RUNNING HEAD: WOMEN’S EXPERIENCES WITH GUILT
Women’s Multiple Roles & Responsibilities: An Examination of Guilt Across the
Lifespan
Meredith H. Clark
University of Akron
1
Abstract
Past studies have shown that guilt is positively related to femininity (BenettiMcQuoid & Bursik, 2005). Our study is interested in describing dominant themes in
women’s narratives of multiple roles and responsibilities. Specifically, we are interested
in the issue of guilt and how it may relate to the inability to fulfill multiple roles for some
women. Women in America are often expected to take part in both the public and the
private spheres as wageworkers, homeworkers and caregivers; therefore, their roles are
extremely varied and frequently intense and stressful. Thus, the study explores the
relationship between feelings of stress and feminized individuals’ experiences of guilt
across the lifespan. An exploration of the feminization of guilt has not been carried out
before in this way, and a better understanding is critical to understanding the role of
guilt in the lives of feminine individuals. On a cultural level, the part quantitative and
part qualitative study provides a more in-depth understanding of how it is that feminine
American individuals internalize the pressures that society places upon them.
2
Women’s Multiple Roles & Responsibilities: An Examination of Guilt Across the
Lifespan
When considering the construction of modern American womanhood, one could
argue that the so-called “fairer sex” is better off now than ever before. While that is the
case, with all the advancements in regards to what roles and responsibilities are socially
acceptable for women, expectations about what women should do frequently remains at
odds, for they are both oddly archaic and impossibly modern. Women are not only
supposed to pursue advanced degrees and fulltime jobs but they are also expected to run
households and maintain relationships with family and friends, while also embracing
numerous other roles and responsibilities. With all of these expectations, it is clear that
women are bound to develop negative side effects to all of the intense and often
unattainable pressures of modern society. Thus, doing it all can make one come undone.
Susan Bordo, in “Anorexia Nervosa: Psychopathology as the Crystallization of
Culture” (1996) discusses how anorexia, an eating disorder whose victims are ninety
percent female, is a symptom of the manifestations of deep ills within our country. This
means that anorexia is the byproduct of an intense amount of societal pressure that is
inflicted upon women. That pressure includes what was discussed above, the
expectation to do it all. Women are supposed to be high-powered businesswomen,
doting mothers, sexually adventurous lovers, confidant intellectuals, self-sacrificing
volunteers and virtuous wives simultaneously. They are supposed to embrace aspects of
traditional femininity, including being caring, beautiful and appropriately emotional as
well as aspects of traditional masculinity, which includes providing financially, being
independent, and self-aware. Such contradictory expectations result in the roles being
3
virtually impossible to complete, which can cause women to feel like they are not in
control of their own lives. This is one of the ideas that Bordo proposes to explain why it
is that women in contemporary culture have now new disorders, like anorexia, to
contend with. While I agree with this, I also must propose that it is because of modern
society’s increasingly impossible expectations that such things as guilt and shame, which
have been thought to be traditional feelings, are now more relevant than ever before. As
such, feminists must be on the lookout for new societal ills, along with old ones.
While guilt has both a legal and an emotional definition, what is currently being
addressed is the emotional aspect of guilt that deals with one’s feelings as opposed to a
literal state of legal guilt (Hayden, 2006: 406). Guilt is defined as, “an emotion resulting
from the negative evaluation of a specific behavior; a feeling associated with the
perception that one has done something bad,” is extremely complex in that it holds a
variety of meanings (Benetti-McQuoid & Bursik, 2005: 141). According to Ralph W.
Hood, Jr. in “Sin and Guilt in Faith Traditions: Issues for Self-Esteem” (1992) it has
been largely associated with traditional outlooks and religion in particular. The idea of
“Catholic Guilt” is an example of how religious institutions have used guilt to encourage
people to embrace and follow traditional values and ideas. As such, it makes sense that a
traditional emotion would not be thought of as relevant to the current state of feminine
construction, but in reality that is not the case. Instead, guilt is a very important
emotion to consider when examining the various elements that shape women’s
identities in the twenty-first century.
Women are expected to take on so much, to do it all. They are expected to be in
control all the time, of both their bodies and their minds, and when they fail some
4
women can develop physical issues such as anorexia and mental issues such as guilt.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, as of November 2009, more women will be in the
American workforce than men, although they are still not making as much as men for
the same work (Public Radio International). Despite having a much more significant
presence in the workplace, women continue to do over two-thirds of all household work,
averaging about twenty-seven hours of housework per week while men only perform
around sixteen (Shaw & Lee, 2007). What this shows is that not only are more and more
women an active presence in the workforce, but they also continue to do the vast
majority of household work, and all for less money than their male counterparts. It is
easy to imagine that women can encounter difficulties in fulfilling all of the obligations
they are expected to embrace without question, and how in turn, when they inevitably
fail at some point to be the “superwomen” society demands them to be, they may feel
guilt.
I therefore propose that modern society is structured in such a way that it
encourages women to feel guilt. It encourages them to feel guilty about not working
enough, about not spending enough time with their children, about not being thin
enough, and about not having enough organizational skills to make sure that all of those
things that they feel guilty about are taken care of in the first place. I believe society is
set up in such a way as to make guilt about something (anything having to do with
inadequacy within the context of impossible standards) unavoidable for women. I also
propose that the guilt women experience is, by and large, because they did not do
something, did not fulfill an expectation, as opposed to guilt that is felt because of one’s
actions, because something was actively done.
5
It has been determined that shame is socially defined and dependent upon
culture (Lindisfarne, 1998) and also that habitual guilt is more intense in women than in
men (Etxebarria, Ortiz, Conejero & Pascual, 2009). It has also been shown that for
women, issues surrounding conflicts between work and home are largely negative
(Jones & McKenna, 2002). Furthermore, “managing both domestic and professional
responsibilities is a difficult task that places stressful demands” on women (Guendouzi,
2006: 907). Given that information, it is not difficult to make the connection that guilt is
gendered within a certain cultural context, and it is possible that the various roles that
society expects modern women to take on if they wish to be deemed successful are
playing a larger than expected role in how women experience guilt.
While guilt is gendered because of how society constructs femininity and
masculinity and the roles and very identities of men and women, guilt is not by any
means innately connected to womanhood. Instead, guilt is linked to some traditional
cultural notions of femininity. It has been shown that “regardless of gender, individuals
with a feminine gender role reported more guilt-proneness than did those with
masculine, androgynous, or undifferentiated gender roles” in American subjects
(Benetti-McQuoid & Bursik, 2005). Following this logic, individuals who embrace roles
that are less traditionally feminine will also experience less guilt. Research has shown
that people who embrace traditional feminine roles not only experience guilt, but are
also more likely to deal with issues related to depression, lower self-esteem, and poorer
coping skills (Bursik, 1991; Whitley, 1983). When taking that into consideration, one has
a clear idea of what traditional femininity does to the mind and body. This information
6
further supports the case that socially constructed femininity is very stressful and utterly
relevant to the lives of modern women.
Guilt has been described as being both a positive and a negative emotion
depending upon how it is presented. On the optimistic side, guilt has been positively
related to the ability to empathize with others (Tangney, 1991) and emphatic guilt is
thought to be “associated with relationship maintenance, reparations, and apologies”
(Benetti-McQuoid & Bursik, 2005: 140). It has also been proposed that, “moderately
painful feelings of guilt about specific behaviors motivate people to behave in a moral,
caring, socially responsible manner” (Tangney & Dearing, 2002: 2). On the other hand,
guilt has also been defined as “psychic channels for processing stress into selfpunishment” (Lebra, 1983: 192) and severe guilt has been shown to motivate denial,
defensive anger and aggression and does not appear to steer people in constructive or
moral directions (Tangney & Dearing, 2002). Also, the very definition of guilt (page 4)
indicates that it is negative, because it makes people feel bad which potentially lowers
self-esteem and decrease one’s perceived competency (Benetti-McQuoid & Bursik,
2005: 141). Given that, while there may be some positive outcomes that develop from
experiencing feelings of guilt, I have to argue that the potential negative consequences of
the emotion far outweigh its possible benefits.
The idea that guilt is a largely negative emotion becomes especially true when one
sees how the positive outcomes of guilt listed above emphasize concern for others, as
opposed to self-care. It is associated with apologies to others, the maintaining of
relationships with others, care of and for others and empathy for others. The emphasis
is on the “others,” not on the self. While all of those things could be construed as
7
constructive, investing in certain relationships can be dangerous, and just as guilt can
help create understanding in a good relationship, it can encourage blindness and selfdenial in a bad one. This goes directly to the core of what guilt is; an emotion that makes
women consider the needs of others before their own, regardless of circumstance. Guilt
has often been seen as a common emotion in battered women (Street & Arian, 2001)
and in women who have relationships within abusive home and family environments
(Hoglund & Nicholas, 1995).
It is guilt that often motivates women to become caregivers when ideally women
would choose to embrace a caregiving role out of genuine love and caring, or at least
decent salary (Guberman, Maheu & Maille, 1992). Regardless of circumstance, guilt has
been thought to be inevitable for those experiencing motherhood for many women
(Seagram, 2002) and with the basic act of eating for others (Steenhuis, 2009).
Furthermore, women experience guilt when they initiate divorce, even following an
unhealthy relationship (Baum, 2007). It has even been shown that women feel guilt
about being infected with HIV/AIDS because it results in them experiencing the dual
challenge of being both a patient and a caregiver (Hackl, Somlai, Kelly & Kalichman,
1997). While both men and women can feel guilty about such things, women are
significantly more likely to experience guilt because they are more likely to conform to
feminine norms, which have a known association with guilt (Benetti-McQuoid & Bursik,
2005). Such examples illustrate that guilt is not only negative, but can develop at
inappropriate times when self-care should instead be women’s first priorities.
It has been established that guilt should develop in all cultures (Ausubel, 1955).
