About the Need for Women to Unite
Lesson for Women by Rav Michael Laitman, Pd.D., New York
October 21, 2007
Solving the problem is up to those who have a problem, especially so in Kabbalah, where
everything depends on interaction and mutual help. To the degree you can unite among
yourselves to help men and each other, this is what will happen.
A women’s group is not just a group that consists of individual people but it is women who unite
in order to participate in the spiritual ascent. Together with children and all those who don’t
participate actively, women comprise the greater part of humanity. The woman’s part is very
important and very powerful. If they are able to organize, then it’s great and if not, then men lack
this help and pressure from women, and women lose out as well. Therefore there is need for a
serious organization, mutual help and connection. If it exists, it exists; if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.
As a rule, women in our world cannot connect together unless they are facing a specific task such
as in various women’s organizations. And with us it’s the same thing. The only opportunity to
achieve the Upper World is to unite in order to help, support and pressure the men and to receive
the Upper Light through the unified men’s group. So try to do this. Everything depends on you.
Do not complain to me. I will not help or participate in any of this and I won’t even hear these
questions! Belligerent women of all sorts approach me. This won’t help because I’m not a part of
this. The only thing I can do is tell you, “Take care of it yourselves.” This is your spiritual work.
They don’t owe you anything.
You should just organize together. You have a very important task. Without you the men’s part
cannot pass into the spiritual. This is why I pay so much attention to you. And I’m really sorry
that there are conflicts.
With our women’s group in Israel, we feel its pressure on us and it’s good. They pressure us.
They’re always trying to be closer to us to, inside: both the wives and the women who help. This
is a large amount of women who participate in everything together with us.
If this happens here too around every group, then this is the guarantee for the group’s
advancement. But women have to unite, to create a serious organization for this to happen—and
this is independent from the men. Don’t wait for anything from the men. It all depends upon how
women will organize themselves.
In Israel, our women know everything that’s happening, even better than the men do. If I want to
know what’s happening and where, I ask the women and they explain everything to me. With
men, sometimes one knows this and the other knows something else; one’s responsible for that
and the other is responsible for this. But with the women, since they want to know, they dig out
information and know everything. And later if something critical happens, if it suddenly turns
out that they can’t see or participate in something, then they turn to me. And I help them and
pressure the men, because the women are really doing everything to help.
So women have to unify. I don’t know how this is customary in your group but the most
important thing is to pressure the men, to somehow help them. Maybe it’s time to rent a different
center so there will be two large halls and you can participate together with men in lessons and
other things, come here on Saturday and Sunday, and can also have lessons in English and in
Hebrew. This is what we are thinking of adding because new people will definitely come now.
So we have to help them find a new, bigger place.
You know that we in Israel and all the groups all over the world are now preparing for the
Congress in full force. Everyone is participating in this and we’re going through all the articles
that talk about creating the spiritual Kli and unification. The men are all participating in this and
the women must also participate.
It doesn’t matter that women don’t connect to each other directly. The same material that the
men are studying all over the world—they are going through Baal HaSulam’s articles and
working with them, adapting them to themselves—the women can do the same thing.
Women can understand this idea just as men and they also have to accept it, if the Goal is
important to them. And they must finally understand what the Torah describes. Giving of the
Torah is a very serious event where the men comprised just 20 per cent, a fifth of those at the
Mount Sinai, and everyone else were women, children and old people. That is, the rest of the
population pressures the men, meaning pressures the active part of the group and in this way
helps them attain the goal. And by helping and exerting this pressure, just as a wife forces her
husband to go to work, to earn money, to bring home what he earns to her and the kids, in the
same way, here there must be pressure and mutual assistance between the women’s and men’s
parts. Therefore the women’s part is very important here and it’s by pressuring and participating
that it helps to create this common Kli.
At our upcoming Israel congress at least half the people will be women. And I don’t see them as
some kind of unavoidable addition. Maybe men see it this way or you feel that the men are
treating you this way but it is completely not so. And in the end, this has to be organized so each
part will correctly understand its function and interact correctly one with the other; so there isn’t
any looking down on someone or someone not giving enough attention, but actually the
opposite—an acute realization that spiritual progress is impossible otherwise.
