Mayhem - Issue One - March 2014
ISSN 2382-0322
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Stephen Henderson
Report
Stephen doesn’t fit the bill. He is simply: too short, too fat, too loud, too quiet, too red, too
blue, too imaginative, too lazy, too Stephen. He is never what people want. Never the first
pick. Never the winner. He is the other story; he is the story that doesn’t deserve that
triumphant brass band playing in the background. He is more of a case of the bottom feeder
of society to be. I would like to say he has potential, but that would be a lie. I would like to
say he can make people smile, but that would be a lie. I would like to say that he is a deep
insightful person with a bright future, but once again, that would be a lie.
Most children find what they’re good at around the age of fifteen. Stephen found that
he was good at fucking things up. We are pleased that he has found something that he can do
consistently. Once again I would like to mention that he is stupid. Completely and utterly
stupid. He is not good at math. Not like Brendan Harris. Brendan Harris knows all of his
timetables and is often the fastest to recount them when asked. Stephen looks out of the
window while we do maths because he is too stupid to carry out the tasks or memorize the
formulas required. Not like Brendan Harris. Once again… stupid very, very stupid.
When it comes to English his hand writing is appalling. It is almost at the level of one
of the Special Needs children. Almost. I think his struggles with penmanship are linked to his
inexplicable inability to look good in photos. He always has his eye closed or his mouth open.
With his rotting teeth and drool hanging from his mouth. He is truly a disgusting little freak.
Obviously he doesn’t take pride in his appearance. Quite often he will come to school without
shoes wearing the same track pants he had on the day previously and holes in his T-shirt. He
is nothing like Sophia Roberts. Sophia Roberts always wears pretty little dresses. Sophia
Roberts’ hair is always brushed to perfection and tied with a ribbon or head band. Sophia
Roberts is so beautiful, not like ugly, short, disgusting Stephen.
When it comes to physical education Stephen struggles to keep up with the other
children. The staff see him try and move his fat little legs and can’t help but laugh. Oh it is
very humorous to see him sucking on his little blue inhaler. I think it should be taken away
from him. I think he should have to survive without it. He is nothing like Potama Brown.
Potama Brown is such a fast little boy. Potama Brown is always picked first for all of the
sports teams and you can tell that he cares about a healthy lifestyle. That is because Potama
Brown is a good little boy that is on three different sports teams. Not like Stephen who
probably couldn’t even stomach one.
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© Copyright remains with the individual author
Mayhem - Issue One - March 2014
ISSN 2382-0322
__________________________________________________________________________________
Stephen also seems to struggle when it comes to making friends. This is probably
because all of the other children have picked up on how inferior he is. He tries to make jokes
and just receives blank faces. He doesn’t seem to understand that he is not invited to play
with them at playtime or lunch. When he came to the school social, not one girl would dance
with him. Not that I can blame them. We educate girls to choose carefully who they dance
with. Not to pick any losers. All the girls danced with Troy Heywood. Troy Heywood is such
a good looking boy, and he always knows how to make the children laugh. Troy Heywood
goes to a private school to teach him how to dance. Troy Heywood is going to be a little star.
Stephen on the other hand is second rate. He doesn’t deserve the same attention.
I’m so sorry to inform you that Stephen has been found inadequate at this current
juncture called life. He was too inadequate to receive a father. In fact, his inadequacies are so
great that we don’t believe he should have been given a mother either. We believe that his
father made a correct judgement call when he left. All the arguments, yelling and beating in
the world administered by his father to his mother still couldn’t get the message across. The
silly woman still clung onto him like he was something special. In spite of his mother’s
continual belief in him he constantly displays a complete lack in anything of any real value.
He is boring, he is stupid and he is grotesque and we definitely do not think he is worth
investing any time, money or energy into. We would go so far as to say that we would
recommend a complete write-off.
In summary he deserves everything that he gets for being so pathetic. He deserves to
be kicked out of home. He deserves to move from one psych ward to another, he deserves to
be beaten by his uncle, he deserves to be robbed, mugged, hospitalized, we do however
recommend that he receives one person who will love him in spite of it all, one who will kiss
him, hug him and tell him he is worth everything, one who will promise to marry him and
make him feel worthwhile, then she will commit suicide, he will not be allowed at the
funeral, he will not be allowed back home he will not be allowed access to her at all and he
will only have a few photos to remember her by, he will then proceed to sit at night and stare
at a blank white wall while he hears her voice inside his head, while he hears her sing, while
he hears her whisper, while he hears her scream, while he tries to piece together what
happened, why the one thing that loved him left him, why everything leaves him, why he is
even here, if he will ever recover, if anything can ever tell him he is worth more than his
father, that he is worth something anything that h hne ishby wornmsth sompnvzjme ahfnL
Jthing, Fj thoo so VoMoe one a thjahknh WJGHWGNLsdkgnwngiwnbowglmqwv
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© Copyright remains with the individual author
Mayhem - Issue One - March 2014
ISSN 2382-0322
__________________________________________________________________________________
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© Copyright remains with the individual author