While that certainly may be the case, I think that the impacts of modern American
8
society are resulting in women experiencing the feeling of guilt in different manners and
even to greater degrees than at other times in history or in other cultures. Despite the
fact that it has been shown that subjects from collectivist cultures respond with more
shame and guilt than subjects from individualistic cultures such as the one claimed by
the United States, I have to argue that that is not the case for all Americans and not for
women in particular (Bierbrauer, 1992). This is because of what was discussed above
regarding the various roles that women are now expected to fulfill, therefore while
historically guilt has been connected to traditional topics such as religion (Hood, 1992)
the emotion has now evolved to include more modern circumstances. These modern
problems could consist of how a woman will be able to make an outstanding
presentation at work, workout, cook dinner, help the kids with their homework and
sexually please her partner (preferable male) while maintaining her feminine
appearance for each performance. When such scenarios present themselves as being
impossible to complete, or even begin, day-after-day, women develop guilt in its most
modern form.
When considering the experiences that modern women have with guilt, one has
to remember that guilt functions on an individual level and therefore must be measured
as such. Guilt is best understood as the intimate and unique emotion that it is and the
examination of guilt should be considered within the lens of Descartes’s philosophical
introspections, which emphasizes an approach that focuses on one’s own self
(Lancaster, 1997). A feminist perspective, which embraces consciousness-raising, is also
essential. In order to do this, qualitative analysis is imperative along with a combination
of self-report and implicit attitude measures regarding individual women’s feelings
9
about what it is that guilt means to them and how it impacts their daily lives within
certain cultural contexts. This will allow women both the independent means to explore
whether or not they experience guilt when tackling their often competing obligations to
a less successful degree than society demands while also exploring their levels of selfawareness regarding the presence or lack of presence of that guilt.
Thus, this study will utilize a qualitative approach (i.e. focus groups) for exploring
women’s multiple roles and responsibilities in order to better understand guilt across
the lifespan. Quantitative approaches will be taken as well in the forms of a survey to
gather demographic information as well as information about women’s daily lives and
roles in relation to guilt and The Conformity to Feminine Norms Inventory-45.
Method
Participants
Participants were 34 self-identified White females, from seven different focus
groups. One participant identified herself as Irish-German and one participant
identified herself as Scottish-Irish. The majority of the participants identified
themselves as heterosexual (F = 31), two participants did not answer, and one
participant described her sexual orientation as “fluid” but indicated that she preferred
men. The age of the participants ranged from 19-86 years old. One participant was 19
years old, 11 participants were in their 20s, 6 participants were in their 30s, 6
participants were in their 50s, 4 participants were in their 60s, 4 participants were in
their 70s, and 2 participants were in their 80s.
10
Participants identified their social class as “working class” (F = 6, 17.6%), “middle
class” (F = 16, 47.1%), or “upper middle class” (F = 12, 35.3%). No participants
identified themselves as “upper class”. Participants identified their relationship status
as either single (F = 11, 32.4%), married (F = 14, 41.2%), unmarried partners (F = 2,
5.9%), divorced (F = 2, 5.9%), widowed (F = 5, 14.7%). Ten participants indicated they
have a child living in their home, and of those ten participants seven indicated that they
are actively caring for a child. Participants were asked to indicate their career status,
with no limit to the number of roles they identify with. Thirteen participants identified
themselves as a homemaker, 9 as a students, 10 as employed part-time, 11 as employed
full-time, 9 as retired, and one as unemployed as illustrated in Table 1 below.
Career Status
Homemaker
Student
Unemployed
Employed Part-Time
Employed Full-Time
Retired
Table 1: Career Status
Frequency
13
9
1
10
11
9
Participants indicated their education level as “high school or equivalent” (F = 4,
11.8%), “vocation/technical school” (F = 5, 14.7%), “some college” (F = 11, 32.4%),
“bachelor’s degree” (F = 7, 20.6%), “master’s degree” (F = 5, 14.7%), “doctoral degree” (F
= 1, 2.9%), “professional degree” (F = 1, 2.9%). Participants indicate that they spend an
average of 18.92 hours working at home (caregiving, cleaning, cooking, etc.), with a
range of 0-100 hours. Additionally, participants indicate that they spend an average of
29.74 hours working outside the home, with a range of 0-65 hours.
Design/Procedure
11
Each participant was provided with a consent form in which the study’s purpose
and procedure was explained. Confidentiality, risks and benefits, incentive as well as the
voluntary nature of the study was emphasized. Each participant was also given a survey
created for this study entitled “Understanding Women’s Experiences”. It contained
demographic questions, asking participants to identify their race/ethnicity, age, gender,
sexual orientation, relationship status, career status, level of schooling completed and
socioeconomic status. It also contained questions that were designed to make evident
the nature of the women’s multiple roles and responsibilities and their relationship to
stress and guilt. Questions included; How many children live in your household? Hours
per week spent working at home? Hours per week spent working in other ways? How
stressed are you on a typical day? Describe the top three roles in your life (How do you
define yourself)? What are the three things that cause you the most stress in your
everyday life? How do you define guilt? How do you feel when you can’t meet desired
goals and/or set responsibilities? How do you think Guilt affect you (ranked on a 1-7
Likert scale with 1 meaning not at all and 7 meaning a great deal)? What mechanisms do
you have for coping with stress? What mechanisms do you have for coping with guilt?
Participants were also asked to list what they had done yesterday, including general time
of day and to rank on a 1-7 Likert scale, with 1 meaning not at all and 7 meaning a great
deal, each activity’s stress and guilt level.
Participants were also provided with The Conformity to Feminine Norms
Inventory-45 (CFNI-45; Parent & Moradi, in press), which is a short form of the
Conformity to Feminine Norms Inventory (CFNI; Mahalik, Morray, Connerty-Femiano,
Ludlow, Slattery, & Smiler, 2005). Items for both measures were answered on a 4-point
12
Likert-type scale, in accordance with Mahalik et al.’s (2003) conceptualization of gender
role conformity, with 1 being SD for “Strongly Disagree”, 2 being D for “Disagree”, 3
being A for “Agree” and SA for “Strongly Agree”. Items reflect Thinness, Domestic,
Invest in Appearance, Modesty, Relational, Involvement with Children, Sexual Fidelity,
Romantic Relationship, ad Sweet and Nice. Examples of questions for Thinness include
“I would be happier if I was thinner” and “I would like to lose a few pounds”; examples
of questions for Domestic include “It is important to keep your living space clean” and “I
enjoy making my living space look nice”; examples of questions for Invest in Appearance
include “I spend more than 30 minutes a day doing my hair and make-up” and “I get
ready in the morning without looking in the mirror very much”; examples of questions
for Modesty include “I tell everyone about my accomplishments” and “I am not afraid to
tell people about my achievements”; examples of questions for Relational include “I
believe that my friendships should be maintained at all costs” and “I don’t go out of my
way to keep in touch with friends”; examples of questions for Involvement with Children
include “I find children annoying” and “I like being around children”; examples of
questions for Sexual Fidelity include “I would feel comfortable having casual sex” and “I
would feel guilty if I had a one-night stand”; examples of questions for Romantic
Relationship include “Being in a romantic relationship is important” and “Having a
romantic relationship is essential in life”; and examples of questions for Sweet and Nice
include “Being nice to others is extremely important” and “I always try to make people
feel special.”
During the discussion portion of the focus group, each participant was asked the
following questions:
1. How do you manage the various responsibilities that you have?
13
2. Do you have enough time/energy in your day to deal with what you have to
accomplish?
3. How do you feel when you cannot fulfill those responsibilities?
a. How do you deal with those feelings?
b. How do you feel about accepting help?
4. How do you feel when you do fulfill those responsibilities?
a. How do you deal with those feelings?
5. Do you believe that you have an unrealistic amount to accomplish?
6. Do you believe that your responsibilities are related to you being female?
The focus groups lasted approximately 35-140 minutes and ranged in size from
three to seven women. The focus groups were conducted at various private homes in
order to insure convenience, comfort and confidentiality. Conducting the focus groups
in the home, a traditionally feminine space, is a feminist research practice used to
minimize the power dynamic between researcher and participant and to encourage a
greater degree of self-reflection (Gilbert, 1994).
In order to assure confidentiality participants were asked to give themselves
pseudonyms. They were instructed to write that pseudonym on a nametag and to refer
to themselves and others by that pseudonym. They were informed that the focus groups
would be recorded. The primary researcher then transcribed the recorded focus groups
in full. The recordings will be erased once all data has been analyzed.
Data Analysis
Qualitative Analysis
14
Only the first two focus groups have been analyzed and the analysis has been
elementary thus far. Five more focus groups still need to be coded and reliability
analyses need to be done. The primary researcher (the first author) coded the first two
focus groups. The data was coded and included as many subthemes as necessary to
include all the data units in the coding. The primary researcher also noted ideas,
questions, comments, and kept a master list while coding the data. The preliminary
analysis was all done by hand, with the use of Microsoft Word.
Quantitative Analysis
Pearson correlations were run on various elements of the quantitative data using
SPSS.
Results
Reported daily stress level was rated on a Likert scale of 1 to 4 with 1 “Not
Stressed at all”, 2 “Somewhat Stressed”, 3 “Moderately Stressed”, and 4 “Incredibly
Stressed”. Daily stress level was found to be significantly and negatively correlated with
age (r = -.422, p = .013). Daily stress level was also found to be significantly and
negatively correlated to class (r = -.384, p = .025) with class being rated on a Likert
scale of 1 to 4 with 1 “Working Class”, 2 “Middle Class”, 3 “Upper Middle Class”, and 4
“Upper Class”. Daily stress level was also significantly and positively correlated with the
reported amount the participant believes guilt affects them (r = .533, p = .002) with
guilt affects being rated on a Likert scale of 1 to 7 with 1 “not at all” through 7 “a great
deal”. The reported amount the participant believes guilt affects them was significantly
and negatively correlated to age (r = -.438, p = .012). The reported amount the
15
participant believes guilt affects them was significantly and negatively correlated to class
(r = -.458, p = .008). The reported amount the participant believes guilt affects them
was significantly and positively correlated to the reported amount of hours the
participant spends working outside the home doing things such as school work,
volunteering, and paid work (r = .508, p = .003); outside of the home was defined as
time spent doing work other than doing housework such as cooking, cleaning,
caregiving, etc.