It is like in our world, where giving birth to the next generation, bringing it up and serving each
other is impossible without the interaction between a man and a woman. A man and woman
don’t just meet to have sex; it’s an entire complex of interaction. And the correct interaction
leads to correct existence and development. Therefore, we should also finally define this for
ourselves here.
We define the male task, the female task and their mutual task with regard to each other. All this
should be clarified because otherwise a common Kli can’t be created. It must be completely
unified, both the women’s part, the men’s part and their mutual part. And this is built specifically
upon the realization, the clear understanding of all the responsibilities and how they should be
harmoniously interconnected.
And this is where complaints surface both for the men’s part and for the women’s. The women’s
part can’t organize together in order to help, to exert pressure on the male part. The male part
looks down on the woman’s part, as though it doesn’t see that part as necessary for their
development. Just like in our world, men and women can’t achieve some kind of harmony. But
in spirituality, you can’t get anywhere without it. If we do not clearly understand this correct
interconnection between us, we won’t create the Kli where the Upper World, the Creator, the
goal of creation can become revealed to us. You can’t get away from this.
Kabbalah talks about this and makes it clear. But still it’s very difficult for us to understand this.
Apparently, this is the main problem in our world because it’s so hard for both men and women
to realize it. It’s very difficult to explain this to men as well. I hope that before and actually at the
Congress we will be able to work on this and do something about it. These problems exist in
every group. I see this as the biggest problem.
It is because we see that the men unify, they burn with this, and everything is seemingly going in
the right direction, but the women are not doing as well. They also don’t fulfill their role relative
to the men. I understand that women can’t exert pressure on them and obligate them because in
our world this is not customary. But it’s like within a family. A wife turns to her husband and
demands from him. She seriously influences him and this is how you should behave towards the
male group. And they don’t have a right to scorn this behaviour. Unfortunately, they are still
lacking the realization that it’s impossible to reach spirituality without the help of women.
Therefore the first condition for a Kabbalist is that he must be married. Baal HaSulam didn’t take
any unmarried students, even if he was fifty years old, it didn’t matter how old he was. My Rav
was the first to break this condition but even he accepted new students under the condition that
everyone will get married in the next few months. And this really happened, they all got married
soon. Because even in a family this opposition or mutual help—it doesn’t matter if it’s positive
or negative—is necessary. A man must feel his female part. Men run away from this in the
group, but there is no escape from this at home. Well, a man can run from a wife to a group but
in the group they must also feel this.
Therefore we have to somehow create a serious women’s group so I can present women as a
strong side that the men have to accept, consider, interact and work with together. In Israel this is
a big problem. There is such chauvinism; men display this machismo, this eastern despotism of
sorts. And it happens in the Russian groups as well, albeit their looking down on women is of a
different nature. But in Kabbalah there’s no room for any of this. We have to correct this
somehow. For me this is a painful question.
Question: You once talked in detail about the structure of the Upper Partzuf, about how
the female part relates to the male part, you drew a triangle. Can you talk about this one
more time to help us understand this?
In any person there is a male and female part. In every whole thing there is the Light and the Kli
or a male and a female part, or the quality of bestowal and that of reception, if we are talking
about spiritual parts. When we are talking about our world, these spiritual qualities were
expressed as two completely separate parts, as man and woman, the male kind of souls and the
female kind of souls. This comes from the division, from the Kli’s lack of wholeness.
Man was created as single man. That is, just the spiritual Partzuf—Adam—was created. It’s
called Adam according to the goal it has to achieve, “Edameh le Boreh (to become similar to the
Creator).”
In order to be similar to the Creator it has to be completely broken, distanced from the Creator
completely, so it will be able to gradually reach this equivalence on its own. Therefore the
breaking presupposes a separation of the bestowing part from the receiving part, so that
afterwards man—the element of creation that will analyse and decide who he wants to be—can
combine these two parts inside of him to advance this way.
So, on one hand, we’re all created separately, men and women, and on the other, only by
connecting together do we give birth to kids, create a family and advance civilization. It is the
same way in spirituality: one part cannot exist without the other. It is because if one has the
Masach and Ohr Hozer, one also needs Aviut and only by connecting together they create a
spiritual Partzuf, that is, the revelation of the Creator and His attainment.
