CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, NORTHRIDGE
AN ANTI-BULLYING PROGRAM TO TEACH MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS
HOW TO POSITIVELY INTERACT WITH THEIR PEERS
A graduate project in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of
Science in Counseling, School Counseling
By
Katelynn Quach
May 2015
The graduate project of Katelynn Quach is approved:
Tovah Sands, Ph. D.
Date
Bruce Burnam, Ph, D.
Date
Shyrea Minton, Ed. D., Chair
Date
California State University, Northridge
ii
DEDICATION
I would like to dedicate this project to my mother. Thank you for teaching me to have
kindness in my heart and an optimistic viewpoint. Words cannot express how grateful I am to
have you in my life. You have always put your children’s needs before yours by making sure
that we are in the best position to be successful. I cannot thank you enough for those
opportunities. Without your constant support, I would not be in the position that I am today. I
can only hope that I can make you as proud as I am to be able to call you my mom.
To my aunt, thank you for teaching me to be a strong independent woman. You have
taught me to not let the negative opinions of others affect how I see myself. Thank you for
teaching me to aim high and never settle for less than your best. Thank you for being a prime
example of how a strong woman can be successful in life by committing themselves to their
passions in life.
Lastly, I want to thank my grandmother for teaching me about empathy and compassion.
You have scarified a great deal in your lifetime to make sure that our family could have the best
life, and I cannot express how thankful I am for it. I will never know how much pain and
hardship you have gone through, but I hope that I can make you proud with all of my academic
success. Thank you for constantly teaching me to give to others when I am in a position to do so
and showing me that success is not measured by how much money or materialistic objects a
person has but by how many lives you have touched.
iii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
To my chair, Dr. Shyrea Minton, words cannot express how appreciative I am to have
received the opportunity to work with you this past year. Thank you for putting my mind at ease
when I felt as if I did not know what I was doing. The constant support and help you have
provided to me through stressful situations has not gone unnoticed. Your passion to make future
school counselors the best they can be is inspiring. This passion can be seen through, not only
your work with me, but also in the classroom. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to
experience your endless devotion to the program since the start of my program. Thank you for
being one of the most dedicated professors that I have come across as I pursued higher
education. You have helped me learn to believe in myself and as I make the leap towards the
real world, you have inspired me to try to make a difference in the counseling world. Whether
this difference is a small change at a school or a big change, I can only hope to affect not only
my students but other students as well.
To Mrs. Lisa Severns, thank you for taking a chance on a girl who you did not know and
becoming her supervisor. I will be forever grateful for everything that you have done for me this
past year. You have taught me how to be a caring and compassionate counselor. Your warm
and loving personality is contagious. After having the opportunity to work with you, I can
understand why all of the students rave about you. You truly are one of the best counselors that I
have had the opportunity to work with. I will be eternally grateful for the learning opportunities
that you have provided for me and for helping me grow to become the best counselor that I can
be.
To Mrs. Barbara Broihier, thank you for taking me in as if I were your intern and
teaching me your tips and tricks of being a school counselor. Your outgoing and positive
iv
attitude was a great joy to be around. I am appreciative of everything that you have done for me.
From helping me meet assignment requirements, to lending me all of your resources so I can
finish my thesis, and everything in between, I am extremely thankful to have gotten the
opportunity to work with you. Thank you for being a great example of how to inspire not only
the students, but also the people that we cross paths with to create a better society.
To Mr. Richard Intlekofer, thank you for being just as wonderful to me as you were back
when I was in high school. I am thankful for all of your help this year. I know that I would not
be where I am today without your support and dedication. Your passion for the counseling
profession, as well as your love for the students, shines through when you work with them. You
have taught me that even though the students on your caseload may have graduated, they will
forever be your students and you want them to achieve the very best in life, just like you did
when they were in school. Thank you for being the sweetest and most giving counselor that I
have come across. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to personally experience the
admirable Mr. I that all the students talk endlessly about.
v
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Signature Page
Dedication
Acknowledgement
Abstract
ii
iii
iv
vii
CHAPTER 1-INTRODUCTION
Introduction
Statement of Problem
Purpose of Project
Terminology
Summary
1
1
2
3
4
7
CHAPTER 2-REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE
Bullying
Ages and Trend of Bullying
Types of Bullying
Description of Bullies
Parenting Styles and Bullying
Characterization of Bullying Victims
Popularity and Cliques
The Queen bee
The Sidekick
The Banker
The Floater
The Torn Bystander
The Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger
The Target
Benefits of Cliques
Consequences of Bullying
Consequences of Bullying on the Individual
Social-Emotional Learning Theory of the Individual
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need and Bullying on the Individual
Affects of Bullying on the Bully
Bullying and Adulthood
Ways to Reduce Bullying Behavior in School
School Counselors’ Role in Preventing Bullying
Cognitive Behavioral Theory
Cognitive Behavioral Theory in Schools
Conclusion
8
8
9
11
12
13
17
20
22
23
24
25
26
26
28
29
30
31
31
32
34
35
39
44
45
46
47
CHAPTER 3-KINDNESS DOES COUNT
Introduction
Development of Project
Indented Audience
Personal Qualifications
48
48
48
50
50
v
Environment and Equipment
Formative Evaluation
Project Outline
51
51
52
CHAPTER 4-CONCLUSION
Summary of Project
Recommendations for Implementation
Recommendations for Future Research
Conclusion
References
54
54
54
55
55
58
APPENDIX A- EVALUATOR’S LETTER AND SURVEY
APPENDIX B- KINDNESS COUNTS
64
66
v
ABSTRACT
ANTI-BULLYING PROGRAM TO TEACH MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS HOW TO
POSITIVELY INTERACT WITH THEIR PEERS
By
Katelynn Quach
Master of Science in Counseling, School Counseling
The purpose of this project is to bring awareness to middle school students of how
negative interactions can affect students and educate them on how to positively engage with each
other. Students who are identified as bullies or victims of bullying, will most benefit from the
program, titled Kindness Counts. Students will partake in an interactive activity that teaches
about the impact of their negative comments and promotes positive remarks when conversing
with peers and posting on social media. Students will then apply the lessons taught in the
program through a short homework assignment and learn the importance of being kind to other
students, which will hopefully create a better learning environment for all students.
vii
CHAPTER 1-INTRODUCTION
Introduction
“That’s Damian. He’s almost too gay to function”. When asked what movie this
quote is from, any young female will instantly respond: Mean Girls (Michaels & Waters,
2004). The movie, directed by Mark Waters (2004), depicts and amplifies the negative
consequences of bullying and relational aggression found in an American high school. A
new student to high school, Cady discovers herself being welcomed by an unpopular couple
at school unbeknownst to her. Through her newly acquired friends, Cady finds herself
befriending the most popular girls in the school to seek revenge against them for her new
friends. Throughout the movie, the audience experiences the breakdown of every student
relationship in the school due to gossip, rumors and cattiness that many teenagers experience
in their daily lives at school (2004).
Even though Mean Girls exaggerates the behaviors that students encounter in high
school, the movie is not entirely inaccurate as to what students endure in any given school
day. Bullying is the most common form of violence found within schools (Stone, 2013).
According to Domino (2013), it is currently the leading form of school violence, with
destructive affects that last into adulthood. Students between the ages of 8 and 15 rank
bullying as the most severe and pressing matter they currently face. These students find that
bullying is more problematic than AIDS, racism, pressure to engage in sexual activities as
well as alcohol and drugs (Domino, 2013).
This holds true, especially at the middle school level, where there is an increase of
bullying among the students, especially relational aggression and cyber bullying (Smith et
al., 2008). Bullying behavior represents the highest rates of physical bullying among boys
1
and peak rates of relational aggression among girls (Domino, 2013). With the increased
access of technology as well as the popularity of social media, such as Twitter, Instagram and
Facebook found in this new millennium, children and teenagers have more opportunities to
endure bullying around the clock.
Stone (2013) contends that technology has brought a “dark side” to bullying in which
students can engage in the act and inflict pain to others anonymously and without seeing the
direct consequences of their actions. In fact, Hammel (2008) estimates that 1.6 million
students in the United States are bullied at least once a week. As a result of the high number
of students who are constantly bullied, it is essential to teach children the effects of their
verbal and written put-downs can have on each other.
There are two types of bullying that are commonly found in schools: direct and
indirect bullying. According to Olweus (1993), direct bullying is “traditional” bullying
where their peers physically hurt the victims. Indirect bullying, on the other hand, is when
students exclude others and attack their character, by spreading gossip and rumors about a
particular student (1993). Indirect bullying is rapidly becoming more and more problematic
in the schools. In fact, indirect bullying, or relational aggression, as it is more commonly
known as, has surpassed direct bullying as the most common type of bullying found in
schools (Smith et al., 2008).
