Table of Contents
Honors Project Proposal……………………………………………………………………………………………………2
Impact of Therapeutic Relationships…………………………………………………………………………………8
Drum Circle Plan, Rationale, and Alterations……………………………………………………………………..18
Drum Circle Evaluation
Week 1…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………23
Week 2…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………26
Week 3…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………28
Week 4…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………30
Week 5…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………33
Reflection Entries
Week 2…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………35
Week 3…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………45
Week 5…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………55
1
Honors Research Project Proposal
Rebecca Beers
My Honors Project will represent a conglomeration of my studies and interests, specifically
utilizing my child life knowledge and musical skills. I will work in conjunction with The Gathering Place, a
center for those who have been touched by cancer. Specifically, I will be working with the Children’s
Program Director and the other staff involved in their animal camp which is for children who have or
have had a family member with cancer. The camp consists of five separate weeks throughout the
summer, and I will volunteer during three of the five weeks. At the beginning of each of those three
weeks, a child will be identified for me to specifically establish a relationship with, and I will be
challenged to think about and to implement what might make the camp experience most helpful for
that child. I will also lead an afternoon program, facilitating a drum circle, during each of the five weeks
which will incorporate my musical background. Through my interactions with The Gathering Place, I will
learn more about the child life profession and about how the skills I am currently learning can be applied
beyond the hospital setting. I will also develop a program that will embody the essence of the purpose
of camp – to help children cope with and manage their experience of being touched by cancer and to
help create an environment which provides children with the opportunity to express their emotions.
There will be several aspects to this project. First, I will complete a literature review which will
address the psychosocial issues of children who have a loved one with cancer, theories that speak to the
development of children and how different ages are affected by this serious diagnosis, and methods for
establishing therapeutic and meaningful relationships. I will also find current literature on therapeutic
camps and address how they can positively impact children. Furthermore, I will research the benefits of
music, taking a specific look at the psychosocial aspects of drumming, as I create the drum circle
program that I will be facilitating at camp. To supplement my knowledge, I will seek out drumming
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professionals to help teach me some technique, and I will research how to best and most effectively
facilitate a drum circle.
Additionally, there will be a reflective component to this project. Each day I interact with
children at the animal camp, I will journal about my experiences. I will record notable events and
conversations of the day as well as reflect on how those experiences affected me, self-evaluate to see
what I did well and what areas I need to improve, and predict how I will be able to use what I have
learned in my future career as a child life specialist. I will document the interactions I have had with my
assigned child, citing specific behavior or comments that will help me make an assessment. I will then
use that information to form ideas and strategies that will help make the camp experience most
beneficial for the child, and upon implementation, I will evaluate the outcomes. I anticipate running my
ideas by the child life specialists and gaining their feedback on both the concepts as well as the
execution of my plans. I will also journal specifically about the individual sessions of facilitating the
drum circle. I will record how the program went, basing my qualitative data on the children’s
attentiveness, willingness to participate, enjoyment of the experience as evidenced by facial expression
and body language, and on the other adults’ perceptions. I will also evaluate myself, thinking about how
comfortable I felt leading, what I thought I did well and what I would change for the next time.
Another element of the drum circle component of this project will be a comparative study. I will
look at the differences and similarities between facilitating the drum circle when I have an already
established relationship with the children and when I have no previous experience with them. For the
three weeks that I will be volunteering for the entire week, the children will already know who I am, but
for the other two weeks, their only interaction with me will be for the drum program. Based on
responsiveness and the other factors previously mentioned – attentiveness, cooperation, and body
language – I will seek to explore how having an established relationship with a child can affect his or her
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openness and the effectiveness of the drum circle. I think that the drum circle will be an activity the
children will enjoy regardless of the week. The weeks I have more extensive interactions with them,
however, I hypothesize that they will engage more deeply and more fully express themselves,
consequently gaining more benefit from the therapeutic aspects of the drumming.
As a student and as a human being, this will be a learning experience for me, and thus, many of
the limitations of this project will be centered around my inexperience. I have extensive musical
background, but limited experience with drums and drum circles, so the effectiveness of the program
could be hindered by my lack of experience in this area. The qualitative aspect of the project might also
make it difficult to draw conclusions or to generalize what I have learned. The children I will be working
with have had some very difficult life experiences already, and each child will be affected by and will
respond differently as a result. I will need to be as attentive to each child’s state as I can and try to lead
the program in such a way that every child benefits, which might prove to be quite the challenge.
I anticipate that this project will provide invaluable experiences that will help shape me into the
effective and intuitive child life specialist that I hope to become. I will learn about organizing activities
for groups as there will be ample opportunities for unplanned and pre-planned group activities. By
leading the drum circle, I will specifically learn about how to facilitate a group, paying attention to the
dynamics. This will help me in the eventuality that I need to plan or lead group activities such as to
connect kids in a hospital unit or to form a support group. I also expect to learn more about how
children at different developmental levels respond to stress, the direct and indirect aspects of a serious
or terminal illness, and any other issues that may arise as a result of facing cancer in the family. I hope
this will make me more sensitive and in tune with the children and families that I will be working with in
my future career. I expect that I will use this opportunity to further develop my own knowledge of child
development and to think through how best to interact with children and their individual needs. I
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intend to have an open mind as I make discoveries and as I communicate with both the children and the
child life specialists. I know that intentionally contemplating and creating a plan for a specific child will
challenge me to truly think like a child life specialist and will therefore prepare me for my future career.
Also, as I reflect on my feelings and thoughts from each day, I expect that I will become more aware of
how different scenarios affect me. Hopefully, I will be able to incorporate all that I learn into the person
as well as the child life professional that I am seeking to become.
In addition to my own personal growth, this project will hopefully also have an impact on
everyone else involved in the camp. The children are central to this project, and I hope that my
participation in the regular camp activities will be beneficial for them. As a volunteer, I will be
dedicating my time to building supportive relationships with the children. I hope the kids feel that camp
is a safe place to express their feelings, and maybe the interactions the volunteers have with the
children will spur on those discussions. I can be a playmate, a listening ear, a trusted friend, and a
person to walk through the week with them. The Gathering Place does a phenomenal job of creating a
camp program that is beneficial for the children, and devoting my time to helping is a worthwhile
pursuit.
Besides the benefits for the individual children that participate in each animal camp week, this
project has the potential to make a lasting contribution to the programming at The Gathering Place.
This is the first year that the camp has included a drum circle program. Depending on its success, this
program could be carried over to programs during the rest of the year or be incorporated in future
animal camp weeks. Perhaps I will be able to offer suggestions based on what worked well for me and
what did not. Another possibility is that this basic experience with a drum circle will encourage further
exploration into the practicality and potential of creating a permanent drum circle program. In this way,
the drum circle at animal camp could be very helpful, because not only could it be used when I am
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facilitating it this summer, but hopefully its uses could be extended. As follows, the creation of the
drum circle for camp could result in not only affecting the fifty children who attend, but it could also
lead to a positive impact on many more people.
In a more universal context, this project could also serve to provide some insight into the nature
of a child life specialist’s relationship with a child and family. Since part of my project involves
considering the difference in response and effectiveness when there is an established relationship and
when I have no previous experience with the particular group of children, it will be interesting to see the
results. In some ways, a child life specialist’s effectiveness is partially dependent upon her ability to
establish rapport quickly so that the child and family can listen to and trust her. However, much can be
said for the quality of the relationship that develops over time as the child life specialist supports the
child and family. While this drum circle will not by any means reach any conclusion decisively, partly
because it is not necessarily an accurate representation of a child life specialist’s role and partly because
I am not yet a child life specialist, the different experiences might provide relevant information or even
stimulate further research into the subject.
This project will be compiled into a binder with titled tabs as well as a table of contents making
it easy to find the various components. There will be an introduction to the project, a literary review,
my original plan for leading the drum circle as well as any changes I might make throughout the course
of the summer. I will also include the rationale behind the plans; for example, I might write that I chose
to make the sound of a rainstorm to help create an experience that is elevated above the immediate
aspect of hitting a drum and to garner the children’s desire to participate. There will be five entries, one
for each day I facilitate the drum circle, that will address the perceived success level as well as my ideas
about what I would do again and what I would do differently to improve the program for the next time.
For the weeks that I volunteer every day in addition to running the drum program, there will be a
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journal entry in which I will reflect upon the day. These could include specific conversations or
interactions, how the children were affected by the camp experience, how I was affected by the camp
experience and by the children, and any meaningful lessons that I learned either by observation or by
communication with the child life specialists. I hope that this will become a useful resource for me and
for any child life students that come through the program after me. I would be very willing to present
my project at an OCHC meeting so that other child life students could learn from my experiences with
the camp and with The Gathering Place. I know this project will be instrumental in my development as a
child life specialist, and I look forward to sharing that with other students and professionals.
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Running Head: Therapeutic Relationship Effectiveness
Children Touched by Cancer: The Impact of Therapeutic Relationships on Therapeutic Activity
Effectiveness
Rebecca Beers
University of Akron
April, 2011
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Cancer is an undiscriminating disease. It touches young and old, mothers and fathers, strangers
and loved ones. Everyone is impacted to some degree by this disease because most people know
someone who has or who has had cancer. When a close friend or spouse has cancer, the impact is often
very great and can result in a difficult time. However, when an adult has cancer, there is one population
that is particularly and uniquely affected by the disease – the adult’s children. Since about one in ten
men and women develop cancer before the age of sixty, and since adults are delaying having children,
the number of children who are impacted by parental cancer is substantial (Kornreich, Mannheim, and
Axelrod, 2008; Werner-Lin & Biank, 2009). Children often do not have the same coping skills in place
that adults have, and they often feel confused due to their limited ability to cognitively comprehend
cancer and what is happening (Farber & Sabatino, 2007; Zahlis, 2001). Thus, programming aimed at
addressing the unique psychosocial needs of this population is much needed.
Child life specialists have the skill set to work with this population and can help to create an
environment to help them manage their experience, enabling the children to express their emotions.
One of the means by which this happens is engaging in therapeutic activities with the children. At The
Gathering Place, a non-profit organization in Cleveland which serves those who are touched by cancer,
this has led to the creation of a summer animal camp program for children whose parent or grandparent
have cancer. Each week, the participants are paired up with an animal to care for during the mornings.
The afternoon sessions of camp incorporate therapeutic activities into the curriculum. In the past,
walking the labyrinth, going to the park, swimming, and medical art activities have been utilized. During
the summer of 2010, I created a drum circle program, as well, to give the children not only a fun
experience but also an outlet for their feelings. The purpose of these activities is to provide an
opportunity for children to express themselves and to work through some of the issues they may be
encountering as they deal with a loved one’s cancer.
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Review of the Literature
There is much research that points out the impact of parental cancer on the child and family and
the benefits of programming to address those needs. The presence of cancer changes most aspects of
life – from parenting to children’s activities and routines to the potential feelings of instability (Faulkner
& Davey, 2002; Kornreich, Mannheim, & Axelrod, 2008). This can result in children having issues with
school, emotional states, and negative behavioral changes (Farber & Sabatino, 2007; Faulkner & Davey,
2002; Kennedy & Lloyd-Williams, 2009; Kornreich, Mannheim, & Axelrod, 2008; Watson et al., 2006;
Werner-Lin & Biank, 2009). Programming which seeks to meet the needs of children and families
touched by cancer is therefore very needed and could be quite influential (Zahlis, 2001). Niemela,
Hakko, and Rasanen (2010) found that children and parents reported that group experiences have been
positive and have helped children feel better about being able to manage their parent’s cancer. There
are many programs across the country that offer services for those affected by cancer, including support
groups for children where they can express emotions, access support, and develop coping skills
(Werner-Lin & Biank, 2009).