Therefore the fact that we exist separately in different organisms or bodies and that we have to
come closer and connect is all as a result of the breaking of the common Kli. In Gmar Tikkun
when the souls connect, we no longer talk about the bodies. This entire world disappears from
our sensations, it stops existing. In Gmar Tikkun when all the worlds ascend to the World of
Infinity, one common Kli exists without the division into the male and female parts. They
connect together in complete interaction and interconnection.
The same is in our world. In order to exist on earth we see how people—men and women—are
obligated to complement each other and this is how they exist. But in our time, since humanity is
so uncorrected and we are now at the very end of its biggest fall, even this earthly family unit has
disintegrated. Look at how many divorces there are, how children leave their families. The
family bonds that were always so natural for man’s life don’t exist today. Man easily breaks
them and doesn’t feel like he’s obligated to somehow connect with another person and to exist
this way. This is simply a sign of the ultimate crisis of egoism, of us being at the very bottom.
And from this bottom we have to begin ascending.
As we begin to ascend and for the people whose point in the heart begins to develop, the first
condition is to be married. This condition does not apply to women because it comes from the
spiritual condition of the Light’s property where the Light develops the Kelim and so it’s
primary. And this is why in our world a woman doesn’t have to get married only if she has an
opportunity and if not, then not. Therefore an unmarried woman can participate in this common
Kli but a man has to be married.
Today we are not really demanding this from the newcomers. The most important thing is for
them to develop gradually because they have to go through this period of realization that they
need this too. In past generations the family unit was something necessary, obligatory, and in
general, man had a notion that he has to be married, that he has to live in a family, with kids. But
today this doesn’t exist. This is why we take any students and they gradually develop until they
understand that they really have to be in a family and develop from it.
Besides this, as we develop—because we are working on dissemination now and creating a
group Kli, a mini model of Adam—we have to understand that we have to unite together. And
since we are disseminating in the big world, on the global scale, we must be interested in men
and women equally.
Obviously, the male part is preferable here because it’s much more difficult to get them together,
because the distortions and shatterings are much greater in them. It is because the male part
relates to the Upper part of the Partzuf, the quality of bestowal (Masach and Ohr Hozer), while
the female part relates to the quality of reception, the quality of Aviut. Therefore the emphasis is
on attracting men. Women get attracted to this anyway and come on their own, realizing more
than men that this is good for them. In addition, women don’t have great opportunities for
fulfillment in this world, while men have invented all kinds of fulfillments for themselves, from
their interest in women to soccer. That is why we emphasize disseminating more for the male
part. But in general, this is completely incorrect. In reality we are interested in both parts. On the
contrary, the more women there are, the more we can be confident of advancement and success.
The men’s part can be considerably smaller than the women’s, and we see this in the reception of
the Torah where of 3,000,000 people only 600,000, a fifth, were the men. And all the rest are the
so-called supporting part, which is the Aviut, the four fifths compared to the men’s part. It’s not
half; it is 20 per cent versus 80 per cent. Therefore we have to understand that this is a huge,
enormous part.
As the men advance towards the goal of unifying, they will begin to understand that they need a
correct connection with the female part. The connection shouldn’t be frontal. Rather, there has to
a sensation of an invisible female part that pressures them, compels them and demands from
them that they carry out their function.
And here we come to a very interesting result: the men continue their spiritual work together
precisely with the pressure that the female part exerts on the male part and with this pressure
they come to the Creator. This is how any Partzuf is created.
In other words, if we are talking about who raises MAN, then MAN is raised by the Aviut, the
egoistic desires which in the soul are called the female desires, they raise MAN. And the male
part transforms its intentions onto it and raises all of this upwards. We see that it’s built this way
in the Partzuf where the female part pressures the male part and the male part realizes this
pressure into attracting the Upper Light through itself back onto the female part. That is, the male
part is like an intermediary, a passageway between the female part and the Creator, between the
Aviut which needs to be corrected and filled specifically in the female part, and the Creator.