Age
Class
Hours
Worked
Outside
Home
Daily Felt
Stress
Felt Guilt in
Hours
Worked
Outside
Home
-.666**
-.539**
Daily
Felt
Stress
-.422*
-.384*
Felt
Guilt in
Life
-.438*
-.458**
CFNI
Score
Education
Level
-.259
.373*
-.115
.078
Age
1
.534**
Class
.534**
1
.666**
.539**
1
.230
.508**
.359*
-.422*
-.438*
-.384*
-
.230
.508**
1
.533**
.533**
1
.117
.186
.029
.027
16
Life
Education
Level
.458**
-.259
-.115
.265
.359*
.117
.186
1
-.020
Education level was found to be significantly and positively correlated with
reported hours the participant spends working outside the home (r = .359, p = .040)
with education level rated on a Likert scale of 1 to 8, 1 “Some High School, 2 “High
School or Equivalent”, 3 “Vocation/technical school (2 years)”, 4 “Some College”, 5
“Bachelor’s Degree”, 6 “Master’s Degree”, 7 “Doctoral Degree”, 8 Professional Degree
(MD, JD, etc.). Reported hours spent working outside the home was also significantly
and negatively correlated with age (r = -.666, p = .000) and class (r = -.539, p = .001).
Additionally, participant’s CFNI score was found to be positively and significantly
correlated with age (r = .373, p = .030).
Table 2
**. Correlation is significant at the 0.01 level (2-tailed).
*. Correlation is significant at the 0.05 level (2-tailed).
A regression analysis was run and determined that CFNI scores significantly
predicted participant’s reported guilt (b = .408, t(9) = 2.541, p = .019). CFNI scores also
explained a significant proportion of variance in reported felt guilt, R 2= .623, F(1, 9) =
4.54, p = .002. This supports the hypothesis that feminized individuals experience more
guilt.
The Thinness subscale of the CFNI consisted of 5 items ( = .804), the Domestic
subscale consisted of 5 items ( = .706), the Invest in Appearance subscale consisted of
5 items ( =.720), the Modesty subscale consisted of 5 items ( = .880), the Relational
subscale consisted of 5 items ( = .614), the Involvement with Children subscale
consisted of 5 items ( = .862), the Sexual Fidelity subscale consisted of 5 items ( =
17
.820), the Romantic Relationship subscale consisted of 5 items (
= .769), and the
Sweet and Nice subscale consisted of 5 items ( = .606). The CFNI was found to be
highly reliable (45 items;
= .832).
Participants were asked to list what they perceived as the top three roles in their
life. The results are illustrated in Table 3 below. Participants saw their role in life in
terms of their relationships with others (F = 45, 40%), in terms of a work or student
related role (F = 38, 34%), and in terms of a caregiving role (F = 24, 21%).
Role
Caregiving Related
Role
Work Related Role
Relationship Role
Frequency
Partner
Friend
Family
24
38
19
10
16
%
21%
34%
17%
9%
14%
40%
Table 3: Life Roles
Participants were asked to list what they perceived as the top three stressors in
their life. The results are illustrated in Table 4 below. Participants felt the main
stressors in their life was relationship related stress (F = 29, 31%), work and school
related stress (F = 25, 27%), time and energy related stress (F = 15, 16%), money related
stress (F = 8, 9%), and health related stress (F = 8, 9%).
Stressor
Health Related Stress
Money Related Stress
Time and Energy Related
Stress
Work Related Stress
Relationship Related
Stress
Table 5: Life Stressors
Frequency
8
8
%
9%
9%
15
25
16%
27%
29
31%
18
Participants were asked to write what the methods they utilize for coping with the
stress in their life. The results are illustrated in the table 5 below. Participants reported
coping with stress by exercising (f 13, 16%), talking with a friend of loved one (f 11, 13%),
drinking alcohol (f 8, 10%), meditation and relaxation (f 9, 11%), listening to music (f 7,
8%), self reflection (f 7, 8%), avoidance behavior (f 5, 6%), an increase or decrease in
eating behavior (f 4, 5%), watching television (f 3, 4%), with artwork (f 3, 4%), doing
social activities (f 3, 4%), crying (f 2, 2%), smoking (f 2, 2%), reading (f 2, 2%), sleeping
(f 2, 2%), yelling (f 1, 1%), and seeking comfort with pets (f 1, 1%).
Stress Coping
Mechanisms
Frequency %
Exercise
13 16%
Talking with a friend or
loved one
11 13%
Alcohol
8 10%
Meditation and
Relaxation
9 11%
Listening to music
7 8%
Self-Reflection
7 8%
Avoidance behavior
5 6%
Change in eating
behavior
4 5%
Watch television
3 4%
Art
3 4%
Social Activities
3 4%
Cry
2 2%
Smoke
2 2%
Read
2 2%
Sleep
2 2%
Yell
1
1%
Pets
1
1%
Table 5: Stress Coping Mechanisms
Participants were asked to write what methods they utilize for coping with the
guilt in their life. The results are illustrated in Table 6 below. Participants reported
19
coping with guilt by talking with family and friends (F = 11, 23%), seeking to remedy the
cause of guilt (F = 5, 10%), exercising (F = 4, 8%), overcompensating for the guilt in
another area of their life (F = 3, 6%), trying to change their cognitions about their guilt
(F = 3, 6%), by using avoidance behavior (F = 3, 6%), seeking reassurance from others
(F = 2, 4%), crying (F = 2, 4%), prayer (F = 2, 4%), self reflection (F = 2, 4%), alcohol (F
= 2, 4%), lashing out at others (F = 1, 2%), obsessing about the problem (F = 1, 2%),
smoking (F = 1, 2%), and listening to music (F = 1, 2%). Participants also reported not
having any coping mechanisms at all (F = 5, 10%). Other participants did not report
feeling any guilt. One participant noted, “I don’t feel that… I’m 84 and many things
don’t bother me as they did years ago.”
Guilt Coping Mechanisms
Talking with family and
friends
No coping mechanisms.
Seek to remedy cause of guilt
Exercise
Overcompensating in another
area
Try to change cognitions
about guilt
Avoidance behavior
Seek reassurance from others
Crying
Prayer
Reflection
Alcohol
Lashing out at others
Obsessing
Smoking
Listening to music
Frequency
%
11
23%
5
5
4
3
10%
10%
8%
6%
3
6%
3
2
2
2
2
2
1
1
1
1
6%
4%
4%
4%
4%
4%
2%
2%
2%
2%
Table 6: Guilt Coping Mechanisms
Participants were asked to write how they feel when they cannot meet desired
goals and/or set responsibilities. The results are illustrated in Table 7 below.
20
Participants reported feeling guilty (F = 7, 11%), disappointed (F = 5, 8%), upset (F = 5,
8%), feeling like a failure (F = 5, 8%), angry (F = 4, 7%), stressed (F = 3, 5%), sad (F = 3,
5%), feeling like they are letting either themselves or someone else down (F = 3, 5%),
motivated to do better (F = 2, 3%), not good enough (F = 2, 3%), embarrassed (F = 2,
3%), overwhelmed (F = 2, 3%), anxious (F = 2, 3%), depressed (F = 2, 3%), irritated (F =
2, 3%), worried (F = 2, 3%), “bad” (F = 2, 3%), on edge (F = 2, 3%), stupid (F = 1, 2%),
irresponsible (F = 1, 2%), frustrated (F = 1, 2%), and reported losing sleep (F = 1, 2%).
Additionally one participant reported not having a problem with not meeting her goals,
and another participant remarked, “As I get older it gets easier to realize that nothing is
worth getting in a bunch over. I’ve learned to let go and know that everything usually
works out.”
Feelings with unmet goals
Guilty
Disappointed
Upset
Feel like a failure
Angry
Stressed
Sad
Feel like letting self or someone
else down
Motivated
Not good enough
Embarrassed
Overwhelmed
Anxious
Depressed
Irritated
Worried
Bad
On edge
Stupid
Irresponsible
Frustrated
Frequency %
7
11%
5
8%
5
8%
5
8%
4
7%
3
5%
3
5%
3
5%
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
1
1
1
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
2%
2%
2%
21
Lose Sleep
1
2%
Table 7: Feelings with unmet goals
The analysis of the Conformity to Feminine Norms Inventory (CFNI) indicated
that the participant’s score’s ranged from 97-144, with an outlier score of 97. The mean
score is 126.4 with a standard deviation of 11 (SD=11). The 45-question CFNI potential
scored ranges from 45-180; the higher the score indicates greater conformity to
feminine norms.
The preliminary analysis of the first two focus groups illustrated that the central
primary theme of guilt is overarching and allows for connectivity between the other
themes and subthemes. It is also essential to note that all factors described below are
contingent upon each individual woman’s phase in life and personal experiences. The
first theme is entitled Forms within Language and reflects the various ways that the
participants described guilty feelings using different terms and include the subthemes
Guilt, Try to Manage/Attempt/Do My Best, Feel Bad, Not Good Enough, Obligation and
Should Have. The second theme is Coping Mechanisms and includes the subthemes
Enjoyment/Pleasure, Drinking, Communication (Projection) (Rumination), Mental &
Physical Health (Stay Positive), Age, and No Issues (Organization) (Boundaries
(Accepting Help)). The third theme is Reasons for Guilt and includes Judging Yourself,
Judgment from Others, Experiences and Expectations from Childhood, Doing it All
(Choices) (Control) (Accepting Help) (Men Letting Women Down), Gender Roles &
Stereotypes (Caregiving (Motherhood) (Cleaning) (Marriage/Partnership)) (SelfCongratulatory) (Don’t Acknowledge Accomplishments) Career, School, and Money.
Furthermore, a connection is evident between the two themes Reasons for Guilt and
22
Coping Mechanisms in that guilt can be felt because of the enlistment of coping
mechanisms.
