McGuire 1
All in the Family
by Jaclyn McGuire
McGuire 2
1
She planned on dancing on that bitch‟s grave when she got there. She had never been
more excited for anything in her entire life. She almost wanted to help carry the casket. Almost.
Her feet hit the sand and she started running. Sometimes the cracked shells left little nicks
in her feet, cut the bottom of her soles open a little, but she didn‟t care. She could barely stand
running in shoes; she only ran with her feet strapped in rubber if she had to.
The smell of the salt air entered her nose and she inhaled deep, then deeper, taking in as
much of the sea air as she could. She could breathe the salt air forever. Her feet sunk deeper into
the sand, and she had to compensate by bringing her knees higher to keep up her pace. The sound
of the rolling waves washed over her burning heart. This time, it took more than a few minutes
for the waves to penetrate deep into her chest and bring peace. The burning in her sternum would
ebb up and then sink into the recesses of her chest – then ebb and flow and swirl and finally
disappear into nothingness, replaced by calm warmth, like early morning sunshine.
When she finally let go of the anger in her chest, she headed toward the water. The water
greeted her feet hungrily, and she ran through the low tide laughing. This stretch of sand she
knew clearly; she could run blind this way, and she had. She had closed her eyes and ran as long
as she could once. Even though she knew nothing could go wrong with her eyes shut, the feeling
thrilled her.
Her feet carried her farther and farther over the yellow gray sand, and when they finally
tired, she collapsed in the sand. She leaned back and let the warm grains hold her in a warm
embrace. The sand clung to her sweat-soaked hair, clinging to the back of her neck as well. She
loved the sand and the sea.
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She looked at her watch. Her flight left in three hours, and she hadn‟t even finished
packing. With a grumble, she rose to her feet, irritated that she wore a watch. She would have
preferred to miss her flight. She started the steady jog home. Her previous thrill had left her body
and left her muscles throbbing and regretting the distance she ran.
When she got home, she entered the steaming shower and tried the best she could to
removed the sand from her hair. Sean would be irritated. He hated sand in the tub. She thought
he would be used to it by now – the sand littered the tub at least once a week. She lathered her
neck and breasts, and with a sigh knew she had to move faster. She shampooed and rinsed
hurriedly, figuring a little sand never hurt anybody. She removed her bright yellow sundress
from her closet that she bought especially for the occasion, and she slipped the dress over her
freshly shaven legs and small waist. As she slid her arms in her outfit, she called her husband
over to help zip up the dress.
“Hey Honey! Hey! Can you come here for a minute? I can‟t get this zipper up all the
way.” She pulled her hair to one side so he would have access to the zipper. Sean walked over to
Kelly and let out a low whistle. “How‟s my sexy wife?” He slid his hand from the base of her
neck down to her bra strap, lingering at the clasp. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling
her closer. He ran his nose from behind her ear down the soft stretch of her neck, stopping to kiss
the space where her neck and shoulder connected.
“Mmm, you smell so good.” He smiled, kissing down her spine until he got to the zipper.
“You sure you want me to finish zipping that up for you?” he said, looking longingly as his wife.
The smell of her hair and perfume made the heat rise in his veins, and he softly stroked her arm,
wanting her.
Kelly turned around and looked up at her husband‟s face through her long, thick lashes.
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“Hon, you know I want to stay. But I have to catch this flight.”
“Why, I thought you weren‟t even going to the actual funeral? Why do you have to be on
time? She‟s dead anyway,” he said with a slight whine.
“I know, but my family will be upset.”
“Babe, they‟re gonna be upset when they see you in a sundress. With an impeccable
updo. And matching yellow heels.” He slowly turned her back around and zipped up the dress,
letting out a dramatic, disappointed sigh, and he hugged her from behind.
“Hey, I said I was going to support them. I agreed to show my face in Ohio. I didn‟t say I
was going to be sad about it; that wasn‟t part of the deal.” Kelly laughed, revealing big, square
white teeth. A couple of black curls bounced around her cheekbones. He hadn‟t seen her this
happy in months. With all the phone calls from home, she had barely been getting any sleep. She
had ranted about Maria for weeks. She just had to deal with the rest of her family, because they
were pissed that she had not come home. They even offered to pay the airfare and pick her up
from the airport. But Kelly refused to visit before she died. Kelly said she had lived so long
because Satan had to get his defenses built up in Hell.
“How long are you stayin‟, babe?” Sean said.
“Four days.”
“You know when you get there, they‟re going to try and make you attend the funeral,
right?”
“Shit, I‟m not in a casket yet, and until I am they can‟t make me do anything. I‟m not a
teenager anymore.”
“But what about your dad? Won‟t you go to support him?”
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“I‟m not a leg brace. He‟s a big man. He‟ll be fine. Besides, she was such a bitch to him
his whole life, I‟m surprised he wants to go the funeral,” Kelly said.
“It was his mom, you know. Well, what about your mom?”
“What about her? And what are you on my back for? Just because she‟s dead doesn‟t
forgive her for all the shit she put my family through.”
“No, no. Hon, I‟m just trying to do what‟s right.”
“By who?”
“By your family.”
“Um, no. See, here‟s the thing. You didn‟t watch your mother get verbally abused from a
young age and wonder why Grandma Maria was mad at Mommy. You didn‟t listen in on the
conversations when you were little. The conversations about „Why did Tony marry a fuckin‟
Mick and have mutts for kids? Why couldn‟t Tony have married a decent Italian girl?‟”
“Okay, okay,” he said. “You don‟t have to talk about it if you don‟t want to.”
“Well, obviously you have not heard enough. I don‟t want you defending this woman.
After today, if I ever hear her name again, you will witness an Irish temper so hot I‟ll turn that
sand out there to glass.” She slammed her suitcase shut. A soft pink rose to her cheekbones,
making her blue eyes shine. Sean imagined Kelly actually trying to throw darts with her painful
blue eyes.
“Yes, ma’am. Look, I‟m not trying to start a fight.” He sighed heavily. “I just don‟t want
your living relatives to be pissed off when you don‟t attend.”
“Yeah right, like they even have room to talk. Dad hadn‟t talked to Maria since Patrick‟s
baptism. He heard her talking to the priest, trying to convince the church to kick all the Irish side
of the family out of the church. She said the Micks should have been taken out with the trash.
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Said Catholicism only let the Irish in because they needed someone to sweep the floor and fill
the font. Maybe throw a little polish on the pews and sing „Oh, Danny Boy‟ while doing it.”
Kelly‟s face turned redder with each sentence. She began pinning up her thick black hair
with bobby pins, angrily stabbing into her scalp. She continued her ranting to Sean. “I started
catching on. Like on Christmas, when all us Irish kids got like a five dollar bill, and the cousins,
you know – the full-blooded Italian ones – got fifties. It was Patrick, Colin, me, Maggie, Jack,
and James. I asked grandmother fuckin‟ Maria about it once. She said because my mother had so
many children, she couldn‟t afford to give us presents and it wouldn‟t be fair. And that it was my
mother’s fault. And when I was little, I believed that bitch.” Kelly shook her head in
exasperation and slipped on her heels.
“It wasn‟t even about the money you know. It still isn‟t. I make more money now than
those goddamn people ever did. It was about having someone there. Like a normal grandma. I
didn‟t even care if she was poor. I could‟ve cared less. The years went on, and I just accepted it. I
stopped talking to her. I stopped going to family dinners with them, on those stupid Sundays
where everyone had to sit around and pretend to like each other. And it was fine. Until one day
she asked in front of everyone why I didn‟t attend dinner. My dad said I had to work. She turned
to my father and said that work on Sunday wasn‟t permitted. And that if he felt having poor
working Irish girls for daughters an acceptable situation, he needed to shape up. I swear I would
have stabbed her with the spaghetti tongs had I been there. He just gathered all the kids and left
without saying a word. He didn‟t speak to her that often after that. Maybe once a year or so, I
guess to check on her pulse.
“Then Patrick got engaged, and Maria called him all pissed off wondering why he hadn‟t
called her to let him know, and „Why did I have to find out through the newspaper, Patty?‟ God,
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how he hated that name. He said, „Oh, I‟m so sorry, I just forgot.‟ Well, that lit her up like a
rocket. I swear I heard her yelling from the upstairs through the phone. „Patty! How dare you
forget to call me! The disrespect is just – ‟and Patrick hung up the phone.
“After all that, three days before the wedding, Maria called my father and said she would
not be attending due to unforeseen circumstances. My dad asked why. She said that she thought
Eva, Patrick‟s wife, was Italian. Turns out, she‟s – get this – she‟s like half white and half
Polynesian or something! Ha ha ha! Maria told my dad she couldn‟t see her father‟s blood
become any more muddied with the dirt of non-Italians, and that her father rolled in his grave.
My dad couldn‟t even speak.
“He hadn‟t started talking to her again until like eight months ago or something. That
bitch actually called my father for help. My father. Yeah, turns out all the rest of her kids and
grandkids were too busy. Off in the Caribbean vacationing, or joining the Mob or whatever. So
she calls my dad. „Hey Tony, the doctors think I have cancer. I can‟t live alone anymore. Can I
come live with you? I‟m real sick Tony, real sick.‟”
Kelly took a deep breath. She checked her watch and looked outside the open window at
the sunny beach, always sad when she left. Sean looked at his wife, her small frame and pug
nose not revealing anything Italian. She looked Irish. Pure Irish. “I‟m so sorry Sean,” she
mumbled. “Ugh, I know I promised to try and stop ranting about it. That woman. She makes me
so angry – ” she caught herself with a half smile “made me so angry, I could scream.” She
looked out the window to the waves again. She would miss them for a few days.
“Sweetie, I gotta go. The plane leaves in an hour and a half.”
McGuire 8
“Um, are you sure you don‟t want me to go with you? Really, I can call off of work. I‟m
sure the kids would love a break from class anyway. I‟ve been loading them up lately. I‟ll throw
some stuff in a bag and come with you.”