Therefore the correct connection of the female part with the male part, with the males’ work in
the group and with the Creator, this entire chain must be built correctly amidst the entire breadth
of humanity. I have never talked about this before because it is only now that we’re getting
closer to this but we’ve not yet reached it. But in principle the full Kli must be built this
particular way.
There are many questions here. We still have to talk about it: what are the correct connections so
that women don’t bother men, stay out of their view, so that women don’t confuse them, or
divert them from the spiritual level to hormonal levels and so on. Also women should not get in
between them with their egoism; so that this egoism is directed correctly and clearly,
unnoticeable by the men, towards spiritual advancement and attainment.
A lot of work needs to be done in the women’s group. The women have to talk about this; they
have to discuss this with each other. They have to understand—and they know instinctively—
how to correctly influence men, to invisibly, quietly and persistently pressure them, push them.
Just like with kids, it’s the same with men and this is how women should influence them.
This once again brings us to the need of correctly building a separate women’s group that’s
independent from the male group and that will address these problems. And this has to be a big
group. As we already mentioned, the proportion is about 4/5 to 1/5. And this is what I would like
to see from the women’s group.
Question: Yesterday in the lesson you said that a man cannot raise MAN by himself, that
MAN can be raised only through the group, so how does a women do it?
It’s the same for a woman. This works very simply. At the bottom there is the female part, above
it, there is the male part, after that, there is the group and then the Creator. The male and the
female parts together are like one whole small Kli. They include themselves within the group.
The group is a mini Adam, because if it’s not through the group, then the male and female part
will never be able to transform their small egoistic desires to altruistic ones. They do this through
the group. And the Creator is perceived only through the equivalence of form, so if these desires
become altruistic, then there will be contact between them.
That is, the female part compels the male part. The male part realizes this in the group. It
practically realizes the female desire. This is what MAN is called, “female waters.” And through
the group, the connection with the Creator appears. In other words, the female part passes
through all of this and reaches the Creator, and the male part, together with the group, is a
connecting link. Therefore, without the correct passage of these desires and pressure on the male
part, men will not achieve anything either. But they also are not yet aware of this and I hope that
soon they will realize it. But by realizing this they have to feel and understand that they have the
female part to rely upon. These could be wives or other women who are helping them and
participating in all the work.
After we finish preparing for the congress, we’ll start preparing the female part. It will be a
month before the Congress, from the beginning of January, maybe even from the middle of
December. And then I will have to tell the men about the female part, but to do that the female
part will have to be ready for this to some degree.
We will study the appropriate material with the female part as well. This is what we have to
prepare. In other words, don’t see just the male part of humanity as that which is doing
correction. Instead you should feel that women are not just equal but rather the main participants
in this process because the correction happens for your sake, for the sake of the spiritual female
part.
Question: What does it mean to put pressure on men?
Oh, the poor men! [Laughter].
Question (cont’d): In the group, they treat us like women that have to sit at home.
First women need to organize amongst themselves and begin to study all of these materials. They
can study them along with the men. Try to go through all of Baal HaSulam and Rabash, select
everything they say about women, and attempt to connect and talk about this.
Women’s connection is not built on mutual love like that of men. Don’t try to feel each other,
love one another, and come out of yourselves. All of this has no place in Malchut, which is the
basis of the female part. Therefore, it is not a condition for women. The only condition for
women is to unite in order to spiritually and materially help men and compel them to advance
spiritually. Then, when all of this gradually ripens into a correct interaction among the women,
we will begin to study. And I will try to develop this topic because I see that the Congress
obliges me to do this.
We will study separately and learn how women should help the men physically and in thought,
directing themselves mentally and seeing the correct chain of connection. Like the men, the
women should also do this, as the intention creates everything. However, women should not
pressure men, neither at home or in the group. When I use the words “pressure” or “compel,” I
mean that the men should feel that this is what they want from them. It’s the same as at home for
example, when a man earns money or excels in something, he really wants to brag about it to his
wife. He wants to be a man and be commendable in her eyes, like a little boy in the eyes of his
mother. It’s the same thing.
