Managing Teen
Anxiety
Candice Ackerman, PhD
Psychologist & Clinic Director
Flourish Counseling & Mental Wellness Center
Disclaimer
 This is not medical advice, nor does it constitute a therapeutic relationship - this is general
education
 If you have questions about your child (or anyone else you know), please come and talk
to us! We offer free consultations!
What is Anxiety?
 Anxiety can be:
 Restlessness
 ”Normal” anxiety
 When anxiety is a problem
 Excessive worrying
 Difficulty sleeping
 Fatigue
 Difficulty concentrating
 Irritability
 Tense muscles
Other forms of anxiety
 Anger
 Physical Symptoms
 Depression
Why do we get anxious?
 Anxiety is a message to our brain: DANGER! Your life is at stake! Do something!
 Problem: We are rarely in real life-threatening situations anymore, but our mind doesn’t
know the difference if we let it
 Fight versus Flight versus Freeze
 Instinctual responses because now is not the time to be thinking slow (remember, you could die!)
What makes anxiety worse?
 In general:
 Avoidance (Flight)
 Beliefs that reinforce anxiety
 Low self-esteem
 Avoidance also lowers self-esteem
and self-confidence
A typical anxiety episode
Intensity
Anxiety Episodes Over Time
Normal Episode
Avoidance
5 min
10 min
12 min
20 min
Rational vs. Emotional Mind
Emotional
Healthy
Mindset
Fear
Brain Stem
Rational
Calm
All Parts
Prefrontal Cortex
Negative self-talk
 Our emotional brain is very
good at coming up with
”drama”
 “I can’t do this”
 ”I will always be this way”
 “I’m weird”
The problem for teens:
 The rational brain is not
completely online yet!
 i.e. Life is more drama-filled
Okay, so what do I DO about it?
 Things to not say:
 “Calm down”
 “Suck it up”
 “Its all in your head”
 “I know how you feel”
 “Its really not a big deal”
 “What do you have to worry
about?”
 “Why can’t you just ____________?”
 “Did I do something wrong?”
Responding to Anxiety
 Ask questions
 The art of listening
 Express understanding
Asking Questions
 Help your teen verbalize what
is going on for them
 “What happened?”
 “What’s going on for you right
now?”
 “What are you feeling?”
 By increasing verbalization of
feelings, their rational brain can
come back online
The Art of Listening and Understanding
 First: Listening is HARD!
 Listening can consist of:
 “Minimal encouragers”
 “Yes” “Uh-huh” “Whoa!”
 Paraphrase
 Repeat back what they just said to
you
 Reflection (of empathy/emotion)
 “That sounds so hard!”
 ”It sounds like this really worries you.”
How to work to your teen
 FIRST: You do not need to know all of the answers! Listen to understand, not to
reply
 “How can I help?”
 Normalize anxiety, but do not enable avoidance. “Its okay to be anxious!”
 Unconditional Positive Support and Love
 Speaking to anxiety as separate from your teen
 Encourage a discussion of thoughts, emotions, feelings, “give me the play-byplay” to bring the prefrontal cortex back online
When therapy is a good idea
 Anxiety is affecting school performance, relationships with other people, health,
ability to have fun/relax
 Basically, anxiety is causing your teen a sense of paralysis
 Therapy helps encourage this process of “uncovering” what is going on in our
heads – once we know and understand our fears, it is easier to work with them
 If your teen has no one to talk to (because lets face it, some teens don’t want to
talk to their parents)
 Repeated attempts to try and relieve anxiety with no success
Questions?
[email protected]
Call or visit us online! 512-237-7326 or www.flourishcounselingcenter.com