“No, you don‟t want to deal with this. And if I get into it with my family, I don‟t want
you there, okay? Not worth it.”
“Okay, only if you‟re sure though.” Sean look worried. “Call me if you need me. I‟ll be
there in an instant. Do an Irish jig for me at the funeral.” He winked at his wife and grabbed her
suitcase. He walked her out to the car and smacked her butt as she opened the car door. She
laughed and said, “I promise. I‟ll come back a new woman.”
He laughed and said, “Don‟t come back too new. It took me a while to break this model
in.” She laughed and blew him a kiss as she reversed out of the driveway and headed for the
airport.
McGuire 9
2
Kelly‟s plane landed right on time in Ohio. Clouds hovered low and thick, and Kelly‟s
tan stuck out amid the pale-faced Ohioans. She slipped on her pink raincoat, knowing the threat
of rain hung over her head waiting for the right moment to harass her hair. Her yellow sundress
poked out from beneath her jacket, and she began to feel a little uneasy among all the brown and
black bags, shoes, and coats. A couple brave souls went coatless, very brave for March.
While the endless luggage spun in circles waiting to be claimed, she called her mother on
her cell. The phone rang and rang and then finally went to voicemail. Then a small flash of black
collided into Kelly.
“Mom!” she screamed.
Shannon cried. “Oh, baby! My sweet, sweet, baby! I missed you so much! So so much!”
Shannon hugged and tried to rock her child, although Kelly‟s height had surpassed her
mother‟s long ago. The flood of routine questions began.
“How was your flight?” Shannon asked, wiping her eyes.
“Good.”
“How‟s Sean?”
“Fine.”
“How‟s the house?”
“Great, Mom.”
“And the beach?”
“Mom, you‟re welcome any time, I told you that. That‟s why Sean and I got the threebedroom. For visitors,” she added awkwardly, even though they both knew the reason for the
third bedroom. Kelly continued. “Mom, you really should visit, or even live there.” They began
McGuire 10
walking out of the airport and toward the car after Kelly grabbed her suitcase. “I mean, this,” she
motioned toward the dreary sky, “is not a healthy environment.”
“Sweetie, you know I‟d love to, but everyone lives here. Not Florida. You should come
here. Back home.” Shannon had almost worn the phrase out. “You should come back here where
you belong, where Sean belongs.”
“Mom, really, I‟m fine. If Sean and I ever have kids,” she cleared her throat, “then maybe
I‟ll consider moving back.” Shannon winced. “But until then, Florida it is.”
Kelly threw her luggage in the backseat and kept her purse with her in the front. She
fastened her seatbelt, but her mother didn‟t fasten hers, or start the car. “The ocean gives me
peace, Mom. The sand, the warmth, the sun. It‟s open sky and water, mom. I breathe there, take
in a deep lungful of air and hold it, and it‟s all mine. The family here in Ohio is great, but even at
the family parties I feel awkward. Everyone‟s pregnant and happy, and there‟s kids running
around, but I can feel everyone pitying me. I can feel their looks and hear their whispers. And
not having kids right now is not my decision – it‟s God‟s. We try and try and try. If it happens, it
happens. So far, it hasn‟t.”
Shannon stayed silent. “Mom, you have lots of grandbabies right now. The house is
chock full of them. And when Sean and I have kids, we might consider moving back to Ohio. It
was really hard for me last time, Mom. I know everyone‟s happy here, but I‟m not happy in their
way, not yet. God hasn‟t made it happen yet.” Kelly looked out the car window. “But mom,
there‟s one thing I just have to know.” The question had been hanging in the air like smoke, thick
and suffocating. “Why did you let Maria move in?”
Shannon remained silent, eyes turned down to the car mats and filling with tears. “I hate
this,” she said quietly.
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“What‟s wrong, Mom?” asked Kelly.
“I‟m just so upset with you.”
“Why? I‟m here, aren‟t I?”
“Your family calls you because they need you to come home, and when you don‟t, that‟s
despicable! That‟s what I think! I think that you couldn‟t swallow your pride enough to come
home when we needed you is terrible! Haven‟t I raised you better?”
“Apparently you haven‟t, Mom,” and Kelly went to get out of the car, with every
intention of buying a plane ticket and getting out of this hell-hole. She didn‟t even want to be
here anyway. Her mother had no idea what she had been through.
“Don‟t you do this Kelly, don‟t you walk out. Don‟t you leave. When we need you
most.” Shannon put her head in her hands and choked out a sob at the steering wheel.
“What do you need me for, Mom? What can I do?” Kelly sighed.
“There‟s so much you don‟t know.” Shannon sniffed. “Oh God, Kelly, we needed you so
bad.”
“What, mom? What happened? Is Dad okay? What‟s wrong?”
“We didn‟t want to bother you, Kelly.”
“What are you talking about, Mom?”
“Your father made a deal with Maria. Her sickness progressed and we were having, uh,
some financial difficulty, and – ”
“You‟ve got to be kidding me. You went to that woman for money? Are you serious?”
“You weren‟t here Kelly, you don‟t understand. We didn‟t want to tell you, but your
father was only a couple of years from retirement, and then he hurt his leg. They gave him a little
bit, baby, but not enough for the bills. And I wanted to ask you for help. I did, I truly did. But
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your father refused to ask any of you kids for money. I had to get you here. I knew you could
help us. I knew you could convince him. But you wouldn‟t come. Then she moved in, and that
was the deal.”
“What was the deal exactly?” Kelly narrowed her eyes.
“She said she wrote in her will that your father received one half of her estate and money
because of taking such good care of her. The rest is divided amongst the rest of her children.”
“Mom, did you see this all in the will? Did anyone see any of this?”
“Your father said he took care of it.”
“Oh, mom, that is just ridiculous! Do you really think Dad even looked at the thing?
Called an attorney, anything? You could have called me, for God‟s sake! I‟m an attorney! This is
just ridiculous.”
“He didn‟t because she started paying our house bills, and he thought it would be rude.”
“Are you serious? He thought it would be rude? Rude to that woman? She doesn‟t
understand rude. Didn’t understand rude,” said Kelly, correcting herself.
“Well, there‟s only one problem,” she said, ignoring her daughter‟s comments, “there has
to be certain people attending the funeral.”
“Certain people attending the funeral or what?”
“Or we don‟t get the settlement.”
“Who has to attend?”
Shannon fell silent.
“Oh, that‟s precious. That bitch is trying to control my life after she dies. That‟s great.
No, absolutely not. You guys may need to sacrifice to do what you need to do, but I have money.
I came here to support Dad. I‟m not going to the funeral. Whatever money she had and you guys
McGuire 13
need, I‟ll help you. I‟ll give you double whatever she planned on. I don‟t even care. I‟m not
letting this woman do that. Stupid bitch. Who does she think she is? Now I wish I would‟ve
come home to visit. I would‟ve beat the shit out of her! Trying to manipulate my family that
way!”
“Kelly, please understand. You weren‟t supposed to know any of this. After she died
your father and I „agreed‟ to keep it quiet. Please, Kelly. I tolerated that woman for eight months.
Eight months may not seem like a long time to you, but I assure you, it was hell. I did it for your
father because I thought I did the right thing. If you don‟t attend this funeral, all my suffering
was for nothing. All the comments, all the stuff your father didn‟t see. I had to take care of his
leg and your grandmother. I don‟t know what I would do if you didn‟t go to the funeral, Kelly. I
just don‟t know what I would do.”
“Drive, Mom.”
“But Kelly, are you going to go?”
“Take me home, Mom.”
“But Kelly, I thought for sure you would – ”
“Take me home. Now. Or I will get back on that plane.”
Shannon started the car.
Kelly let her mind roam as her mother drove the hour back to her house. She passed
brown patch after brown patch of grass and realized she had forgotten how colorless Ohio stayed
in March. She kept thinking about all her mother had told her. She couldn‟t quite absorb it all.
She had been told so little over the phone conversations; her mother and father had just taken
turns begging and pleading for her to come home, and she had refused to come home while
Maria lived there.
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When they entered Shady Lake, Ohio, Kelly‟s eyes perked up in recognition of the places
surrounding her. The library, the coffee shop with the overstuffed red velvet couches, her old
high school, the police station – everything a family could want in safe suburbia. Kelly and her
mother hadn‟t talked for an hour. They were drawing close to home. Kelly didn‟t want it to be
like this. She could tell her mother had been fuming with a contorted grip of white knuckles on
the steering wheel.
“Mom, I don‟t want to fight like this. This is all Maria ever wanted. To drive our family
apart. We should be celebrating. The bitch is finally dead.”
Shannon responded with no conviction, “Now, don‟t you talk like that,” although Kelly
could see a smile forming underneath the pinched corners of her mother‟s mouth.
“Hey, how is she going to know if I attend?”
“She‟s having her attorney attend the funeral as well.”
“Are you serious? To do a head count? She never ceases to amaze me. Um, Patrick?
Present. Maggie? Present. Kelly? Oh, not present. Too bad, you don‟t get the money. You lose!”
Kelly started laughing. “How pathetic is that? She needs to blackmail family members into
attending her funeral for money! Her control issues never cease to amaze me.”
Shannon loosened up. She said, “Oh, you have no idea. The night before she died, I got in
a fight with her over the towels in her bathroom. I always washed and hung everything just so.
Well, that night, she literally started screaming from the bathroom. I thought she was kicking the
bucket; I kind of assumed it would be dramatic. You know, „Oh, but I’m not ready to go Lord,
don’t take me yet!‟ and those kinds of antics, so I prepared myself. But, no. She screamed
because the towels were hung „improperly.‟ When I left in the middle of her talking, she came
waddling after me, brandishing the towel, yelling „Shanny! Shanny! You get back here right now
McGuire 15
and watch me fold this the right way! Shanny!‟ I slammed my bedroom door in her face. Your
father wasn‟t home, luckily. He would‟ve started yelling worse than his mother. You know how
he is.”
“Yeah, he‟s all bark and no bite.”