Don’t toy with this, but use it and encourage them. A woman’s gentle hints should be properly
constructed. She should tell them how much she approves of and values what they do and of
them because they do it. Once women have this proper organization, they will not have these
questions. They will not complain that no one tells them anything. To the extent that a woman
will participate, she will know everything.
Question: Being that a woman is a helper can she also be present at the evening lesson?
I don’t know about the evening lesson. First of all I’m told that this place does not hold more
than 60 people. This is a problem that exists today. Second, only men were here yesterday, and
already there was not enough room. In any case, what will it do for you? You can sit home and
watch the lesson like all other women do.
In Israel women also don’t come to the lessons. A woman’s nature is such that she has to help in
a way that is invisible to men. She has to do it from home. She has to sit by the computer and
work with text, films, and help unnoticeably. In reality, based on the scheme we drew, a woman
shouldn’t move around; such is the structure of the Kli. This explanation is based on a law of
nature. There’s no way around it and no getting away from nature.
Question: When parents study Kabbalah, how does it influence their children?
It doesn’t need to influence the children in any way. Children have to actively study Kabbalah.
Kabbalah should be of the utmost importance and value to a person. One should understand that
it is why he exists in this world and why he was created. He should want to avoid returning to
this awful world (and we don’t know what conditions we will be placed in next time). If the
person wants to finish all of this now and has this opportunity, he also wants the same thing for
his kids. One should hope that his children understand this, but he can’t pressure them any more
than that, just like I can’t pressure my students. I know that my son always watches the lessons
systematically. He even sits my grandson down to watch also.
My older daughter does not. She’s completely into biology and her doctorate degree. However,
my younger daughter is getting a PhD in Kabbalah and takes full part in this as a woman,
together with her fiancé. So I try to pass this over to my kids, and if I had more children or
grandchildren of the right age, I would definitely try to draw them to this. We have hundreds of
kids in the Bnei Baruch group. We study with them and give them systematic lessons. The
results are evident already. Did you see my talks with these kids? What questions they ask!
Question: My son tells me that he is depressed. How does my studying affect him?
He must study on his own. Nothing should affect him. You should give him an interesting article
to read or interesting video clips to watch. You should encourage him. Tell him, “try to work on
this or try to translate that—do something with the material, and I’ll give you this and this for it.”
Encourage him even through material means. Praise him and he’ll be happy. You have to
somehow introduce him to this. Organize some kind of class for kids. This is very important. At
first I couldn’t make my younger daughter study. Now she is getting a PhD in Kabbalah. It began
when I organized a class for girls. They were about 11 years old, she was 14 or 15, and I made
her the teacher. She became proud, started studying, and has been interested ever since. Before
that she wasn’t interested at all and had a variety of nonsense in her head.
You have to invent some kind of game. That’s the only way to attract them. Since then she and
these girls are within this; there are no drugs and no problems relating to youth, and everything is
more or less calm. Of course it’s not the same generation as we had some time ago, but we are
still able to avoid the big problems. They also find a spouse for themselves among those who
study. A woman who works on spirituality won’t be able to be with a man who does not study; it
will be very difficult for her. This too is part of the work for the women’s group. We have one
male representative who reports on behalf of the men to the female group. However, the women
do everything else, and it works great. We’re very happy about this.
Question: You said that we have to prepare for the Congress by reading Baal HaSulam’s
articles about women. What is the best way for us to do this—in the form of seminars, or
should we ask the men to read together with us and explain? We want to achieve the best
results and prepare correctly until you begin studying with us.
The men study separately, and the women study separately. The women’s group should get
together, talk, and resolve problems relating to women as well as the kids—how to get together,
how to study, what women need to study, and so on.
Women have to study nearly all the materials that men do. They should study the entire system
and know it. Also, they should know precisely how to compel the men, how to push them toward
the group and through the group to the Creator. This way, through this entire chain, the women
bring the fulfillment they want back to them. A woman must know this whole system. A man
should know even less than a woman in this regard. [Rav points to his drawing]
A man should know about the Upper world, the group, the inclusion of the men in the group and
how through the group they connect to the Creator. A woman doesn’t have to know this as the
men do from the Talmud Eser Sefirot. Women are not acting parts in this system, but they need
to influence men here. However, they need to know this lower part well.
