RUPTURE
Rememberthatfixingtherupturesarewhatwillholdyoutogether.Theconflictthatyou’rehavingnowiswhatcannurtureandevensaveyour
relationship.Don’tletitslipby.(Seeinstructionsonotherside)
TurnCardOverForInstructions
2PossibilitiesforWhenWeCouldDiscussthisissue:
Preparation(thissideisforpartnergivingthecard)
1. 1. Understandwhythisisimportanttoyou.
2. a. What’satstakeforyou?
Preparation(TurnCardOverforInstructions)
b. Whatisthefearorworstcasescenario?
1. Understandwhythisisimportanttoyou.
c. What’syourhistory(bothbeforeyourpartner&
a. What’satstakeforyou?
withyourpartner?
b. Whatisthefearorworstcasescenario?
2. Yourperspectiveisvalid.Youneedtoembracethat.
c. What’syourhistory(bothbeforeyourpartner&
Yourpartner’srealityisalsovalid.Ifyoueverwantto
withyourpartner?
beunderstood–you’vegottokeepanopenmind.
2. Yourperspectiveisvalid.Youneedtoembracethat.
3. Figureoutatimetotalkaboutthis.(seeinstructionson
Yourpartner’srealityisalsovalid.Ifyoueverwantto
back)
beunderstood–you’vegottokeepanopenmind.
3. Figureoutifatimeyourpartnerwroteabovewillwork
TheTalk
foryou.
1. Giveyourpartneroneappreciation(Iknowthisishard
TheTalk
–butyouwantthisconversationtogobetterthan
1. Giveyourpartneroneappreciation(Iknowthisishard
before.Justdoit.
–butyouwantthisconversationtogobetterthan
2. Eachpartnertakesturnexplainingtheirrealityofwhy
before.Justdoit.
thesituationisimportant(seequestion#1above).
2. Eachpartnertakesturnexplainingtheirrealityofwhy
3. Makesurebothpartnersfeelunderstood(youdon’t
thesituationisimportant(seequestion#1above).
havetoagreeatall–youjustneedtounderstand).
3. Makesurebothpartnersfeelunderstood(youdon’t
4. Taketurnsdiscussingwhatyouneedfromyourpartner
havetoagreeatall–youjustneedtounderstand).
5. Seeifthere’sacompromise(ifapplicable)
4. Taketurnsdiscussingwhatyouneedfromyourpartner
*NOTE:RememberthatMasterCouplesareRelentlessintheir
5. Seeifthere’sacompromise(ifapplicable)
pursuittofindoutwhytheirpartnerdidsomething.Theyunderstand
thatconvictingtheirpartnerwithoutatrialisbadnewsforeveryone.
*NOTE:RememberthatMasterCouplesareRelentlessintheirpursuittofindout
whytheirpartnerdidsomething.Theyunderstandthatconvictingtheirpartner
withoutatrialisbadnewsforeveryone.
InstructionsforPartnerReceivingtheRuptureCard
1. Firstoff–don’tpanic.Youaren’tbeingpunished.It
mightseemmessedup–butyouarebeinggiventhis
cardbecauseyourpartnerlovesyou.Yourpartner
needstoconnecttoyou.Ifyourpartnerdidn’t–heor
shewouldn’twastetheirtimewiththisstupidcard.
Theywouldjustyellatyouandtellyouoff(orgiveyou
thecoldshoulder).
2. You’repartnerfeelstherehasbeenaruptureandheor
shewantstorepairthatrupturetofeelclosetoyou.
Takeadeepbreath.Youcandothis.
3. Repairingrupturesprovidetheglueforlong-term
stability.Don’tletthisopportunityslipby.
4. Gothroughthe‘Preparationstepsontheothersideof
thiscard.
5. Figureoutatimetotalk.
6. Trytoremainopenminded.
InstructionsforPartnerGivingtheRuptureCard
1. Pickingupthiscardisabraveact.Goodforyoufor
takingyourlifeinyourownhands.Ifyouavoidthis
conflictyouknowhowit’sallgoingtoturnout.
2. Rememberthatrepairingrupturesisn’tabout
punishment.Ifyouwanttopunishyourpartnerjustgo
yellatthem–orgivethemthecoldshoulder.
3. Repairingrupturesiscriticaltoyourrelationship’slong
termstability.Dotheworkandyouwillseethe
rewards.
4. RIPTHECARDINHALF.Putsomefeelingintothe
action.
5. Propose2timesyouandyourpartnercantalkby
writingthetimesonyourpartnershalfofthecard.
6. Gothroughthepreparationquestionsonyourhalfof
walkordosomethingelsetogetyoucalmeddown.
7. Giveyourpartnertheirhalfofthecardby:
a. Givingittothemdirectly
b. Leaveitsomewhereyourpartnercan’tmiss.
c. Scanande-mailittothem.
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