One programming option that has seemed to be effective for children is the use of therapeutic
camps. Research has shown that camp has a positive impact on children’s lives and can help their
emotional health and social abilities (Farber & Sabatino, 2007; Mishna, Michalski, & Cummings, 2001).
The goals of such camps are often to help children express their grief in developmentally appropriate
ways, to address potential misconceptions, and to provide activities (Farber & Sabatino). Since play
activities are important for having fun and for development, these should be considered along with
specific therapeutic activities (Farber & Sabatino, 2007; Mischna, Michalski, & Cummings, 2001). Farber
& Sabatino (2007) related Bandura’s social learning theory to camping, pointing out that the social
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context of camp and group work can be beneficial for modeling and learning experiences for children,
impacting the effectiveness of camping programs (Mischna, Michalski, & Cummings, 2001).
Since camps can have such a positive impact on children when they are experiencing grief or
when they are coping with a parent’s cancer, it is important to be intentional in the programming of the
camp activities. One activity that could serve as both a fun and a therapeutic activity is a drum program.
Many hospitals across the country have music therapy programs. Music therapy has been found useful
in these settings to help with coping during the hospital experiences (Barrera, Rykov, & Doyle, 2002).
The live music interaction helped children express emotions, so this is a concept that could carry over to
a camp activity (Barrera, Rykov, & Doyle, 2002). Drumming, specifically, has been used in camp
programs (Farber & Sabatino, 2007), as well as in music therapy interventions (McDonnell, 1983). These
programs can give children a chance for physical release and an opportunity to express difficult
emotions and to be in control when everything else seems out of their control (McDonnell, 1983).
However, providing children with a camp experience and therapeutic activities is only part of
the equation. Another integral component is the relationship the children have with the adults who are
leading these activities. Child life specialists form therapeutic relationships with children and families so
that they can better support the families as individually needed. A therapeutic relationship can be
instrumental in helping a child and family cope with their experiences (Stickley & Freshwater, 2006). It
can be built through compassion and empathy, through active listening that seeks to truly understand
the client, and through personable characteristics (Norfolk, Birdi, & Walsh, 2007; Stickley & Freshwater,
2006). Research indicates that therapeutic relationships are related to patient outcome regardless of
various variables (Shirk & Karver, 2003). In some ways, a child life specialist’s effectiveness is partially
dependent upon her ability to establish rapport quickly so that the child and family can listen to and
trust her in the immediate context of the situation. However, much can be said for the quality of the
11
relationship that develops over time as the child life specialist supports the child and family through
longer term interventions.
Hypothesis
Present research addresses the importance of therapeutic camps and activities in relation to
helping children cope in difficult circumstances, such as when a parent has cancer. Literature also has
explored the formation and the benefits of therapeutic relationships. The purpose of this current
project was to examine the benefits of therapeutic activities and how the quality of the adult
relationships impacted the effectiveness of the program. Specifically, this project compares the
effectiveness of the drum program when the facilitator had established therapeutic relationships with
the children to the effectiveness of the program when the facilitator was an unfamiliar adult. It was
hypothesized that the drum program would be an enjoyable experience for the children regardless of
whether or not I had an established relationship with them. It was further hypothesized that the
children would engage more deeply and more fully express themselves, consequently gaining more
benefit from the therapeutic aspects of the drumming, during the weeks in which I had more extensive
interactions with them and thus a more in-depth therapeutic relationship.
Method
There were five one-week sessions of animal camp at The Gathering Place. Every week, I
facilitated the drum program I developed on Thursday afternoon. I was involved in the whole animal
camp program for three of the five one-week sessions, developing individual and intentional
relationships with the children by playing with them and by being a listening ear. Thus, by the afternoon
of the drum program, the children and I had established meaningful relationships. For the other two
weeks, I facilitated the drum circle program without spending any additional time with the children.
During these two weeks, I was an outsider, meeting the children for the first time when I introduced the
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drum circle activity. This provided the framework by which I was able to compare how the quality of my
relationship with the children affected the effectiveness of the drum program.
Findings
Because of the qualitative nature of the hypotheses, it is hard to give a definitive conclusion to
the experiences. The drum program was a fun experience for the children every week. They seemed to
really enjoy playing the drums, an activity which was novel yet very accessible for them. The
programming was such so that the activity would be pleasurable in its nature and would also provide the
opportunity for more in-depth engagement. When the children were asked to drum their emotions or
to drum how being touched by cancer felt, they were able to become very introspective and express
themselves. During the two weeks in which I was the facilitator of the program, the children had varied
responses to this opportunity. Some of them seemed to just have fun the entire time, but some of them
did say that they liked being able to express their emotions on the drum rather than in words. However,
when compared to the three weeks during which I formed relationships with the children, these
responses were fairly superficial. When I did have more in-depth relationships, it seemed like the
children really opened themselves up to their emotions and allowed themselves the chance to
acknowledge those feelings. Some of the children were tearful as the drum program took them to a
place of remembering their loved one, but there was also joy at the conclusion of the program which
offered hope. These children seemed to more fully engage in the program.
Limitations
Although it seems like this is partly a result of my having a more established therapeutic
relationship with them, there are other factors that could have influenced this outcome. Individual
personalities play a large role in how engaged a child is in an activity, so the campers that participated in
those three weeks might be more predisposed to embrace the drum activity. The children also
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represented a wide variety of experience with cancer, from children whose parents had already died to
children whose parents were actively dying to children whose parents were survivors. Also, since I spent
intentional time with the children and grew to know their history and personality, I might have been
able to read them better and perhaps cater the program more to their individual needs. I had a set
program in place, but I might have been more aware of which children might have more deep-seated
issues. This made me more in tune with the children’s needs which might also have played a role in how
effective the program was for the children.
Implications for Child Life
Because child life specialists are frequently involved in creating programs and activities which
assist children in coping with stressful experiences, it is important for them to be aware of the impact of
therapeutic relationships on the effectiveness of the activities they facilitate. While this can be
challenging in a fast-paced environment, such as the emergency room, child life can benefit from
remembering to focus on the relationship aspect of the interaction rather than being so task-oriented
on a specific intervention. Child life can also model this among other professionals, such as the nursing
and other medical staff, which will encourage positive interactions and facilitate overall healing. Future
research should study larger groups of children, accounting for individual variables, and could involve
more formal assessments, such as a pre and post-activity questionnaires. This way, there could be more
confidence in the results, and so that the findings about the nature of therapeutic relationships can be
applied to all populations.
Conclusion
Children who are touched by parental cancer face many challenging issues and have many
needs. Camp programming is beneficial for helping children work through their emotions related to
their parent’s cancer and for helping connect them to others who can relate to their experiences.
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Camps provide a combination of fun and therapeutic activities which address these children’s issues.
These activities, along with the therapeutic relationships established with the adults, provide children
with an opportunity to find some healing in the midst of their pain. While the activities can be enjoyable
in most situations, they seem to be most effective when experienced in the context of caring,
therapeutic relationships built over the course of time. Whether or not an activity or a camp program is
as perfectly effective as desired, any effort put forth to help support these children and their families in
their difficult circumstances is a rewarding and valuable use of time.
15
References
Barrera, M.G., Rykov, M.H., & Doyle, S.L. (2002). The effects of interactive music therapy on
hospitalized children with cancer: a pilot study. Pyscho-Oncology, 11, 379-388.
Farber, M.L.Z. & Sabatino, C.A. (2007). A therapeutic summer weekend camp for grieving children:
supporting clinical practice through empirical evaluation. Child and Adolescent Social Work
Journal, 24, 385-402.
Faulkner, R.A. & Davey, M. (2002). Children and adolescents of cancer patients: the impact of
cancer on the family. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 30, 63-72.
Kennedy, V.L., & Lloyd-Williams, M. (2009). How children cope when a parent has advanced cancer.
Psycho-Oncology, 18, 886-892.
Kornreich, D., Mannheim, H., & Axelrod, D. (2008). How children live with parental cancer. Primary
Psychiatry, 15 (10), 64-70.
McDonnell, L. (1983). Music therapy: meeting the psychosocial needs of hospitalized children. Child
Health Care, 12 (1), 29-33.
Mishna, F., Michalski, J., & Cummings, R. (2001). Camps as social work interventions: returning to
our roots. Social Work with Groups, 24 (3/4), 153-171.
Niemela, M., Hakko, H., & Rasanen, S. (2010). Systematic narrative review of the studies on
structured child-centered interventions for families with a parent with cancer. PsychoOncology, 19, 451-461.
Norfolk, T., Birdi,K., & Walsh, D. (2007). The role of empathy in establishing rapport in the
consultation: a new model. Medical Education, 41, 690-697.
Shirk, S.R. & Karver, M. (2003). Prediction of Treatment Outcome From Relationship Variables in
Child and Adolescent Therapy: A Meta-Analytic Review. Journal of Consulting and Clinical
Psychology, 71(3), 452-464.
Stickley, T. & Freshwater, D. (2006). The art of listening in the therapeutic relationship. Mental
Health Practice, 9 (5), 12-18.
Watson, M., St.James-Roberts, I., Ashley, S., Tilney, C., Brougham, B., Edwards, L., Baldus, C., &
Romer, G. (2006). Factors associated with emotional and behavioural problems among
school age children of breast cancer patients. British Journal of Cancer, 94, 43-50.
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Werner-Lin, A. & Biank, N.M. (2009). Along the cancer continuum: integrating therapeutic support and
bereavement groups for children and teens of terminally ill cancer patients. Journal of Family
Social Work, 12, 359-370.
Zahlis, E.H., (2001). The child’s worries about the mother’s breast cancer: sources of distress in schoolage children. Oncology Nursing Forum, 28 (6), 1019-1025.
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Drum Circle Plan
1. Begin transition into drum circle by arranging kids around the drums I’ve already set up and then
marching around the circle one or two times, counting “1-2-3-4” and stepping in beat, before
settling down in front of the drums.
2. I will introduce myself and the activity – “Hello, my name is Rebecca, and this afternoon I’ll be
helping you as we get to play some drums and learn about how to make different kinds of sounds on
them.”
3. Give some basic safety tips and drumming instructions: “So, first we need to talk briefly about ways
to keep ourselves and the drums safe. We don’t want to hurt the drums, so we need to take off any
watches, bracelets, or rings that we have on. We also need to keep ourselves safe by hitting the
drum correctly. A drumming secret that many people don’t know is that the drum sounds better if
you don’t hit it too hard, so we want to make sure that we are not just banging away – we need to
be careful of the people to our right and left and we also don’t want to injure our wrists.”
4. OK, let’s get started. I will show you how to do something, and then I want you to try. If I am
playing, I need you to listen, and then you’ll get a chance to try to copy me. Now, if we hit the
middle of the drum with our palm (point to the part), we get a deep sound kind of like a bass drum
(Demonstrate with drum on and off ground, then let them try). If we hit the edge of the drum with
the fleshy part under our fingers, the drum gives a higher pitched sound (Demonstrate, then let
them try). There are a couple of other sounds we can make – we can rub our hands or our fingertips
around the drum, or we could make a rolling sound...
5. We will transition into a call and response time where I will give a beat and they will play it back,
starting with very basic quarter notes and adding eighth notes or other combinations. Introduce the
concept of the motion which accompanies switching hands for different beats.