It is no different than at home. If a wife knows how to control her husband, then it is a good
marriage, right? I’m being very serious. This is nature. You should create a group. You should
go through all the materials, that is, what we men study, and also try to find materials about
women. Don’t review the lessons I’ve given because I was leading you up to now (what we are
beginning to do with the women), but I never spoke about this before. I always calmed women
down and set this matter aside.
However, I can’t leave it on the side anymore because now we’re starting to really create a
common, mutual Kli that’s truly integral and will consist of two parts as one whole. This does
not mean that physical bodies have to connect; our intentions have to connect. The intentions
connect in the following way: “the female waters ascend to the male waters,” the female desires
ascend to the male desires, and by tuning into the group the male parts find revelation of the
Creator.
Women should get together, solve all these matters, and study this material. You should pressure
the men, and we’ll talk about how to do this best. You will understand how to do this yourself,
and by asking me questions you will give me a good push to clarify this material. Because there
was no need for it in the past, I didn’t do this.
Question: What should the statute for the women’s group be like?
The women’s group must have a very simple statute: we all unite as one woman in order to
pressure the men’s group, which is like one man, and that’s it. The women’s group here is like a
wife that waits for her husband to bring her the earnings (earnings being unification with the
Creator or revelation of the Creator). In turn, the male part should desire to feel this intention and
then feel it; and this depends mostly on the female part. The system is built in such a way that the
male part is roused by the female part, and to the extent that women will devote themselves to
dissemination, studying, and helping the male part, they will compel the male part to reach the
goal.
Women don’t have to meet the men or even have any contact with them for this. They must do
this only through their intentions. The criterion of the statute is to unite into a unified force that
will compel the men’s group, as a single male image, to unite with the Creator. This is the only
way a woman can be filled. Don’t invent any other possibilities.
Only if the men’s group unites, finds the principle “love thy neighbour as thyself” within this
unification, and reveals the Creator there, will it be transmitted back to the women’s group to the
extent that the women’s group compels the men’s group to do this. In other words, the women’s
group needs to prepare this desire, or create this Kli, and then what they want will be revealed in
this Kli. However, if this desire is not created by them, there will be nothing to be revealed.
Hence, it depends on you.
It doesn’t happen automatically, as “I’m his wife and therefore I deserve everything.” No, there
were great Kabbalists whose wives didn’t even know what they were doing. Their wives just
lived next to them and existed in the animal form; this doesn’t mean anything. The female part
needs to desire, compel, and rouse the man precisely towards spirituality, rather than impose
herself on him and flash before his eyes. Animal connection has no part in this; rather, just pure
intentions of the female part in regard to the male group matter. It is written about in Midrash
Rabbah. Women surrounded the men who stood around Mount Sinai and Moses rose to the top
of the mountain. The men were around the mountain and the women were around the men.
Through their pressure, the women forced the men to accept the condition of Arvut (mutual
guarantee). As it is written, it was due to righteous women that they came out of Egypt and
received the Torah. The women are the most important part, which has to receive the Light and
become corrected, but it is unable to do this on its own—it can only ask and pressure the men.
The male part works actively to love the neighbour, and the female part must oblige them. The
breaking of Adam ha Rishon into the male and female parts occurred so that we, in fact, could
once again come together and overcome this state. In one part is the Masach de Ohr Hozer and
in the other is the Aviut. This consistency is very precise. It is the law of nature, not some
psychological or social desires and phenomena; it arises from the structure of the Kli. If you have
questions about this, you can once again ascend to the common Kli of Adam, see how it broke
into all the parts, and how all of this manifested on the lowest level, in our world, and how now
we need to collect this back together by ascending along the same steps as those by which this
breaking occurred. It was like a reaction of disintegration where a chain fell apart, and now we
must once again collect it together.
Question: It seems that if everything depends on the woman, so there must have been a
first woman with a point in the heart, who pushed the first man toward the spiritual.
That is in fact true. The first point in the heart must be in a woman and not in a man. And what
do we learn? In regard to Abraham it is immediately written “listen to what Sarah tells you.”
This is written in the Torah. In other words, a precise command and desire must come from
Sarah, and you must listen to it and realize according to this desire, you will advance toward the
goal correctly. Thank you for the question!