Many of the themes are interconnected with one another. This is a reflection of
the interconnected nature of women’s lives; nothing can be entirely isolated from
anything else. One theme impacts another, as do the subthemes. Thus, various things
that were said in the focus groups can be attributed to different themes and subthemes
at the same time. The themes and subthemes intersect and their interpretation is
subjective. To not be aware of the interconnected nature of the themes and subthemes
would be to deny the complexity of the participants as individuals. For as their
experiences ad reflections overlap and intersect, as should the analysis of their words.
The following subthemes are the preliminary results from the analysis of two
focus groups.
Forms within Language, (F=81, 12.2%) Participants repeatedly expressed guilt in
various ways throughout the focus group. The subthemes were determined because of
the actual language used in the focus groups by the participants; thus they are not
theoretical in nature but are instead linguistically driven. Despite that, there are various
ways to interpret why it is that women do not exclusively say the word guilt to describe
guilt-related feelings. That can include the rather simplistic explanation that people
express similar meanings in a variety of ways and the more complex explanation that to
acknowledge that one feels guilt explicitly, as in saying the term “guilt”, blatantly
acknowledges one’s inability to not do it all and the unacceptability that exists within
society regarding such an omission. Using other terminology to describe feelings of guilt
23
is indicative of potentially wanting to avoid discussion of the existence of a feeling that is
by-and-large negative.
Guilt, (F=22, 3.3%) Participants used the literal term guilt with general consistency to
describe guilt for things they did not do, as opposed to expressing guilt for things they
had done. Guilt was expressed in relation to such things as not being perceived as
caregiving adequately, not being able to do it all adequately and generally not being able
to fulfill their multiple roles and responsibilities. Guilt was also brought up when
discussing a lack of guilt; as in women mentioned that they did not feel guilty in relation
to an array of elements regarding their roles and responsibilities for a variety of reasons.
“I feel guilty, I feel incompetent, I feel frustrated, I feel, umm, I have some negative
feelings toward myself if I cannot fulfill a responsibility.”
“Before if I had accomplishments I wasn’t fulfilling it had to do with somebody else’s
needs, and then the guilt was fantastic because, god forbid, someone wasn’t completely
happy all the time, you know, and I don’t have that anymore so it’s kind of a cool phase
for me.”
Try to Manage/Attempt/Do My Best, (F=9, 1.4%) Participants used this language
synonymously with the term guilt. In all cases participants expressed that they were
trying and/or doing all that they felt they possibly could, but despite that they still were
unhappy with their ability to fulfill their roles and responsibilities. Thus, the presence of
the above phrases within the context of negativity or the expression of disappointment
gave the impression of guilt. Also, when the language was used in a positive way it was
still indicative of a lack of ability to do as well as possible, to do it all, and some amount
24
of disappointment remained attached. This terminology did tend to be more optimistic
than when the term guilt was used.
“I try to do it and if I’m too tired I can’t do anything, it gets to me, so I have been trying
to keep up with them, it’s hard but it does keep me young, your thoughts are young. I
don’t like being around old people all the time…”
“Try to do better next time…”
Feel Bad, (F=4, 0.6%) Participants expressed feeling bad about not being able to fulfill
certain roles and responsibilities. The statements tended to be negative in nature and
indicative of feelings of guilt.
“I feel badly if I can’t fulfill a responsibility that I said I was gonna do because I am
always a person of my word and I don’t like to lie about things and I don’t like to go back
on my word.”
Should Have, (F=6, 0.9%) Participants expressed in various instances that they should
have been able to do something. This indicated that participants felt that they should be
able to fulfill a responsibility and given their inability to do so there existed a certain
amount of shame. That shame was an expression of guilt, and like the direct expression
of guilt, participants often acknowledged the negative nature of feeling that despite
personal constraints or over-obligation, they should still have been capable of fulfilling
their various roles and responsibilities. This type of language also indicated that
regardless of whether or not the fulfillment of expectations or responsibilities was
unrealistic, an expectation of fulfillment existed. Thus the participants “should have”
25
been able to do it, and because they could not there existed guilt. In other instances,
thinking in terms of I “should have” was acknowledged as being counterproductive.
“I should be able to do all this without calling in help, so it is, I think it’s a big leap, at
least for me, to ask for help.”
“I should be doing whatever I can for people who need it.”
“You should, I hate that should work, someone once said to me “quit shouldding all over
yourself” and I thought that was so perfect, cause it’s true, just stop using that word
because really we all, we do everything we do, as much so as we possible can, and
sometimes we fall short.”
Obligation, (F=19, 2.9%) Participants expressed an obligation to fulfill roles and
responsibilities for various reasons and in numerous ways. Obligation can be considered
a type of guilt because obligation, like guilt, tends to be a socially implanted feeling. A
sense of obligation often manifests because of societal expectations. Guilt often
manifests because of the inability to fulfill those obligations. As such, guilt and
obligation are often intimately connected states of being. Obligation was expressed in a
variety of ways, but a sense of feeling obliged to do a certain thing for a particular reason
was always evident without any sense of actively choosing said obligation.
“It’s like having a husband again, you know always having to have a dinner, and
everything.”
“You have to get up, you have to got to work in the morning, you have to do your job.”
26
“And I don’t think at the time you really question the responsibilities, I think you just
do it.”
“You can’t not do it.”
Not Good Enough, (F=21, 3.2%) Participants often discussed themselves as not being
good enough because of their inability to fulfill particular roles and responsibilities. This
is related to guilt because feeling guilt indicates feeling inadequate, and therefore not
good enough. While participants frequently described themselves as capable of fulfilling
certain things, doing everything that was required and/or expected did not occur; they
were thus not good enough.
“The problem is maybe I get two or three things done but I don’t get the four or five.”
“I think I expect too much of myself, I think I can do it but I can’t and I’m getting a little
resigned to it now.”
Coping Mechanisms, (F=253, 38.2%) Participants expressed various coping
mechanisms that they have for dealing with their multiple roles and responsibilities,
especially in regards to their inability to fulfill those multiple roles and responsibilities,
which is directly related to guilt. Thus, while participants were not asked to explicitly
explain the various coping mechanisms that they have with guilt, they were asked to
explain how they feel when they are able and unable to fulfill their responsibilities and
how they deal with those feelings. Without being directly prompted to do so,
participants reflected on various ways that they have for coping with their feelings and
thus some of what was shared was positive and some was negative. The connection to
guilt can be made implicitly and explicitly depending upon the particular statement.
27
Enjoyment/Pleasure, (F=19, 2.9%) Participants explained that in order to cope with
one’s various roles and responsibilities a sense of enjoyment and pleasure should be
sought. This was a positive outlook and involved actively engaging in activities that
brought pleasure and enjoyment, often for personal reasons and in spite of one’s
responsibilities. Participants also expressed this subtheme in such a way as to indicate
that a sense of enjoyment and pleasure should/is derived from one’s actual
responsibilities, as opposed to existed in spite of them. Enjoyment and pleasure was
found in doing things for themselves and doing things for others.
“I manage volunteering for the hospital once a week and I have done that for 10
years…and I have to be there early, I should have gotten an earlier shift, but I have been
there a long time and I do like doing it.”
“There’s still so much to learn and I mean fun things and education things. Fun things
like I wanna learn how to play the drums…”
Drinking, (F=2, 0.3%) Participants expressed engaging in drinking as a coping
mechanism. While the act of drinking was presented in a humorous manner it was clear
that turning to alcohol was a coping mechanism for dealing with the ability and inability
to fulfill roles and responsibilities. This could be perceived as potentially positive and
negative. If drinking is turned to in a social environmental and engaged in
responsibility, it could be positive. If engaged in excessively and in an unhealthy way
such a coping mechanism could certainly be negative. If engaging in drinking to directly
suppress feelings of guilt, it would certainly be negative.
“Wine is needed!”
28
Communication, (F=14, 2.1%) (F=8, 1.2%) The participants discussed communicating
with someone (typically a friend, spouse or partner or other loved one but also a
counselor) when dealing with one’s roles and responsibilities and the guilt that can
arise. Communicating is positive in this regard. The desire to communicate as a
therapeutic device includes the act of expressing guilt verbally and nonverbally to those
in one’s life, in person, over the phone or through the use of the Internet, including
Facebook.
“I don’t remember feeling lonely because I have such good friends, because my sisters
and daughters, the older ones are like sisters, so we have a lot of, you know people to
laugh and cry and yeah, you know I think that’s what gets you through.”
“It always helps me to communicate with my husband, talk about my feelings with my
friends.”
“I do the exact same thing. If I see a post from one of my daughters I realize that they’re
not too busy that they can’t go on Facebook (laughter), I feel okay bugging them.”
Projection, (F=5, 0.8%) Participants expressed that projection, a coping
mechanism that is a negative form of communication, was something they engaged in.
Projection involves extending negative feelings, often of inadequacy that can directly
relate to guilt for not being able to fulfill a role or responsibility, onto others. The
participants explained that at times they project their internalized feelings of guilt, as
well as their feelings of stress, onto those who often exist within their immediate
environments. Participants also expressed that after projecting their feelings onto those
around them, often their loved ones, that they felt more guilt. Thus, engaging in
29
projection could result in an increase in feelings of guilt. Participants also acknowledged
that they were aware that engaging in projection was negative.
“I feel myself just being short, so I almost have to back up and think, like Penny said,
and think about why I’m feeling the way I am and whose fault it is that I can’t get things
done because I think you project on your husband or your kids when you are upset with
yourself.”
“I project bad things onto other people.”
Rumination, (F=1, 0.2%) Rumination, meaning the engagement in excessive and
potentially obsessive pondering in the form of internal communication and external
communication was discussed. This is negative because it involves engaging in
unproductive thought patterns.
“I think I deal with shortcomings by probably feeling kind of badly and by feeling guilty
and being sorry and replaying it in my head about 18,000 different ways and you know,
which is never effective, but always a pattern.”