6. I will then encourage each participant to take a turn leading by playing a beat that the rest of the
group will then repeat back.
7. If I feel like they can act somewhat independently, I will split them into two groups and give each
group their own beat. We will then try playing the two beats at the same time as a whole group.
8. I will then engage the participants in a rainstorm activity. “Drums are neat because they can make
such different sounds. They can represent nature, and even our feelings, so now we’re going to
create the sound of a rainstorm in the forest. Let’s imagine that we are walking on a beautiful path
under some tall, green trees with a gentle mist surrounding us. We hear the wind stat to pick up.
Then it starts to sprinkle. Then it starts to rain a little more steadily, and now it’s pouring! We can
hear some thunder as the rainstorm is overhead. Gradually, the storm moves away – it’s still
raining, but it’s becoming lighter, until it’s just dripping again, and the wind is blowing, quieting to
nothing.” At each part of the story, I would stage the participants to come in with the various
drumming sounds to create the rainstorm.
9. Next, we’ll use the drumming to express emotions. “We can also make the drum speak our
emotions. How do you think it sounds when we’re happy? How about when we’re sad? What other
emotions could we express?”
10. We will delve deeper, trying to access emotions that usually remain hidden or that might lie under
the surface. “How does it feel when someone in your family has cancer? How does it feel when we
18
lose something important to us, whether that is a special toy we left on vacation or a person we care
about?” This might lead to conversation, or it might not, but I will try to be aware of and sensitive
to how everyone is responding and adjust if need be. The last question posed will be, “what does it
sound/feel like when you feel loved and cared for?”
11. There will finally be a free drumming time which I will monitor and, when I feel it is appropriate, or
when time demands, I will bring the session to a close by calmly and slowly beating my drum until
everyone joins in together, lowering the volume until I indicate we stop. This could lead into the
closing circle time.
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Drum Circle Rationale
1. The kids will be coming in from their lunch or early afternoon activity, and this could be a way to
transition from that active state to the frame of mind they need to be in to sit down and participate
in the drum program. By marching in beat, not only do they have to control their movements which
could help calm them from their morning, but I also will be able to assess each participant’s inner
sense of rhythm which will give me an idea of their musical abilities.
2. Basic introduction; no need to get very wordy.
3. Again, I’ll try to keep this succinct so that I don’t lose their attention, but this will help set the stage
for future instructions.
4. This allows them to start interacting with the drum and experimenting with creating the different
sounds. Again, this will help give them the basic tools for what is to come.
5. This will be the real start of our music making as we start putting everything together. Hopefully the
kids will really start engaging in this section and start connecting with their drum and with the
music.
6. Giving a child the chance to control something in the group will help give them a sense of
accomplishment at what they have created. It will also help with listening and with cooperation
because everyone will have a chance to lead and to follow. This could empower the children
individually and also create more cohesiveness within the group.
7. This will help us take our music to the next level with groups being able to act independently. It
should create a neat sound, and it will also prepare us for the rainforest time when there will be
layers of sound.
8. The kids will really enjoy making the sound of the rainstorm, and it will help the kids work as a team
but also have individual parts. This also gives them the concept of drumming representing
something else, in this case the sound of a rainstorm. This is a good step between the technical
aspects of drumming and the more emotional components.
9. This will help us explore using drums to express our emotions. We’ll start off with basic emotions,
but then let the participants offer suggestions of other feelings the drum could represent. This will
then hopefully open us up to thinking about deeper emotions.
10. If there are any unresolved issues, or if the children feel the need to express something, this would
be a prime opportunity for them to do so. Hopefully they will feel comfortable and safe enough to
try using the drums as a medium to express themselves. We’ll ask some hard questions or feelings,
but then we’ll end with a feeling that is safe and makes them feel cherished so that we can come full
circle and end on a positive note.
11. The free drumming time will allow them to work through something if they need to without feeling
like they have to announce something in front of the group. It could also be a way to find closure
from the drumming activity, or it could just be fun for them to have a time to manipulate the
instruments without a specific structure. Bringing everyone together at the end will signify the
official end and will collect everyone so that the closing circle will seamlessly flow from the drum
program.
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Drum Lesson Alterations
For July 15
1. I will plan to allow more time for the rainstorm development. The first time through might be fairly
quick to give them an idea of what the various stages are and to create the initial sound of the
rainstorm, but the second time will be more thorough and drawn out for the kids to really immerse
themselves fully in the experience.
2. I will also plan to let them drum freely for a longer period of time than I did on my first day. This will
be their own personal expression time, and no one but them needs to know what their experience is
representing or embodying.
3. Depending on the mood of the group, I might choose to split the kids into small groups for them to
create a beat that sounds like some emotion or like cancer. This would encourage them to verbalize
their feelings and work cooperatively so that hopefully everyone’s ideas are included. The rest of
the group would then join in the beat so that everyone feels like the others are identifying with
them. Hopefully this will make the experience more empowering for the kids.
For July 29
1. Let them “test” the drums before really beginning the structured aspect of the drum circle because
it’s too great of a temptation to make them hold it all in at first, and hopefully by letting them
experiment quickly, they will get it out of their system and be able to focus. This will replace walking
around the drums in a circle to the count of 1-2-3-4.
2. Have a distinct sound that signifies an ending to the current playing so that I can quickly gain
attention. A hand sign will not work or be firm enough because they will not always be looking, but
if I have a sound I can definitively end a specific time of playing and then definitively lead the new
section.
3. Suggestion – have them play a beat together as they express their feelings on cancer
4. If I think there may be a child who will have difficulty behaving appropriately, I will make sure there
is an adult next to him/her so that physical reminders can be given if necessary.
5. Perhaps have each child play what they think their animal sounds like – during wild life week at
least.
For August 5
1. We tried turning the lights off during the rainstorm as was requested by one of the campers, and it
actually was kind of neat. Depending on the room, that is something we could try in the future. I
think the room used at the East Side location would not be conducive to that, but I thought it was a
good addition because it helped create the mood better so that the kids could more fully be
surrounded by sound.
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2. There was a little confusion on my part about how to end the circle on July 29, and that led into a
discussion about how to conclude. We do not want to end with everyone being really sad as they
think about the family member with cancer. It is not necessarily appropriate to conclude with
directions to play something happy, either. Instead, it was suggested that after we play how having
a family member with cancer feels, that we could play either something that reminds us of the good
times or something that we feel about the person or thing that has helped us through what we’ve
experienced – someone we can go to to talk about anything and who cares about us and loves us.
For August 12
1. When I have the kids pick and play an emotion, I could potentially give them a list of ideas instead of
making them come up with one on their own. Originally, I did not want to put any ideas into their
heads because I wanted them to really think about which emotions to pick. However, they seem to
copy one another anyway, so maybe by suggesting a few emotions beyond the basic happy, sad, and
angry, they would be able to get more in depth.
2. Make sure I am continuously evaluating how the program seems to be going and make changes
when appropriate.
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Drum Circle 1 – 6/24/2010
This was my first experience leading the drum circle program. Overall, I think it went really well.
I felt fairly calm throughout the program, and I thought I did a good job of managing the kids. There
were a few times when I had to be clear about when to play and when not to play, and I think the
children responded well. Some of them started playing when it was another child’s turn, but I was able
to diffuse that by stating the importance of respecting the other child as well as by following through on
my promises that everyone would have ample chance to express themselves through the drums. The
other volunteers mentioned that it seemed like I was in the “honeymoon phase” as the kids respected
or at least listened to me more as a newcomer, as I was able to hold their attention for the most part.
This first time leading will help me prepare for the next time because I will have a better idea of how the
kids might act with the drums so that I will hopefully be more ready to address those issues as they
arise. I will also be able to feel more confident in my ability to lead, which I hope will instill confidence
in all involved.
According to the other adult volunteers, the drum program went really well. I received some
very positive feedback from them which helped me realize what things I did well and also made me
more aware of reactions. They said that they really loved it themselves and that they thought the kids
also loved it after they got over the initial self-consciousness. They also confirmed that having a variety
of instruments rather than each child having the exact replica of another child’s drum, worked out just
fine as they were able to switch on their own when they desired. This time there were no problems
with those transactions, but that will be something I will need to be cognizant of in the future. I was
also told that I had a natural way of talking to the children, gave clear directions, and had a nice flow to
the program. The volunteers thought that the drums were a good outlet for the kids because it allowed
them to be a little more physical while staying centered and grounded. Overall, the drum circle program
was “a nice addition to animal camp.”
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There were also a few suggestions as to how I could augment the program. When the kids are
drumming how different feelings sound, I could have the children guess what emotion they are
expressing. This could ensure that all the kids are really listening to each child which can be
empowering for the child who is drumming. It could also help teach the lesson that we might not be
able to guess accurately what someone else is feeling, and that it is ok for us not to understand and to
be willing to ask. Another suggestion revolved around the question, “what does it feel like/sound like
when someone in your family has cancer?” Instead of having the kids individually go around the circle
and drum if they wanted, I could split them up into four groups and have them come up with their own
beat together to share with the entire group. This might mean that they would verbalize their feelings
in the small group so that they can collectively turn those feelings into music. It could be a positive
addition and might make the drum circle more therapeutic rather than just a fun activity.
The biggest aspect I might try to change is my own awareness. I think I was so concerned with
leading well and trying to create a good program that I was most focused on the details and the
facilitation of the drumming. This is part of my role, so I hope to continue doing the best job I can with
this. However, I also think it is important for me to be paying attention to how the kids are really
responding. I did notice that some of the children volunteered to play their feelings more readily than
others, but I hope that in the future I will really be paying attention to how all of the kids are responding
to the program. It is true that I did not have a pre-established relationship with these kids, so I might
not know their responses as well as the other volunteers might, but I want to be able to be present in
the moment instead of trying to think too far ahead. If I am paying attention to each child’s cues, I will
hopefully be able to institute a more effective and enjoyable experience than if I am merely running
down my list of activities I had pre-planned. The volunteers assured me that the children did enjoy the
program, but I want to be able to know that for myself because I want to be very in tune with what is
happening at each step of the process. Because I have had my first experience leading the drum circle, I
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hope to be able to focus more on the kids and to have more flexibility as I seek to facilitate a drum circle
that is both enjoyable and therapeutic.
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Drum Circle 2 – 7/15/2010
This was my second experience leading the drum circle, and my first time leading it with a group
with which I had already established relationships. It was a little shaky at first; I had some difficulty
getting the group to settle down the way that I wanted. Unlike the first group, they were not paying
quite as much attention to me or focusing on the task at hand. One suggestion is that this is because
they were comfortable with me, and so they did not feel the need to behave as well as they might have
for an outsider. In any case, I did not do a great job of keeping things as organized as I would have like
at the beginning of the group, so I will need to work on presenting myself more as a leader rather than
just as the friend they have come to know.
Still, I think the drum circle had some very positive aspects. The rainstorm was a great
experience, and the kids started to get more involved at this point. As was suggested last time, I took
more time with each stage of the rainstorm, and I think it helped them really experience the different
sounds that were created. One volunteer said afterwards that the rainstorm was a good symbol for life
– there are calm times, then stormy, then calm again. I think extending the time slightly with the
rainstorm also helped transition the kids from the more hectic technical start to the more serious
drumming of emotions. It altered the energy in the room and I think made the kids more open to
expressing themselves.
These kids were a group of deep thinkers, and I really enjoyed the time spent drumming
emotions. I thought they fully embraced the time we had and were very thoughtful about how they
were using the drums; they considered their feelings and desired to drum a sound to reflect them.