Statement of Problem
Bullying is a rising concern for school counselors as well as teachers and
administrators especially at the middle school level, where 39% of middle school students
report being bullied on a daily basis (Stone, 2013). The proposed project was designed to
reduce bullying by having students become aware of the consequences that their words have
2
on their peers. By reducing bullying, a cohesive learning environment where students do not
have to worry about their safety can be established. By creating a safe learning climate for
students, the academic marks the pre-teens and teenagers receive in school will increase
(Urbanski & Permuth, 2009). The increase in grades will benefit the students, for they can
participate in extra curricular activities that schools offer, such as sports, dances, and pep
rallies. Furthermore, an excellent mark pleases the parents as well as the teachers, for they
are happy that the student is receiving high marks and taking an interest in their education.
In fact, Olweus (1993) reported that teachers report a positive atmosphere in the classroom
when students received praise from their teachers regarding excellent schoolwork.
Second, the mental health of the students who are constantly bullied will greatly
improve. Based on Abraham Maslow’s theory of hierarchy of needs (2011), which will be
discussed in greater detail in chapter 2, students will be able to focus on their school work
rather than on making sure that their basic human needs are met, such as food, shelter, and
safety when bullying is decreased within a school.
By educating the student population of a school on how to raise students’ spirits
rather than diminish this spirit, students’ attributes, such as self-esteem and self-confidence
will rise (O’Moore, 2010). Lastly, teaching students skills to inspire others rather than
breaking down each other’s characteristics may create a school environment with less
conflict and need for adult mediation among students in and between school sites in the
district.
Purpose of Project
The purpose of this proposed project, Kindness Counts, is to teach students how to
reduce their bullying behavior in a school setting. This is done by educating young
3
adolescents on the consequences that their actions and words have on each other. The
purpose of this workshop is to have middle school age students become knowledgeable about
how their behavior can directly affect their peers’ self-image and self-worth. Students will
engage in an interactive activity facilitated by a school counselor or a school-counseling
intern under the direct supervision of a credentialed school counselor that will depict what
most victims of bullying feel on a regular basis. In addition to bringing awareness to how
students treat each other, engaging in the Kindness Counts curriculum can lead students to
display positive behaviors that will promote kindness and inclusion within the school setting.
Terminology
Agoraphobia: fearful and anxious feelings about two or more of the following situations:
using public transportation; being in open spaces; being in enclosed places; standing in life or
being in a crowd; or being outside of the home alone in other situations (American
Psychiatric Association, 2013).
Authoritarian parenting: parents who are demanding but unresponsive to their child
(Raboteg-Saric & Sakic, 2014).
Authoritative parenting: parents who demanding and responsive to their child (Raboteg-Saric
& Sakic, 2014).
Banker: the girl of the clique who collects information about others and dispenses when
necessary for her own benefit, causing conflict and chaos between girls (Wiseman, 2002).
Bullying: repeated aggressive behavior that is characterized by an imbalance of power
between two people in which the victim cannot defend himself or herself easily for various
(Smith & Brain, 2000).
Clique: group of people who are close friends (Wiseman, 2002).
4
Cyber bullying: online harassing, intimidating, or threatening others by using the Internet or
other electronic communication devices, such as through text messages or sending picture
messages (Urbanski & Permuth, 2009).
Depression: presence of sad, empty, or irritable mood, accompanied by somatic and
cognitive changes that significantly affect the individual’s capacity to function (American
Psychiatric Association, 2013).
Direct Bullying: overt and involves an open attack to a person or property (Urbanski &
Permuth, 2009).
Floater: a girl who does not solely associate with just one clique (Wiseman, 2002).
Generalized Anxiety Disorder: persistent and excessive anxiety and worry about various
domains, including work and school performance that the individuals finds difficult to
control (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
Indirect Bullying: more subtle and covert type of bullying where nonphysical behaviors are
used (Olweus, 1993).
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: psychological theory developed by Abraham Maslow in which
a person’s motivation is driven by needs (Hierarchy of needs. 2011).
Norm: a pattern or trait taken to be typical in the behavior of a social group (Hirsch, 2011).
Panic attack: abrupt surges of intense fear or intense discomfort that reach a peak within
minutes, accompanied by physical and/or cognitive symptoms (American Psychiatric
Association, 2013).
Parenting style: parental attitudes toward the child that are communicated to the child and
form an overall emotional climate of parent–child relationship (Raboteg-Saric & Sakic,
2014).
5
Permissive parenting: parents who are responsive but not demanding (Raboteg-Saric &
Sakic, 2014).
Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger: the girl in a clique who carries out all of the “dirty work” for
the Queen bee to get in her good graces (Wiseman, 2002).
Popularity: false sense of power within the school system (Wiseman, 2002).
Queen bee: the most powerful girl in a clique whose popularity is based on fear and control
(Wiseman, 2002).
Relational aggression: nonphysical behaviors that are intended to damage peer relationships
and social status (Banny, Heilbron, Ames, & Prinstein, 2011).
Self-Esteem: a positive or negative orientation toward oneself; an overall evaluation of one's
worth or value (Chauhan & Rai, 2014).
Sidekick: the girl in a clique who is the closest with the Queen bee, making her second in
command (Wiseman, 2002).
Social emotional learning theory: Theory grounded in Mayer, Salavoy and Goleman’s theory
in which emphasizes a stop in negative behavior to build social behaviors (Domino, 2013).
Target: the victim that girls pick on set up to be humiliated as well as excluded from others
(Wiseman, 2002).
Torn Bystander: the girl in the group that is conflicted with doing the right thing and her
allegiance to the clique (Wiseman, 2002).
Victim: a person who has been attacked, injured, robbed, or killed by someone else (Urbanski
& Permuth, 2009).
6
Summary
In order to create a cohesive, uplifting environment for the students, bullying
prevention programs like Kindness Counts are necessary for the school setting. To
understand how bullying affects young adolescents, it is important to understand the origin of
bullying. In addition to the history of bullying, gaining insight about the prevalence bullying
has on middle school students is essential to prevent bullying behavior at this vital time in a
child’s life. These topics, as well as the lasting affects bullying has on adulthood will be
discussed in the chapter that follows.
7
CHAPTER 2:REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE
In this chapter, bullying will be defined and discussion about the negative
consequences that it has on the preteen and early adolescence years will be reviewed. Next,
there will be a discussion regarding how victims of bullying are not meeting the needs that
Abraham Maslow stated are needed to gain motivation in one’s life (Hierarchy of needs,
2011). Furthermore, social learning theory (SLT) and how the act of bullying can impact
one’s social learning will also be explored in this chapter. Lastly, there will be a discussion
about how bullying has a significant impact on students’ lives when they exit the
kindergarten through grade 12 (K-12) school system and transition into college and
adulthood.
Bullying
Smith and Brian (2000) define bullying as repeated aggressive behavior that is
characterized by an imbalance of power between two people in which the victim cannot
defend himself or herself easily for various reasons such as being physically or emotionally
weaker than the bully. It occurs when a person regularly and deliberately exercises power
over another person with hostile or malicious intent, often on the playground when adults
cannot supervise the children as closely as in the classroom. Bullying is not limited to just
one bully and one victim. In fact, several people in a group who are stronger than the victim
can carry out the act of bullying, for it is a self-reinforcing behavior (2000). If a child
receives positive approval by their peers, they are more likely to continue bullying those
around them (Aluede, Adeleke, Omoike& Afen-Akpaida, 2008).
Urbanski and Permuth (2009) declare that even though bullying is not a new concept
to the school climate, it has gained a lot of interest in the past decade, for bullying can be
8
seen like an infection. They argue that bullying behavior has a chain reaction in the school
setting. Once a student is being bullied, the victim may feel the need to bully other students
who they feel are inferior to them as a coping method. If bullying is not stopped at the initial
source, a school can find many students becoming victims of bullying (Urbanski & Permuth,
2009).
Ages and Trends of Bullying
Bullying is not a new notion in schools, even though it has gained a lot of media
attention recently. In fact, the act of bullying others has been around for many decades,
dating back to the 1960s when it was called “mobbing” (We & Wolke, 2013). It was not
until the 1970s when a Norwegian researcher by the name of Dan Olweus decided to study
this “right of passage”, that a strong interest in this problematic interaction between children
occurred (Aluede et al. 2008).
According to Smith and Brian (2000), it took approximately 10 years for the research
on bullying to gain recognition and the first anti-bullying campaign to be put into practice in
Norway and Sweden. Even though interventions against bullying have been implemented
since the 1980s in the United States, bullying behavior has been increasing on a constant
basis since its discovery. Furthermore, there has been a long history of research on
aggressive behavior in childhood (2000).
As of 2008, Aluede et al. report that there are approximately 2.1 million bullies in
America and 2.7 million victims. Hoover, Oliver and Hazler (1992) surveyed students on
bullying behavior, with 75% of the participants answering in the affirmative when asked if
they had ever been bullied at school. Furthermore, Batsche and Knoff (1994) indicate that 15
to 20% of all students will encounter some type of bullying when enrolled in school. In fact,
9
bullying victims make up approximately two to 12% of the school-aged population while
bullies represent seven to 12% of the population (Mouttapa, Valente, Gallaher, Rohrbach, &
Unger, 2004).
