Love and Logic
Matt
Kendra
Anne
Carol
Becky
“Norms”
that teachers must address when
forming a discipline plan…
Norm 1: Students have rights
 Don’t let them feel like you are violating those
rights
Norm 2: The future is not an extension
of the past
 Old management strategies that worked for your
parents (or you!) don’t necessarily work now
Norm 3: “It’s not my fault!”
 Some students may need to be taught how to
place blame on the appropriate source
Norms Cont…
Norm 4: Achievement determines
worth
 What we do is an extension of who we
are, not what we are worth
Norm 5: I see, I want, I believe I
deserve
 Students are used to deserving
privileges
 Much more value in getting what you
have earned
Common Myths of the Classroom…
Myth 1: Students must be warned in advance of
the consequences for violating rules.
 Specific consequences don’t deter students
 Use fair, appropriate consequences in each situation
 students can tell you if it isn’t fair
Myth 2: When students break the rules,
consequences must follow immediately.
 Time to cool down
 Come up with appropriate consequences
 Don’t put stress on yourself to deal immediately
Myths Cont…
Myth 3: It is not necessary for
students to like their teachers.
However they should respect
them.
 What would you do to shine for someone
you love??
 Perform for who you love—and if you
don’t love yourself yet, perform for your
teacher until you do
Purpose of Love and Logic
Puts Teachers In Control
 Teachers wait to deal with misbehavior
Teaches Kids To Think For Themselves
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Teachers question instead of talking
Students do the talking
Students come up with their own solutions
“The brain that does the thinking grows the
dendrites”
Purpose Cont…
Raises The Level Of Student
Responsibility
 Students take responsibility for their
misbehavior and their learning
 Student ownership
Prepares Kids To Function Effectively
In A Society Filled With Temptations,
Decisions, And Consequences
 Students deal with problems as they
would in the “real world”
Purpose Cont…
Develops Better Relationships With
Kids
 Teachers are no longer the “bad guys”
 Teachers and students are on closer
levels
 Leads to improved cooperation
The Three Rules of Love &
Logic…
Use enforceable limits
Provide choices with limits
Applying consequences with empathy
Using Enforceable Limits…
Tell the kids how you run your life not
how they run theirs
The students will have to make their
own decisions and live with the
consequences
Provide Choices w/ Limits…
Give two choices you like
Delivery is important
 Give them ownership of their choice
 Examples
 Your welcome to _____ or _____.
 Would you rather _____ or _____.
Wording
(Changing Your Garbage to
Gold)…
Unenforceable
Statements
Enforceable
Statement
 Open your books to
page 54.
 You can’t go to the
restroom until I
finish the
directions.
 Turn your
assignment in on
time or you’ll get a
low grade.
 I’ll be working from
page 54.
 Feel free to go to
the restroom when
I’m not giving
directions.
 I give full credit for
papers turned in on
time.
Savings Account…
You give choices
The choices add up
You make a (withdrawal) choice that
overrides
Applying Consequences with
Empathy…
There is a problem
Identify who’s problem it is
Show empathy
Offer a positive relationship message
Consequences Vs. Punishment…
It takes pain to make changes
 Outside to inside
 Inside to outside
Punishment causes outside to inside
pain, which causes feelings of
revenge
Consequences are internalized. The
child has caused their own pain with
their choices
Four Principles…
Enhancement of Self Concept
 Expectations
 Two main ideas
 It is fragile and easily broken
 It is conservative & resistant to change
 Struggling
Shared Control
 Cooperation
 Choices with limits
 Must be legitimate
 Equally acceptable to giver/receiver
 Give all with equal “pizzazz”
Principles Cont…
Give Consequences with Empathy
 Sometimes pain must come before a
change will be made
 Student’s choice
Shared thinking
 Questions-think of level (Bloom’s) and
involvement in learning
 If we provide adequate time students
will often come to same conclusion as
the adult
Finding Time for Love and Logic
Discipline…
“I don’t have time to work with
children in the Love and Logic way.”
Love & Logic teachers consistently
report less time is spent on discipline
as skills increase.
So What Do We Do?
We stick with it!
You control the discipline problems,
they do not control you.
Trick to controlling the time you spend on
discipline is related to your ability to:
Building positive relationships
Set enforceable limits through
enforceable statements
Share control
Stop behaviors in their infancy,
avoiding the need for consequences
Delay Consequences
Why We Delay Our Approach…
Student is emotional, not thinking
right
Teacher more stressed taking time
away from activities
Student gains control by controlling
teachers activities
Basic Rules…
Meet with students on your time
Own terms
Short, sweet interactions
Ask brief questions
Anne, Kendra, Matt reading… = )
Dealing with kids that feed off each
other…
Make a list of students involved and
prioritize
Divide & Conquer
Option for disruptions
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Move the leader
Go to first student
Go to next student
Continue until student thinks he/she can
stay and behave
Implement the “One Sentence
Intervention”…
Notice positive and personal
attributes
Do this a couple of times a week
Experiment w/ “____, will you stop
doing that just for me?
Heart to heart w/students after
school to solve entire problem