Health (Mental & Physical), (F=43, 6.5%) (F=22, 3.3%) Participants expressed health as
a positive and negative coping mechanism. Engaging in healthy activities (working out,
eating well, reflecting positively etc.) was presented as a way to help overcome feelings
of guilt and inadequacy and as a way to avoid them all together. Being healthy mentally
and physically was expressed in such a way as to indicate that at times it was the
exception, or even an impossibility, given the various other multiple roles and
responsibilities that the participants had to engage in. Also, a lack of mental and/or
physical health was discussed as an impediment for being able to engage in the
30
participant’s roles and responsibilities. The lack of mental and physical health was also
addressed negatively as an embodied consequence of feelings of stress, guilt and
inadequacy. The act of engaging in healthy behavior also elicited guilt in some women
because it redirected their caregiving responsibilities from others onto themselves.
“I try to allow enough time and my energy depletes around 4 o’clock ad I try to take a
nap if I can.”
“But, sometimes you have to deal with it if you’re not up to it physically and you have to
tell people it just isn’t part of the course, I couldn’t do it.”
“I used to get up at 5 to play tennis, which was stupid but (laughter) so I now play tennis
a little later and I go for my Pilates.”
“Sometimes, it’s you know hormonal, and sometimes it’s a physical thing and sometimes
it’s just you know you kind of fall short of what you expect and maybe it’s because you
expect too much from yourself.”
“The way that I deal with those feelings I guess is to try to reflect upon them and try to
understand my feelings and why I’m feeling that way and try to uhh figure out a plan of
action to make myself feel better or what to do next time.”
Stay Positive, (F=21, 3.2%) Staying positive is a coping mechanism that is
directly related to mental health. Participants often described engaging in a way of
thinking that consciously resulted in focusing on the positive aspects of one’s ability to
fulfill or not fulfill one’s roles and responsibilities. Staying positive was also presented as
a way of avoiding feelings of guilt altogether and of having the ability to not ruminate
31
internally on a particular inability to fulfill a role or responsibility, allowing the
participants to move on.
“I always look to see what is ahead, not what is behind.”
“There are a couple things I haven’t been able to fulfill the way I wanted but it’s just like
a fleeting thing like “oh crap” and then I go on to the next thing…I don’t dwell on it.”
“Think positive.”
“If I don’t fulfill a responsibility I really can go through what I’ve done for that day or
whatever it is and say look at everything I did do, and if I didn’t get to this one thing it’s
either going to have to wait till tomorrow or we will accomplish it another time.”
Age, (F=66, 10.0%) The participants expressed age (which means literal age as well as
life phase) as a type of coping mechanism in that with age and experience comes a new
understanding of the self and of social expectations. Age was presented as a positive
because it was indicated that as age increased, guilt and stress decreased. Something
that would have upset the participants when they were younger and resulted in guilt,
because of age and life experience, would no longer cause them to feel negatively about
themselves or their abilities to fulfill or to not fulfill their roles and responsibilities. Also,
the various circumstances that occur because of a participant’s particular life stage
(retired v. employed, children grown v. young children, establishing independence v.
actively engaging in the caring for others, etc.) could result in either an increased or a
decreased feeling of inadequacy at being able to fulfill roles and responsibilities and
guilt. While age was largely presented as a positive the physical aging process was
discussed as negative by some of the participants.
32
“Since my kids are gone, I have one at home but, you know I don’t have any problems.”
“It’s disturbing to me but I know that’s how it is, I’m old.”
“I am retired and I find that the responsibilities that I have now are so much less than
they used to be when I worked that it’s not really a challenge for me.”
“I think given the fact that I’m now in my mid to late 50’s, my life is, I’m making it my
life.”
No Issues, (F=83, 12.5%) (F=18, 2.7%) Certain participants at times said that they had
no issues dealing with their multiple roles and responsibilities and also that issues with
guilt did not exist. This was for a variety of reasons and it is considered a coping
mechanism because of some of those reasons; participants indicate that they do not
have issues because they engaged in certain types of behavior. Certain indications that
no issues existed were followed by reflections indicating that was not the case. At other
instances, those who insisted that no issues existed were those who were least willing to
communicate openly and reflectively. It was indicated that certain coping mechanisms
did successfully result in at least the minimizing of guilt and feelings of inadequacy that
may result when roles and responsibilities are not fulfilled.
“I really don’t have a problem with ummm managing responsibilities.”
“If I have something to do I do it, no problem.”
“I don’t think that I have ever had too many responsibilities even when I was working
with kids. I have a great husband and ummm, 2 kids, and we always shared
33
responsibility and it made a huge difference I think. So I never felt really overwhelmed
with the responsibilities of a family.”
Boundaries, (F=65, 9.8%) (F=29, 4.4%) The participants also discussed
establishing boundaries and priorities as a may of dealing with their various roles and
responsibilities. This is comprised of taking positive steps to either limit the number of
roles and responsibilities one has or engaging in boundary-establishing behaviors once
the various roles and responsibilities are in place and actively being engaged in.
Establishing boundaries and prioritizing involves recognizing that attempting to take on
as all that is expected or even desired is often unrealistic. Participants discussed
establishing boundaries because they recognized that as individual everything could not
be done simultaneously and as a result taking a more realistic and at time limited
approach was preferable. Participants also discussed the establishing of boundaries and
priorities as the acknowledgment and acceptance that doing everything that was desired
was simply not possible. Thus a shifting of thought processing from believing that the
inability to fulfill all roles and responsibilities is worthy of feelings of guilt and
inadequacy to believing that the inability to fulfill all roles and responsibilities is
inevitable and not worth becoming upset over is included in the establishing of
boundaries and priorities; it involves the establishing of internal emotional boundaries
that are often positive. Acknowledging one’s limitations is also a part of the
establishment of boundaries and priorities. This involves self-acceptance and is devoid
of negativity.
“I just say I’m too old to do these things so that’s the end of that and then I try
something else that I feel is more suitable to my age.”
34
“I try not to make it worse by agreeing to do things that I really can’t do.”
“See when I moved into a condo I gave all that away. My daughter got the Christmas
dishes, the crystal, all that stuff cause I knew I would never have parties for twenty at my
condo.”
“I do all that I can do and that’s, that’s it.”
“You become more selective about the adventures and experiences you can choose, but
it is a conscious change in the way you regard your life that’s left.”
Accepting Help, (F=36, 5.4%) Participants discussed accepting help as a coping
mechanism when dealing with their multiple roles and responsibilities and as something
that could potentially assist in not having any issues. Accepting help was also discussed
within the context of establishing boundaries and priorities; as in accepting help was a
type of boundary and the ability to accept or not to accept help existed within a personal
framework established on the foundation of those roles and responsibilities that are and
are not priorities. The ability to accept help was also presented as something that was
learned through experience as a privilege, as in having people there to help is a type of
privilege. The inability to accept help was also discussed as an impediment to not having
issues.
“I have done quite well, because I have a big family and I have a lot of friends nearby.”
“I can’t bother you, that’s another thing, I hate to bother anybody.”
“I can call somebody if something goes wrong.”
35
“I think a lot of women tend to be like that in their own homes, am I right? I mean, this
is our palace, it’s our, what defines us so we want it to be just so, but I think it’s
wonderful you have learned to let people help for heaven’s sake.”
“I don’t have any trouble hiring somebody to come in and do the things I don’t do well
or I don’t want to try to do myself, umm, but I do think that, and there’s sort of help with
housework and things like that, but there are other kinds of help, that people may offer
or you may need help and I find myself as I get older, even if I don’t want it or need it,
I’m saying okay anyway because when people offer help it’s like you need to accept their
offer.”
Organization, (F=26, 3.9%) Participants discussed that a coping mechanism they
have for dealing with their multiple roles and responsibilities was to be organized. This
organization could potentially result in the participants not having any issues with those
multiple roles and responsibilities. The importance of organization was continually
mentioned.
“No, I really don’t think so anymore [have an unrealistic amount to accomplish]. I mean,
the mechanism with having lists and crossing things off and the woo-hoo is a big part of
how I keep myself organized and get things done.”
“I have to be organized. I have a kitchen the size of a quarter. (laughter) I was not used
to that when I moved to a condo, so when I use something I put it in the dishwasher or
put it away, I am more organized.”
36
Reasons for Guilt, (F=328, 49.6%) The participants expressed a variety of reasons for
why they could not manage their various roles and responsibilities and for the guilt that
arose because of that inability.
Judging Yourself, (F=7, 1.1%) Participants indicated that guilt was felt because they
judged themselves and their lack of ability to handle their multiple roles and
responsibilities. Judging themselves and their so-called inadequacies resulted in guilt
and other negative feelings that promoted the idea that they were in fact not good
enough. At times the comments were self-deprecating and sarcastic in nature and it was
still evident that the participants were judging themselves when they said them.
“I’m constantly comparing myself to what I did fifteen years ago I can’t even compete
with that.”
“I can’t seem to do more than one major thing a day, where before I prided myself on
being able to multi-task very well.”
“It’s like, what is the matter with me?”
Judgment from Others, (F=14, 2.1%) In the controlled setting of the focus group it was
evident from certain comments that participants were judging one another, which is a
reflection of the judgments the participants receive from those around them in their
everyday lives that could result in guilt. The statements said by people in judgment of
others are negative and can create feelings of guilt in others where no guilt previously
existed.
“Because you watch her children… that’s why she can have it.”
37
“Yeah, but you let them do it so that’s where you create your own havoc.”
“There is no reason you shouldn’t remember to write yourself a list of what you’re doing
today”
Experiences & Expectations of Childhood, (F=17, 2.6%) Participants expressed that they
felt guilt or did not feel guilt about being unable to fulfill responsibilities due to how they
were raised and the various experiences and expectations that they encountered as
children. It was explained that depending upon how one is raised situates how one deals
with multiple roles and responsibilities and can result in one being capable or incapable
as an adult. Those experiences and expectations can also result in how one processes
guilt and perceived inadequacies.
“The Marine Corp. dad, the Edith Bunker mom who was kind of scurrying around trying
to fulfill this jackass really, all his demands were just so rude and not kind.”