Urbanaski and Permuth (2009) contend that bullying decreases significantly as
students age. They note that the U.S. Department of Justice reported that in 2003, 14% of
sixth graders were bullied, 13% of seventh graders experienced this behavior, 7% of ninth
graders, and 2% of twelfth graders had been bullied. Even though the act of bullying
decreases with age, the type of bullying that students experience either increases or decreases
as they become older (2009). As children mature, Batsche and Knoff (1994) declared they
are less likely to experience direct, physical bullying, such as those portrayed in movies.
However, verbal abuse and aggression tends to increase as students mature (1994).
Age is not only a factor as to what type of bullying a child experiences. Gender also
plays a part in it as well. According to Roeger, Allison, Korossy-Horwood, Eckert and
Goldney (2010), boys report being bullied more often than girls. However, girls tend to be
bullied using more concealed methods. This especially holds true when girls become older.
Thus, it appears that schools should be expected to anticipate bullying to occur at any grade
level and at any age, usually occurring among students that are of the same age group (2010).
As students age, they enter and exit various stages of their lives. Curry and Milsom (2014)
state that Erik Erikson determined there are eight stages that a person travels through out
their life span. Five of the eight stages that a child in K-12 will go through are as follows:
trust versus mistrust, autonomy versus shame, initiative versus guilt, industry versus
inferiority, and identity versus role confusion. Bullying would fall under the identity versus
role confusion stage, which affects students from age 12 to 18 (2014).
10
Types of Bullying
There are two types of bullying: direct bullying and indirect bullying, which also
range from mild to severe as well as being overt to very subtle (Aluede et al. 2008).
Urbanski and Permuth (2009) assert that direct bullying is “overt and involves an open attack
to a person or property,” while indirect bullying is “more subtle and covert” in comparison to
direct bullying (p.35). Unlike direct bullying where students are being physically attacked,
such as being hit or pushed into objects, indirect bullying is a less physical form of
victimization where children are excluded from their peer groups and have problems making
friends (Olweus, 1993).
Smith et al. (2008) note that with the rise of cell phones as well as the Internet,
children in the school system are experiencing more indirect bullying then direct bullying.
There are two types of indirect bullying that are gaining the most recognition in this new
millennium: relational aggression and cyber bullying (2008).
According to Banny, Heilbron, Ames, and Prinstein (2011), relational aggression is
defined as “nonphysical behaviors that are intended to damage peer relationships and social
status” (para 1). This includes teasing, harassment, and name-calling (Aluede et al. 2008).
Smith, Rose and Schwartz Mette (2010) suggest that relational aggression is more socially
valued and tolerated as children transition into adolescence because the relational aggression
behavior that is displayed is connected with popularity and being accepted by their peers. In
schools, Smith, Rose and Schwartz Mette (2010), found that aggressive youth who have
certain characteristics that are valued by their peer groups, such as activeness and a good
sense of humor, are more liked then students who do not posses these qualities.
11
Because pre-teens are exposed to relational aggression bullying, it is perceived as
the normal, typical interaction that the middle schoolers should portray. This behavior can be
observed at the middle school level more often between female students, for they tend to
spread rumors and gossip, as well as ignore, exclude and alienate their peers (Urbanski &
Permuth, 2009). Moreover, verbal bullying is the most common form of bullying between
both sexes. It is the most painful form of bullying as well as the one having the longestlasting impact on a child (Aluede et al. 2008).
Urbanski and Permuth (2009) define cyberbullying as “online harassing, intimidating,
or threatening others by using the Internet or other electronic communication devices, such as
through text messages or sending picture messages” (p. 36). In addition to sending appalling
messages via email, phone calls or text messages, children created hate filled web pages
about their victims. On these websites, personal information is visible for everyone to see,
which is extra damaging to the victim (Aluede et al. 2008).
Smith et al. (2008) contend that cyberbullying is rapidly increasing within the
schools, as cyberbullies are now able to bully their victims inside and outside of school due
to the rise and availability of technology, the invention of smart phones, and social media
applications such as Instagram and Ask FM, where students can access anonymous messages
from their peers.
Description of Bullies
Bullies are people who continuously hurt others on purpose. They usually look for
victims that are smaller, younger and weaker than they are (Aluede et al. 2008). Regardless
of which type of bullying a student uses on his or her victim, the researchers contend that
12
bullies come from similar home environments and have the same personality characteristics
(Aluede et al., 2008).
Aluede, et al. 2008 posits that most bullies tend to be male, popular and often the
athletes of the school. This peer group usually has excellent social skills, especially among
females where manipulation among their peers is prevalent. With the exceptional
interpersonal social skills, bullies can magnetize many followers and can easily manipulate
those around them. They are psychologically strong as well as very popular not only among
the entire student body, but also within their peer group, which is important to boost their
self-esteem. Furthermore, bullies can come across as very likable to adults, in which they
can easily appeal to the authority figure and make them believe that they would do no such
harm. Due to their charming nature, adults are less likely to suspect a bully of carrying out
violent behaviors among their peers (Aluede et al. 2008).
Parenting Styles and Bullying
The environment that a bully grows up in has a very powerful impact on his or her
behavior. Parenting styles, or what Salkin (2005) calls “parental attitudes towards the child
that are communicated to the child and form an overall emotional climate of the parent-child
relationship” (p. 145) have a direct impact on how a child’s personality is shaped (RabotegSaric & Sakic, 2014). According to Salkind (2005) there are four parenting styles that
parents exhibit: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.
Salkind (2005) postulates that authoritative parents are parents who are demanding
but responsive at the same time. They are supportive and affectionate with their children.
These types of parents are clear with what behaviors are and are not acceptable and provide a
reason or reasons to their children when disciplining them (2005). Authoritative parenting
13
styles have constantly proven to be the most beneficial parenting style to the child. The child
of an authoritative parent is psychologically better adjusted and more competent than his or
her peers (Raboteg-Saric & Sakic, 2014). Authoritative parents produce children who are
associated with greater life satisfaction, greater optimism and hope, higher self-esteem and
internal locus of control, as well as greater happiness (2014).
According to Salkind (2005), authoritarian parents are strict and demanding. They
are rarely accepting and responsive with their children, for they lack flexibility and
discussion. These types of parents expect and value full obedience from their children.
There are clear and strict rules that limit the child’s freedom and these parents often enforce
harsh punishments for breaking them. Authoritarian parents produce children who will
perform well in school and are not a behavior problem (2005). However, these students tend
to have lower self-esteem, poorer social skills, and report higher levels of depression
(Raboteg-Saric & Sakic, 2014).
Permissive parents are defined by Salkind (2005) to be the opposite of authoritarian
parents. Permissive parents are highly accepting but they lack supervision. They tend to let
their children make their own decisions while providing little directions and boundaries.
There is typically little discipline and if there is discipline, it is inconsistent. This type of
parenting style resembles more of a “friendship” between the child and the parent with little
authority from the parent (2005). These students perform poorly in school and are more
likely to have behavior problems. However, students from permissive parents tend to have
higher-self esteem than students who come from neglectful parents. They have better social
skills and report lower levels of depression (Raboteg-Saric & Sakic, 2014).
14
Lastly, Salkind (2005) believes that neglectful parenting occurs when a parent fails to
provide support or supervision to their child. There are low levels of warmth and support
from the parents who practice neglectful parenting styles. Children who have neglectful
parents have poor emotional self-regulation. These students have difficulties in school and
are more likely to be depressed (2005). According to Hibbard and Walton (2014), some
children may even have suicidal tendencies.
Bullies frequently live in a home where their parents have an authoritarian,
sometimes hostile and/or rejecting, parenting style where the adults prefer physical means of
discipline rather then the use of their words. If the parents do not exhibit an authoritarian
parenting style, the parents may display an inconsistent parenting style or provide very little
supervision (Batsche & Knoff, 1994). In addition to the parenting styles that the parents may
present, parents of bullies often have poor problem solving skills. These parents may also
teach their child to use physical force when provoked and angered instead of their words to
solve everyday challenges (1994).
There is a link between the parenting styles and the characteristics that a child
produces based on these styles. However, bullies also encompass familiar personality traits
that make them more likely to bully others. Olweus (1991) proclaims that those who bully
others are usually impulsive with the urgency to dominate others. The children who become
bullies also tend to be unempathetic towards others, especially to their victims.
Furthermore, bullies are driven by impulses. They feel the need to control others, thus
creating a hostile environment for the victim (Aluede et al. 2008).
The peers with whom a bully associates with and spends their time with also impacts
their bullying behavior. Urbanski and Permuth (2009) explain that children who have friends
15
that encourage bullying behavior, by either having a positive attitude towards violence or are
exposed to violent behavior themselves, are more likely to encourage the negative bullying
behavior. This creates an environment in which the bullying behavior is more likely to be
the norm within a group of friends. In addition to creating a behavior norm within a group of
friends by encouraging bullying behaviors, peers are more likely to engage in the horrid
behavior if they feel the need to fit in with their companions (Hirsch, 2011).