“After putting up with his mother though, he better calm down a little. And your poor
husband better look out; the poor guy has a wife with a nasty mix of Irish and Italian blood that
makes her hotter‟n a firecracker.”
Kelly laughed. “Oh, he knows. So, what‟s going on at the house right now?”
Shannon smiled devilishly. “You know how you thought we should be celebrating?
Well…” Shannon turned onto their street, and cars lined the road, balloons were tied floating to
the mailbox. Kelly laughed so hard tears came to her eyes.
“I told your father that the party was for your homecoming. But everyone there knows
what the party‟s really for.” Shannon winked knowingly at her daughter.
Kelly‟s palms started to sweat. She hadn‟t seen her family in over, what had it been? A
year? A year and a half? In a family where seeing each other a couple times a month was
common, a year and a half became an eternity. As they pulled into the drive, an army of children
ran to the car, covered in face paint, carrying balloons, and blowing bubbles out of containers.
“Looks like we‟re parking here,” said Shannon.
When Kelly got out of the car, all the children screamed and jumped for her attention.
“Auntie Kelly, Auntie Kelly! Look, I‟m five now! See FIVE! One – two – three – four
five!” said the boy, counting proudly on his fingers.
“And Auntie Kelly look! I‟m seven and I have a pink cat on my face!– ”
“Auntie Kelly! Look I gots a frog from the lake over there! –”
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“Aunt Kelly! Hi, Aunt Kelly! Guess what? My teacher said I should be a lawyer person
like you some day because I like to talk! –”
“Auntie Kelly! Aunt Kelly! I have a boxer now and his name is Chops, because he
slobbers like this.” The child mimed his dog by pulling out his cheeks and shoving saliva
between his lips. “And he doesn‟t bite anyone either! I pull his hair and everything and he don‟t
get mad at all. Not like the stupid cat,” he said with a frown.
“Okay, okay everyone,” Shannon interrupted. “I‟m going to get Kelly settled in the
house. You all go play now.” All the children squealed, “Okay Grandmama!” and ran off in
seven different directions.
“Weren‟t ready for that kind of a greeting, were ya?” Shannon smiled in pride after the
little ones. “If I had known how fun grandkids were, I would have skipped having children!”
Shannon laughed and grabbed Kelly‟s suitcase. Shannon saw Kelly‟s tense limbs as she looked
after the children.
“Are you sure you‟re going to be okay here?” She added awkwardly, “with all the
children and all?”
“I‟ll be fine,” Kelly said, with gritted teeth and tear-rimmed eyes. “Mom, I got that
suitcase.”
“Nah, I got it. Come on, girlie. Let‟s get you inside and get you some coffee.”
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3
Tony waited inside, talking to himself. “They should have been back by now. Her flight
was supposed to land over an hour ago. I knew I should have gone to get her. Shannon probably
got lost. Oh, God Almighty. Where is that woman?” He ran his fingers through his non-existent
hair and adjusted his glasses for the eighth time. The paper lay unread in front of him still folded,
his untouched coffee becoming a cloudy black. “I can‟t believe this. An hour ago. Not minutes.
An hour. What did I get her a cell phone for if she‟s not going to use it?” He stared out the
window to the backyard. The entire family waited, eating and drinking without end. “How rude,”
sighed Tony. “Being late to your own party. Well, maybe the flight was late. If it was, I‟m
calling to complain.”
The front door opened, and Gypsy howled and whimpered when she saw Kelly. “Hey
girl,” Kelly cooed. “Come here baby.” Gypsy limped over, her back hips contorted from painful
arthritis. “It‟s okay baby. It‟s okay,” she said as she scratched Gypsy‟s ears. “Mommy‟s home.”
Tony turned the corner from the kitchen and his eyes welled when he saw his daughter.
She looked up and smiled. “Hey Dad! Long time, no see, eh?” She ran and gave her father a hug,
happy to be home. “Now, now,” said Tony. “No need to get all upset or anything. I‟m glad
you‟re safe and home.” He rounded on his wife. “Why do you have a cell phone if you‟re not
going to use it? Huh? What‟s the point?”
“Whoa, Dad. It‟s fine. Mom and I were talking. I haven‟t seen her for a while either.”
“Oh, please,” said Shannon. “I can handle your father.” Shannon looked at the untouched
paper and coffee. “So you were going to sit home and relax right? And not call the airport to see
what time her flight landed, right?” Tony hurrumphed and grabbed his coffee. “This is my
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second cup, actually,” and to demonstrate, he took a sip, choking on the cold, bitter taste.
Shannon laughed. “I got her home safe and sound. You can relax now.”
“So have a seat,” said Tony, smiling at his daughter and pulling out her chair for her.
“Wow, just wow. Look at you! How‟s Sean?”
“He‟s good. Teaching‟s going well for him, and I guess the students have their Advanced
Placement tests coming up soon, so he‟s been pretty busy.”
“What are those tests for?”
“They can get college credit.”
“In my day, we didn‟t have anything like that, if kids went to college at all. Now these
people are giving away college credit away for free in the high schools? That‟s what my tax
dollars are paying for?”
“No, Dad.” Kelly laughed. “When they start giving away free college credit, I‟m sure the
whole nation will know.”
“So how‟s the firm?”
“Good, and busy. We have a couple big cases coming up, but I snuck out a week before
they‟re doling out the assignments, so I won‟t know until I get back.”
“You‟re not missing anything too important, are you?”
“Nah, not too much. I can always catch up,” Kelly said.
Shannon brought Kelly a hot cup of coffee, with lots of cream and sugar, and the three of
them sat for a moment just watching all the family outside. Two of the younger boys were
attempting to wrestle, Maggie bounced a baby on her knee, pregnant with another, and more
people and children meandered about, running and talking and eating. Tiki torches surrounded
McGuire 19
the white party tent, the flames flicking in the wind. “I know it‟s not the ocean,” said Shannon,
“but it sure is nice.”
Kelly smiled at her mother. “Yeah, it is.” Kelly inhaled the scent of her coffee before
taking a deep swig. She could feel the beginnings of a migraine, and she hoped the coffee would
stave it off until bedtime. Right then, Maggie came bursting in through the back door. “Kelly!”
she screamed. She waddled, half-ran over to Kelly. “How‟s my big sister! Oh my goodness, look
at you! Have you been putting on enough weight, you look a little thin.”
Kelly smiled and said, “You look like the big sister to me now!” Maggie rubbed her
pregnant belly with joy. Maggie never hid her joys of pregnancy, even around Kelly. She always
told Kelly that a baby happens when it happens. All you need is some food, some whiskey, and
comfy sheets – the baby would happen shortly after, according to Maggie.
“Baby number three, on the way.”
Kelly said, “I think we just need to start assigning everyone a letter here. And when we
run out of letters we‟ll move to numbers.” Everyone laughed.
“Why aren‟t you coming outside? Everyone wants to see you,” Maggie said.
“I know, I‟ll be out in ten minutes. I just needed some coffee and a chair for a second.”
“Okay, well, the kids want to play games when you get out here, so be prepared,” she
said, eyeing Kelly‟s yellow dress with worry.
“I‟ll change into sweats when I come out.”
“Okay,” said Maggie, not believing her sister. Maggie shut the door softly behind her and
held her pregnancy with one hand.
Kelly‟s palms started to sweat lightly, and the migraine spread to her shoulders. She
knew she had to talk her father, but didn‟t really know how to begin. Kelly was about to start
McGuire 20
talking about his mother. Not a friend. Not a neighbor. His mother. Even if she had been the
devil incarnate. She didn‟t even know how to begin. Her father bridged the discomfort for her,
quite abruptly. He never liked subtleties.
“So are you going to the funeral or not, Kelly?”
“Anthony Vincent!” Shannon interrupted.
“It‟s fine, Mom,” said Kelly.
“Hey, I got a right to know. Now I‟m happy to see my daughter, but she is here because
of my mother. I need to know if she‟s going or not, Shan. I can‟t play these stupid little games
anymore. She‟s dead; I know everyone‟s just so freaking joyful. And that‟s great and all, but
she‟s still my mother, and I got a right to know.”
“Is anyone else going?” Kelly asked.
“Yes.”
“Who?”
“Everyone.”
“Even Patrick? Why is he going? After everything?” Kelly could feel her temper swelling
in her sternum with her effort to suppress it, causing her head to start pounding through her
sinuses.
“He‟s not exactly going for noble reasons, Kelly.”
“Why is he going then?”
“He wants to make sure she‟s actually dead.”
“Oh.” Kelly got quiet, even though a smile erupted in her brain at her brother‟s bold
honesty.
“Yeah, so, the rest of the family is going. The last person we have to know about is you.”
McGuire 21
“How come so soon?”
“Because after the funeral tomorrow, there is going to be a wake. And at that wake, we
need to know if there needs to be a seat for you.” Kelly knew her father stalled for an answer,
and that he used the wake as a way to see if she was going.
“You planned on me not attending?”
“I knew you wouldn‟t want to, so no, I didn‟t plan on it. If we need to throw an extra
chair in, it‟s completely fine. But I need to know.” Kelly looked at her father, concern and pain
and ferocity all painted together on his face.
“I didn‟t want you to have any pressure, Kelly. This is your decision. I want you to be
there, but if you don‟t want to be there, I won‟t make you go.”
Shannon‟s face swelled with rage behind Tony. Shannon said, “I have to go check on the
party. And let the guests. Know where you are. Kelly.” Shannon swept out of the room.
Tony ignored the small interruption. He leaned forward on the table and looked into his
daughter‟s eyes, the same stubborn, fixated, almond shape.
“I know your mother told you about the will.” He raised his hand to stop his daughter
from speaking. “I don‟t want you to pretend she didn‟t, and I don‟t want you to verify if she did.
All I want you to know is that this is up to you, and I want you to know that neither your mother
nor myself knew about the „attendance‟ clause until the attorney called yesterday. If we had,
well, we probably wouldn‟t have had her.” He paused and cleared his throat.