Although I had given them some basic drum sounds and beats, the kids were very creative with their
sounds often making new sounds which further showed that they were putting a lot of thought into the
drum circle. One of the girls wanted to present two different sounds for how it feels to have someone in
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the family have cancer, and one of those sounds was complete silence. During one part of the program,
I had everyone choose one emotion to drum, so they had to make a conscious decision about what they
wanted to express and how they wanted it to sound. It was amazing to see the depth that these kids
reached in their expression as each truly thought about their emotions. I think the free drumming
period at the end helped them continue to process through their feelings on their own terms since there
was no audience at that point. Also, allowing them more time than I had the first day granted them the
opportunity to find a sense of closure to the activity rather than feeling like their time was cut short.
The response was very positive. The volunteers really liked how the drumming made them in
tune with themselves and their emotions and expressed surprise at how much it touched them. The
kids also seemed to have benefited from the experience as revealed through some of their comments
during the closing circle. One girl said that she really liked being able to express her feelings without
having to tell anyone anything specific. Another camper said that he really liked the drum because it
helped him clear his mind, and he does not get to do that very frequently so he enjoyed the moment.
Other comments were that they could let it all out – all the sadness and anger; also, one girl said that
she did not know how to express what it felt like, but that it was really good. The drumming did seem
cathartic for some of the kids, and I think it brought the day to a close well. I still need to work to
improve the drum program, but I feel very satisfied by how this week’s experience concluded. Despite
the rougher start, the kids used the time to search inside of themselves and were open to expressing
that through drums, and I feel privileged to have been a part of that amazing experience.
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Drum Circle 3 – 7/29/2010
I felt pleased with this drum circle. I was able to incorporate a lot of the suggestions from
previous experiences into this drum program, and I thought that the result was very positive. Letting
them “test” their drums and then having them respond to the tambourine sound for silence was very
effective. When we started the technique aspect, they seemed much more attentive and less tempted
to just bang on the drum for fun because they had already been able to do that initial exploration. They
listened well to my instructions as well as to each others’ playing and were able to copy with ease. They
seemed like a pretty talented group, and it was fun playing together with them.
The rainstorm also went really well. The kids seemed to really enjoy it and were immersing
themselves in it. Early on, one of the boys started playing out a little when he should not have,
disturbing the guided imagery I was trying to create, and several of the kids spoke up, telling him to stop
and that he had “ruined” the image they had in their head. After that, though, it went smoothly. The
second time, one boy suggested turning off the lights, so we tried it, telling the children that they would
need to be absolutely silent and listening. One of the staff stood by the lights, ready to flip them back
on if it was too much to handle. I thought it was a really neat experience; it was easy to pretend that we
were really in the middle of a rainstorm, and the kids seemed to really start connecting with their
drums. I think this was a great setup for a transition into drumming feelings because the kids were
starting to start experiencing the music instead of just hitting a drum.
We then transitioned to the drums representing other sounds such as their horses, so I had
them each play a beat for their horses which was fun for them to express the personalities they had
been discovering. The kids started clapping after a lot of the drumming, impressed with what each
other had created. I really liked how they showed their support. This then transitioned well to the
drums representing emotions. Some of the kids had trouble picking an emotion to play, and most chose
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fairly basic feelings – sad, excited, and angry – whereas in other weeks, there were a few more
emotions, such as scared or lonely. I might need to transition into this better because it seemed like the
kids were starting to get more antsy, but it might just be on account of the timing. On the other hand,
several of the children were becoming thoughtful, and playing how it feels when someone in the family
has cancer was a pretty moving experience for some of the kids and staff. There were even a few tears
shed when everyone was playing together, so it was suggested that we end with something more
positive to remember the good times and memories instead of only dwelling on the sad parts.
I was a little disappointed that one of the girls did not engage when I thought that she especially
might benefit from the program, but I was impressed with several of the other children. One girl had
banged some on the drums, so she said that her hand hurt some, and while I do not think she should
have been hitting so hard for that to happen, I did feel like she was getting out some anger or other
strong emotion. Other people said that they enjoyed expressing feelings that they had trouble doing
before and that the physical aspect was really nice. There were still a few issues to deal with, but I am
starting to feel a lot more confident in leading the circle, and I am interested to see how the next weeks
go to compare them to this week that went so well.
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Drum Circle 4 – 8/5/2010
I did not volunteer for this entire week, so this drum program experience was one in which I did
not have a previous relationship with the ten campers. I was very interested to see how it went because
this week would be a good comparison with the other weeks when I do have a relationship with the
kids. The only other week in which I did not have a relationship with the campers was the first week,
and that was my very first time ever leading a drum circle, so in some ways, it was experimental.
However, by this week four of animal camp, I feel much more confident and have ironed out a lot of the
problem areas.
Overall, I think the program ran pretty smoothly. Animal camp serves children ages six to
twelve, but this week was a younger group when compared to the other weeks. This seemed to affect
their attention span a little, and they often wanted to just jump right into the drumming, so I needed to
make sure I remained the leader throughout our time together. I utilized the tambourine/jingle bell
sound to indicate to the group that it was time to listen, and they responded fairly well to that. I also
reminded them frequently to be listening to each other, and I tried to add more structure to the
activities by explaining concisely what needed to be done at each step. When the kids wanted to switch
drums, they did a good job of trading in a non-argumentative fashion, and I think they felt pleased with
the drums they tried. Everyone but one young girl participated without hesitation in the program. The
one girl actually left the room with an adult staff member about half way through the program. I was
told later that she was just overwhelmed from the day and needed some quiet time. It was not
disruptive to the other kids, though, so I deferred to the staff member to make the appropriate decision
since she knew the girl and her situation best.
Because this week will serve as my best comparison experience when I am considering the
effects that a therapeutic relationship has on the effectiveness of a therapeutic activity, I tried being
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aware of how the kids were responding. Since I was more comfortable leading at this point in the
summer, I was able to balance my duties as a leader with also being an observer. The kids seemed to
really enjoy the drum program. They liked hearing all the different sounds the drums could produce and
had fun experimenting. Based on my observations, though, the group seemed to be more superficial
than the previous two weeks when I had relationships with the kids. They did not seem to engage as
deeply in the section when we drum emotions and feelings. They mostly chose basic emotions to
express, such as mad and excited. It was suggested that they needed more suggestions because the
group as a whole did not think through which emotion they most wanted to express and instead would
base their decision on what the other kids were doing. So, in the final week, depending on the
developmental level of the kids, I might offer a few more suggestions for them to consider.
When receiving feedback from the volunteers, they expressed that they thought the drum
program was a lot of fun and that the kids really enjoyed it. The camp coordinator, who has been in
every drum circle I have led, encouraged me that even though the kids did not go as deep as previous
groups had, that that was partly who the kids were. It was a different group of kids, so they were going
to respond differently whether or not I had an existing relationship with them. There were a few
campers who did make comments in the closing circle that extended beyond just having a good time.
One girl said that she liked how each drum had a unique sound which then turned into a staff
commenting on how unique each child and person is. There was also an older boy who said that he
liked being able to express his feelings on the drum. So while it seemed like most of the kids were just
having fun with the activity, which is a great thing, there were a few who seemed to have gone a little
more in depth.
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Next week, I will continue to try to account for each child’s uniqueness as I lead the drum
program and as I observe how they are responding. I hope to be able to create an environment where
the drum program can be as meaningful as possible for each individual child.
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Drum Circle 5 – 8/12/2010
This was my last time leading the drum circle for the summer animal camp programs. It has
been good for me to recognize that I am gaining more confidence. I am also glad that I can be flexible. I
have had a plan for each week, and it would be easy to be rigid in that plan so that everything gets
accomplished that is supposed to get accomplished. However, I have seen the value in being open to
whatever comes, too, because if I only stick to my original plan, than that might limit expression. Case in
point, today I had less time than my program usually takes, so I needed to be conscious of what to
choose to do to make the most of the time I did have while still taking them on a journey. I wanted to
keep my general structure so that I could lead them through the stages of learning the basics of drums
to using drums to represent other sounds to using drums to express oneself, but I also needed to
shorten some of the stages. It turned out well; I would have liked to have more time to explore the
emotional aspect more fully because I think the kids were engaging in the activity, and I did not want to
cut our time short. However, I was still able to make the program come full circle and feel complete,
even if I would have liked to do more.
The campers did seem to enjoy the program. They were excited to get the drums, and there
was no arguing over which drums were better this time. Many of the aspects of the drum circle went
really smoothly. At first, B. did not participate when it was her turn to lead us in a beat which was
disappointing for me. I was really hoping she would engage especially because she did not have to say
anything. I was concerned that she would not involve herself at all in the activity, but she did drum
during the group times, and when everyone picked an emotion to play, she actually spoke up, as well.
She chose the word “calm” and played something short. She also chose to play something to represent
how she felt about her mom having cancer. Since she has not been influenced by the other kids’
participation in the past, I was really glad that she chose to participate in this rather than reverting to
her refusing.
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There were a few other positive aspects of this drum circle. Several of the campers really
thought about what they wanted to play for their emotion and for cancer. One of the girls said
afterward that she felt sad because the drum circle made her think about her grandmother who had
died a couple of years ago. I do not enjoy the fact that the kids might get sad, but I am glad that the
drum circle can help them identify their emotions and help them feel. We did end the circle on a
hopeful, positive note, but I wonder how many of the other kids will take their experience in the drum
circle home with them. Another wonderful outcome of the drum circle is that it helped another boy
open up more than he has in the past. Twelve-year old Bryan has seemed young for his age, and I have
not noticed many serious moments. However, I was told that after the drum circle he seemed open to
talking with Kathy. Before, he has not really expressed emotions, but he did play something meaningful
when expressing his feelings about cancer, and the program seemed to help him be a little more
vulnerable. If he was the only kid who was impacted by the program and who started to open up as a
result, it would still have been a success, but I think the other campers also benefited, and that makes
me feel like the drum circle is a very helpful tool for the therapeutic aspect of this camp.
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Animal Camp – Wildlife Week 7/12/2010
7/12/10
Today was the first day of animal camp, and I am really excited for how the rest of the week will
progress. The kids seem like a great group, and it will be enjoyable to see their individual personalities
come out more each day. Even during the opening circle, the children all seemed willing to share. The
Museum of Natural History will provide such a great program for these kids. They were already
engaging the children and instilling excitement for the week as they showed animals such as an
opossum and a skunk, and in the closing circle, each child mentioned that they were excited to see what
animal they would be assigned the next day. The children seemed to really enjoy their first day, and I
hope that the coming week will let them experience a lot of fun while also creating an environment that
allows and encourages them to express their feelings regarding cancer.
On the bus ride to the museum, I had a good conversation with a seven-year old girl, Korina.
She initiated the conversation, asking basic questions as we started to get to know each other.
Eventually, she volunteered that it had been awhile since she had been to the Gathering Place and that
she used to come because her grandmother had cancer but that she had passed. She talked about it
with ease, but did not really talk about any of her feelings associated with her grandmother’s death.
That bus ride established a bond between us, though, and for the rest of the day, she had a lot to share.
She even encouraged me at one point to face my fear of snakes. She told me that living in fear was no
way to live because I would always be ruled by my fear if I was scared of something and that I needed to
face my fears. She actually had pretty keen insight for someone so young. She seems to be coping well
with her grandmother’s death based on the fact that she did not get upset and seemed comfortable
bringing up the topic on her own, so I wonder if she might share something with the group later in the
week that will positively impact some of the other children.