There are common characteristics that bullies share. However, Aluede et. al. (2008)
states that there are three types of categories that bullies can fall under: aggressive, anxious
and passive. Aggressive bullies are the easiest type of bully to identify, for most bullies
would fall under this grouping. Bullies who fall under the aggressive section are insensitive,
domineering and lack self control. Just because they lack self-control does not mean they
lack self-esteem. In fact, aggressive bullies encompass extremely high self-esteem.
Furthermore, aggressive bullies are not just aggressive towards their victims. They are
aggressive towards everyone that comes in contact with them, which makes them one of the
easiest forms of bullies to identify (2008)
Anxious bullies lack the self-esteem that aggressive bullies have. Anxious bullies
tend to have similar characteristics as the victims that they are bullying. Anxious bullies are
likely to have low self-esteem, insecurities and loneliness. They are usually emotionally
unstable and confrontational, which increases the likeliness that anxious bullies will become
victims themselves (Aluede et al. 2008).
Lastly, passive bullies are bullies who tend to go along with their peer group. These
bullies engage in bullying activities in order to protect their status within their group of
friends or help achieve status from their peers. Passive bullies are easily dominated by others
16
and tend to be the followers within a group of peers. They are more sensitive to the act of
bullying compared to aggressive and anxious bullies and are more likely to be affected by the
act. However, being more emotionally unstable to handle the cruel act of bullying, passive
bullies do not do anything to stop their peers from bullying others and would be reluctant in
participating in the act of bullying (Aluede et al. 2008).
Isomaa, Vaananen, Frojd, Kaltiala-Heino, and Marttunen (2013) define self-esteem as
a positive or negative attitude towards oneself that plays an important part in one’s selfimage, which is a characteristic found in aggressive and anxious bullies. Self-esteem
involves a person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors. There are two types of self-esteem that
a person can exhibit: high and low. High self-esteem is when a person feels great about
himself or herself. High feelings of self-worth and self-respect are associated with high selfesteem. In contrast, low self-esteem is when a person feels as if he or she is not adequate
enough. Feelings of dissatisfaction, as well as rejection to one’s self, are linked to low selfesteem. Self-esteem helps a person function in a system of interactions between self-esteem,
behavior and social environment. Those with high self-esteem benefit with pleasant feelings,
which may lead to an enhanced quality in life, whereas those with low self-esteem may
believe that their life is somewhat, disappointing (Isomaa et al., 2013). The type of self
esteem a person has, whether it is positive or negative, greatly influences the type of bullying
behavior a student may exhibit.
Characterization of Bullying Victims
Urbanski & Permuth (2009) define the victim as a person who is constantly exposed
to negative behaviors and actions caused by his or her peers. The interactions that victims
experience at school can be verbal, physical or even psychological abuse on a daily basis.
17
Like bullies, victims also have common characteristics that make them targets with a
propensity to get bullied. Adams and Lawrence (2011) suggest that those who are already
struggling to make a connection with their peers are more likely to be bullied than students
who “fit in” and can interact with their classmates without seeming “awkward”. Their
personality may come off very strong or offensive, which, may anger their peers. In turn,
their classmates may feel it is acceptable to bully those who angered them, because students
at this age are in Erik Erikson’s developmental stage of identity versus role confusion
(Adams & Lawrence 2011). During the identity versus role confusion stage, students see
themselves through a “third-party” perspective and evaluate their social status based on their
interactions with their peers, which can cause bullying among students of this age group
(Curry & Milsom, 2014). Unlike bullies, there are two types of victims that have been
established: passive and provocative victims (Olweus, 1978).
According to Urbanski and Permuth (2009) those who are categorized as passive
victims are described as anxious and insecure. These children appear to be shy, cautious, and
withdrawn. Within groups, passive victims have trouble being assertive and letting their
voice be heard (Olweus, 1978). These victims usually do not do anything to aggravate the
bully, as they internalize their problems and show little actions to defend themselves.
Passive victims typically withdraw themselves from the bully and allow themselves to be
consistently bullied (1978). These children frequently do not have any friends at school, and
may feel lonely and deserted. As a result of feeling lonely and deserted, passive victims tend
to interact with adults more often then children their age (Urbanski & Permuth, 2009). Due
to the lack of peer interactions, passive victims are not aggressive and do not tease other
children. In addition to the similar personality traits, passive victims seem to have
18
comparable physical characteristics to each other. These children are bullied on a daily basis
due to their small stature. Passive victims are physically smaller and weaker than their
bullies, which makes them an easier target of being a victim (Olweus, 1978). However,
victimization is normally unrelated to most physical characteristics in children except for
strength (Batsche & Knoff, 1994). Weaker children were more likely to be victims where as
the bullies were more likely to be physically stronger than their victims. No other physical
characteristics were associated with being a victim and Batsche and Knoff (1994) concluded
that weight, hair color, and the way students dressed did not make them any more likely to be
victims over other students.
Dissimilar to the passive victims, provocative victims, according to Urbanski and
Permuth (2009), tend to have the opposite characteristics of passive victims. Provocative
victims are hot-tempered, restless and anxious, for they have difficulty reading social cues.
These children are more likely to start a fight with the bully. However, they are frequently
unsuccessful. The feeling of needing to start a physical confrontation with another person is
due to the fact that these students tend to be pushy, argumentative and disruptive.
Furthermore, provocative victims tend to be un-liked by their peers and the adults that
surround them, for they behave in ways that may cause tension and irritation to those around
them (2009).
Provocative victims develop these negative characteristics based on the parenting
style that they grew up with. Permissive parenting styles are more likely to produce children
who are have a higher chance of engaging in problem behavior, such as a physical
confrontation, which is found in provocative victims (Raboteg-Saric & Sakic, 2014).
19
Provocative victims are likely to exhibit a combination of anxious and aggressive
reaction patterns (Olweus, 1993). These students often have difficulty concentrating and
tend to be hyperactive. Children who fall under the provocative victims description are more
likely to be depressed and have poorer self-esteem than passive victims. Lastly, provocative
victims have behaviors that provoke other students, which results in a negative reaction from
their classmates. The off-putting reaction contributes to the negative image students have of
these victims (Olweus, 1993).
Popularity and Cliques
Popularity within the school system can be seen as a false sense of power (Wiseman,
2002). Both males and females gain and lose popularity, but for girls, popularity has more of
an influence on them. This is due to the fact that many girls believe that popularity is
magical. Popularity is associated with power and status among peers (Ojanen, & FindleyVan Nostrand, 2014). To students, popularity is positively related to prosocial behaviors and
positive aggression (2014). These students are under the impression that once they achieve
popularity, all of their problems will disappear.
According to Wiseman (2002), there are four types of girls that seek out popularity.
The most extreme cases are the girls who become obsessed with the idea of gaining
popularity. These girls track the shifts of popularity like the weather and are constantly
updating each other about it. On the other end of the spectrum, there are some girls who
completely dismiss the illusion of power, thinking it is completely ridiculous. The other two
types of girls seeking out popularity fall between the two extremes stated previously. The
first type of girl may be angry about the reputation she has received from her peers and state
that she does not care about popularity. In actuality, these types girls really are concerned
20
about popularity. The last type of girl is one who feel that gaining any sort of popularity is so
out of reach that she just give up hope in obtaining it (Wiseman, 2002).
Wiseman (2002) asserts that there are two types of popularity found within schools:
good popular and evil popular. Good popular is characterized by a student who is genuinely
liked because he or she is a nice to others. These students help those in need because they
know that it is the morally right thing to do. Evil popularity is the complete opposite of good
popularity. Girls who are considered evil popular are those who are mean to others and are
feared by their peers. This type of popularity is highly portrayed in movies where the most
popular girls “rule” the school (Wiseman, 2002).
Wiseman (2002) contends that cliques and popularity have an enormous influence on
what type of child gets bullied in a school. A clique is an exclusive group of teens, more
often than not made up for the same gender, who are close friends. Within a clique there is
regularly a leader, which unquestioned loyalty and an “us versus the world mentality” is
established. This mentality of “us versus the world” is needed from the other group members
in order to achieve group unity. Cliques are natural and can be found during a child’s
kindergarten through twelfth grade schooling. However, cliques are the most influential and
the most problematic within the sixth, seventh, and eighth grade; middle school years. This
holds especially true for female students (2002).
According to Wiseman (2002), the following passages are descriptions of the types of
children that make up a clique: the queen bee, the sidekick, the banker, the floater, the torn
bystander, the pleasure/wannabe/messenger, and the target. It is important to remember that
every student in a school setting is categorized in one of these groups. These groups are fluid
21
and ever changing based on the interactions between the students, which has a big influence
on whether a student is bullied on a regular basis (Wiseman, 2002).
The queen bee. According to Wiseman (2002), the queen bee is a girl whose
popularity is based on fear and control. This type of girl has money, charisma, will and
force, as well as looks and manipulation, to control other girls and weaken their friendships
with their peers. This strengthens the power and influence that the queen bee has over her
friends. The queen bee has girls who will do whatever she asks and is not intimidated by
other girls at school (2002).