“Anyway, the point is the situation is up to you. I know your feelings. I know that your
mother has put up with a lot these past eight months. But that has nothing to do with this. This is
your decision, and I don‟t want your mother pushing you. I will not allow it. My mother pushed
enough, God rest her soul. This will be up to you.”
McGuire 22
His eyes started to well up. “It has been a hard few months, and an even harder past few
days. I have had to watch my own mother abuse my family for years, and now the past few
months. I know you didn‟t want to come home, but you did anyway. I‟m just happy you‟re here.
If this is that important to you, don‟t go. Stand up for what you believe in, just like I taught you.”
Tony looked upwards, pretending to look at the lights above so the tears wouldn‟t overflow.
“Before I tell you what I‟m gonna do Dad, can I ask you a question?” He kept staring at
the lights. “Sure, honey. Anything you want.” She swallowed hard. Switching roles from parent
to child happened to be more difficult and awkward than she thought.
“How bad is the money right now?”
“We‟re fine, we‟ll be just fine.”
“Dad, I don‟t want you to pretend. I need to know. Sincerely.”
“Sincerely?”
“Sincerely.”
“It‟s a little tough, I‟m not gonna lie. But your mother and I have always scraped by. And
we will now if need be.”
“Can I ask you one more question?”
“Shoot.”
“Does the will sincerely rest on me?”
“Yes.”
“Well, there‟s only one thing left to do then.”
“What‟s that?”
“Go outside and play with my beautiful nieces and nephews.” Tony smiled at his
daughter.
McGuire 23
“How was the ride home with your mother?”
“We fought.”
“To be expected. Two Irish women in the same car of the same blood? Trapped in a car
even? I‟m surprised you two are here alive.” He chuckled. “But you two are okay now?”
“Yeah, you know how we are.”
“Yeah, you got your attitude and stubbornness from me, and the temper from her. I
almost felt bad giving you to Sean at your wedding. I kind of felt like you should come with a
return policy.”
“Ha, ha, Dad, very funny.” Kelly smiled with an eye roll and went to go change.
“Hey Kelly, I like that dress by the way. It‟s very nice on you. Why did you choose to
wear it though? Here? In Ohio?”
“I felt the state could use a little sunshine,” she said as she left the room.
McGuire 24
4
The next morning, Kelly woke up early, before everyone else woke up. She got up before
her alarm clock went off. She slipped into her running shoes and went jogging. As her feet
pounded the sidewalk, the cold morning air jolted her awake. She wasn‟t used to the cold; she‟d
been removed from it for too long. The air entered her lungs uncomfortably, not used to the cold
invader. She breathed steady, matching her breathing to her steps. Her feet felt awkward trapped
in the rubber.
Each step refreshed her and cleared her head. She woke without a migraine, and she felt
immensely relieved. Everything sounded soundless. There wasn‟t the normal backdrop of the
ocean, filling the empty cavities of her brain; just complete silence. It both frightened and
relaxed her. As she jogged, she thought of Sean and wondered how his morning was going; if he
even got up yet. She let her mind unwind, thinking about the funeral. As she jogged, she
wondered about her parents. Things hadn‟t always been smooth with them, but they had always
wanted the best for her. No matter how bad things got, they had always been there. Even when
she took off to Florida. They didn‟t even try to stop her. After she got there, her mom often
wanted her to come back, but like her Dad always said, “That is to be expected. Kelly will do
what Kelly wants to do.” Her dad knew she would come back one day; pushing her was like
pushing a brick wall – all you would get was frustration and a headache.
She thought about him. She never thought his name. It hurt too much. He would have
been three today. Kelly didn‟t know how she would even make it through the day. She thought
about the long day ahead. Kissing people she didn‟t want to kiss, looking like she liked people
she didn‟t want to like. The awkward meal at the wake. As she jogged though, she slipped. She
couldn‟t push him out of her mind any longer, no matter how hard she tried. “Happy birthday,
McGuire 25
Jack,” she whispered aloud. The tears started to flow. She couldn‟t even control it. Too much had
happened. Between the phone calls, not sleeping, the memories, the funeral, the will, and the
party last night with her entire family, she just couldn‟t take it. She found a lone pathway and sat
down, her back against a tree. She curled her head in the crook of her elbow and just cried. She
wrapped her arms around herself and just cried and rocked, cried and rocked.
Sean had wanted her to attend therapy, but she had refused. She hadn‟t cried the entire
first year. She just took off to Florida and Sean followed. She became an empty working
machine. She logged the most hours at the office and was on the fast track for partner. People
didn‟t understand her “unbelievable energy” – what she called a mix of insomnia and exercise.
When she finally did start crying, she cried alone. She held her stomach cried on the cold tile of
the bathroom floor. Sean had pretended not to know, until he finally suggested therapy. Kelly
looked him in the eye and told him therapy was for weak people and walked away.
He stuck by her though, and after two years she was finally starting to get better. She
slept almost four hours a night and smiled often. She let Sean jog with her, and they started
playing golf again and swam in the ocean on her days off.
Then the phone calls from home started. Sean didn‟t know what had happened. He knew
it had something to do with her grandmother that she wasn‟t really close to, so Sean didn‟t see
what the problem was. And then Kelly started withdrawing again, not sleeping, eating only small
amounts of whatever he cooked. He even called Shannon for recipes when he thought Kelly
wouldn‟t find out.
Kelly didn‟t know how to deal with herself anymore. She just knew she could not see
Maria again or she would kill her. So she left Sean out of it and tried to deal with it on her own,
McGuire 26
again. She was just so relieved when she got the phone call from her mom about Maria‟s death.
She hoped she could finally be at peace.
Kelly‟s tears had slowed to a steady roll and she looked up at the thick gray clouds that
continually covered the sky. When she calmed enough, she looked upward and made one fierce
request to God: “If that woman makes it past your gates, don‟t you let her near my baby.”
She rose off the cold soggy ground, brushing the moist dirt off her sweats. She continued
jogging, not too hard, but enough to test her heart and make her lungs work for air. She hated
Maria so much. She hated her for everything she had done. She didn‟t know why her
grandmother had hated life so much and made it miserable for everyone else. Kelly didn‟t feel
like age and sickness forgave people either; people did what they did, and wrinkles couldn‟t
forgive them. But still, what right did Kelly have to take away what her mother and father had
worked so long for?
By the time Kelly reached home, she knew she had to go to the funeral. She wouldn‟t be
the one responsible for her parents‟ continued suffering. She would not carry that burden. She
didn‟t feel like Maria won either; she had to blackmail family into coming to her own funeral.
Kelly thought that meant Maria lost the war overall. When she entered the front door, Gypsy
wobbled up and greeted Kelly weakly, and Kelly could smell coffee brewing. She heard the
bubbling and hissing, and she could hear the crackling of the bacon on the griddle. The aroma
filled Kelly and reminded her of her empty stomach. She had a stronger appetite than she had
had in months.
“Morning Mom, morning Dad,” Kelly said.
“Plates are in the cupboard over there – we switched some things around a little. Please
set the table and wash up.”
McGuire 27
Kelly felt like she was back in high school all over again, waking up to Sunday breakfast.
It gave her comfort. She looked at her father flipping agitatedly through the newspaper on the
table, already dressed in his black suit. His shoes were shined, and purple circles lined the rims
of his eyes.
“So what are your plans today?” asked Shannon, trying to sound nonchalant.
“I‟m going to the funeral with you guys, and then I guess whatever needs done around
here I‟ll give you guys a hand with.”
Tony dropped the paper to the table and looked at his daughter, eyes round and mouth
open. Shannon dropped a plate of bacon which hit the floor with a crash.
Tony collected himself quickly and said, “Okay. We‟re leaving at noon for the church,”
and went back to reading the paper with difficulty. Shannon scrambled to clean up the broken
glass and bacon bits, and Kelly grabbed a rag to help.
“No. No. I got this,” Shannon said, “you just get yourself some coffee and whatever‟s left
of the bacon. Eggs are already done on the counter. Orange juice is in the fridge.” Shannon knelt
down and cleaned the floor quickly so no one would get hurt. She had bags under her eyes, and
her hands shook.
“Mom, I got this,” said Kelly. Shannon dropped the rag and leaned back against the floor
cupboards cupping her face in her hands. Tears pushed themselves from between her pinkies,
and she hid the fact she cried from Tony. She pulled her hands away from her face for a moment
and mouthed “thank you” at Kelly. Kelly winked at her mother and cleaned up the glass and
bacon.
After breakfast and Kelly‟s shower, she borrowed her parent‟s car to buy a black suit for
the occasion. No matter how badly she wanted to wear her yellow dress, she didn‟t want
McGuire 28
anything to slow the proceedings of her family getting the money they deserved. She bought a
tight-fitting suit, along with a silk champagne top to go under it. Her mother and father sat
waiting for her on the couch, her father flipping through channels and not talking at all. Her
mother seemed indifferent to the whole thing. She sat crocheting absentmindedly, humming
something nondescript. Kelly ran upstairs and did her hair and makeup and called Sean.
“How‟re you holdin‟ up hon? How‟s the family?”
“Oh, just lovely. My dad‟s a mess, and I think my mom just views this as a wasteful
Sunday. I heard the wake should be good though.”
“So after all that, you‟re going to the funeral?” Kelly heard the skepticism ringing in
Sean‟s voice.
“Yes, I‟m going. And a girl‟s allowed to change her mind,” Kelly said innocently.
“Not my wife. She never changes her mind when her bull head wraps itself around
something. What changed her mind?” Kelly whispered out of respect for her father.
“Well, you wanna know what that bitch did?”
“I knew there had to be something.”
“Apparently there‟s a clause in her will. Since my parents took care of her, they will be
receiving half of her estate.”
“That‟s fantastic! The bitch was useful for something then, right?”
“There‟s a catch.” Kelly could almost feel Sean‟s signature eye roll. “All of the family
has to be in attendance at the funeral. As in everyone, including me, for my parents to get the
settlement.”
“Are you kidding me? After all your parents did for that woman?”
“I know, right? So anyway, I was jogging this morning.”