“I kind of had a privileged childhood and I guess I would say, so I never really paid
attention to things really until I got married and then it was like, you know, you are
organized (laughter), you have this, you have your responsibilities to do, I think it’s fun
to have responsibilities.”
“I do think it has something to do with the messages we are receiving from our mothers
though. My mother, I had a wonderful mother, and although she was very hardworking,
I don’t want you to think otherwise, but she would say to my sister and me, you have a
choice of whether to dust or not, you can sit down and read a book, or you can dust
(laughter), and you’re going to be having to dust next week again, and really, if you dust
every single day people will expect that, so always think you have a choice.”
38
Doing it All, (F=35, 5.3%) Participants expressed that doing it all, as in embracing
multiple roles and responsibilities, often unrealistically, resulted in guilt when
participants realized that doing it all in the way that society expects is not always
possible. Feeling that they were inadequate because they were not able to do it all was
what resulted in guilt. Doing it all means embracing multiple roles and responsibilities
simultaneously. It was only occasionally that participants commented that doing it all
was possible for them, although doing it all was often discussed as not only ideal but
possible for others, for women who were better than they were. Doing it all, as a
mentality, can be thought of as negative and having the potential to result in guilt. It was
also expressed in various ways that doing it all is expected from women and not
necessarily from men. The expectation that they should be able to do it all was present
in the participants.
“I think women have more responsibilities anyway, men may have more intense
responsibilities like being responsible for everybody in the house and so forth, but I feel
I have, my responsibility area is widening.”
“There is also a sense of pride, isn’t there, when you can do it all yourself?”
“My husband died three years ago and my organizational skills for the last three years
have been horrible, I think juggling doing, you know, still having two kids in college and
grandkids to help with and ummm, I have found that I did a lot of the stuff, I did the
yard work, I did that kind of stuff, I just mentally I am, my organizational skills have
been really bad lately.”
39
“That’s very hard for me, I would really prefer to do everything myself and it really feels
like an affront to me when, for example, my husband who is a great person and a very
helpful person, sometimes when he offers help my first thought it, you think I can’t do it
myself (laughter), I can do it myself, umm, so it is hard for me to accept help, I kind of
have to process that.”
“Especially for women because we are juggling so much, work, home parenting, blah,
blah and the brunt of it…”
Choices, (F=5, 0.8%) Participants expressed at certain points that the reason they
attempted to do it all was not because they had to but because they made the choice to
attempt to. This did not indicate that the expectation to do it all was not present in
society but that the participants were capable of recognizing that doing it all was not
actually necessary. Given that the choice was made however, makes evident the pressure
from society and the need to be more aware of the choices one makes. The participants
expressed that they feel guilt because they make the choice to do it all, to take on too
much.
“I think there are unrealistic accomplishments that I choose, where as before if I had
accomplishments I wasn’t fulfilling it had to do with somebody else’s needs, and then
the guilt was fantastic because, god forbid, someone wasn’t completely happy all the
time, you know, and I don’t have that anymore so it’s kind of a cool phase for me.”
“I don’t know how much the responsibilities are related to me being a female as much as
they are related to me choosing to become a wife and a mother at twenty-two, twentythree, because it sort of sets you on a course to be nurturing and take care of other
40
people and put off your career and some of those other things that men may not
necessary have to do.”
Control, (F=5, 0.8%) Participants described feeling that it was their desire to
control everything that resulted in them being incapable of doing it all which results in
feeling of inadequacy and guilt. It was presented as though the participants, if they could
simply relinquish control, would be able to do all that they would like to or should do.
“…Maybe it was a control issue, now that I’ve said that word, ummm, maybe it was just a
control issue that I never wanted to accept anyone’s offer of help because I wanted to be
in control of everything…”
“It’s good that you can do that. I have actually been called the kitchen Nazi.”
Accepting Help, (F=36, 5.4%) The idea that because the participants cannot
accept help that they will not be able to do it all and will in turn feel guilt was also
presented. The importance of accepting help was discussed, although it was
acknowledged that to do so could be very difficult.
“After being a single mom for ten years with my oldest daughters, when I got married
again and had two children the biggest lesson I gave my older daughters who were
married was, don’t criticize your husband, the father, whatever they do is better than
them not helping you at all, especially with the kids and stuff. It’s like, they are never
going to do it the same way that you would do it, but that’s their way.”
Men Letting Women Down, (F=4, 0.6%) Participants expressed that they were
not able to do it all because at one point in their lives men had let them down. A
41
discussion that it is because men have let women down that has led to women having to
attempt to do it all in the first place. In other instances participants expressed that it was
because men had let them down that they were forced to express their agency and have
been better at doing it all. It was presented as both a positive and as a negative
depending upon how it was conceptualized by the individual.
“If I was ever going to be President of the United States, in my speech I would get up
and say I would first like to thank all the men who let me down (laughter) cause I
wouldn’t be here without that!”
“Seriously, it makes you the woman that you are today, you know, and some of us have
put up with, my first husband was physically abusive and you know, it makes you who
you are today.”
Gender Roles & Stereotypes, (F=184, 27.8%) (F=85, 12.8%) It was evident from the
focus groups with the participants that a reason that many of them experienced feelings
of guilt was because of their gender. Furthermore, the very roles and responsibilities
that they were often expected to embrace were founded on that gender. Their
experiences with guilt were directly shaped because they were women. It was evident
that many of the women’s daily lives and perceptions of what was normal and/or
acceptable were shaped by traditional gender roles. As such, some participants
expressed that depending on whether or not a role or responsibility was traditionally
masculine or feminine resulted in whether or not the participant felt guilt when and if
she could not fulfill it. If a role or responsibility was traditionally masculine, it was clear
that guilt was less likely, but if a role or responsibility that was traditionally feminine
was not fulfilled guilt was more likely to be felt by the participant.
42
“I remember the first thing I had to do after Marsh died, I had to change the light bulb
in the garage; I never had to do that before. And when the lights went out I had to find
the flashlight, I never had to do that before.”
“Early on I was happy to embrace what I think of as the feminine role, you know, taking
care of the house and having kinds and frankly, when I look at my SAT questionnaire
when I was 18, the questions were what do you want to be when you grow up and I
actually wrote I want to be a mother and a secretary. I thought, wow, I fulfilled both of
those things (laughter)! But I did not have lofty goals for myself.”
“I was thinking about women living alone maintaining a house, that is a major
responsibility.”
“So, yeah, I do feel that for me, for whatever reason I have considered my role very
female, and its been reinforced by everything around me at some level.”
“My son is like having a husband because he does all the manly, manly things and I shop
and all that, get meals.”
“In my life there was kind of a role reversal because I had the big income job and more
hours at work, umm my husband does a lot of the cooking and cleaning and that’s so
wonderful, and now that I’m retired we maintain the balance of doing those things.”
“I married this guy and he does, well he does, I don’t want to work on cars, he does the
cars, I want to put the keys in the ignition and I want it to turn on and I want it to go.”
Caregiving, (F=130, 19.6%) (F=33, 5.0%) The traditionally female role of
caregiver was brought up a lot; both in terms of how it infringes itself both in women’s
43
roles and as a responsibility and how when caregiving in the way that is desired is not
possible that guilt inevitably follows. Caregiving exists within many contexts for the
participants and seems to occur regardless of what stage of life each woman was in.
“In caregiving I will feel guilty, well, just let me give you an example of my guilt, my
husband does had three handicap nephews that we do take care of, they are elderly, deaf
and retarded. If I go away for a holiday they end up either going to a church for diner or
they stay home and do nothing, which makes me feel so guilty that I am not there to
provide this dinner once or twice a year so that they can have a little bit of family and a
nice dinner and that. That’s my guilt.”
“And I don’t know if it’s a guilty thing or if in your heart, your heart breaks because
you’re thinking of people you could be doing things for.”
“I think you expanded yourself when you took care of your ill husband. I mean that was
total total caregiving, total total sacrifice, total total better or for worse, I mean that’s the
ultimate.”
“When my dad was sick I had him move in with us and it took me I don’t know how
long, I think I was ready to collapse.”
Motherhood, (F=24, 3.6%) Participants discussed motherhood as being an
almost all-encompassing responsibility that shaped who they were and how they felt
about themselves. Thus, when motherhood was not pursued to the upmost degree, guilt
followed. Perfect motherhood, as a social construct was also discussed. When perfect
motherhood was acknowledged as impossible guilt was still expressed as well. Seeking
out traditional motherhood and honoring it as the most important role and
44
responsibility a woman can have was seen with some consistency throughout the focus
groups.
“I also think that the feminine side of me, of course I’m very interested in what my kids
are doing and my grandchildren and trying to make sure it’s okay and trying to fix or, or
talk to them if I feel they are frustrated or unhappy, I think that’s a mom, or a female
thing.”
“Again, when the kids were little you know, how could you possibly get it all done? And,
when the kids were little I had this idea of what Christmas was supposed to be and I was
insane! I was absolutely nuts.”
“In all the jobs that I’ve ever had and in getting pregnant at eighteen, being a mom, and
being a mother is my greatest accomplishment and I felt my biggest responsibility.”
“I have had some health problems and they haven’t been good but I’ve survived, and I
feel there is a reason I’ve survived, maybe to help my children or my grandchildren, I
don’t know what it is but there’s a reason I’ve survived.”
Cleaning, (F=13, 2.0%) Participants discussed the traditional female
responsibility of cleaning as being related to guilt because to not have a clean house, to
not fulfill that feminine responsibility, brought about feelings of guilt. To relinquish this
responsibility is very difficult for the participants because it is so deeply ingrained in
their perceptions of themselves as women.
“I like planning the meal, I like knowing about keeping the house straight and neat, I
like knowing that I’m going to the store to do this and this, and, end of lesson.”
45
“Even cleaning my home, when we had our business, it took me quite some time to hire
somebody to come in, and for quite sometime I would clean before she came because I
didn’t want her to see that we had made a mess.”