This type of girl can persuade her peers to do just about anything she asks them to do.
queen bees tend to be charming when interacting with adults but will not take responsibility
when confronted about hurting a person’s feelings. These girls know how to make other girls
in her clique feel special by showing them affection, by declaring them as her “special
friend.” However, most of the time, the queen bee is praising another member of the clique
to demonstrate the rejection of another member found within the clique and pinning the two
members against each other. Lastly, queen bees feel the need to seek revenge if wronged.
These types of girls have an eye-for-an-eye mentality and will do anything in their power to
ensure that their revenge is completed. Even though the queen bee may feel as if her life is
spiraling out of control, the reputation of having everything and everyone under control
keeps her from seeking the help that she may need (Wiseman, 2002).
Girls who are the queen bees of a clique tend to feel empowered and in control over
their environment. They are the center of attention and other students tend to worship to her.
However, queen bees tend to lose their sense of identity. The queen bee is extremely caught
up in maintaining the perceived image of herself that the she loses her true self in the process.
22
The queen bee also tends to be extremely cynical, believing that her friends, both boys and
girls, are using her for her popularity rather than her friendship. In fact, this doubtful belief
affects the type of intimate relationships she makes throughout school. Queen bees are
vulnerable to be in relationships with others where her image is depended on the relationship
(Wiseman, 2002).
The sidekick. Wiseman (2002) asserts that the sidekick of a clique is the girl who is
the closest with the queen bee, making her second in command. The sidekick will support
the queen bee through thick or thin for her reputation, status and power depend on the
relationship she has formed with the queen bee. Girls in cliques tend to dress similar to each
other. However, the sidekick will tend to dress the most identical to the queen bee as well as
emulate the same mannerisms as her. This helps an outside person differentiate the sidekick
from the other members of the clique (Wiseman, 2002).
Sidekicks tend to not think for themselves. The queen bees frequently tell the
sidekicks what to do, how to act, and how to dress on a regular basis. Furthermore, the
sidekick has an us-against-the-world mentality like the queen bee, believing that it is just her
and the queen bee who run the cliques and sees every one else as a wannabe (Wiseman,
2002).
The sidekick has similar characteristics to the queen bee. Just like the queen bee, the
sidekick frequently bullies and silences the other girls to gain personal achievement. Even
though the sidekick has some of the same traits as the queen bee, the sidekick can alter her
behavior for the better if separated from the queen bee, whereas the queen bee would just
obtain another sidekick (Wiseman, 2002).
23
Girls who find themselves in the sidekick position within a group gain a sense of
power over the other girls, excluding the queen bee. The sidekick also acquires a best friend
in the queen bee, who makes her feel popular and included. However, sidekicks lose the
right to express their personal opinions when in this position. With the queen bee telling her
how to run her life, the sidekick has very little opportunity to voice her viewpoints. If the
sidekick interacts with the queen bee for too long, the sidekick may forget her true self
entirely, adapting the opinions and viewpoints of the Queen bee (Wiseman, 2002).
The banker. Wiseman (2002) points out that the banker is the girl of the clique who
collects information about others and dispenses it when necessary for her own benefit,
causing conflict and chaos between girls. By causing rivalry between others, the banker
strengthens her status by gaining a reputation as someone who is very knowledgeable about
what is happening between others in school. The banker can get other girls to trust her and
devolve their personal information to her because the banker does not make pumping
information a negative experience. The banker approaches the situation very innocently, as a
friend-to-friend conversation, which is not seen as being gossipy to the others (Wiseman,
2002).
Bankers are almost as powerful as queen bees. But unlike queen bees, bankers fly
under the adult’s radars. These type of girls are usually quire and withdrawn from adults.
They can be physically immature in comparison to their friends and seem cute and harmless
to others. Bankers tend to be extremely secretive and think in complex strategic ways. From
the outside looking in, it may appear that bankers are friends with just about everyone and
even some girls will treat the banker as their pet. As a result of the numerous friends that she
has, the banker is rarely, if ever, excluded from the group. Bankers usually are the reason as
24
to why two girls will be in a fight, but they are rarely the subjects of these fights (Wiseman,
2002).
By being the banker, girls in this position gain power and security. To other girls, the
banker seems harmless, yet everyone is afraid of her because of the destruction that she can
cause with the information that she has acquired. Bankers also have a lack of trust with other
girls once they discovered that she has done. Even though they may not trust the banker once
her sneaky ways have been exposed, girls feel as if they cannot kick her out of the group, for
she has secretes about each girl in the clique that the members are afraid of getting out
(Wiseman, 2002).
The floater. According to Wiseman (2002), the floater is a girl who does not solely
associate with just one clique. This type of girl has friends in different cliques and can move
freely from clique to clique. These types of friends can range from jocks to kids in the band
and even friends from her own neighborhood, spanning from childhood friends to friends
she’s met at school. The floater typically has characteristics that protect her from the cruelty
of other girls. For example, floaters may be pretty but not the prettiest girl in the school.
They may be nice but not too kind where they are completely excluded from typical teen
drama (Wiseman, 2002).
Floaters have higher self-esteem than the other girls found in the clique. This is due
to the fact that the floater does not need the reassurance of others in the group to determine
her self-worth. Floaters are genuinely nice to everyone. They want to include everyone and
are not ruled by the meanness that some of the other members enforce. The kindness the
floater shares with others has resulted in other girls respecting her at school. In fact, the
floater’s genuine interactions with others make her friends feel comfortable around her. The
25
floater’s friends do not feel intimidated by her, for she does not feel the need to be the center
of attention (Wiseman, 2002).
By being a floater, girls who are in this position gain many positive qualities and no
negative characteristics. By being a floater, a girl’s peers like her for the person that she is.
She is more likely to stay true to her self and not be influenced by others at school to gain
social status. In fact, floaters are the ones who usually stand up to the queen bee (Wiseman).
The torn bystander. Wiseman (2002) notes that the torn bystander is the girl in the
group that is conflicted with doing the right thing and her allegiance to the clique. Because
of her conflicting morals, the bystander is most likely to be found in the middle of a conflict
between two girls within a group or two entirely separate groups.
The pleaser/wannabe/messenger. Wiseman (2002) contends that most girls in the
world are pleasers and wannabes. However, some girls are better at concealing these
character traits better than others. Girls who find themselves as the pleaser/wannabe of a
clique, or those trying to join a specific clique, will do anything to get into the good graces of
the queen bee and the sidekick. This includes impersonating their clothes, sense of style, and
even type of speech. Furthermore, pleasers, and wannabes will back up the queen bee and
sidekick in whatever activities they decide to engage in. By imitating the most powerful girls
in the group as well as trying to please them, the pleaser/wannabe believes that this will
increase her position within the clique, or even allow her access into the group (Wiseman,
2002).
As the pleaser/wannabe/messenger of the group, it is this girl’s duty to carry out all of
the “dirty work” of the queen bee. This includes, but not limited to, spreading false rumors
and gossip about different students. Pleasers/wannabes/messengers find that by carrying out
26
this nasty behavior for the queen bee, they feel important, for the pleaser/wannabe/messenger
can be easily removed from the clique. Even though the pleaser/wannabe/messenger may
feel important and is contributing to the group, the queen bee and the rest of the clique tend
to talk poorly about this girl behind her back, indicating that she is only needed to carry out
tasks that are undesirable for the clique (Wiseman, 2002).
As a result of being in a position that is not necessarily needed, this type of girl
tends to find drama and instigate fights among different girls to stay within the clique. The
pleaser/wannabe/messenger is usually the go to girl to convey information between two
friends who are fighting with each other. As a result of being the messenger between two
girls, the pleaser/wannabe/messenger is sought to be a very important member of the clique,
thus insuring her position within it as the time being (Wiseman, 2002).
Pleasers/wannabes/messengers tend to be girls who are swayed by others’ opinions.
This type of girl believes that the thoughts from others are more important than her owns.
These thoughts, as well as her sense of style, the way she dresses and her opinions on friends
are constantly changing with what is the consensus of the clique. The opinion of the group
becomes so important to the pleaser/wannabe/messenger that it cannot be differentiated from
her own wants and desires. This will go so far in that the pleaser/wannabe/messenger will
stop doing what she likes to do, for she believes that her choices will disappoint the clique,
thus jeopardizing her position in the group (Wiseman, 2002).
Pleaser/wannabes/messengers love to gossip. They constantly need a form of
communication with them, whether it is a phone or the computer, to interact with others. By
being a please/wannabe/messenger, the girl obtains a sense of belonging.
Pleasers/wannabes/messengers are in the middle of the conflict and has power over other
27
girls in the form of gossip. By having power over others creates the false sense of being
needed which what is being conveyed by the clique (Wiseman, 2002).