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I think it is great that I was able to begin to form a relationship with Korina already. I feel like
she trusts me, not only because she freely talks with me, but also because she physically relied on me
during swim period. I want to be able to use the relationship we have already established to hopefully
help her experience at camp be the best possible. She told me that she was nervous about coming to
camp originally, but by lunchtime she was already very glad that she came, and she was very excited for
the rest of the week. When I first talked with her on the bus, I did not necessarily pick up on her anxiety,
so in the future I hope that I will be more aware in my conversation. As a child life specialist, I need to
be constantly in the mindset of assessing how children are coping and what their developmental level is,
and I was not very intentional in my thought process. I will strive to be engaging my mind more during
my interactions so that the conversations will be as meaningful as possible. I am also a little concerned
that Korina has attached herself to me; I am not sure how much interaction she really had with the
other children, and I want to make sure that she forms relationships with the other kids and not just
with me and the other adults. She seems like a very friendly child who easily makes friends, so I do not
anticipate that being a problem, but I will look for opportunities to connect her with the other children.
I hope to be able to spend more time with a twelve-year old girl, Sarah. Per the background
information we were given regarding her, it seems like she is really going through a pretty difficult time
right now. She seems to be a very sweet girl who does not always talk very much. However, I do feel
like I established a connection with her, especially in the pool when she won our handstand
competition. I think there is a lot she could probably talk about, from her experiences with cancer to
her self-image. Because I worked with middle school girls a year ago at camp, I feel particularly drawn
towards Sarah. I really want to be able to support her through this time in her life. I know there are
other volunteers who could also impact her this week, but I also would love to be able to talk with her
more. I think this first day I was hesitant to really ask many questions about cancer experiences, but as
the week progresses and as the relationships become more established, I hope that I will seize the
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opportunities that present themselves. I do not want to force a conversation, but I think Sarah could
really benefit from talking through some of her feelings, so hopefully this camp experience will enable
her to express herself and help her be more in touch with the inner strength she already possesses.
7/14/10
Before the children arrived this morning, I spoke with the Children’s Program Director about
which child I would be assigned for the rest of the week. This week, my child is a seven-year old female,
Korina. Korina’s grandmother, whom she was very close to, died of cancer a year ago, and she misses
her very much. She speaks fairly easily of her grandmother, volunteering information on the first day of
camp. One of my goals for this week will be to evaluate her coping to determine whether or not she
would benefit from continued involvement in the Gathering Place bereavement program. In addition,
there are some goals associated with Korina’s experience at camp. Tuesday, Korina had been
interacting with her turtle, and for the first time in the wild life specialist’s recollection, the turtle bit
Korina. It was pretty painful and scary for her, so that definitely affected her. So, my goals for today
were to see how she was feeling about the turtle and to help her and the other young girl with the
turtles have a great experience with the animals. Also, Korina is not an experienced swimmer, so
throughout the course of the week, I could work with her to help her acquire skills to increase her
comfort and abilities in the pool.
I knew from previous interaction that Korina was open to talking about her grandmother, but I
did not have a good sense for how her grandmother’s death was still affecting her. Throughout the
course of the morning, Korina was a little more restrained in manner than she had been on Monday.
This could partly be due to her needing to warm up to me again after me being gone on Tuesday. It
could also be due to her experience on Tuesday with her turtle biting her and her feeling anxious about
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taking care of the turtles again. In any case, by the afternoon, Korina seemed open again to sharing her
feelings. We were able to spend some time talking while walking in the river. During our conversation, I
asked if she and her mom talk about her grandma much anymore. She said they did not, and when I
asked if she wished they did, she said that she did because sometimes she cries. So, it seems like she is
still really missing her grandmother. She did not cry when she was talking with me, but she did have a
softer voice. It seems like she has been coping, but maybe she needs the freedom to express the
emotions that continue to arise in her. After today’s interaction, I am not concerned that she is
suffering from great emotional distress, but I do think it might be helpful for her to feel like she can talk
about her grandma with her mom whenever she wants. In the next two days, I will seek to better
determine how she is coping. She said that she does not really do anything when she starts crying to
help her feel better, so maybe together we can come up with some strategies to help her cope.
While working with the turtles, I tried to be very aware of how Korina and the other girl were
feeling. They both expressed a little anxiety before seeing the turtles. They had already planned to
switch turtles, and they actually used a different turtle today than yesterday, so that seemed to help set
them at ease a little. Korina might have been a little hesitant in her handling of the turtle, but she still
engaged in the activities. She did make several comments about not wanting to get bit again when
handling the new turtle and when talking to other visitors in the museum lobby about the turtle’s beak.
However, she became more comfortable handling the turtle and would pick it up on her own. We were
able to talk about the hurt the turtle caused on Tuesday, and she acknowledged that it was a medium
pain, about a five on a ten-point scale and that it did not hurt today anymore. By speaking freely about
the incident, I think it helped her to process through all that happened so that she could move forward
and enjoy her time with the new turtles. She said she was excited to come back tomorrow, so although
she may still never want to do much with her original turtle, it seems like she will still have a positive
view of her experience with the animals at camp.
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Today, I also talked a little with a six year old girl who wanted to sit by me at lunch. She
mentioned that a friend of hers had died this year. I was aware that her dad had cancer but was doing
ok now and that her grandmother had died from cancer, but I did not realize that she knew someone
her own age who had died. She said that she saw his mom crouched down and crying and that that
made her sad. She did not talk much more about that, but it would be interesting to know what made
her say something about it. It seems like she must be thinking about the boy’s death since she brought
it up, so even though it did not seem like she was particularly worried about anything, I wonder what
made her mention it. She does seem to be a deep thinker, especially for a six-year old, which was also
witnessed during the labyrinth activity when she decided to think about her dad’s illness. If an
opportunity arises, I might see if she is open to me asking a few more questions about how the boy’s
sudden death affected her as well as how her dad’s cancer impacted her.
Sarah also had a little bit of a rough day since she was stung by a yellow jacket a couple of times.
She seemed pretty quiet again today, not offering much information or initiating much conversation
with either the staff or the other children. Overall, I think she is feeling a little more comfortable being a
part of the group and was still very polite and friendly, but I think she is still experiencing a lot of
stressful emotions. Even though she kept talking about how her legs hurt and expressed dislike of being
outside, I think she will be ok with the sting. I do think she seemed more affected by the sting than I
would have anticipated for an almost thirteen-year old girl. Maybe this is because of all of the other
stressors in her life at this time. She said that she really enjoyed the labyrinth because she could clear
her mind and not think about anything; since she normally is thinking about something, I think this
activity was a great way for her to have a break from all of her thoughts and emotions. She sounded
really excited about going to the pool tomorrow, so I hope that the rest of the week will also be relaxing
and fun for her. I also hope that she will continue to express herself and that the staff will be intentional
in our interactions with her.
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7/15/10
Today was a very full and productive day! At the museum, we were given the privilege of seeing
the cold room where they keep all the stuffed animals not on display. I remembered that Korina had
said the first day that she used to be scared of the stuffed animals on the wall, but she seemed to want
to be big enough not to be scared of them anymore, even though she still seemed a little anxious at
times. Even knowing this, though, I was a little surprised at how much she struggled against going in the
cold room. She turned away several times and seemed very frightened of entering the room. One of
the volunteers slipped a towel around her to keep her warm and stayed near to her for the majority of
the tour, but gradually Korina became acclimated to the environment. I think she ended up coping fairly
well with the experience, but it was interesting to see how her fear affected her.
I was impressed with how Korina was responding to the turtles today. She and Gracie showed
their turtles in the lobby, talking about the facts they had learned to those passing by. They both did a
great job of remembering information and of telling those who wanted to hear. At one point, Korina
remarked that she wished she could hug the turtle. Also, when saying goodbye for the day, Korina
stopped to pet Chip, the turtle who had previously bitten her. I thought this was a great step for Korina
because it showed that she was coping well with the bite. She was still a little nervous of getting bitten
again, but instead of passing by Chip’s tank, she intentionally stopped to pet him, so I was very proud of
her for that. I was also proud of her for how she acted in the pool. She was truly enjoying being in the
pool and was having fun with her friends. The staff was able to continue to encourage her as she
worked at learning how to swim, and although there were a few times when she seemed hesitant, she
really did a great job. She has improved so much since the first day of camp, and she really desired to
swim between us volunteers.
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It seems like Korina typically interacts well with the other kids. However, on the bus ride to the
pool, I noticed that she was kind of keeping to herself and was much quieter than normal. I was not
sure if she was just tired, if she was feeling left out for some reason, or if something was bothering her.
So, when we got to the pool, I asked her about it, and she was upfront about the fact that something
had been bothering her and that we could talk in the pool. I pursued it in the pool, asking her what had
been bothering her, and her reply was, “What is always bothering me…I think about it every day!” She
did not seem to get upset saying that, but she was very emphatic about the fact that she thinks about
missing her grandma every day. I think it will be good for her to attend the Bridges group if, in fact, she
does go, because although it seems like she is doing ok, she is still grieving the loss of her grandma, and I
think it might be helpful for her to be in an environment with other kids who are in the same place.
I also was able to talk to Jazz, a nine-year old whose father died six months ago. During lunch,
she was kind of off by herself, so I approached her to see if she was doing ok. She seemed hesitant to
talk, but I could sense that there was something on her mind and that she would like to talk, so I tried
asking questions in such a way to deduce what was bothering her. She did not want to say that anything
was wrong, but it became clear that she was really missing her dad at the moment. It helps her to talk
about him and “process” through memories, so I listened to her and asked questions to show my
interest. We probably talked for a good thirty minutes as she shared about her life. She said that
certain memories can set her off, but that she can cry about it and be done with it for that one thing, so
that now there is less that is making her sensitive. However, her friends do not want to make her cry by
asking about her dad, so it seems like they do not talk about it much, and I think Jazz really wishes she
could talk about it more. It helps her to write down her memories sometimes, and I suggested voice
recording herself so that she can get all her thoughts expressed since they sometimes come faster than
she can write. After talking with her, she seemed in better spirits. I also think she will benefit from
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attending the Bridges group so that she can feel the freedom to continue to process through her
memories of her dad.
Today was also the drum circle, and I think it went fairly well. Avery, an eight-year old boy who
always seems to have excess energy, struggled with restraining himself. It was very difficult for him to
behave appropriately during the program, and it was a little frustrating for me. I could tell he was
distracting some of the other kids, but I was not sure how to handle it because I did not want to
obviously call him out in front of the entire group. However, during the closing circle, he mentioned
that the time was going by way too quickly. It became clear that he was having a really difficult time
with the camp coming to a close, and he did not know how to appropriately manage those feelings. It
was a good lesson for me that there is a reason behind kids’ behavior, and instead of immediately
growing frustrated with a child, maybe I should take a step back to see what the real issue is. Overall,
the kids seemed to really connect with the activity, so I hope it was therapeutic for them.
7/16/10
Today was the last day of camp. It was a great day, but also a hard day because there were a lot
of goodbyes to say. During the opening circle, we all said what superpower we wished we could have,
and while most people were saying the typical “fly, be an animal, talk to animal” answers, eight-year old
Avery said that he wished he could change time. He expressed what most were feeling – an excitement
for the activities of a day, but a sadness about the camp coming to a close. Between the opening and
the closing circle, though, there were a lot of great memories made.
The graduation ceremony went really well; the kids did a great job talking about their animals.