Marriage/Partnership, (F=23, 3.5%) Participants discussed that the
responsibilities expected within traditional marriage that can lead to guilt. Marriage was
also portrayed as a significant female responsibility that involves caregiving, and that to
not seek out or adequately embrace the role of wife was worthy of guilt in and of itself
“From the time we took on being married and raising a family and doing all that stuff,
wooha, you have to have some sense of organization or you’d go crazy!”
“You still have a husband to do things for, we don’t have that; we are alone.”
“I think I would worry about those things if I didn’t have a husband too, about, about
what she said about the taxes and everything that’s about the house, that was really, I
never had to do those things, I’m very well taken care of.”
“I have a great husband and ummm, two kids, and we always shared responsibility and
it made a huge difference I think. So I never felt really overwhelmed with the
responsibilities of a family.”
Self-Congratulatory, (F=3, 0.5%) Participant’s were self-congratulatory and
rejected feelings of guilt and inadequacy in certain circumstances.
“It’s a satisfying feeling to accomplish something, especially if it’s something that’s
required a lot of planning and something more than just the usual daily function.”
46
“It’s like taking one foot one step in front of the other, so just taking the steps was a
woo-hoo.”
Don’t Acknowledge Accomplishment, (F=3, 0.5%) When participants did not
acknowledge accomplishments that is considered a reason for guilt because to
acknowledge that accomplish would be to acknowledge success and bring attention to
oneself and one’s roles and responsibilities.
“I feel that it’s time to just move on to the next thing. I don’t think I allow myself a lot of
time to be self-congratulatory or rejoice in it I just move on to the next thing.”
“I don’t celebrate the fact that I got something done.”
Career (F=12, 1.8%) Career was presented as causing guilt because it took attention
away from other responsibilities. Careers were also presented as being a positive way to
break away from traditional responsibilities.
“From a very early age I was in science but it was secretarial science, and I was a great
typist and the woman who was in charge of giving you any advice at all in high school,
she was really charged up on me being a secretary, she thought that was awesome,
although there isn’t a doubt in my mind I should have been one of the attorneys in the
law firm that I was working for.”
“I am retired and I find that the responsibilities that I have now are so much less than
they used to be when I worked that it’s not really a challenge for me.”
“I have to say now that I have my own business and I’ve been in this mode for about
seven years I’ve never been happier in my life. And I think that says something about
47
being in your own mode, and having something that’s just your own, that you believe in
and that makes you really happy.”
School, (F=1, 0.2%) School was presented as a reason for guilt because it took attention
away from more traditional responsibilities.
“I had done my master’s degree work when he was in elementary/middle school so we
used to sit around the table and do our homework together.”
Money, (F=8, 1.2%) Participants discussed money in relation to guilt and roles and
responsibilities in two ways. A lack of money was presented as a negative and a way to
feel guilty about not being about to fulfill all the roles and responsibilities that are
perceived to be necessary or desired. Money was also discussed as a privilege that
allowed for the relinquishing of roles and responsibilities. This too could result in guilt;
guilt for being privileged enough that you could pay someone to take care of roles that
had traditionally been your own.
“He knows electricity, he knows plumbing, he knows it all, which is awesome, cause I
don’t want to learn it, I have no interest in that. Frankly, if he didn’t exist I would be
hiring, it would be yellow pages for me.”
“I feel guilty that I’m not up there more and uhh, I wish I had enough money to have
them come more often so I wouldn’t have to travel.”
48
49
Discussion
Questioning the role of guilt and conducting research on guilt and the
experiences of the modern woman is incredibly important. As a modern American
woman myself, I know what it is like to have a million different expectations thrown at
me every day. Those expectations are more often contradictory and they take conscious
effort to retaliate against. Even if one does consciously make the effort to not allow such
unrealistic expectations to impact them, it is often impossible to not internalize at least
some of the expectations. Despite the fact that I consider myself to be a radical feminist,
I am often struck with feelings of guilt when I do not fulfill certain expectations about
who I am supposed to be. Other women close to me, such as my mother and girlfriends,
often express feelings of guilt that they have regarding things that are, in the big scheme
of things, inconsequential, but because they fall within expectations about who women
should be, they feel guilt when they do not fulfill them. This indicates to me that guilt is
an issue that plagues modern women, and it is the responsibility of feminists to explore
it more in-depth in order to ultimately better understand how such feelings can be
halted. If that can occur, instead of women focusing on all that they do not do, they
could focus on what it is that they have done and will do because they want to, and not
because they are supposed to do them. If that can occur, the modern woman will have
truly evolved, and guilt will dissipate.
There are several interesting implications from the correlations in the above
result section. It is interesting that as the amount of hours spent doing things other
than housework and caregiving increases, age and class decreases. This may be due in
part to participants no longer being employed in their older years and therefore, not
50
spending a significant amount of time outside of home engaged in employment
obligations. Additionally, individuals from a lower socioeconomic status or class, by
necessity, are going to be engaged in either employment or education in order to gain
future employment. It is also interesting to note that guilt increases with additional
obligations outside of the home, which may illuminate a potential cause behind why
women experience guilt; women may experience guilt when their attention is taken
away from their caregiving and housekeeping responsibilities, which society dictates to
be very important. This was only further emphasized with the results of the regression
analysis that demonstrated the higher the participant’s score was on the CFNI, the more
guilt they experienced; thus, those women internalizing the expectations society has
placed on them are the women who are experiencing more guilt.
The implications of this study are extensive. As researchers we have to look past
the captivating information provided above, and truly understand how it is impacting
women in our society. Demands that are many times impossible to fulfill, result in
potentially dangerous mental states for the women involved. In order to improve the
quality of life for women in our society, we must not only seek to better understand this
phenomenon, but also focus on how we can help women cope with and move past this
“superwoman” mentality that is devastating the self-concept of women; this negative
view of self can result in depression, anxiety, stress, and negative behavior such as using
drugs and alcohol (Lee-Flynn et al., 2011; Richard et al., 2010). The negative
consequences of having such unrealistic expectations necessitate the ability to rectify
this injustice to women to prevent further mental and physical damage.
51
The qualitative portion of the study corresponded with the qualitative portion of
the study. It was evident in both sections that women experience guilt largely for things
they either have not done as opposed to feeling guilt for things they have done. It was
also clear that women often define their roles in terms of their relationships with other
people. Various themes and subthemes that appeared in the qualitative analysis could
also be seen in the quantitative data. These points should be examined in further
research in order to better understand how they are related to guilt. Furthermore, given
that these various elements overlap it is evident that they are potentially more
significant in nature.
Limitations
While this study had an excellent range in the age of participants, it lacked
diversity in the race and sexual orientation of the participants. All of the participants
were White female heterosexuals which limits the scope of the findings presented in this
article. Additionally, while the correlations above were significant, they are not
necessarily indicative of results that may occur when the full extent of the domain was
measured rather than asking a one-dimensional demographic question.
The qualitative nature of this study could also be perceived as a limitation
because of the lack of experience the main researcher has with this method of research.
Furthermore, the qualitative portion of the research is very subjective which is beneficial
because it is reflective of the personal and unique nature of each individual woman and
her experiences and the feminist orientation that was applied throughout the research
process. However, it is difficult to assert reliability given the qualitative nature of the
research.
52
Future Research
The remaining five focus groups must be coded and analyzed as the first two
focus groups were. Themes and subthemes must be identified and organized. This will
result in a much more complex understanding of women’s experiences with guilt in the
context of their multiple roles and responsibilities. Reliability measures must put in
place once all focus groups have been coded. Coding the focus groups using a computer
program would also assist in increasing reliability and perhaps offer a different
perspective. Establishing more technologically advanced theme graphs would also assist
in one’s ability to visualize the interconnected and intersecting nature of women’s
experiences with guilt across the lifespan and could therefore greatly assist in the
expression of the results of the study.
It would be worthwhile to investigate some of the potential causes of guilt in
further detail. It would be interesting to determine if attention away from housekeeping
and caregiving roles results in increased levels of guilt. In order to better understand the
gendered nature of guilt it would also be interesting to conduct focus groups of men
across the lifespan using the same procedure (same demographic survey and
questionnaire, Conformity to Feminine Norms Inventory and focus group questions).
Comparing the results would offer a more evolved perspective on the gendered nature of
guilt as well as roles and responsibilities. It would be essential to establish focus groups
that contain men across the lifespan, men of a wide range of ages, in order to make
better comparisons.
In order to better understand the role that American culture plays in
perpetuating the importance of traditional gender roles and responsibilities and the very
53
concept of doing it all it would be ideal to duplicate the work on women’s experiences
with guilt that have taken place outside of the United States. Dr. Itziar Etxebarria of
Spain studied the differences between men and women and their experiences with
habitual guilt and created an inventory in order to better understand those differences.
While the inventory is currently in Spanish, we are in contact with Dr. Etxebarria and
the goal is to have the inventory translated to English and given to all of this study’s
current participants in order to compare their results with the results Dr. Etxebarria has
collected from Spanish participants. While this intention is still in its most elementary
phase, there is hope that if the inventory can be translated and given to American
participants that a better understanding of the role that culture plays in gendered guilt
will be evident.
54
References
Ausubel, D. P. (1955). Relationships between shame and guilt in the socialization
process. Psychological Review, 62(5), 378-390.
Baum, N. (2007). “Separation guilt” in women who initiate divorce. Clinical Social
Work, 35, 47-55.
Benetti-McQuoid, J. & Bursik, K. (2005). Individual differences in experiences of
responses to guilt and shame: Examining the lenses of gender and gender roles.
Sex Roles, 53, 133-142.
Bierbrauer, G. (1992). Reactions to violation of normative standards: A cross-cultural
analysis of same and guilt. International Journal of Psychology, 27(2), 181-193.
Bordo, S. (1996). Anorexia nervosa: Psychopathology as the crystallization of culture. In
Ann Garry & Marilyn Pearsall (eds.), Women, knowledge, and reality:
Explorations in feminist philosophy, 2nd ed. (388-418). New York City:
Routledge.
Bursik, K. (1991). Correlates of adjustment during the separation and divorce process.
Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, 14, 137-162.