Even though the pleaser/wannabe/messenger gains a sense of belonging, she looses
her authenticity to herself. She has not figured out whom or what she values, for she is
influenced by what the clique believes is “in” at the moment. Additionally, the
pleaser/wannabe/messenger develops an insecure feeling about her friends. The thought of
the clique actually being the pleaser/wannabe/messenger’s friends or just using her for the
information that is gained constantly lingers in her head. Lastly, the
pleaser/wannabe/messenger develops a poor sense of communication. By constantly starting
conflict with others, this type of girl does not learn how to affectively interact with her peers
as well as adults in her life (Wiseman, 2002).
The target. The target, according to Wiseman (2002), is the victim that girls pick on.
The target is typically set up to be humiliated and excluded from others. Targets are seen as
girls who challenge the clique’s norm. This can include things that are very materialistic,
such as style and sense of dress, or it can be literal, such as a girl’s behavior towards the
group or anything that is out of the expected norms of the clique. Targets are usually girls
who are outside of a given clique, however that is not always the case. Members of the
clique can also target girls within the clique (Wiseman, 2002).
Within a clique there is an unspoken hierarchy that the girls follow. When members
of the clique challenges someone higher on the social totem pole, such as the queen bee or
the sidekick, that person will become the target, keeping her aware of her status within the
group (Wiseman, 2002).
28
Targets in a clique tend to feel as if they have no allies within the group. They
constantly feel left out because they are regularly picked on and no one will stand up for
them. The consistent bullying that targets feel leads to feelings of isolation and hopelessness.
Furthermore, girls will mask the hurt that they are experiencing by rejecting people, stating
that they do not like anyone (Wiseman, 2002).
Being the target may seem problematic, however, there are a handful of positive
characteristics that girls gain by being in this position. Girls who are the targets are more
likely to gain empathy and understanding for others who are bullied. Additionally, targets
learn about objectivity. They gain the understanding of what it takes to fit in and are more
likely to be true to themselves rather than assimilating to the norms of a clique (Wiseman,
2002).
Every person involved in a clique is vital to how it operates. The queen bees and
sidekicks tend to run the cliques. These two girls are often are the ones who feed the idea of
who should and should not be bullied within a school while the floater,
pleasers/wannabes/messengers and bankers actually set the bullying in motion (Wiseman,
2002). Even though bullying tends to happen outside of cliques, it is not uncommon to have
bullying within them. The queen bees need to make sure that the members of the cliques are
loyal to her and the “friendship” she provides, thus creating a bully/victim scenario within
the group of so called friends (Wiseman, 2002).
Benefits of Cliques. Cliques are great assets for children to have in school. Teens
can share secrets with those they trust and can be themselves and act silly. Furthermore,
cliques provide children with a support system at school (Wiseman, 2002). Cliques offer
students with many benefits and only become problematic within the school system when
29
popularity is introduced. Cliques are sophisticated, complex, and multi-layered, and every
girl has a designated position to fill within the group (Wiseman, 2002). Roles within the
clique are not static and are ever changing especially in middle school where girls move up
and down the popularity scale. As discussed in previous pages, there are seven titles that a
girl can obtain throughout school: Queen bee, Sidekick, Banker, Floater, Torn Bystander,
Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger and Target (Wiseman , 2002).
Consequences of Bullying
According to Adams and Lawrence (2011) bullying has a significant long-term as
well as short-term impact on children who bully others and those who are bullied.
Surprisingly, children who are bullied often do not seek help in this matter. In fact, only 24%
of those victimized seek out mental health care. Victims of bullying who do not seek out
professional help are at an increased risk of developing serious psychological problems as
they age (Elledge, Cavell, Ogle, Malcolm, Newgent & Faith, 2010). Students who are
bullied in either elementary or middle school have difficulties adjusting to a new school
because they are fearful of the peer interactions that they may encounter at the new school.
This interaction may be positive or negative. The victims go to school with the fear of
taunting, harassment, and humiliation everyday that they step onto school grounds (Adams &
Lawrence, 2011).
Absentee rates are also higher among those that are consistently bullied compared to
those who are not bullied. In fact, 31% of girls and 16% of boys report being absent from
school to avoid being victimized on a regular basis (Aluede et al. 2008). Furthermore, these
children are more likely to drop out of school compared to students who do not experience
bullying in the school setting (Adams & Lawrence, 2011).
30
Consequences of bullying on the individual. Those who harm others, either
physically or mentally, are more likely to be involved in anti-social activities and develop a
criminal record. According to Urbanski and Permuth (2009), the act of bullying endangers a
child’s social and emotional development. Bullying behavior can give students the short
burst of satisfaction that one might gain when they achieve a short-term goal. Moreover,
children who bully are at a higher risk for substance and alcohol abuse, dropping out of
school, as well as developing anti-social personality disorders (Urbanski & Permuth 2009).
Urbanski and Permuth (2009) also state that victims have an increased chance of
developing negative personality traits. Those who are bullied are more likely to acquire
lower self-esteem, depression, insecurities, loneliness, unhappiness, and anxiety. All of
these characteristics were acknowledged in Lee Hirsch’s 2011 documentary entitled, Bully,
where one of its stars was visibly upset throughout the movie and never stood up for himself.
The 12-year old victim even becomes immune to the violent behavior that he endures on a
regular basis and does not realize how appalling and dehumanizing it is, even after his
parents point out the horrendous behavior the bullies at school inflict on him (Hirsch, 2011).
According to Aluede et al. (2008), 26% of girls who were repeatedly bullied reported
being depressed compared to the eight percent of girls who were not bullied on a regularly
basis. Boys who were bullied had very similar results as the girls did. Sixteen percent of
boys who were bullied reported depression against the three percent that were not bullied
daily (2008).
Social-emotional learning theory of the individual. According to Domino (2013),
the social-emotional learning theory is a theory grounded in Mayer and Salavory’s work on
emotional intelligence as well as Goleman’s theories of emotional and social intelligence. It
31
is a process used to change behaviors and stop negative behaviors by building social
competencies. The social competencies that are developed are self-awareness, socialawareness, self-management relational skills, and decision-making (Domino, 2013). There is
a link to significant improvements in interpersonal relationships, conduct problems, social
skills, emotional distress as well as substance abuse and aggression when social and
emotional competencies are improved (Domino, 2013).
Based on social-emotional learning theory, children learn how to understand,
recognize and manage their emotions through positive relationships and interactions. When
students do not have these positive relationships in their lives and live in fear, they are more
likely going to develop the negative characteristics mentioned above, such as lower selfworth and depression (Aluede et al. 2008). Children who are bullied can also lose focus on
learning in addition to the valuable life skills such as problem solving, whether it is
academically or socially, or even in a realistic manner (2008).
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and bullying on an individual. According to
Urbanski and Permuth (2009), students who are victims at their school tend to experience
higher levels of stress compared to their peers. This can have a negative impact on student’s
academic performance. Abraham Maslow established a psychological theory in which he
describes that a person’s motivation is based on if their needs are met on a daily basis.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (2011) is set up as a pyramid, in which each section of
the pyramid is dependent on the section that comes before it. There are five sections of the
pyramid: 1) physiological needs that are needed for survival such as food and water, 2)
safety, 3) love and belonging, 4) esteem, and 5) self-actualization. At the base of the
pyramid are more basic needs and the more sophisticated needs are towards the top. As more
32
basic human needs are met, a foundation is formed for the higher needs to be satisfied.
Based on Maslow’s hierarchy, basic needs such as hunger and shelter take priority over
things such as self-esteem. When basic needs are threatened, people who function at the
higher levels of the pyramid regress to lower levels of the pyramid to meet the needs that are
in danger (Hierarchy of needs, 2011).
Urbanski and Permuth (2009) note that Maslow’s theory stressed that every person
needs, security, freedom from fear, anxiety and chaos, along with protection from harm. If
others are bullying a student in school, then this disrupts the requirements that Maslow stated
that are necessary to function. As a result of not fulfilling these necessities, the student is
now focused on restoring his or her humanistic needs rather than external factors such as
school. The affects of focusing on basic human needs are that academics tend to suffer in
trying to get back to an equilibrium state (2009).
Besides affecting emotional development and disrupting a child’s academics, bullying
can lead to very serious, irreversible consequences, such as possible suicide. Eight percent of
girls and 4% of boys have reported that they are more likely to commit suicide compared to
the one percent overall of non-victims of bullying (Aluede et al. 2008).
When a child is continuously bullied, the student develops lower self-esteem, which
is based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. With the lack of self-esteem, the child is more
vulnerable to being constantly bullied, for he or she may feel as if he or she cannot do
anything to stop the steady physical or physiological abuse. This in turn, creates a sense of
helplessness in the student, which can result in violent acts towards others or to even him or
herself, which is portrayed in Bully (Hirsch, 2011).
33
In another segment of the movie, a 14-year-old girl brings her mother’s gun on
board a school bus to create fear in the bullies that belittled her. Even though the victim did
not intend to hurt anyone, she faced a total of 45 felony charges just by trying to inflict fear
into the bullies to try to stop their bullying behavior (Hirsch, 2011).