Some were more vocal than others, but they all participated. I especially enjoyed hearing Korina’s
response to the wild life specialists question about turtles making good pets or not. During the week,
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the specialist had been saying that turtles are not necessarily the best pet because of how long they can
live – fifty to seventy-five years – so that it is a long term commitment. However, on stage, Korina
explained taking care of a turtle as “the ultimate sacrifice” which made me chuckle a little. I did not
notice the kids taking much time to say goodbye to their animals, but all expressed later that it was hard
saying goodbye. I think a lot of them felt better about it knowing that they could come back and see
their animals again, but there still was some sadness involved with needing to say goodbye. One way I
saw Korina expressing this was by being a little clingy to her mom. However, the process did go fairly
smoothly.
What was interesting in the pool, though, was that Korina seemed to regress with her
swimming. She was much more anxious than she had been even the first day. She would grasp me and
repeatedly beg me not to let go of her, even though she had been swimming for several days by this
point and doing well. She would be wide-eyed and panicky if she felt me move at all as if she did not
trust me to keep her safe. It was a little disheartening to me because I felt like she did not trust me after
I had already proved myself numerous times to be trustworthy from all the other days of swimming.
Previously, she had just used me as a base to launch from, but today, she was terrified of letting go of
me. I wonder if this was her way of trying to maintain some semblance of control when she felt like
everything was slipping away from her. She had already lost her grandma, and now her time at a camp
which she loved was coming to a close, so maybe by holding on tight, she felt like she would not lose
something. Whatever her reasons, it was interesting to see her regression and made me realize more
fully that she still has a lot of work to do with the passing of her grandma to cancer.
The end of the day went too quickly. The kids finished their scrapbooks and went around asking
everyone else to sign or give their phone numbers. The ice cream was enjoyed by all, and soon it was
closing circle time. Everyone was sad to be leaving from camp, and there were a few who especially
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seemed to be struggling with this being the last day of camp. Avery again mentioned something about
time going too quickly, so I hope he is able to process through the week with the help of his parents
when he goes home. During our staff meeting afterwards, we all talked about missing the kids, too.
They were a really great group of kids, and it was wonderful to see them open up to us and trust us with
their issues, some of which were very raw still. I hope these kids will be able to continue to get the help
and support they need!
It was interesting for me to realize how much I was affected by these kids. I did not feel
emotional when saying goodbye to the kids, but afterwards, during the staff meeting, I all of a sudden
felt a little overwhelmed with emotion. I had grown to truly care about each of the kids, and it pained
me to know that they had to go through so much at such a young age. I feel like there is still so much
they need to work through, and part of me wishes that I could always be there to give them the
attention they crave or the listening ear they need or that at least I would know they would always have
somebody to do that for them. The superpower that I said I wished I had was the ability to fix
everyone’s problems. That is an aspect of me that I know affects me, because, unfortunately, I cannot
fix everyone’s problems. However, I hope that the conversations I had with the kids this week and my
being present with them will be of some help as they press on and continue to experience life.
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Animal Camp – Horse Week 7/26/2010
7/26/10
Today was a successful first day of camp, and I am optimistic about how the week will progress
because it seems like, overall, we have another really great group of kids. There are a couple of difficult
situations, so there might be some issues that arise throughout the week, but hopefully we will be able
to address them as they occur. The kids were all extremely excited to be introduced to their horses. At
first, this concerned me a little because everyone was so single-focused on meeting and riding their
horses that they did not always seem to be listening well. They did well with grooming, though, and
tried following directions while riding for the most part, so I think they were just too excited to tolerate
any extended amount of waiting time.
It was interesting to note that several of the kids were quite nervous at first being on their
horses after they had been raring to go from the start of the bus ride over to the barn. It makes sense
because it was a new experience for the campers, but it was still interesting to see how their demeanor
changed once they were on top of the horse. The six-year old who seemed a little hyperactive and who
had trouble listening to directions and staying still became much more focused on the task at hand once
she was riding. Two of the older girls were a little anxious and expressed some fear when they first
mounted. It was neat to see their transformation, though, as they gained confidence and became more
comfortable steering their horses.
Going to the pool was a lot of fun, and I think a lot of good bonding occurred between several of
the girls with each other as well as with me. I had a conversation with ten-year old Alisa about some
body image issues. She expressed discomfort at having to put on her bathing suit because she was “fat,”
and so we talked about her view of herself for a little bit and about self-confidence. We also talked
about respecting ourselves by not putting ourselves down, and we conversed some about a healthy
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lifestyle. I am not sure how deep these feelings of hers run, but she really seemed to enjoy the pool,
and hopefully she will be able to view herself highly and accept herself. If she brings up something
related to her appearance in the future, I might try to explore the issues in more depth, but, for now, I
think we had a good conversation. In some ways, I think every girl struggles with self-esteem issues, so
her statement could be part of typical development; however, we do want to encourage healthy selfconfidence.
I really enjoyed meeting and getting to know a sibling pair – Josh and Alicia. Eleven-year old
Josh seemed very easy-going in conversation on the bus, and he was such a polite young man who really
impressed me. When asked about the medical collage, though, he became more quiet and made a
comment about not liking being in the hospital. He did not talk about it more in front of the group, but I
wanted to follow up with his comment. When I asked him privately, he seemed very introspective,
which fits with his conscientious and thoughtful mind, and he said that he was thinking about his
grandma and really missing her. He said that the hardest part was seeing her in the hospital bed just
lying there with something around her legs to help with blood flow and that at the end of her life, her
not knowing them was difficult. He was affected by it, but it seemed like he did not want to show any
signs of emotion or weakness, so I did not push more at the time. I plan to follow up with him later
since he seemed open to potentially talking more in the future to see how he really is coping with the
loss of his grandmother.
Alicia, who is ten years old, also seemed like a happy child on the bus and during the activities;
she laughed a lot and was able to joke around, making friends easily. However, at about the same time
that Josh began thinking and we were talking, Alicia asked if she could go to the bathroom. Later, I
realized she had never come back, and I found that she had locked herself in the bathroom and was
crying. She did let me in, which I felt was a sign of trust, and she shared a little bit about her grandma,
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but for the most part, we sat in silence. I just tried to be present and to let her know that I cared and
that I would be willing to listen anytime if she wanted to talk. We needed to get back to closing circle,
but I hope that moment in the bathroom will pave the way for future conversations. She is my assigned
child for the week, so I hope that we can have some meaningful and helpful conversations, and that this
week might be the week that she is able to work through some issues with which she might be
struggling.
I have conflicting feelings about another sibling pair who bring some interesting dynamics to the
group. They were kind of acting out with each other, but they are very different in that the younger
sister is very active and more loud-spoken while the older girl seems to kind of retreat into herself at
times. From hearing the background story, I feel a little upset at the family because it is clear that the
girls are not handling their situation well. There is so much disruption in their lives with their father
moving away “for a job” but also for a separation from their mother who is battling an intense cancer.
The adults are not really telling the girls the truth about the mom’s state, and so the family’s coping
seems to be avoidant. I do not want to fall into the trap of being judgmental, so I hope I can keep an
open mind and realize that the family is going through a lot that I do not even know. I wonder how
animal camp will affect these girls. Will they open up and begin expressing their feelings in a healthy
way? Or will they prove to be a disruption to the other campers? It might be difficult to try to balance
everyone’s needs, so I am interested to see how this week of animal camp will progress as the Gathering
Place seeks to help all of these kids cope with having a family member with cancer.
7/28/10
I feel like there were many significant interactions today with the campers. From playing
basketball in the gym upon arrival to being at the barn to riding to the nature center, I was able to
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continue developing relationships with the kids and to engage in meaningful conversations with several
of them. There are a few kids I feel like I am still not connecting to, so I hope to be more intentional in
the final two days, but I also do not want to neglect the relationships I have already established. One of
the girls, a ten-year old, seems to be withdrawing a lot from the whole group and has refused to
participate in group activities with us. Her six-year old sister is also a challenge because she draws a lot
of attention to herself by her manipulative behavior. The staff has developed a plan to address their
individual issues – not playing into the older girl’s opposition and keeping a careful eye on the younger
sister – but I feel a little frustrated by their actions, so I need to be careful to keep an optimistic attitude
rather than assuming that we will not be able to reach these girls.
I was able to talk to two campers about their experiences with cancer. Eight-year old Dena
talked without hesitation, but she did not share much. She seems to be a pretty happy girl, but did not
admit to feeling scared about anything or speak specifically on what was the hardest part of knowing
her mom had cancer. She did say that her dad helped out a lot and that they had a great support
system with friends bringing over dinner frequently. In some ways, the potential severity of the disease
has not seemed to impact Dena greatly, so hopefully she can continue to use her family to help her cope
with whatever may come. I was also able to talk to eleven-year old Josh more about his grandmother.
He openly shared some stories and memories with me and seemed very comfortable talking with me.
He admitted that he still cries sometimes, but not as much anymore, and that he seems to be “getting
over it.” He often listens to his grandfather, though, because he realizes that it helps his grandpa’s pain
lessen when he is able to share stories of his wife. Josh has been an impressive young man, and I felt
proud of him for how he seems to be coping. He knows that he is always welcome to sharing more
stories with me if he wishes, so I feel like he would talk if he really needed to, and I am glad that he feels
comfortable expressing himself.
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Today, the kids learned about Reiki, a healing arts service. They had seemed distracted during
the talk on photography and ideas to think about while taking pictures, but they were much more
focused during the Reiki lesson and demonstration. One of the boys in particular became quite serious
and wanted to try Reiki on several of the staff, always asking permission first. Many of the children
wanted to try it on their horses, as well, and after someone was hurt, they used Reiki to help her feel
better. It was neat to see them thinking of others above themselves.
One of the most significant interactions of the day occurred after ten-year old McKenzie got
stepped on by her horse, Peaches. Although I would never wish this upon her, it was exciting for me to
be able to use some of the child life skills I have been learning about in class to help her successfully
master her stressful experience. I feel energized knowing that I was able to help her. At first, she was
inconsolable, so I stood by her and held her, letting her cry at the initial pain. However, when Kathleen
started addressing McKenzie’s medical needs by cleaning her toenail area and applying the gauze and
tape, I started working on getting McKenzie to calm down. I tried distraction by asking her what her
favorite icecream was, but she was too upset to be able to answer, so I realized I needed to work on
getting her body to relax first. She was so tense that her pain probably felt exponentially worse than if
she was in a more relaxed state, so we worked on breathing. I encouraged her to take deep breaths,
telling her to pretend like she was blowing bubbles. It took her awhile, but I kept coaching her to take
deep breaths and was using comfort positioning to some degree to encourage her breathing. Through
the breathing exercises and also through encouraging her to relax her shoulders and in turn the rest of
her body, we were able to get her to a place where she was fairly in control of her emotions. She would
still cry, but it was more controlled, and she was able to physically regain control of herself. At this
point, I tried some distraction again, and this time she was able to answer questions about her favorite
icecream, for example. There were a few times when she relapsed a little back into tensing up and
taking short, shallow breaths, getting herself worked up, but we were able to utilize the coping
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strategies we had already implemented to help her return to a more calm state and successfully make it
through the entire cleaning and bandaging process.
I was also encouraged that, from the beginning, she acknowledged that it was not Peaches’
fault. In fact, she expressed that she really wanted to get back on Peaches and was excited to ride her
tomorrow. I think it is great that she is viewing this situation positively, even though she was in a lot of
pain, and that she is not letting the incident debilitate her with fear. I was very proud of her and praised
her for doing a good job. I was also very proud of the other kids in the group who were so concerned
about her. They went out of their way to make sure she was ok and to try to help. Several kids were
shoulders for her to hold onto while hopping on one foot, Josh carried her for some of the time, and
almost everyone spoke to her to see how she was doing. I thought it was neat to see the group respond
in such a way and grow closer through this experience. Everyone still seems very positive about their
horses, so hopefully tomorrow will go smoothly when we arrive at the barn.
