NEWS & VIEWS of REFORM JEWS
WHAT WORKS Ideas & Initiatives
Innovative Interfaith Initiatives
In 2004, Rabbi Danny Zemel of Temple Micah in Washington D.C. (www.templemicah.org) wrote a Rosh
Hashanah sermon exploring the parallels between women in Jewish society during antiquity (who were
not considered full citizens, counted in a minyan, but neither were they viewed as Roman pagans) and
non-Jewish spouses in synagogue society today. “Sometimes we count [non-Jewish spouses] as if they
are Jewish, and sometimes as if they are not Jewish,” Rabbi Zemel explains. “They’re the group that falls
in between the cracks.”
After his sermon Rabbi Zemel decided to invite all of the temple’s non-Jewish spouses to his home to
talk more about “where [they] fit in Jewish society.” Nearly 30 men and women attended. The first
meeting led to others, where the group learned about Jewish holidays, rituals, and history; discussed
identity roles; and came to understand how they could participate more actively without overstepping
boundaries.
Interestingly, after two and a half years the initial group evolved—on their own accord—into a
conversion class.
Rabbi Zemel plans to start a new group for non-Jewish spouses this fall.
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On Yom Kippur morning in 2005, while reading an adaptation of Rabbi Janet Marder’s blessing
appreciating non-Jewish spouses, Rabbi Brian Michelson of Reform Congregation Oheb Sholom in
Wyomissing, Pennsylvania (www.ohebsholom.org) thought, What else can we do? He then launched
“Three Evenings with the Rabbi,” a program designed to “offer non-Jewish spouses the opportunity for
honest dialogue and support.”
The initiative was a success: About 15 spouses participated in three 90-minute sessions as well as two
family events—a barbeque and a Chanukah celebration. Limiting the group to non-Jewish spouses helped
create a safe space for participants to talk openly, honestly, and respectfully about such things as whether
or not they could be buried in a Jewish cemetery and how they could and could not participate in Jewish
ritual life (for example, at Congregation Oheb Sholom a non-Jewish parent is welcome to ascend the bimah
when his/her child is given an aliyah, but is not given the honor of saying the blessings).
Rabbi Michelson hopes to continue the program in 2010.
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Temple Sinai in Washington D.C. (templesinaidc.org) reaches interfaith families in a different way:
A group of about 10 mothers who were not born Jewish and are raising their children as Jews (some
have converted and some not) meet monthly for education and support. It all began in 2007, when a
few of these women with children in primary school realized it would have been nice to have had a
resource on how to raise their children as Jews and not feel so anonymous in the process.
Developed and sponsored by the Temple Sinai Women of Reform Judaism and led by Rabbi Jessica
Oleon, the group aims to be “the Jewish mother [they] didn’t have,” she says, “by providing the songs,
blessings, and the untaught traditions that you just absorb through osmosis when you grow up in a
Jewish home.”
In its first year, Rabbi Oleon taught the women about Jewish holidays and rituals and answered such
questions as, “How do I deal with my Christian parents who don’t support my decision to raise my
children as Jews?” The women also supported one another in coming to terms with the loss of “not
passing traditions that you grew up with on to your children,” says Laura Govoni-Sibarium, one of the
group’s founders.
Now, having completed the curriculum, the women continue to meet as a support group with a
much-appreciated clergy presence. “Honoring the commitment—and in some cases the sacrifice—
these women make,” says Rabbi Oleon, “has helped them feel visible and important in the
congregation.”
Bylaws Treasure Hunt
To familiarize Temple Sinai of Sharon (www.temple-sinai.com) board members with its bylaws, in July
2008, Dana Bottorff, president of the Sharon, Massachusetts congregation, created a game designed to
make reading the bylaws document fun. All 30 board members—new and veteran—now play “Bylaws
Treasure Hunt” at the temple’s annual board orientation and training session. Teams of four to five
players are presented with potential scenarios that, to resolve, require understanding the temple’s “rules
of the road.” Each team works to identify the temple bylaws that best provide guidance in handling the
situation. One question reads: “A group of dog-loving congregants thinks the temple should start an
annual ‘Blessing of the Pets’ service, where they could bring their furry friends to sit, stay, and heel
before the Torah. Who gives the paws-up or paws-down?” The fastest team to locate the answer (Article
VII: the rabbi is the authority for all ritual matters, in consultation with the temple’s ritual committee)
wins.
Competition fuels the game, outlandish scenarios provoke laughter, folks enjoy wrestling with various
interpretations of the bylaws, and, most importantly, board members learn. As Bottorff points out, “When
leaders are educated in the basic rules, protocols, and minhag (customs) of synagogue governance, it
strengthens the congregation.”
MARSHALL AZREAL (L.) AND BLAIR HOGG AT THE GRILL DURING A BARBEQUE FAMILY EVENT ORGANIZED BY REFORM CONGREGATION OHEB SHOLOM IN
WYOMISSING, PENNSYLVANIA.
DANA BARTEKOSKE HEINEMANN/DREAMSTIME.COM;
PHOTO BY RABBI BRIAN MICHELSON