McGuire 29
“Like every morning.”
She finally brought herself to say it. “And I thought about Jack. It‟s his birthday today.”
She could hear Sean freeze.
“I know,” he said. “Are you sure you‟re doing okay?”
“I just,” she didn‟t want to start crying again, covering up her puffy eyes had been
painstaking. “I couldn‟t keep suffering anymore. She‟s gone. Maybe I can try to start over in my
head, you know? Like start all the way over. I know I‟ve put you through a lot.”
“Honey– ”
“No, let me finish. I know I put you through a lot these past few years. I just broke down
on my jog. It‟s just too much. I think I just flipped out after the last conversation I had with
Maria.”
“I thought you hadn‟t talked to her in years.”
“I lied.” She paused. The phone call she had had with her grandmother was the only time
she had ever lied to Sean, about anything. “She called me the day of Jack‟s funeral.”
“What did she say to you?” Sean‟s voice lowered to a hiss.
“There‟s no point in getting angry now because she‟s already dead, okay?” Sean didn‟t
respond. “The contractions started and you took me to the hospital that night, and remember
when everyone showed up? Even though it was like three in the morning? It was like a party in
the waiting room with my entire family. I didn‟t see what happened but you were filling me in, in
between contractions. And then you know when the pain got really bad? And I told you if
something went wrong I wanted them to save Jack and not me? And you fought with the doctors,
God how you fought with the doctors.” Kelly took a deep breath and listened to the continued
silence on the other end. She knew he was crying too.
McGuire 30
“Then they came in and told us that his heart rate was dropping, and I panicked. I flipped
out and I begged you to do something. All I kept thinking about was his crib and how he had to
come out okay because his crib was ready. And he had to be in that crib sleeping later. They
rushed me to that other part of the hospital, the part where the really sick people go, and his heart
rate just kept dropping. And then it stopped completely.”
Kelly cried openly now. “By the time they got him out it was too late. The one thing I
was supposed to be able to do, to bring Jack into the world safely, and I failed. They cleaned him
up and let me hold him for a brief moment, and I sobbed and said I was so sorry that I failed. I
didn‟t even get to see the light shine behind his blue eyes, Sean. His beautiful blue eyes. I knew I
let you down too, Sean. I know I did. And I‟m sorry for that. But I can‟t hold it in anymore. I‟m
weak and I‟m sorry.”
She paused and wiped her face and nose with the back of her hand. “And then they made
that beautiful little casket for him. I begged God to take me instead because when I held him for
that short time, and felt that love in my heart, I knew I couldn‟t live without it.
“Then you brought me back to the car, and Maggie and my mom met us back at the
house. I didn‟t think I could see anyone else. Do you remember when you all left me in his room
alone for a while? I sat in the middle of the floor with that blue blanket. I ran it between my
fingers and just started to sob into that blanket that was supposed to be Jack‟s.
“Then I got a call on my cell phone. I never told you this. I‟m so sorry I didn‟t tell you,
but I just couldn‟t. I didn‟t know it was her at first, I wasn‟t really thinking. I thought maybe it
was my dad or one of my brothers or someone. I was looking into his empty crib, tears running
down my face, and I said, „Hello?‟ She said, „Do you know who this is?‟ And I said, „No, I‟m
sorry.‟ She said, „It‟s your grandmother Maria, and I have something to tell you.‟ And she just
McGuire 31
kept talking. „Do you see what you have brought on my family with your filthy Irish blood? You
couldn‟t even give birth to your own child. You killed him. He didn‟t even have a chance to be
baptized. Now his skull will pave the path to Hell, all because of you.‟”
Kelly paused and took a deep breath. “All I remember after that is gasping and dropping
the phone. And that‟s why my mom found me on the floor and almost called the ambulance.”
Silence hung in the static between them. Kelly had nothing left to say. All her shame now
aired between them. Sean didn‟t respond for a moment.
All he could manage was a soft, “Oh my God.” Kelly had controlled her crying and
wiped her face with a towel from her shower earlier. “Oh my God,” Sean repeated, louder and
angrier this time. “Who did that bitch think she was? For God‟s sake you just put your son in the
ground. Our son. Who did she think she was?” His voice grew louder. “That is just abominable.
She‟s lucky she‟s dead, or I would go tie her to the back of my car and drag her ass all over
Ohio. I hope God has some special punishment reserved for her. I can‟t even begin - ”
“I know, Sean. I didn‟t want to tell anyone. After that I knew I couldn‟t face anyone.
Seeing everyone else pregnant and happy was just too much. I knew I wouldn‟t make it through
another family party. No way. Last night was the first one I‟ve been too, and I‟m happy for
Maggie and Pat and everyone, but it‟s just a lot. But I want to let that go now. Maria‟s dead, she
can‟t harm my family anymore. After this funeral, it‟s over. I‟m done.”
Sean said, “You know Jack‟s not your fault right?”
“Please, Sean, don‟t start with – ”
“No, you need to hear this. What happened was not your fault. It was not your fault and
you can‟t carry that anymore. Nothing you could have done would have stopped what happened.
I don‟t blame you. Your family doesn‟t blame you. I want my wife back, Kelly. I know this is
McGuire 32
hard, and we‟ve made it through a lot, but you‟re never going to move on if you keep beating
yourself up. And I‟m not saying „move on‟ as if forgetting about Jack is the way to do that. You
can still love him and miss him every day, but you can‟t keep doing this to yourself. I love you
so much. Don‟t do it anymore.”
Kelly didn‟t know what to say. She mumbled out a weak, “Okay,” and wiped her face
again. She didn‟t know what else to say to her husband. He deserved so much more.
“And just for the record, I get why you wouldn‟t go visit her now. Sorry for pushing
you.”
“It‟s fine. I never thought I would say this about anyone, but I am so happy she‟s dead.”
Kelly took a refreshing deep breath and closed her eyes. “I probably have to finish getting ready
now.”
“Let me know if you want me there, hon. I‟ll leave tonight.”
“I know you would. No, just keep the waves company for me, and I‟ll be home soon.”
“I love you, Kelly.”
“I love you too, Sean.”
McGuire 33
5
The sky opened up and emptied itself. As Kelly, Shannon, and Tony got into the car,
basic arrangements were being discussed: who took care of the flowers, the funeral costs, who
was meeting them at the church. Tony barely talked. His haggard eyes seemed to press their
weight down onto his mouth and prevent his lips from moving. Aunt Eva apparently had
everything done, since she was Maria‟s oldest daughter; of course, she had only been back to
visit once before her mother‟s death. This didn‟t even seem remotely fair after all Maria had
done for Eva‟s kids; they were the ones that had been so spoiled. Dante received a car when he
graduated high school and Anna Maria had received the family jewels – multiple necklaces filled
with diamonds, family rubies and emeralds – possessions that had passed through generations.
After all the money and attention, Eva only visited once, and Tony had heard that Dante and
Anna may be too busy to attend the funeral. So much for buying love.
Kelly sat mostly in silence as well. She had a plan. She would sit in the back of the
church and try to find the attorney. She would notify him of her presence and show him her I.D.
if necessary. She would sit through the rest of the mass in silence. After the mass, she would
attend the funeral, and she would attend the wake. She would not talk. She would eat. Apparently
the attorney had a meeting with the Vanicello side shortly after the wake the same day.
Kelly would do her share. And then she would forget Maria ever existed. She would
forget that someone had such a negative impact on her life, and she would not be burdened with
her family‟s financial suffering. Everything would be fine.
Kelly, Tony, and Shannon pulled up to the church which had very few cars. Kelly
suppressed a snicker, realizing she had been expecting a massive funeral. This barely resembled
a tea party. She knew how the attorney could make a head count now. She got out of the car and
McGuire 34
saw her brother Patrick exit his massive van. With four children, they sure needed a big vehicle.
No children got out though. Kelly ran to her brother and jumped in his arms.
“Patrick!”
“Hey Kell-Bell! What‟s up? How is everything? Such a shame we gotta catch up at a
funeral, but it could be a worse funeral.” He shot her a wink.
“Where‟s Eva?”
“She‟s not feeling too well.”
“Morning sickness?”
“Yep.”
“That‟s fantastic. Congratulations! Did you tell mom yet?”
“No, I wanted to wait until after the funeral and mom had a chance to breathe. I wanted
her to be completely happy, not just sorta happy because she had that bitch,” he pointed toward
the church, “was raising hell about more mutt grandchildren.”
“I gotcha.”
“Yeah, so in about a week we plan on breaking the news.” He sighed contentedly. “You
know, I hate funerals, but this one was sure deserved.”
“Yeah, I know.” Kelly shouldn‟t have fought with her mother about attending the funeral,
which was such a joyous occasion. She would apologize again later.
“So, think Satan‟s ready for the old broad?”
“I told mom he hadn‟t taken her for a while because he had to build up his defenses. You
know, he‟s probably afraid she‟s going to take over.”
“Yeah, I know. We better make it to Heaven so we don‟t have to see the bitch again. You
know, make sure this funeral is the last time.”
McGuire 35
“I‟ll cut a deal with St. Peter,” said Kelly, and they walked into the church together
laughing.
Kelly froze temporarily when she saw the casket at the front of the church. It had already
been sealed shut. She wouldn‟t even have to touch the body or anything, or pretend to say
goodbye and risk saying „Fuck you‟ to a dead body in a church.
She spotted a well-dressed man standing to her left by the font, his shoes glimmered in
the weak candlelight, and his perfect suit too expensive to be a mourning cousin. Kelly
approached him. He held a notebook and scanned the crowd, pen in his hand.
“Hi, are you Maria Vanicello‟s attorney?” Kelly said.
“Why, yes I am. Who are you?” he asked, a little too friendly for her comfort.
“My name is Kelly McConnelly. Uh, maiden name, Vanicello.” She winced,
remembering that she had once been a Vanicello. After getting married and switching her name
to McConnelly, she signed her name with pride and dignity, knowing no one would ever know
she had had such a despicable name. She looked Irish, her husband was Irish, and her name was
Irish. Everything had worked out wonderfully.
