2 out of 3 killer whales in 2007 was ugly!”
That example was both hastily written and a topic you’re not allowed to do,
but you get the idea. Get the audience’s attention and try to get a laugh
within the first ten or fifteen seconds. Then tie your opening into your first
source (here it was the India Times) which in turn is going to tell everyone
the scope of this problem (2 out of 3?! Kelp bake sale was funny but I’ve
got to hear this!!!) After that first source you can go into persuasion format
and do the thesis and preview (While still being funny)
NOTE: If you have seen or read Special Occasion Speeches, you might
have noticed that a trend exists to begin with the phrase “So the other
day…” I’m not sure how this started, and I was certainly guilty of it in a
couple of my own speeches, but I’m putting the kibosh on “So the other
day…” I think it’s a weak and expected opening line, and you’re going to
have to work harder for laughs later if people hear a generic beginning.
Thank you that is all!
Note #2 This story opening is not the only way to start your SOS. Be
creative! This event gives you so much freedom to do what you like and
what you think is funny. If you want to start with a science experiment, do
it! Don’t set anyone on fire, but go for it!
6. Write a speech!
Now you can write the rest of your speech. Follow the outline and weave in
your “attention getting theme” (like killer whales [except that topic isn’t
allowed]) whenever you can. Don’t worry about being funny while writing
the first draft. It is of course encouraged, but don’t stress if your first draft
doesn’t have a single joke. We can go back after the structure is solid and
joke our faces off. Also, throughout the year we’ll have SOS joke nights
where people can bring their speeches in and bounce ideas off other people.
Just write write write, then read read read to make sure it makes sense, then
send it to a coach for feedback.
7. Write a conclusion!
Now the speech is done and it’s time to wrap it up. Conclusions should be
the shortest, fastest, easiest part to write. Review your main points then
finish off with something witty, cutesy, and/or funny. Make sure you tie
your AG theme back in, as well. Your last line might sound like:
“So today, we figured out how whales can be prettier (Editor’s note: Which
is impossible and this is a hypothetical, off-limits topic) by discussing the
problems, causes, and solutions to their uggo faces. In the end, Mufasa was
right. The date auction was doomed from the start. I guess most people
can’t afford to take a two ton whale out for a sandwich made of 37 seals.”
And that’s it! Your speech is done! You did it! Doesn’t it feel great? Now
you are ready to change minds and tickle funny bones with naught but your
voice and 5 pages of jokes you wrote while drinking way too many sodas!