According to Urbanski and Permuth (2009), when students reach the bottom of this
downward spiral and feel as if they cannot do anything to prevent the bullying, they may
attempt suicide or violence against others. These students feel hopeless and have lost the
courage to fight the never-ending battle of bullying. They may feel as if they have taken as
much harassment as they possibly can and believe that ending their lives is the best way to
escape from the bullying (2009).
Affects of bullying on the bully. Victims are not the only ones who can develop
devastating effects of bullying. Aluede et al. report that 46% of bullies are likely to be
injured by their victims while 16% are not. Due to this alarming statistic, bullies are more
likely to carry some sort of weapon with them onto school grounds. If truth were told, 43%
of bullies carry some sort of protection to school at least once a week to defend him or
herself. This is an alarming number compared to the 8% who reported not carrying a weapon
onto campus (2008).
Furthermore, Aluede et al. (2008) posit that bullying others can lead to physical,
academic, social and psychological problems for the child. First off, bullies can develop
physical symptoms such as migraines, headaches, panic attacks, sweating and shaking,
irritable bowel syndrome, joint and muscle pains and skin problems such as but not limited to
eczema, athlete’s foot, ulcers. Bullies tend to get sick more frequently, for their immune
system tends to be weaker than those who do not bully others. Lastly, bullies are not able to
34
develop lasting friendships, which often make them anti-social. As a result of being antisocial, bullying can lead to other criminal activates and land these children into juvenile hall
(Aluede et al. 2008).
Bullying and Adulthood
Not only does bullying have an immediate impact on children but also it has lasting
affects into adulthood because bullying behavior can happen in several settings in adult life,
such as the workplace. In fact, 20% of adults recall experiencing distressing bullying in their
childhood (Roeger et al. 2010). While many people believe that children will outgrow
bullying, We and Wolke (2013) contend that it is a myth. Children who are bullied in school
and those that do the act of bullying are at risk for psychiatric problems in adulthood when
compared to students who did not have any history of being bullied (2013).
We and Wolke (2013) indicated that victims of bullies were four to five times more
likely to experience psychiatric disorders, such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic
disorders, and agoraphobia, as well as other anxiety disorders in their adult life. Anxiety
disorders share the commonality of excessive fear, anxiety, and related behavioral
disturbances, but differ from each other based on the type of object or situation that educes
the fear (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
According to the American Psychiatric Association (2013), panic attacks are
unexpected feelings of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within a couple of
minutes. A person could experience feelings of sweating, trembling, shaking, and chest pain,
as well as a hand full of other symptoms. For a student to be diagnosed with Panic Disorder,
the attacks have to have been followed by at least one of the following conditions: persistent
concern about additional attacks, significant unusual change in behavior related to the
35
attacks, the panic attack is not caused by any previously known medical condition or use of
medication or drugs, or the attack is not better explained by another mental disorder
(American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
The American Psychiatric Association (2013) points out that agoraphobia is
diagnosed if a person has at least two of the following five criteria which include using
public transportation, being in open spaces such as parking lots or bridges, being in enclosed
places, standing in line or being in a crowd, and/or being outside of the home alone (2013).
Just like panic attacks, agoraphobia produces a sense of fear in the person but what causes
the fear is based on something entirely different than the attacks. The source of the
agoraphobia is the external environment that a person endures (2013).
We and Wolke (2013) state that children who already have emotional troubles, such
as generalized anxiety order, panic attacks and agoraphobia will continue to experience these
emotional problems into adulthood if they are bullied in school. However, children who do
not have existing problems before being bullied are more likely to develop emotional
problems and be at risk for emotional disorders later in life if they were to be bullied in
school.
Takizawa, Maughan, and Arseneault (2014) conducted a longitudinal study that
followed a cohort of 7,771 participants who reported being exposed to bullying at ages seven
to 11. A follow up evaluation was later conducted when the participants were between the
ages of 23 and 50 to determine if there were any significant affects of childhood bullying on
the participants’ outlook on life. Takizawa et al. (2014) found that being bullied in childhood
was associated with poor mental, physical, and cognitive health outcomes that last until at
least middle adulthood. Forty years after being exposed to bullying, participants in the study
36
continued to show persistent and prevalent negative consequences in their lives. In fact,
being victims of bullying survived the test of time.
Takizawa et al. (2014) also found that being bullied was associated with higher
levels of psychological distress at ages 23 and 50. There was also an increase of depression,
suicide, and anxiety disorders at age 45. Results also established the fact that children who
were bullied had poor general health at ages 23 and 50 and poor cogitative functioning at 50
(2014).
Furthermore, in Takizawa et al.’s study (2014), the participants had lower educational
levels in their midlives and were more likely to be unemployed and earn less than their peers.
An increase of living alone without a peer or partner at age 50, less likely to have socialized
with peers in recent past, and less likely to have social support when the participants were
sick were all results of being bullied in their younger years. Lastly, participants of the study
had a lower perceived quality of life at age 50 and lower overall satisfaction of life up to that
point. In addition to believing their life quality was lower, participants anticipated that the
poor life quality they had experienced would continue on in the future (Takizawa et al.,
2014).
Echoing the same ideas that Takizawa et al., addressed We and Wolke (2013) agree
that not only are children who are bullied at risk for having lasting negative problems, but
those who bully others are susceptible to such issues. Bullies are five times more likely to
develop depression, 10 times more likely to think, plan and/or commit suicide and 14 times
more likely to develop panic disorders than students who do not bully others (We & Wolke,
2013). There is a strong association between having a history of bullying and psychological
37
issues. As a matter of fact, school bullying is an extremely important predictor of increased
suicidal ideations into adulthood (Roeger et al. 2010).
According to Copeland, Wolke, Angold, and Costello (2013), bullies themselves are
at risk for developing antisocial personality disorders when they reach adulthood, as well as
disruptive behavior disorder and/or family hardships. Gender also plays a factor in which
disorders bullies will most presumably develop when they get older. Copeland et al. (2013)
found that female bullies and victim are more prone to develop agoraphobia in early
adulthood than their male counterpart. Females were also more likely to think about suicide,
however males were more likely to attempt suicide (2013).
Bullying has a severe impact on how young adults form relationships as well. Adams
and Lawrence (2011) found that those who were bullied in high school and/or middle school
continued to be bullied when they entered college. Many of the bullying actions seen in
college are very similar to those found in the secondary schools. These behaviors include
name-calling, being excluded from events and being physically abused. In fact, college
students who were bullied earlier in life find it harder to make friends and feel isolated
compared to their peers. These young adults feel lonely and alienated, as if no one will listen
to them, much like those who were victims in middle school. These bullying victims also
report that they do not have the skills to stand up and fight back to those who taunt them
while in college (2011).
Contrary to belief, these symptoms do not go away. The feeling of isolation and loss
of self-esteem that students experienced in their preschool through twelfth grade schooling
carries on into adulthood (Aluede et al. 2008).
38
In addition to feelings of isolation and low self-esteem, findings suggest that being
bullied in childhood is associated with external aggressive behavior found in adults, which
correlate with the length of time a child was bullied. Those who were bullied for a longer
period of time in their childhood were associated with a larger number of external aggressive
behaviors. These behaviors include hitting walls, breaking objects, and getting into physical
fights as well as becoming violent with a romantic partner (Sansone, Leung, & Widerman,
2013).
Ways to Reduce Bullying Behavior in School
Bullying can have very serious and negative consequences if left untreated. Almost
60% of secondary and junior high schools report that teachers either try to stop acts of
bullying once in a while or almost never (Olweus, 1993). Without any adult intervention,
students are affected internally and some may even commit hostile acts against the bullies or
even themselves. This can result in tragedy for the families involved. Furthermore, if the
behavior is not addressed, bullying will continue within a school and can create conflict
between parents and the administration at a given school.
There are many ways to reduce bullying in schools. First, acknowledging that bulling
is a problem within the school system and understanding that it needs to be stopped is a key
element in reducing bullying behavior at school (Aluede et al. 2008). This may seem like a
simple task, however, most of the time school counselors, teachers and administration may
ignore bullying behavior. This could be due to how busy the school staff is with other issues,
and may also relate to the lack of interventions in place to stop the bullying (Metzler Biglan,
Rusby, and Sprague, 2001). Some school personals even go so far to state that there is no
39
problem at school or if they do address it, state that is it not a serious problem and pay little
to no attention to it (Hirsch, 2011).
One of the easiest ways to reduce bullying within the schools is having increased
supervision at breaks between classes as well as during lunch and various school activities in
which students are more likely to interact with each other. In the first bullying prevention
program conducted in Bergen, Norway, Olweus (1993) targeted 2,500 students in grades 5 to
8 over a two and a half year time span to determine if students were being bullied and how a
prevention program can help reduce bullying behavior. Olweus (1993) established that out
of the 40 secondary and junior high schools that participated, that there was a decrease in
bullying/victim problems when there were more adults present during the breaks between
classes. Furthermore, the attitude that the adults had on campus regarding bullying and their
behavior towards these actions had a major influence on the bullying behavior. The opinions
that the adults had on bullying either increased the likelihood of the bullying behavior or
decreased it (Olweus, 1993).