“What can I do for you, uh, Mrs. McConnelly?” He smiled, his black, greasy mustache
shining in the church candlelight.
“Well, I just wanted to inform you that I am here.”
“Mrs. McConnelly, I am glad to know you‟re here.”
“Why?”
“To be quite honest, you‟re the prettiest little thing I have seen walk through those church
doors, and quite frankly you‟ve given my eyes a pleasant break.”
“I am a married woman, sir and – “
McGuire 36
“And I am a man who just happens to be giving a pretty lady a compliment.” He smiled,
which ended up looking more like a grimace.
Kelly swallowed her urge to punch the man. “I am also an attorney. I would appreciate if
you could talk with at least some level of decency and decorum. Additionally, I have been
notified about my grandmother‟s will, and I came over to notify you of my mandatory presence. I
will be attending the entire church ceremony and funeral, I will also be attending the wake. If
anything else is required, please let me know.”
“Oh, so you’re the Kelly in the „Kelly clause‟. Very interesting.” He brushed his
mustache downward with his index finger and thumb.
“Oh, really? And what is interesting, uh, Mr. …?”
“Call me Angelo.” He took a step toward Kelly, but she held her ground. Their faces
were within inches of each other. He took a finger and dragged it lightly down the curve of her
face from her ear to her chin. Kelly raised her hand to slap him, but Angelo caught her wrist. “Ah
ah ah!” he said, wagging his finger at her. “Very strong I see. That‟s what‟s beautiful about you
Irish women. So fiesty. So, how should I say, so full of energy.” Angelo smiled, his smile
crinkling the corners of his eyes, the candlelight catching his eyes and making them flash. “ I
think there is a point of interest in Maria‟s will for you. In fact, I‟m surprised no one discussed it
with you!” he said with dramatic indignation.
“And what is that, Angelo?” Kelly said, ripping her wrist away from his grip.
“You actually have to sign a couple things for the money to be released.”
“That‟s not what I was told.”
“You were told wrong. Come by my office after everything is over, and you sign what
you need to sign, and then your poor parents can have their pittance.”
McGuire 37
“How dare you talk about my parents that way!”
“I didn‟t create the situation, darling. I‟m only the messenger.” Angelo walked away.
Kelly plopped down in the back of the church, red in the face, finding it hard to breathe.
Patrick looked around for his sister from the front of the church but couldn‟t find her. He had a
seat at the front and saved her a spot. He got up to go look around the back of the church and
found his sister, nearly hyperventilating, in the back pew.
“Hey sis, you okay?” She didn‟t respond. She just breathed quicker.
“Sis. Earth to sis.” He waved his hand in front of her face. Still no response.
“If you‟re having a panic attack on me right now, I‟m gonna kill you. Don‟t you dare be
sad she‟s dead. This is ridiculous. You‟re even worse than Maggie, and Maggie has an excuse
because she‟s pregnant. Sis! Sis!”
Kelly rolled her eyes slowly upward and looked at Patrick, still hyperventilating. “I think
I‟m gonna be sick,” she said. Patrick grabbed his sister and led her out by the hand through the
back of the church. Once outside, Kelly started to dry heave. After she calmed, she sat down
shakily on the church steps and breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. Patrick
stood nearby and lit a cigarette.
“You stress me out more than mom sometimes. And I see you less,” said Patrick.
“When does the ceremony begin?”
“We got about forty-five minutes. So you better pull your shit together. The choir‟s about
to start singing Ave Maria. And yes, she actually hired a choir. No stereo music for Miss Maria,
no siree bob.” He took a long drag and stared at the heavy clouds. “At least it stopped raining.
Want one?” He pulled his pack from his suit jacket and waved it in Kelly‟s direction, almost
afraid to get too close in case she started projectile vomiting like his kids sometimes did. She
McGuire 38
shook her head „yes‟. Patrick lit it for her and leaned against the side of the church. She took a
drag and let the smoke settle in her lungs. She held it there, praying that the nicotine would hit
her blood quickly. She sat on the church steps and thought about the weird things people pray
for. Maybe praying on the church steps had a more direct link to God.
“So, what freaked you out anyway in there? You kinda flipped out.” Patrick chuckled to
himself. “It was like that one time you drank too much at Christmas and mom and dad didn‟t
know because you were too young, and we had to hide the fact that you were drunk. Then you
started puking and turned that plan to shit. But we sure gave it a try.” He laughed and inhaled on
his cigarette.
Kelly sat, smoking deeply and trying to ignore her brother‟s voice. She needed a plan.
Her temper usually wasn‟t this bad. Of course the Italian would make her pissy-faced.
“You really want to know what freaked me out?”
“Sure,” said Patrick, still looking up at the sky.
“That bastard attorney in there is disgusting. He touched my face.”
“You‟re near vomiting because a man touched your face?”
“No, he was gross. Like creepy gross. And I had a big breakfast, I‟m not used to that
much grease, okay? And then he told me that I had to come by and sign some papers after
everything before Mom and Dad could get the money.” Kelly paused and silently kicked herself.
“Oh shit, you weren‟t supposed to know that.”
“Get what money?” said Patrick, taking another drag.
“Oh shit, you can‟t tell mom and dad you know.”
“I won‟t. We‟re not five anymore. Relax.”
McGuire 39
“All of us, especially me, has to be at the funeral today, and then mom and dad get half of
Maria‟s estate.”
“And I thought mom just wanted us here because she‟s a Christian.” Patrick winked at his
sister.
“So anyway, I‟m here but now the attorney said I have to come by and sign some papers
later before they can get the money.”
“Well, you‟re the attorney, have you ever heard of anything like that before?”
“Wills and estates aren‟t exactly my thing, but I wouldn‟t be shocked by anything Maria
would pull.”
“Okay, that sucks, but you‟re here, so no dig deal, right? She was a bitch, but they‟ll get
their money, so what‟s there to worry about? You go sign the papers, and the money is in mom
and dad‟s hands.”
“He‟s so creepy though!”
“What happened to the Kelly I used to know? You know, the one that had a pretty nice
right hook the last time I checked?” He patted his jaw knowingly. “I tell you what. I‟ll take you
after all this shit is over. You run in, sign the papers, come back out, and I‟ll get you some
whiskey later and loosen you right back up again.” He put a hand on his sister‟s shoulder. “I‟m
not gonna lie, you surprised me when you showed up here without any in your system.” He
winked at his sister.
“Patrick! I‟ve gotten a lot better with the drinking!”
“I ain‟t judgin‟ sis. All I’m saying is that you were a lot more fun a few years back, that‟s
all. And please, who ever gets „better‟ with drinking? There are just times when people drink and
people don‟t drink. There is no better, silly.”
McGuire 40
“What would Eva think?”
“Eva‟s got three at home and she‟s pregnant. And I‟m the one who got her pregnant. Or
so she tells me,” he said with a smile. “She probably wants me out of the house tonight anyway.
Give her some peace and quiet. And,” he looked side to side as if Eva secretly hid behind the
church, “what she doesn‟t know won‟t hurt her, right?” He flicked his cigarette to the ground and
put out a hand to his sister to help her stand up.
“It‟ll be fine,” said Patrick, “but I might trip him on the way out of church. Now let‟s go
see this broad put to rest.”
They walked into the church together. Kelly wanted to sit in the back, but Patrick said he
had a fun surprise for her, so they walked to the front. Maggie waddled into the church, followed
closely by Connor, James, and Jack. They all sat catching up as if it were an afternoon picnic.
Kelly still felt a little nauseous. She knew she had to watch what she ate later at the wake.
The priest began the mass. He said some stuff in Latin, and Patrick sat next to her
mimicking the priest‟s completely never-changing face. Kelly snickered and Maggie shot him a
warning glance. “Hey, I‟m not one of the children in your child army,” and he let out a laugh that
was a little loud for a funeral. The choir did do a nice job, Kelly thought, and she prayed the
dumb service would conclude faster. She just wanted to see Maria in the dirt.
The priest stood up and asked if anyone had any kind words to say about Maria. Patrick
stood up. Kelly‟s eyes widened. “I do, Father,” Patrick said solemnly. He took a packet of paper
from his pocket and approached the pulpit. Connor, Jack, and James started to snicker. “What is
going on?” Maggie whispered angrily. Kelly realized she was about to witness something
incredible. She leaned back in the pew and watched her brother ascend the pulpit. Maggie put her
face in her hand and hid her head, and Kelly couldn‟t even turn to look at her parents. A couple
McGuire 41
people on the Italian side of the family gasped and pointed and whispered, but Patrick regally
raised a hand to silence them. And he began.
“Brothers and sisters, which is what we are, we are gathered today for a both a
celebration of a life, and the celebration of a death.” Maggie‟s face completely lost color. Kelly
smiled widely. He continued. “We celebrate death when we know our loved ones are heading
straight into the arms of Jesus. Like so straight, it wouldn‟t be seen in San Francisco. That‟s how
straight they are heading to Jesus. Into his open arms, to reward the good people of the Earth
who have made it their mission to make other people‟s lives better – no matter their background,
or race.” Patrick started to chuckle but hid it with an obnoxious nose blowing moment.
“People, like Maria, that have made such a positive impact on the lives of those around
them, will be given the greatest rewards of Heaven. Like endless liquor, and men – she‟ll have a
lot of men to celebrate with, we know she loved her men – and she will not meet Satan. Satan
punishes those who have wronged others, by sticking hot pokers, red hot pokers, over and over
into their bodies, and then healing them just to torture them again. But Maria will not experience
this torture, because her blessed and giving behavior to both her family, and to strangers who
entered her family, will ensure her good graces in Heaven.