The downside to today was that I did not spend as much time with Alicia as I would have liked. I
really enjoy talking with her, but McKenzie demanded a lot of my attention today. I wanted to be able
to help her continue to cope, but that often meant that Alicia had a little less access to me since I
needed to be aware of what McKenzie could and could not do. Alicia was a great helper, and as one of
McKenzie’s closer friends at camp, was one of the kids who was leading the initiative to help out
McKenzie for the day. However, I need to make sure that she does not feel left out or less important. I
want to be more intentional with her tomorrow and give her some undivided attention rather than
letting all the other girls who want to sit by me distract me from listening to her. I want her to feel like
she can talk to me and that I will listen, but because she is fairly mature for her age and does put others
above herself, it is easy to tell her to wait while another child with less patience demands my attention.
Hopefully, I will be able to get some good one-on-one time with her so she can open up and so that we
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might be able to talk about what we started on the first day in the bathroom. It is difficult for me to
balance giving attention to everyone, and I will probably still struggle with that tomorrow, but I do plan
to make a point to seek out Alicia and let her know by my actions that she is important.
7/29/10
The kids seem to really be connecting with their horses and engaging with them. They were all
able to groom their horses today, displaying what they have already learned this week. It was neat to
see them enjoy this aspect of care so much, because it seems like some kids would just want to get on
and ride, but our group of children tried hard to groom their horses well. They also practiced riding, and
it was good to see their great improvement from the beginning of the week. I am looking forward to
them showing off for their parents, because it is clear that they are taking great pride in themselves.
They hold themselves properly on the horses and take their role very seriously but also are really
enjoying themselves; practically all of the kids talk repeatedly about how much they like their horses and
how they wish they could keep riding. Since today is the second last day, I also think they are starting to
realize that the week is coming to an end, and so they are trying to spend as much time as possible with
their horses.
One of the activities the campers did today was talking to their horse. We started the day in our
opening circle each telling something that the rest of the group did not know about us yet. When they
were with their horses, they had the opportunity to tell their horse a secret or something that no one
else knew. Some of the kids had little patience with this, wanting to be done fairly soon. However,
some of the campers did take this time pretty seriously. One of the girls who was normally very open
with me and seemed to have a smile on her face most of the time became very protective of her time
with her horse. When I was walking by, not even paying attention to what she was saying, she stopped
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talking and told me that she did not want me to listen. I hope that this time was therapeutic for the
kids, that they were able to express emotions that maybe that could not tell any other person. I feel like
some of the campers needed to realize their feelings, so hopefully this was a good and nonthreatening
time for that.
The rest of the day progressed fairly smoothly. The kids enjoyed being at the pool, and when we
got back to the Gathering Place, they spent several minutes writing thank you letters to their horses.
Again, some of the kids had a hard time focusing on this task, but others took this very seriously and
wrote very meaningful and loving letters. One boy seemed to be thinking that the idea was kind of silly
because he kept laughing and avoided writing anything. However, it seemed like he really liked his
horse, so maybe he was having a hard time coming to terms with needing to say goodbye to his horse
the next day. After this was the drum activity which went pretty well, and it will be discussed fully in the
separate entry.
Again, I did not get to talk as much to Alicia as I would have liked. I did not find as much one-onone time with anyone since there seemed to be more group activities. Her brother, Josh, has already
heard about Bridges, so I will plan to talk to Alicia about it, as well, so that she can start thinking about
attending. The siblings really miss their grandma and they like doing things that make them feel close to
her such as looking at the bench erected in her honor or wearing a locket with some of her ashes in it.
So they seem to be coping fairly well most of the time; they are able to laugh and enjoy themselves,
engaging in activities and forming relationships with other people. However, it still seems like they
would benefit from having more opportunities to talk about their grandmother. I plan to be intentional
in finding time to talk with Alicia tomorrow to see if there is anything else that would be beneficial for
her.
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7/30/10
The kids did a great job with their graduation ceremony. The handled their horses well and
showed how much they had improved from day one on their horses. It was really hard for them to say
goodbye, though. In opening circle, our helper at the barn, Barb, started crying which was, I think, really
good for the kids to see. She had formed an attachment to all of the kids, and it was good for them to
realize that it is okay to express emotions and express sadness. I think it was a good model for the kids
before they had to say goodbye to the horses and each other. When it was time to say goodbye to their
horses, the kids did get pretty emotional. A few girls shed some tears, and I just held one of them, trying
to comfort her while she grieved. Some of the guys were a little upset, too, and one of them had a really
hard time saying goodbye. Several of the children expressed that their horses would say, “I love you” to
them, and I was so encouraged hearing them seriously consider what it means to miss someone or
something.
There was an incident on the bus when I tried to talk to the ten-year old girl whom we had been
having some difficulty with as related to her oppositional and withdrawn behavior. She called to me to
sit next to her on the bus, so I took this as a good sign because she was actually indicating some kind of
preference for something. I tried starting a conversation with her, asking her what she had for supper
the previous evening, and she refused to answer even that simple question. From there it went
downhill because she wanted to move over and not sit next to me anymore, but I would not let her
undo her seatbelt and made her move back when she disobeyed. She refused to look at me or
acknowledge my presence at all and threw aside the paper towel I got for her when she started getting
emotional. It was very disheartening to realize that she would not even talk about what she ate for
supper because I am not sure if there is a more innocuous question, and I feel like I could not do
anything. I wish I had been able to get her to respond in some way, but we had also talked about not
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encouraging her behavior, and so it was hard to know how best to interact with her. In the closing
circle, she did admit that she would miss being with everyone at camp which was the most she had
shared throughout the week. I am hopeful that she will continue to come to groups at the Gathering
Place and begin to participate and engage more.
I also was able to talk to Alicia a little bit more at the pool which was a conversation I had been
hoping for since our time in the bathroom on the first day. We were finally able to get some one-on-one
time together, undisturbed for a few moments from the activity of the other kids splashing around in
the pool. She admitted that she did not like talking about her grandma or expressing her feelings. She
did say that she liked to journal and that that was how she usually let out her feelings, but she does not
usually talk much to anyone. I can understand this, because I was also an inward processor for the
majority of my life and I realize that sometimes you just have to think through things before being able
to talk about them with other people. However, I am also a little concerned because I think it can be
much healthier to be able to process through something that is hard with other people. Especially
because the loss of her grandma is a shared experience in her family, and her family seems like it is a
supportive, well-established family, I would think it would be helpful for her to be able to talk about her
feelings with someone else in her family. Again, I would never want to force her to talk, and I do think
she is working through some of her feelings, but I would encourage her to express her feelings so that
she develops a healthy pattern of confronting and dealing with her emotions rather than holding
everything inside of her.
Overall, it was a good week. The kids were receptive to a lot of what we did, and it was neat to
see them open up throughout the week and place trust in us. I think it was helpful for them to learn to
take care of an animal and get close with their horses because hopefully they can apply the lessons they
learned and help them be able to say goodbye in other situations or cope with other stressful situations.
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Animal Camp – Puppies Week 8/9/2010
8/9/10
Today marked the beginning of the last week of animal camp at The Gathering Place for the
summer of 2010. When listening to the descriptions of each of the kids and their situation in morning
staff meeting, it seemed like the week could be quite interesting; there will be some unique challenges,
but overall, it seems like this week could have great potential. All of the kids seem very sweet and have
already showed compassion towards one another. For example, when she heard that the coordinator’s
dad had died of cancer, she intentionally took time later to say that she was sorry for her loss. Another
younger boy is aware of the people around him, holding open doors for the ladies and getting carpet
squares for some of the adults. Although it seemed like a very diverse group of kids during opening
circle, they already seem to be coming together as a group, and they even discussed the idea of unity in
closing circle, so I am looking forward to seeing how the rest of the week progresses.
I spent some time with a ten-year old boy, Kevin, who seems quite varied in his behavior. He sat
very still when holding his puppy and already has expressed deep love for his puppy and therapy dog.
He can also hold conversations, talking about his family and even being able to tell me directions to his
house or to The Gathering Place. However, he is also very active and can engage in inappropriate
activities sometimes. He enjoyed the pool water but was not always respectful of the people around
him. He would apologize after jumping on someone, but he did not think through his actions before
doing them and often splashed people to their displeasure and to his amusement. He did volunteer
information about coming to The Gathering Place frequently in the past, so hopefully he will be able to
express some of his feelings this week regarding the cancer in his family, and hopefully he will be able to
utilize positive outlets more frequently.
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The camper whom I am assigned to this week is a nine-year old female named Bethany. I was
familiar with her already because her family used to attend my church at home, so it was interesting
interacting with her more extensively today. Physically she seems to be developmentally appropriate,
but there are other issues in her life which may be affecting the rest of her development. She is not
doing well in school as reported by her mother, but whether that is due to a learning difficulty or to her
diagnosed ADHD is unclear from my fairly limited interaction with her. She also seems to have some
social issues; during the opening circle, she refused to say anything out loud to the group and seemed
rather clingy to her mother. However, when it was just the group of campers, she spoke up more. She
did not interact a lot with the other campers today, but she was starting to form some relationships, so
hopefully those continue throughout the rest of the week. She also seemed to struggle some when we
were at the rescue village. She was one of the last to be assigned a puppy because she did not seem to
want any of the first ones, but soon after being given a puppy, she wanted to play with the others
instead. Also, she did not want to spend much time with her therapy poodle but seemed to want to
touch and play with all of the other dogs first. I do not know if the other dogs just seem more appealing
to her or if this is part of her nature – to not fully experience or engage in one activity but rather to
bounce around from one thing to the next.
My goals for her camp experience are for her to be able to develop and maintain friendships, or
at least positive relationships with the other campers, and also for her to be able to connect with her
puppy and therapy dog. I do not know how much she knows about her mom’s cancer, but she did seem
to be able to talk about her mom’s visits to the doctor, so maybe this week will also help her express
some of the emotions she has. I will try to facilitate interactions between her and the other girls to help
any kind of bond that may form between them and to encourage those relationships. I will also try to be
near her when she is with her animals to try to keep her engaged in her animal instead of letting her
eyes roam to everyone else’s animals. It is good for her to enjoy watching the other kids with their
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puppies, but I want her to be content and happy with her animals, as well, and I would like it if she could
love being with them. Through the course of our interactions, I hope she will feel like she can express
her feelings concerning her mom’s cancer. In some ways, it seems like it is hard for her mind to stop to
think about something for an extended period of time, but I hope this week can be a time for her to
work through some of the issues she may be experiencing in her life.
8/10/10
Most of the kids really love their puppies and have thought of names for them. It is interesting
to note how aware they are of their own puppies as well as others. When we bring the puppies in, even
the several that look very similar, the kids will start pointing and declaring which one is theirs. They
have so identified their puppy that there is little doubt in their mind about which one is theirs, and
although a strongly possessive attitude might not be the best, it is good for them ot have formed an
attachment and to feel like something is their own.
Bethany does not always seem to know her puppy, though, like the other children do. She is still
skittish around them. She will reach out to touch them but then quickly pull away and say, “oh, my!”