Etxebarria, I., Ortiz, M. J., Conejero, S., & Pascual, A. (2009). Intensity and habitual
guilt in men and women: Differences in interpersonal sensitivity and the
tendency towards anxious-aggressive guilt. The Spanish Journal of Psychology,
12(2), 540-556.
55
Gilbert, M. R. (1994). The politics of location: Doing feminist research at “home”. The
Professional Geographer, 46 (1), 90-96.
Gremillion, H. (2003). Feeding anorexia: Gender and power at a treatment center.
Durham & London: Duke University Press.
Guberman, N., Maheu, P. & Maille, C. (1992). Women as family caregivers: why do they
care? The Gerontologist, 32(5), 607-617.
Hackl, K. L., Somlai, A. M., Kelly, J. A. & Kalichman, S. C. (1997). Women living with
HIV/AIDS: The dual challenge of being a patient and caregiver. Health & Social
Work, 22.
Hayden, R. M. (2006). Collective guilt: International perspectives. American
Anthropologist, 108(2), 406-407.
Hoglund, C. C. & Nicholas, K. B. (1995). Shame, guilt, and anger in college students
exposure to abusive family environments. Journal of family Violence, 10(2), 141157.
Hood, R. W. Jr. (1992). Sin and guilt in faith traditions: Issues for self-esteem. In John
F. Schumaker (ed.), Religion and mental health (110-121). Oxford: Oxford
University Press.
Jones, W. M. & McKenna, J. (2002). Women and work-home conflict: A dual paradigm
approach. Health Education, 102(5), 249-259.
Lancaster, R.N. (1997). Gusto’s performance: Notes on the transvestism of everyday life.
In Roger N. Lancaster & Micaela di Leonardo (eds.), The gender sexuality
56
reader: Culture, history, political economy (559-574). New York & London:
Routledge.
Lebra, T. S. (1983). Shame and guilt: A psychocultural view of the Japanese self. Ethos,
11(3), 192-209.
Lee-Flynn, S. C., Pomaki, G., DeLongis, A., Biesanz, J. C., , & Puterman, E. (2011). Daily
Cognitive Appraisals, Daily Affect, and Long-Term Depressive Symptoms: The
Role of Self-Esteem and Self-Concept Clarity in the Stress Process. Personality
and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37(2).
Lindisfarne, N. (1998). Gender, shame, and culture: An anthropological perspective. In
Paul Gilbert & Bernice Andrews (eds.), Shame: Interpersonal behavior,
psychopathology, and culture (246-260). Oxford: Oxford University Press.
Livingston, B. A. & Judge, T. A. (2008). Emotional responses to work-family conflict: An
examination of gender role orientation among working men and women. Journal
of Applied Psychology, 93(1), 207-216.
Mahalik, J. R., E. B., Ludlow, L. H. Coonerty-Femiano, A., Ludlow, L. H., Slattery, S. M.,
& Smiler, A. (2005). Development of the Conformity to Feminine Norms
Inventory. Sex Roles, 53, 417-435.
Parent, M. C. & Moradi, B. (in press). Conformity factor analysis of the Conformity to
Feminine Norms Inventory and development of the CFNI-45. Psychology of
Women Quarterly.
57
PRI: Public Radio International. “More women working than men.” (9/25/09).
Retrieved May 2, 2010 from http://www.pri.org/business/economicsecurity/more-women-working-then-men1634.html.
Richard, A., Trevino, R., Baker, M., & Valdez, J. (2010). Negative reflected appraisal,
negative self-perception, and drug use intentions in a sample of suburban high
school students. Journal of Child & Adolescent Substance Abuse, 19(3), 193-209.
Seagram, S. (2002). “It goes with the territory”: The meaning and experience of
maternal guilt for mothers of preadolescent children. Women & Therapy, 25(1),
61-87.
Shaw, S. M. & Lee, J. (Eds.). (2007). Women’s voices, feminist visions: Classic and
contemporary readings, 3rd ed. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Steenhuis, I. (2009). Guilty or not? Feelings of guilt about food among college women.
Appetite, 52(2), 531-534.
Street, A. E. & Arias, I. (2001). Psychological abuse and posttraumatic stress disorder in
battered women: Examining the roles of shame and guilt. Violence & Victims,
16(1), 65-78.
Tangney, J. P. (1991). Moral affect: The good, the bad, and the ugly. Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, 61, 598-607.
Tangney, J. P. & Dearing, R. L. (2002). Shame and guilt. New York: The Gilford Press.
Whitley, B. (1983). Sex role orientation and self-esteem: A critical meta-analytic review.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 44, 765-778.
58
Appendix A: Consent to Participate in Research Form
The Modern Woman’s Experiences with Multiple
Roles & Responsibilities
Meredith Clark, Undergraduate Honors Student
Dr. Carolyn Behrman, Associate Professor
Department of Anthropology
Before agreeing to participate in this research study, it is important that you read the following
explanation. This statement describes the purpose, procedures, benefits, risks, discomforts, and
precautions of our study.
Introduction
My name is Meredith Clark, I am an undergraduate student at the University of Akron. I am doing this
research project looking into how women cope with the multiple roles and responsibilities they take on
and the potential risks and rewards for the Anthropology Honors Program. I am going to give you
information and invite you to participate in this research today. Please ask me to stop as we go through
this information if you have any questions and I would be happy to take the time to explain. If you have
questions later, you can feel free to ask myself or the other researcher Ruth Walker at any time.
Purpose
We hypothesize that the intense demands placed on women can make them feel out of control;
therefore, women experience guilt because failure is inevitable when so much is expected of them. Our
study is interested in determining if women experience guilt in part because they are incapable of
fulfilling multiple roles.
Procedures
We are inviting you to take part in this research project. If you accept, you will be asked to fill out a
demographic questionnaire, a survey, and take part in a group discussion with 5-6 people from similar
backgrounds for approximately 90 minutes. This discussion will be guided by Meredith Clark and Ruth
Walker. We will ask you questions about the roles and responsibilities you currently have, any guilt you
have and how you cope with it, and give you time to share your experiences.
The discussion will take place in closed room and no one else but the other people taking part in the
discussion and the moderators will be present during the session. The entire discussion will be taperecorded, but no one will be identified on the tape. The information recorded is confidential, and only
Meredith Clark, Ruth Walker, and Carolyn Behrman will have access to the tapes. The tapes will be
transcribed and after which they will be destroyed.
Voluntary Participation
59
Your participation in this research is completely voluntary. It is your choice whether you participate or
not. You may decide to leave the focus group at any time and you can choose not to answer any
question without penalty.
Risks/Benefits
There is a risk that you may share some personal information, or that you may feel uncomfortable
talking about some of the topics. You do not have to answer any question or take part in the discussion
if you feel the question(s) are too personal or if talking about them makes you uncomfortable. There will
be no direct benefit to you, but your participation will give us more information on how women feel and
cope with guilt and lay the groundwork for more research on this subject.
Incentives
You will receive food during the focus group and the chance to win a $25 gift card for participating in
this research.
Confidentiality
We will not be sharing information about you to anyone outside of the research team. The information
that we collect from this research project will be kept private. We cannot guarantee that the other
participants in the focus group will keep the information you shared confidential. Your name will only
be kept for purposes of distributing extra credit only. All documents other than the consent form will
not be connected with your name. We encourage you to make up a name to use in the discussion. All
information will only be available to Meredith Clark, Ruth Walker, and Carolyn Behrman.
Who to Contact
If you have any questions, you can ask them now or later. If you wish to ask questions later, you may
contact any of the following:
Meredith Clark
Carolyn Behrman
[email protected]
[email protected]
*To be added in following approval: This proposal has been reviewed and approved by the University of
Akron Institutional Review Board. If you wish to find about more about the IRB, contact 330-972-7666.
Statement of Consent:
Your signature below indicates that you have read and understood the information provided above,
have had an opportunity to ask questions, are over 18 years of age, and agree to participate in this
research study.
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
Researcher’s Signature
Participant’s Signature
60
Appendix B: Demographic Questionnaire
Understanding Women’s Experiences
Demographic Questionnaire (Please print)
1. Your gender: __________
2. Your age: _____________
3. Your race/ethnicity: ___________________________
4. Sexual Orientation: _____________________________
5. Relationship Status (circle one):
Single
Married
Unmarried Partners
Divorced
Widowed
6. What class would you associate yourself with?
Working Class
Middle Class
Upper Middle Class
Upper Class
7. How many children live in your household? _______
8. How many of those children do you care for? _______
9. Career Status (circle all that apply):
Homemaker
Student
61
Unemployed
Employed Part-Time
Employed Full-Time
Retired
10. Hours per week spent working at home (caregiving, cleaning, cooking, etc).
______________________________________
11. Hours per week spent working in other ways (school work, paid work).
_____________________________
12. Highest level of schooling completed (circle one):
Some High School
High school or equivalent
Vocation/technical school (2 year)
Some college
Bechelor’s Degree
Master’s Degree
Doctoral Degree
Professional degree (MD, JD, etc.)
13. Describe the top three roles in your life. (How do you define yourself?)
1.
2.
3.
62
14. How stressed are you on a typical day (circle one)?
Not Stressed At All
Somewhat Stressed
Moderately Stressed
Incredibly Stressed
15. What are the three things that cause you the most stress in your everyday life?
a.
b.
c.
16. How would you define guilt?
17. How do you feel what you can’t meet desired goals and and/or set responsibilities?
18. How do you think guilt affects you?
1----------2----------3----------4----------5----------6----------7
(not at all)
(a great deal)
19. What mechanisms do you have for coping with stress?
63
20. What mechanisms do you have for coping with guilt?
21. List what you did yesterday. Include general time of day and rate each task/activity according to
stress and guilt level. (Continue on back if necessary)
Stress Level: 1-----2-----3-----4-----5-----6-----7
(not at all)
(a great deal)
Guilt Level: 1-----2-----3-----4-----5-----6-----7
(not at all)
Activity/Task
(a great deal)
Time of Day
Stress Level
64