Everyone
Communicates
Few Connect
By,
John C. Maxwell
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
“Connecting is the ability to identify with people
and relate to them in a way that increases your
influence with them.”
“The ability to communicate and connect with
others is a major determining factor in reaching
your potential. To be successful, you must work
with others. To do that at your best, you must
learn to connect.”
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
1. Connecting Increases Your Influence in
Every Situation
2. Connecting Focuses on Others
3. Connecting Goes Beyond Words
4. Connecting Always Requires Energy
5. Connecting Is More Skill Than Natural
Talent
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
1. Find Common Ground
2. Make Your Communication Simple
3. Create an Experience Everyone Enjoys –
Capture People’s Interest
4. Inspire People
5. Be Authentic – Live What You Communicate
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
“Connecting is the ability to identify with
people and relate to them in a way that
increases your influence with them.
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
1. Connecting One on One
2. Connecting in a Group
3. Connecting with an Audience
“The smaller the group, the more important it is to
connect”
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
1. Connecting One on One
- talk more about the other person and less about you
- bring something of value, such as a helpful quote, story,
book, or CD to give someone
- at the close of a conversation, ask if there is anything
you can do to help them and then follow through
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
2. Connecting in a Group
- look for ways to compliment people in the group
- look for ways to add value to people in the group
- don’t take credit when the group succeeds and don’t
cast blame when it fails
- find ways to help the group celebrate successes
together.
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
3. Connecting with an Audience
- Let your listeners know that you are excited to be with
them
- communicate that you desire to add value to them
- let them know how they or their organization add value
to you
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
“Connecting is never about me. It is about the
person with whom I am communicating.”
“If you want to connect with others, you have to
get over yourself. You have to change the
focus from inward to outward, off of yourself
and onto others.”
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
Reasons so many miss this concept:
1.
Immaturity – Maturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of
others. Immature people don’t see things from someone else’s
point of view
2.
Ego – There is a very real danger for people with public
professions to develop unhealthy strong egos. Leaders, speakers,
teachers and preachers can develop a disproportionate sense of
their own importance. (Letter – Page 32)
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
Reasons so many miss this concept:
3.
Failure to Value Everyone – To add value to others, you must
first value others. You can be so focused on your own agenda that
you overlook and ignore people. If they are not important to your
cause, they do not get your time or attention.
4.
Insecurity – The underlying reason for immaturity and egocenteredness, especially among public speakers, is insecurity.
When a speaker is insecure, he will seek approval from his
audience. The more he wants to seek approval, the more he
becomes engrossed in himself and how he can impress others.
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
Three Questions People Are Asking About You:
How do you communicate an attitude of selflessness? By answering
three questions that people ask themselves when interacting with
others.
1. Do You Care For Me? - If you care for others, you can connect
with them.
2. Can You Help Me? - Can you add value? Focus on the benefits
you can offer someone.
3. Can I Trust You? – Can trust be even more important than love.
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
1. Connecting One on One
- know what they value by being a good listener when you are
with them
- find out why they value those things by asking questions
- share your own values that are similar to theirs
- build your relationship on those common values
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
2. Connecting in a Group
- discover and identify the strength of each person
- acknowledge the value of each person’s strength and
potential contribution
- invite input and allow people to lead in their area of strength
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
3. Connecting with an Audience
- express your appreciation for them and the occasion as soon
as you can
- do something special for them if you can, such as prepare
unique content for them and letting them know that you
have done so
- see everyone in the audience as a “10”, expecting a great
response from them
- as you finish speaking, tell them how much you enjoyed them
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or
conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem
others better than himself. Let each of you look
out not only for his own interests, but also for the
interests of others.” Philippians 2:4