She does not really play with her puppy, but it does like to run around, so it is probably good that she is
not smothering her. It does concern me, though, that she does not seem to be connecting with her
puppy like the other kids. She always seems engrossed with the cats because she is familiar with them
since she has cats at home, but she can still seem skittish even when touching the kittens. So, at first I
thought she might just be a little scared of dogs, but I do not necessarily think that is the sole reason for
her behavior.
Bethany did interact with the other girls a little more today, sitting by them on the bus versus
sitting with a volunteer. They also talked about silly bands, and Bethany shared her lunch with the
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others. Really, she gave most of it away but then would constantly ask about snack, so I am not sure
what was going on with that. It seems like she could be using food to get what she wants. For example,
one girl did not want to sit next to her on the bus so Bethany said that she would give her food, and the
girl agreed to sit by her after all. I am concerned that Bethany will continue to use what she has to get
what she wants which I do not think is healthy. I hope she can learn how better to interact with others; I
and the other staff will try to model that as best as we can.
Ten year old Kevin also talked a little more to me. He actually seems pretty open to sharing, so
it was good to hear him talk. He talked about his family – his older brother who is his dad’s son, his
older sister who is his mom’s daughter, and him who is a product of both parents. He also said that
everyone has some aspect that makes them sick; his mom has cancer, his dad has diabetes, and he had
a lot of surgeries when he was young. He also mentioned his parents’ separation and how it has been
hard. He still gets to spend time with his dad every weekend, but it is not enough because he loves his
dad so much. He think his dad is the best which is apparent in how he talks about him and in telling
what his dad has taught him, especially sharing basketball memories. It really concerns me that his
parents will not tell Kevin that his dad has cancer, too. I think he would feel betrayed and upset if he
found out later that they were not honest with him. I can understand them not wanting to scare him if
the cancer is easily treated and managed, but he seems like the kind of kid who should be told this
important news.
This afternoon the campers made bowls for their puppies. There were some issues regarding
bickering over colors and brushes, but they were resolved fairly easily. The kids do seem like a great
group, but they also seem to feel very entitled to what they think they should be getting. Especially in
this activity, they did not like to share, and they seemed kind of self-focused or egocentric. Maybe the
group is accustomed to things being taken away from them, such as a loved one who died or a parent
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who cannot be as involved because of her cancer, so maybe they are compensating by becoming quite
possessive. Bethany was one of the kids who was involved in this bickering, often tattling on the other
girls before attempting to resolve an issue. This causes mild animosity because girls do not like to be
told on, so I think Bethany’s relationships would improve if she tired first to reach a compromise before
involving an adult to plead her cause alone. In this case, I did need to step in to make sure everyone was
sharing, but it seems like there are some social issues that could be improved nonetheless. Hopefully,
the group will continue to mesh instead of only consisting of individuals who are doing their own thing.
8/12/10
I am realizing that I am learning a lot about therapeutic relationships from my time here at
camp. I am concerned that Kevin is getting really attached to not only his puppy but the people
volunteering at camp and especially me. He is going to have a really hard time saying goodbye
tomorrow to Brownie, his puppy, and also to all of the adults who have given him so much caring this
week. He always wants me to sit next to him on the bus, and I usually do because none of the other kids
make a point of asking. I try to still be intentional about talking with the other campers or including
others in conversation, but I also give Kevin a lot of attention. He already has mentioned me babysitting
for him like one of the other girls had done and he asked if I helped with the support groups. It seems
clear that he wants to see me again after camp, which is fine, but I need to make sure that our
relationship still is of a professional nature, that any interaction happens through The Gathering Place.
Realizing that this may be hard for Kevin to understand helped me comprehend one of the aspects of
therapeutic relationships. It is not just to keep the professional from getting too enmeshed in the child
and situation, but it is also in place to help the child. Kevin needs to be able to be independent, to be
able to function well without me in his life, so part of my role in a therapeutic relationship could be to
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also ensure that he does not grow overly attached to me, either. Kevin needs a lot of attention and
loving care, and I am glad that I have been able to give that to him this week, but I also need to be able
to prepare him for next week when he is not at camp.
I felt like the kids were starting to bicker more again today. They were not always being very
nice to each other, and there were actually some hurt feelings as a result. We need to be more
proactive about enforcing the rules of respecting each other and ourselves because I am not sure if the
campers really took that to heart. Bethany brought a camera today that looked like a toy so some of the
kids, especially the boys were making fun of her. She was annoying the kids by taking pictures when
they did not want her to, so she was partly at fault, too, but it was disappointing to see the campers
start making fun of each other or devaluing each other. It was kind of ridiculous, actually. At the pool,
one of the volunteers had brought M & M packets for each of the kids. When a few were found on the
ground, the kids started arguing over who should get them. Now, I would probably throw those away
myself, but they were upset over the fairness of who should get to eat them. Again, I am not sure if
these behaviors are a result of their struggle with cancer in their families or if it is just their age, but it
was very interesting to see them argue over this.
Bethany seemed to be pushing the limits again today. It is hard to tell if it is intentional or if she
just cannot help herself. It does not necessarily seem to be related to her mom’s illness. It could be as
result of the uneasiness with the separation status or maybe she started to adopt these behaviors from
some other source. Whatever the cause, I hope that she is able to get some help because this should
probably be addressed before it becomes a bigger issue. It usually takes several times of reminding to
get her to respond whether in going to the bathroom or not touching kittens or coming out of the pool.
She often refuses to talk in the circles and she initially refused to play alone in the drum circle, as well. It
is hard to get her to express herself, and I am not sure how to approach that. I tried talking to her at the
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shelter when she was exploring the cats, and she admitted that she was shy sometimes, but it was
challenging to get her to actually respond appropriately rather than her saying, “I don’t know” to every
statement I made. I will continue to try to find opportunities to talk with her one on one to see if she
will express anything else.
8/13/10
Today was the final day of puppies camp and of animal camp for the summer. I feel like I have
learned so much and gained so much confidence this summer, and I am excited to use my experiences
here in my future work. It was an emotional day for several of the campers. There were a few issues
with the puppies that made the graduation ceremony stressful. One of our campers barely got to see
her puppy because it had fallen out of its cage and injured his leg, so her final day with her puppy did
not provide as much closure as it might have if she had been able to hold her puppy and play with him
one last time. Another camper, Kevin, was crying over having to say goodbye to his puppy to the degree
that he could not read his book about his puppy. It was really hard for him, and my heart broke a little
watching him struggle. He really has a big heart, and today was rough for him because he had to say
goodbye to so many aspects of his great week at camp. Bethany admitted that sometimes she gets
watery eyes, too, so that was good to hear her express that even though she did not seem very affected
by saying goodbye to her dogs; she was more interested in the kittens. Still, she did well in the
graduation ceremony, speaking without hesitation in front of the group.
On the bus ride over to the pool for lunch and swim time, I sat next to Kevin because he had
once again saved the seat for me, and I wanted him to be able to talk about his feelings if he wanted.
Throughout the course of the bus ride, he did express himself. He was obviously going to miss his
puppy, Brownie, very much, but he also mentioned something about the puppies dying. This seemed
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unusual to me since the puppies are so young at this point in time, so I asked Kevin what was concerning
him, if he thought Brownie was going to die soon. He said that some people do not take care of their
pets well and that maybe Brownie’s new owners would be mean and not take care of her. So he was
crying because he was scared that Brownie would be abused and die. I tried addressing this issue by
reminding him of the lady who had come in earlier in the week to tell us about how she goes out to
suspected animal maltreatment cases. People like her can get pets out of those situations and bring
them back to a place where they will be taken care of, and so I tried to help Kevin by reminding him that
there are people who could help Brownie if she was ever to be in a bad home. I also asked him what
positive things he could think of, and he said that he would have pictures of Brownie and that he was
going to rename his favorite stuffed animal dog after Brownie. The girl sitting in front of Kevin on the
bus, nine-year old Kendra, was also instrumental in helping Kevin with his sadness because she started
talking about silly bands. That got his mind off of Brownie and made him laugh again. By the time we
reached the pool, Kevin told me that he was starting to feel better, and I was pleased that he was able
to express that. After the pool time he again told me that he was still a little sad but feeling much
better, so I am glad that he was able to bounce back and enjoy his afternoon at camp.
Bethany seemed to have an interesting last day at camp, too. It did not appear that she had
connected greatly with her therapy dog or her puppy because she expressed little remorse over having
to say goodbye, instead preferring to pet the other animals at the shelter. She did seem more
comfortable with Cyrano than she did the first day, but I was disappointed that she usually did not say
which beagle puppy was hers. I do not know if that is because she did not really know which one was
hers or if it was just part of her behavior to say, “I don’t know” since she said that frequently even when
she did know the answer. Also, in the pool she climbed to the end of the high diving board and then
refused to jump. I even offered to jump off the low dive at the same time like I had seen Kathy do the
previous day, but she said that her mom did not want her jumping off the high dive, so finally she
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climbed down. When I talked to her later about it, asking why she climbed up if she knew her mom
would not want her to, she said that her mom never said she could not, but that she did not like Bethany
to be in deep water, so it was a factor of the depth of the water not of the height of the diving board.
This frustrated me because Bethany was using something as an excuse that really was not an excuse
seeing as she jumped off the low dive into the deep water numerous times. It seems like Bethany often
has some kind of reasoning for her not to do a behavior which is really her twisting what someone else
said. She seems to manipulate the system often, testing the limits. For example, she will frequently ask
me a question and when I do not give the response she was hoping for, she would say, “well, Kathy told
me…” to see what I will say next. I try to stay consistent in my responses, but I do not always know how
to interact with Bethany.
Also at the pool, Bethany cut her toe when getting out of the water, and she made a fairly big
deal about it. It barely bled, and it was easily cleaned and bandaged, but she was very concerned about
the first aid person making it sting, so I asked if the guard needed to use alcohol or if she could just wash
it with water. Since the toe was barely injured, the guard could just cleanse it with water, so Bethany
was fine, but it made me think that she would have a very hard time if she ever had a hospital
experience. Since I have been in the emergency department recently, I was thinking about how to help
Bethany in an emergency situation if there something more major that she needed to experience, such
as stitches. I feel like she would present as a very difficult child to work with and that it would be hard
to get a good read on her development in the brief interaction we would have on the emergency
department staff since there are so many different facets to who she is. I was reminded of the
importance of family-centered care because her parents do know her best and could provide some very
helpful information about how to help her through such a procedure. Without any preparation, I would
not be surprised if Bethany would have to be physically held down, but hopefully through using her
parents and trying to work with her, she would be able to cope more effectively with her experience.
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When we got back to The Gathering Place, she again asked about food even though they had
just had snack at the pool, but it was one of those conversations where she wanted confirmation of
what would be happening, I guess, because she seemed to know the answers after all, but wanted me to
tell her what she wanted to hear. She rushed through her scrapbook, slapping down pictures without
caring about the appearance or about what the picture contained, even including a picture that was an
accidental shot of her leg. This also led to my conclusion that in some ways she did not connect greatly
with the week and with her animals because she did not seem to show any care about putting her
scrapbook together. This could be part of her ADHD nature and her not wanting to spend a great
amount of time on something, but I would have liked to see her engage more in the process of creating
her memory book. So, in some ways, it was a disappointing week because it did not seem like I could
really help her much or make a difference, but hopefully just being with us and socializing with other
kids was a good experience for her. She can be challenging to be around, but some of the other kids
tolerated her pretty well, and I think she enjoyed being around other girls her age, so I hope that her
being at camp will have taught her a few lessons about social interactions and about expressing herself.
I think she took in more than she it might have appeared, because I do think she was observing and
listening a lot, so maybe this experience will help her down the road.
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