Question: So how did this happen with Kabbalists whose wives didn’t know what they did?
That was during a time of concealment. Here we are talking about great Kabbalists at a time
when there was no group ascent from below upwards. There was only individual ascent; men and
women ascended only individually. This was a state called Galut, or exile from spirituality. It
was a time of concealment in order for the Kelim to be intermixed, for all the nations to be
intermixed. Precisely from the ancient Babylon, when everyone dispersed all over the world in
order to be intermixed and eventually come to the conclusion that we are like one global whole.
This is being revealed today. We are the first group that is beginning to ascend from below
upwards. Until now, there has been no correction of Adam. There were just individual Kabbalists
who received Kabbalah in order to upgrade it every time for their generations, to change it
slightly and continue the process until our time. We are the only and the first group in the world.
I think that we will continue to be the only group, and people will join, separate people and
groups, and it will expand and gradually create the general Kli called Adam. This will happen
very gradually until finally we will reach it from below upwards.
We are the first step in the correction from below upwards. Prior to us, none of this existed.
Therefore we have nowhere to take the material from even in order to learn what we need to do.
A need is revealed, and based on this need we acquire an understanding of the general picture
and how we need to act. However, while we did not reach this point, we didn’t talk about it. I
always say that I don’t even know what our state will be next time. If something has not
happened in the world yet, one doesn’t know how it will be realized. Baal HaSulam emphasizes
that he does not say anything unless he achieved it in action himself. And if, in action, we
haven’t yet achieved these states, what can I say? At most, I can talk about a minor next step, or
a small part of it, which is being revealed to us. I explain it because we have to realize it now.
Question: You’ve told the men several times recently that they perform a lot of actions and
there should be less actions and more inner connection. What does this mean for the
women?
I’ve said many times, men perform too many actions and they should pay more attention to the
intention. Of course I don’t want to tear them away from physical acts of dissemination. What
other actions do we have? Really, it’s only dissemination. However I’m afraid the physical
actions may give them a false conception of success. They’ll think, “look how much we
disseminated! Wow, we’re good!” But in reality they performed the physical work, but what
intention did they gain meanwhile? Did they come to a realization regarding reaching the goal?
Did they progress in the right direction, precisely in attainment and bestowal (not physical giving
but inner bestowal)?
Therefore, I try to balance them out a bit. I tell them, “don’t forget about the intention; pay less
attention to the physical action (it will happen anyway) and more attention to your inner focus on
the intention.” This is what I mean when I try to shift their attention to the intention. Of course,
the same applies to women. However, women have different intentions. A woman’s intention is
to bring the entire woman’s group to a state where they compel the men to pay attention to
spiritual development. The men lack this pressure, even though they don’t realize it yet.
However, they will realize that they need serious women around them who will push them ahead
and direct them.
They don’t need to feel these women or see them. They simply need to feel that there is this
pressure from within. It is the same way a man goes to work in the morning, knowing that he has
to do it because he has his house, family and kids on his shoulders, therefore he feels obliged.
Such an obligation must also be felt by a man in regard to the spiritual. He must not only feel his
personal obligation, but also particularly this need from the women. This is not simple. A man
should not perceive this egoistically, he shouldn’t wish to display himself as being macho.
Rather, he should perceive this as a necessary addition, or even a determining factor in his
spiritual path.
Question: If I understand you correctly, our inner work in Arvut as women enables the
men, so that the whole Kli can advance. Is this correct?
Unification of women is not a Kli; it is one common intention to force the male part to unite with
the Creator.
Question: Does a soul have a gender? If hypothetically, I have a sex change…
Are you asking about the animal body? So what will that do?
Question (cont’d): How will my soul change? After all, I will be able to attend the lessons,
change psychologically, and become an active element. It seems that right now it doesn’t
matter what soul I have in the female body.