“Maria will not experience the burning brimstone of Hell, or Satan‟s personal vengeance
on those who have deliberately turned from God to embrace racism and hatred. No! Maria will
not experience these tortures! Of being skinned alive and fed to dogs! Which is what we know
all racists and evil people are subjected to in Hell. We all know Maria is a pure-white lamb of
God, and that will save her from Hell‟s evils. She is sitting in Jesus‟s arms right now, looking
down on us” – he pointed emphatically at the church ceiling – “watching, and knowing that she
McGuire 42
is safe. Jesus is holding her. I have something a beautiful Irish author said in Gaelic, that I want
to repeat here. „Fear sam bith a loisgeas a mhàs, „s e fhèin a dh‟fheumas suidhe air.‟
“And although we want her with us, and will miss her desperately, she is with Jesus. And
even though her body will be in the cold, hard, wormy ground, feeding Mother Earth, we know
she is with us.” Looking dramatically at the ceiling, Patrick finished by saying, “We will miss
you Grandma Maria, and all of us who have not sinned too terribly will be seeing you again
soon.” Patrick left the pulpit with shaking shoulders and a covered face, and even paused a
moment to leave a hand on the casket. He returned to his seat at the front and sat next to Kelly,
his shaking shoulders slowing a bit. Kelly couldn‟t even look at him because she knew the
moment she did she would start laughing hysterically. She loved her brother so much.
The priest returned to the pulpit and looked at Patrick‟s convulsing frame and said
somberly, “Thank you. That was very touching. And if Maria were in the room with us, I know
she would thank you numerous times for that gorgeous speech.” Patrick didn‟t remove his face
from his handkerchief, and just waved a small hand of thanks at the priest. Maggie was almost
purple with anger. Kelly kept her face turned down at the old marble floor and tried to keep
counting the gray swirls so as not to look at Patrick. When he had “composed” himself, he
looked at the front of the church and sat with rapt attention through the rest of the mass. Maggie
punched him hard in the thigh, but he barely winced.
A few others got up to speak. They said a lot of generic “she was a good person,” and
“we‟ll miss her smile at the senior center.” Kelly tried to relax again. Her brother was right. A
drink might do her some good. Her nerves were shot. She just wanted to see Sean and be back on
the beach. She wanted to be in her husband‟s arms, warm and at home.
McGuire 43
As the mass ended and the processional started, everyone watched the casket exit the
church. Kelly finally mumbled to Patrick, “What‟d you say in Gaelic, Pat?” With a straight face
he replied, “Whoever burns his backside must himself sit upon it. And when I stopped at her
casket, I told her she was a cunt and I hope they didn‟t seal the casket very well, so the worms
could get to her eyes first.”
“Did you have some whiskey today?”
“It‟s in the car.”
“You didn‟t answer my question.”
“Just a couple drops.”
“Gotcha.”
Kelly rode with Pat to the cemetery, and everyone circled around as the casket lowered,
lowered, lowered, and finally stopped. Everyone had been handed a rose to place on the casket.
The priest finished talking, and everyone slowly filed away. Kelly told Patrick she would meet
him back at the car. She waited until everyone else left and started talking to the hole in the
ground.
“You are literally the biggest bitch I have ever met. You know that? And guess what?
The people buried around you here seem to be mostly Irish, a few Polish too. For eternity. Didn‟t
think of that one, didja? I hope when Satan is through with you, you have to sit and watch how
you spent your time on Earth. This short, precious time. You made a lot of my life miserable.
You made my mother‟s life miserable. You made my father‟s life miserable – your own son. I
am through thinking about you. Have fun taking it up the ass from Satan, bitch,” and she spit on
the casket and walked away.
Patrick leaned up against his van when Kelly walked up.
McGuire 44
“How you holdin‟ up?”
“Okay I guess.”
“I think you deserve a reward for not singing „Hallelujah‟ when the casket went down.”
Patrick pulled out a bottle of Jack from behind his seat.
“Have a couple sips and relax. Everything‟s almost over.”
Kelly took a couple gulps and barely winced from the burn.
“I mean, it‟s not cheap, so let‟s not drink the whole bottle or anything.” She laughed. The
warmth hit her stomach, and she felt the heat and relaxed.
“Now, what are we going to do about this attorney?” said Patrick. “The prick left even
before the service ended. That‟s pretty bad. Even I wouldn‟t leave in the middle of a funeral, and
the bitch didn‟t come to my wedding.”
“Does this mean we have to go to the wake still?”
“She was a bitch, but you have to admit, she could cook. Let‟s get a free meal out of her.
You know that‟s all we‟ll ever see.”
McGuire 45
6
Chicken, mostaccioli, spaghetti, bread, peppers – the wake had it all. And tomato sauce
smothered everything. No one really looked at Kelly on the Italian side. She was the black sheep
in their eyes, and they avoided her. If she looked up briefly, they would glance at her and
whisper to each other. Kelly rolled her eyes. She could only imagine what Maria had told them
about her seemingly Irish-based sterility.
She looked at her father. Tony‟s eyes were swollen, and Shannon sat next to him with
pinched lips, clearly uncomfortable sitting next to Maria‟s sister, Rosabella. Rosabella had
mostly gray hair and a large, protruding nose that sometimes interfered with her fork when she
ate. Rosabella didn‟t even look at Shannon; not once. Kelly watched all of it and felt
uncomfortable for her mother. The situation wasn‟t fair. She had had the worst in-laws, and even
after the in-laws died the other family members still lived to make her life hell.
After Kelly finished eating, she nodded to Patrick, and they stood to go. They both kissed
Tony and Shannon, and told them they were going for coffee to relax and catch up.
“Just remember, after your father is done at that attorney‟s office, we‟re having dinner.
Potato cakes and cabbage rolls.” Shannon said it loud enough to make Rosabella wince. And for
added effect, Shannon threw on, “Your father‟s favorite.”
“Okay Mom, we‟ll see you soon.”
After arriving at the office, Patrick waited with the car running.
“You don‟t want me to come in with you?”
“Nah, I‟ll be fine.”
“Fifteen minutes.” He tapped his watch and unlocked the car doors.
McGuire 46
Kelly approached the office, and the front door seemed ready for her. She followed the
hallway to the one light at the end of the hallway. She knocked three times, as if being polite
mattered, and Angelo said, “Come in!”
Champagne and strawberries sat waiting on the desk. The light had been dimmed. The
atmosphere seemed incongruent with the bookcases, scattered paperwork, and huge oak desk in
the middle of the room. Soft music played, and Angelo said, “So you‟re taking me up on my
offer?”
“What offer?”
“Look around you.”
“Okay, I see a fat old man, some roses, and I hear some creepy music. What else do you
want to know? Where is this paperwork? You‟re being unprofessional and ridiculous.”
“Trust me, being unprofessional is the least of my worries right now.”
“And what is on the top of your „worry‟ list right now, sir? Because frankly, you are
wasting my time.”
“Have a seat, and I‟ll get you those, uh, papers, miss,” he hissed. “Right away.”
Kelly sat in front of the desk waiting for Angelo to get the papers. Angelo walked to a
bookcase behind her chair and rifled through some papers.
“Not very organized, are you, Mr. Notibenno?” Kelly asked, reading the nameplate on
the desk. She stared at his computer screen and waited, and then she heard the door click behind
her. Angelo had locked the door and stood in front of it.
“What the hell are you doing?” said Kelly, rising from her chair.
“I told you that you were the prettiest thing I had seen all day, didn‟t I?” Angelo smiled
with half his mouth open and looked at Kelly hungrily.
McGuire 47
“And what exactly do you think you‟re doing?”
“Oh, I would be nice to the man that controls your parents money, darling.”
“Let me out of this office now. Move away from the door!”
“Oh, but we haven‟t really had a chance to get to know each other yet, have we?”
“Just move aside Angelo.”
“Oh, I don‟t think so,” said Angelo, advancing on Kelly and making her trip backwards
into the desk. The champagne glasses fell and shattered to the floor. Kelly had nowhere to go. No
windows and he blocked her only exit by a couple hundred pounds more than she had.
“Now, I tried to be nice. But you failed to notice my generous hospitality. I was going to
offer you a deal. Now I‟m just going to take what I want.” He lunged for her. Kelly kicked him
hard in the stomach and tried to make it for the door. Angelo grunted and laughed. She had just
thrown the deadbolt back when he grabbed her hair.
“Let me go!” she yelled. Angelo dragged her to the floor backwards by her hair.
“I – don‟t – think – so,” he gasped, struggling to pin her down. “That‟s what I like about
you Irish women, always willing to put up a losing fight. And you will stop struggling.” His
voice dropped. “Do you understand me?” Kelly spit in his face.
He kept her pinned with one arm and wiped his face with his free hand. “Now, didn‟t that
mother of yours teach you any manners young lady? We‟ll just have to do that now,” and he
slapped her hard across the face. She placed a hand over the throbbing red on her face, and said,
“Oh, that‟s really manly Angelo, slapping a woman.” She laughed. “Didn‟t your mother teach
you any manners?”
McGuire 48
“Now I tried to be nice,” Angelo growled, “but you have abused my hospitality. So,
here‟s what we‟re going to do, you‟re going to take off those cute little pants, capisce? And
you‟re going to take them off quietly and willingly. Or your parents will never see a dime.”
“Fuck you!” Kelly screamed. “There were witnesses that saw me attend! That‟s their
money! You can‟t do that!”
“Oh, sweetie. I can do whatever I want. You don‟t even live here anymore. Everyone
knows you hated her. You didn‟t even visit her before she died!” Kelly tried to keep struggling.
He had both her wrists and his massive weight prevented her from moving.
“I have witnesses that will say I attended.”
“Oh, they didn‟t tell you about that lovely part in the contract? See, here‟s the deal.” He
leaned in and his cracked, dry lips grazed her ear. “I‟m the only one that can sign off on your
attendance here today! Apparently,” he whispered, “your grandmother didn‟t believe that you
would actually attend. She thought your little Mick family would lie for you. So, I am officially
the third party observer! Isn‟t that wonderful?”
“You can‟t do this.” She struggled against his massive body.
“Oh, but I‟m about to,” he said. Pinning her arms over her head with one hand, half
laying on top of her, he dragged his dirty fingers down her blouse and started to find the opening
between her blouse and pants. He started to breathe harder, and reached his hand up her blouse,
passing her navel and going for her bra. He placed his face within an inch of Kelly‟s.
“We could have had a deal. But now, I‟m just going to touch you everywhere I want.” He
ran his nose in the nape of her neck, “and your parents still won‟t see a dime. And after I‟m done
with you, I‟m going to–”
McGuire 49
At that particular moment, Kelly arched her head back and smashed it forward, meeting
Angelo‟s nose with the front of her skull. He let go of Kelly‟s wrists and rolled off of her,
yelling, “You bitch! What the fuck did you do to my face?”
“What the hell is going on?” said Patrick, opening the door. He looked at his sister
crawling away from Angelo, and Angelo cradling a bleeding face. “What the hell did you do to
my sister?” Patrick raised his fist and slammed it into the side of Angelo‟s face. Kelly watched
her brother. His eyes were bloodshot and he reeked of whiskey.
Her brother raised his fist again and punched Angelo in the face. He grabbed the back of
his greasy hair and slammed his face into the ground.
“You think it‟s okay to treat women like that?”
Angelo just tried to protect his face and whimpered a little when Patrick raised his fist
again.
“I said, do you think it is okay to treat women like that! Answer me!”
“No,” Angelo whimpered.
“Then why did I just see you with you pinning my sister to the floor!” Patrick kicked
Angelo hard in the stomach. “Whoever said that was okay to do to my sister!” he said, punching
him square in the jaw. “I can‟t believe you would even attempt something like this, to my
family.” Patrick paused, evaluating the damage through hazy vision. “Bad decision, fuckbag.”
Patrick aimed squarely at Angelo‟s crotch and gave one last swift kick. Angelo started to moan
and cry.
“Yeah, that‟s what I thought,” he said. Patrick spit on Angelo and turned for the door.
Jack and James came plowing through the door. “What happened? Is everything okay?”
said Jack. Angelo let out a moan in the corner of his office, crawling for a phone. Patrick walked
McGuire 50
over and ripped the phone line out of the wall, muttering “Pathetic, just pathetic,” under his
breath.
“What are you doing here?” Kelly said to her two brothers, trying to get Patrick to move
toward the door.
“Patrick told us to meet him here. He said he might need a driver because he snuck a
bottle of whiskey out of the house. We would have been here earlier but Rosabella started givin‟
mom a hard time. So yeah,” he said, looking at Patrick, “that‟s why we‟re late.”
Angelo rolled to his knees and attempted to stand up. Patrick kicked him hard in the
stomach. He fell to the ground again. Patrick started talking to Angelo again.
“Now listen here, asshole. You will give my parents the money that they deserve, you
understand that? Because if you don‟t, I have three other brothers who wouldn‟t mind helping
me, how should I put this? Oh, that‟s right. Throw you down some stairs.” Jack and James
laughed in the background.
Patrick asked Angelo sweetly, “You will be giving my parents the money, won‟t you?”
Angelo didn‟t respond; he held his stomach and rolled around. “Won‟t you?” Patrick growled,
holding his fist over Angelo‟s face.
Angelo groaned and mumbled, whimpering a feeble, “Uh-uh,” while trying to hold his
face and stomach.
“Because if you don‟t?”
“I, uh, oh Jesus it hurts so bad, uh,” Angelo began.
“Jesus has nothing to do with this asshole!” Patrick rolled Angelo on his back. “I‟d love
to stay, but unfortunately, you have to get yourself and your office here cleaned up before your
McGuire 51
next appointment with the Vanicellos, in, hmm, about twenty-five minutes! Well, chop chop!”
said Patrick, clapping his hands.
Angelo groaned. Patrick said, “Well, nice doing business with you sir. If I had a hat, I‟d
tip it to you. Let‟s go guys.”
Jack and James laughed the entire way down the hallway. “I don‟t even know what he
did,” said James, “but that was hysterical.” After they exited the building, Patrick slapped Jack
and James in the back of the head. “Ow! What was that for?”
“Don‟t be late ever again when I need you like that, understand? And where was Colin?”
Jack and James laughed again. Jack spoke up. “Colin met this chick at the funeral. All I know is
they left the wake early. Like too early.” Jack and James laughed together, remembering Colin
drooling over the gorgeous Italian waitress who served the wake.
“Not funny guys, what if I needed you for back up? I‟m gonna kick Colin‟s ass when we
get home.”
“Oh, just relax drama queen,” said James, “that dude was fat. Like really fat. If you
couldn‟t have taken him out, I would‟ve been embarrassed for you. What did he do anyway? By
the look of his face you kicked the shit out of him. He looked worse than that guy at O‟Reilly‟s
you beat up after the poker game last year.” Patrick helped Kelly into the car.
“Are you okay?” Patrick said.
“Yeah, just a little shook up. I might take that drink now though.”
“So what did he do?” said James, looking suspiciously at his sister.
“Just take the keys and drive,” said Patrick. “I‟ll tell you when we‟re halfway home.”
“No, what did he do?” repeated James.
“Let‟s just say when I found him he had her pinned to the floor.”
McGuire 52
James slammed the brakes. “Oh, I‟ll fucking kill that bastard! Kelly, are you okay? No,
do you need ice or something? Where did he touch you?”
Jack piped in with, “I have my handgun at home.”
Kelly said, “Guys, guys. I‟m fine. I don‟t want any of you going to prison for murder.
She rubbed the part of her head where she had smashed it into his face.
“Jack, when did you get a handgun? And Pat, how much did you have to drink before
you came in?”
“Well, I was getting antsy and I wanted to go. I had a lot to drink. I don‟t think Eva is
going to be too happy. I might just sleep at mom‟s.”
“Pat, your knuckles are bleeding!”
“They‟re fine Kelly, and so are you, which is what matters. I swear though, if that man
screws with the will I‟ll go back there.”
“Why, what‟s in the will?” asked Jack.
“Nothing, I just want to make sure Maria stays legally and definitely dead,” and he
winked at Kelly.
McGuire 53
7
Later that night, everyone sat around drinking and laughing after dinner. Shannon had
made cabbage rolls as promised, and everyone sat around with the contented look a group gets
after a great meal. Kelly sat laughing with her brother in the corner. He kept repeating things he
felt that were particularly funny he had said to Angelo. Kelly had been laughing so hard her eyes
shined. A small silence settled on the group. Tony opened up the conversation again.
“You know the funniest part though?”
“What?” Kelly asked with a grin to her father.
“After that bastard attorney spent all that time at the funeral and eating all of the food at
the wake, he didn‟t even show up at the meeting for the will! What an ignorant asshole. He
claimed he had some family emergency or something, and he sent his paralegal to discuss the
will with us. What an ignorant man.”
Kelly and Patrick shot looks at each other trying not to burst into laughter. Kelly knew
her dad had the check in his room, and he planned on waiting a couple of days until he cashed
the check. She knew he felt a little guilty about the money. But she also knew that if he didn‟t,
Shannon would cash the check. So Kelly had nothing to worry about.
As Kelly looked out the window, a little sunshine braved through the clouds and came
shining into the kitchen. The sunshine fell across her stomach and warmed her inside. She
thought about Jack and knew that God took care of him. She thought about Sean and how he
deserved so much. She would be that person for him from now on. She wouldn‟t make him
wallow in her misery. The sunshine moved and traced her neck to her face with the moving
clouds, and she knew God gave her a small kiss on the cheek when the sun left, but the warmth
McGuire 54
still remained. When she looked around her in the kitchen again, her father sat at the head of the
table giving a toast.
“To my family, and their future health and happiness. May all of my children and their
children know the joy of family, and love what God has chosen to give them or what not to give
them. May they never go hungry, may they never know pain, and may they know the joy of
whiskey and wine!” The entire family yelled, “Amen!” and everyone lifted their various drinks
to their lips and swallowed more than would be expected of a toast.
Maggie, pregnant again, could not partake of the toast, so she helped herself to another
potato cake. She looked at Kelly intently. The conversation resumed loudly after the toast, and
Maggie whispered to her sister, “You okay? You look a little sick.”
“I‟m fine, really. I feel a little nauseous now, and I was a little sick earlier, but I‟m doing
better now. Maybe it‟s all the booze. I haven‟t drank this much, hmm, since the last time I was
home.” She giggled, the whiskey flushing her face.
“Okay, I just wanted to make sure. You looked a little, I don‟t know, just off. Let me
know if you need anything. Anything at all,” said Maggie, and pushing her seat back. Her
enormous stomach prevented her from really sitting close to the table anyway. She stood up to
go.
Tony, drunk on wine and now in the throes of dancing with a couple of his grandchildren,
looked at his daughter and stumbled over to give her a hug. Maggie, laughing at her father‟s
drunkenness, gave him a hug and yelled a loud “Bye!” to the rest of the group. Shortly after, the
rest of the group either stood up to go claim an open couch or head for their cars.
McGuire 55
The only few that remained at the table were Shannon, Patrick, and Kelly. Shannon
looked at her daughter with glassy eyes and said, “You really are too much fun. You ought to
move home; really.” Kelly laughed and said, “One day, mom. One day.”
McGuire 56
8
Arriving in Florida a few days later, Kelly inhaled the salt air and knew she was home.
She told Sean about everything, and Sean wanted to fly back and throw a couple punches an
Angelo himself, but Kelly assured him it was over. They slept with the windows open, and the
light Floridian breeze toyed with the white curtains, tossing them lightly and letting them fall.
Moonlight draped the ocean, and the sound of the waves put Kelly to sleep in her husband‟s
arms.
The next morning, Kelly sat up and stretched, then abruptly clutched her stomach. Kelly
ran to the bathroom and threw up. She wiped her mouth in confusion. After she threw up, she felt
fine. She returned to the bed and sat on the edge looking out at the morning low tide, looking at
the waves.
“Honey?” said Sean, concern and worry on his face. He lifted up on one elbow and
surveyed his wife‟s face. Kelly didn‟t respond. She looked down at her stomach and placed a
hand over it. She looked at Sean and smiled, tears forming in her eyes.