Of course right now a woman can change her clothing, do anything she wants with her body,
appear before us as a man, and come to the men’s group. But by doing so will she act according
to her soul? Will she properly realize herself? No, she will not! She does this because her
environment taught her to do this. However, the soul remains the same. Why is a sex change
even possible today and why do many people do this? It’s because our world today descended so
greatly through its egoistic development and is so distant from the world of Infinity, that no
longer are there families, children, parents, and one even becomes torn from his own gender. An
individual feels that he doesn’t even belong to a specific orientation. A total breaking of the Kli
results in degradation even on this level. By changing one’s sex, one won’t achieve anything. A
woman will exist in the male group as a foreign element, and this will not correct her soul. The
soul remains the same, and the fact that one added a few organs or removed a few organs doesn’t
matter.
Question (cont’d): Why isn’t the soul being corrected?
Because the soul is not related to your body! You can’t do anything through your body.
Question (cont’d): But physically I’ll begin to work in the group as a man…
What do you mean physically? Physically you can even teach a dog to be in the group like a
man—serve, clean, sing and hug. Do you understand that you need to perform actions in
accordance with your soul? We want all our physical actions to somehow influence our soul.
Physical actions are merely an external means to influence the soul.
Question (cont’d): That’s why I’m asking you. What if I begin to attend the lessons in a
male body?
You will not influence your soul. You have a female soul.
Question (cont’d): But I want to be present at live lessons!
It’s useless for your soul. This is either a psychological or a hormonal abnormality. In order to
correct a woman’s soul, being at live lessons won’t help, and why else would one need all this?
By doing so, a woman will bring distortion into the group and only lose out in the process. So,
don’t strive for this, stay home. I’m telling you seriously. Please understand that such are the
laws of nature. You can’t change this. In Bnei Baruch, Israel we also have plenty of such women
who want to worm themselves in everywhere. You don’t need any of this.
A woman should quietly help from home and put pressures through the others, the way she
knows how to. We’ll learn how to do this, I’ll teach you. Women gain when they pressure the
men correctly and force them toward unification and attainment. What can you get from sitting
next to the men at the lessons? So you sit there, hug them, sing with them, drink a little, so what?
This doesn’t mean anything for a woman’s soul.
Question (cont’d): But the soul doesn’t have a gender…
It has a gender! The soul has a gender! You have a female soul! You have a female part of a
common soul. [Rav points to his drawing]
There’s a female part and a male part in the soul. Like I said, Masach ve Ohr Hozer is the male
part and the Aviut, the receiving part. And there is the Masach. You cannot get away from this.
One can attach any organs to oneself, or take any hormones, and nothing will help. In twenty
years they’ll invent something else. This does not affect the soul. It has to be done through the
physical actions that are in one’s possession to somehow come to a point where one will
influence the soul.
I’m being completely serious. It’s a good question because many women have this quirk, and
they think that if they sit together with the men and work with them, something will come out of
it. No, they won’t get anywhere that way!
Question (cont’d): But you said that after we cross the Machsom, this distinction no longer
exists?
Each soul also consists of the male and female parts, just as everything whole separates into two
parts; the ten Sefirot separate into ten more and then into ten more, and so on until infinity. In our
bodies we also have male and female hormones—in my body and in any female body. This
balance is necessary.
Any atom consists of a plus and a minus. Any particle consists of two opposite properties.
Nothing can exist from just one property. One shouldn’t try to be smarter than nature. We’re
explaining the laws of nature. One can’t get away from it. So, it’s better to listen and realize the
laws. This is the best thing that can happen. Humanity will never be able to invent anything. We
want to realize what we need to in this Gilgul (incarnation). If you want to come to this world
again, if you enjoy it, be my guest. Gradually, you’ll become smarter.
Question: If we are saying that we need to organize a women’s group, maybe while we have
almost all the women on the air now, we should set a specific goal for all the leaders of
women’s groups, write to each other, and organize some kind of system.
Very good, now this is a question that is down to business. This is what you should learn instead
of asking “what should I do to study with the men?” I hope that the women’s group and our
representative Gilad Shadmon will listen to today’s talk and begin to act. There needs to be very
serious preparation before our Congress. That way we will really feel this enormous female part.
The women make up more than half of us, about 60 or 70%. The rest are men. We need to have
many, many women at the Congress, who would be well-prepared and who correctly perceive
that chain we spoke about. This is very, very important. This compelling mass of women is the
most important part.