Getting enough supervision for the students at one given time is extremely difficult
because the students greatly outnumber the adults. As a result of the adult to student ratio,
Olweus (1993) believes that schools must be prepared to intervene quickly should a bullying
situation arise on campus and whenever there is a suspicion that bullying is occurring.
Having a “no bullying” policy in place at school sends a loud message to the bullies and the
victims that this type of behavior is not tolerated within school grounds. By reacting in a
timely manner, students are more likely to feel safer at school when there is no
acknowledgement of bullying at school (1993).
40
Having a safe relationship can greatly reduce the negative outcomes of bullying.
Dellasega and Adamshick (2005) report that to reduce relational aggression in schools,
students need to feel that they have a safe relationship with either their peers or an adult on
campus. This is especially true for girls. The researchers confirmed that befriending
someone who can support the student and listen to them would greatly reduce his or her
feelings of isolation and loneliness (2005). Furthermore, students who have friends and
whose friends are willing to stand up and defend them in a face-to-face confrontation are less
likely to be victims of bullying (Mennuti, Freeman, & Christner, 2006).
According to Urbanski and Permuth (2009) forming positive relationships helps
balance a student’s emotions and can provide him or her with a sense of security and
resiliency. In fact, humans are born with the desire to belong and form connections with
others. As a result of this biological wiring in the brain, developing relationships is a key
factor in reducing negative bullying consequences because the child can focus on learning
rather then worrying about trying to find a connection with others (2009).
Students are more likely to be receptive to concrete, statistical facts compared to
having adults telling them not to bully others. Schools should also determine punishments
and to what degree they would be implemented for bullying. After developing a guideline on
how to discipline students for bullying behavior, the administration of a school should
discuss the consequences with the students so that each student knows what is and is not
tolerated in the school setting. By identifying punishments, such as behavioral referrals,
suspensions, and expulsions, and enforcing them on a regular basis, the school can greatly
reduce their bullying incidents (Batsche & Knoff, 1994).
41
Batsche and Knoff (1994) contend that involving parents, as well as the teachers and
staff about the negative influence that bullying can have on the student, can be very
beneficial to both the students and the adults. Increasing awareness with adults is an
additional method that can reduce bullying. Children often exhibit the same negative
behaviors that are seen at school at home. Therefore, involving parents and having open
communication with the teachers and staff can help reinforce socially acceptable behaviors
both at home and at school (Batsche & Knoff, 1994).
Furthermore, positive reinforcement is an excellent way to reduce the negative
consequences of bullying behaviors. Metzler et al. (2001) conducted a study to assist middle
schools in implementing an “empirically based school-wide behavior management
practices.” Metzler et al. (2001) assessed the school behavior management practices, student
behavior and student reports a school without a school wide behavior support system in place
and another school with a behavior support system. After the baseline data was collected, an
intervention was introduced to the school without the behavior support system. The
interventions that were introduced were the following: clarify school rules, teach appropriate
school behavior to the students and increase positive reinforcement for positive behavior, as
well as consistently provide mild consequences for breaking the rules. To increase the
positive behavior, students were rewarded though a records of rewards, such as praise and
recognition for positive behavior that were given, discipline referrals and frequent surveys of
students. The authors found that by rewarding children who exhibited socially acceptable
behavior at Lincoln Middle School, the harassment declined, as well as the number of
behavior referrals that were given out (Metzler et al., 2001).
42
Lastly, praise and friendly attention from teachers and various adults on campus is an
important factor for positively influencing student behavior on campus (Olweus, 1993).
North American studies conducted by Olweus (1993) indicated that students, who received
positive praise from their teachers regarding behavior with each other as well as with their
schoolwork, were expected to have a positive class climate. Moreover, it was easier for
students to accept criticism of their undesirable behavior from teachers who praised them and
were more likely to attempt to change the unwanted behavior. This was the result of the
student feeling as if he or she was well liked by others (1993).
Along with harassment and behavior referrals being reduced as a result of
acknowledging positive behavior, the Metzler et al. (2001) found that physical or verbal
attacks between students also declined. Metzler et al. (2001) recommended the use of praise
and physical rewards, as well as special recognition for students who displayed appropriate
school behavior. After the middle school implemented this program, the students reported
that they were victimized less and felt safer in the halls along with the cafeteria (2001).
Additionally, Polanin, Espelage, and Pigott (2012) examined the effects of bullying
prevention programs on bystander intervention programs by conducting a meta-analysis,
which included 11 states and countries from the United States and Europe and 12,874 student
participants. The researchers found that bystanders intervened in bully situations increased
compared to the control groups. This is especially important to help reduce the number of
students who are bullied on school grounds. The researches stated that one of the best
guidelines to promote the most effective bystander behavior is to encourage bystander
intervention and/or encourage empathy for the victim (2012). Therefore, it is important for
school counselors to educate their students on empathy and how to advocate for students
43
themselves as well as their peers so the students can feel confident enough to stand up to the
bullies within a school and help reduce bullying.
School counselors’ role in preventing bullying. According to the American School
Counselor Association (2005) there are three national standards that serve as a framework for
the counseling practice. These three ASCA national standards are academic development,
career development and personal and emotional development. Bullying falls under the scope
of personal and emotional development. School counselors play a vital role in preventing
bullying within a school. Counselors regularly interact with the students therefore they
should try to create a positive and friendly environment that promotes a culture of respect for
others. O’Moore (2010) asserts that this can be done by having counselors model
compassion, tolerance and respect of an individual’s differences and diversity on a regular
basis. Compassion, tolerance, and respect are the characteristics needed to produce a positive
school climate. The interactions between a student and a counselor are also vital to
producing a positive school culture. Counselors should promote equality and discourage
prejudcial thinking and discrimination based on race, gender, disability, and sexual
orientation when interacting with students (O’Moore, 2010).
In addition to promoting equality, O’Moore (2010) states that counselors should
actively discourage bullying behavior. To do so, counselors should be observant to bullying
behavior and respond to all incidents that come to their attention. If action cannot be taken
right away, the bully should be made aware that their inappropriate behavior was noted and
the counselor should follow up with the school policy on bullying (O’Moore, 2010).
Addressing all incidents of bullying, no matter how major or minor, will reinforce the view
that bullying is not acceptable and tolerated.
44
Lastly, O’Moore (2010) contends that counselors can help build up the self-esteem of
their students because they are in one of the best positions to do so. By promoting positive
self-esteem, students will have reduced anxiety, an increased in assertiveness, reduced
aggression, improved relationships with their peers, increased confidence, reduced disruption
and an increase in willingness to try things out and learn from their mistakes. O’Moore
(2010) states that when counselors and teachers believe in their students’ capabilities, they
will see an improvement in the students’ motivation to learn and their achievements. One of
the strategies to promote positive self-esteem is using praise for appropriate performance and
behavior (O’Moore, 2010). Using Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT) is a great way to
increase the self-esteem of students and can be easily implemented in the school setting by
the counselor.
Cognitive Behavioral Theory
Cognitive behavioral therapy combines cognitive and behavioral therapies that target
emotions by changing the thoughts and behaviors that are contributing to a distressing
emotion (Cully & Teten, 2008). Tenets of CBT include a focus on emotions and behaviors
that go along with the distress are the result of the connection between a situation and a
person’s belief system in how they interpret the given circumstances in addition to his or her
positive or negative thoughts about the events (Mennuti, Freeman, & Christner, 2006). The
focus of CBT is on how a child interprets his or her feelings towards an event and how the
thoughts can influence his or her emotional functioning (2006).
Mennuti et al. (2006) posit that there are two interacting perspectives that are
involved in CBT. Behavioral and cognitive perspectives are combined to understand the
child and develop interventions to address problems. Behavioral perspectives can be broken
45
down into two categories: environmental influences and skill deficits. Environmental
influences are the external influences that a student may face, such as teacher or parent
interactions, past trauma, and parenting styles. Behavioral skill deficits are internal factors
that affect the child, such as poor self-regulation and underdeveloped social skills. Cognitive
perspectives are broken down into two categories as well: cognitive distortions and cognitive
deficiencies. Cognitive distortions are when a person misinterprets a situation due to an error
of thinking. These students often experience anxiety and depression. Cognitive deficiency is
when there are deficits in a student’s cognitive-processing ability. These students have very
minimal problem solving skills and frontal lobe processing, which results in impulsiveness
and attention problems (Mennuti et al., 2006).
Cognitive behavioral theory in schools.
In schools, Mennuti et al. (2006) assert
that many educators believe that psychological counseling is difficult to “fit” into the
education world, however the structure and framework of CBT coincides with the
educational services where time and resources are often limited. This makes the counseling
aspect more easily accepted among educators, especially counselors, for the structure of CBT
is focused on psycho-education, skill building and between session work. CBT is timelimited, present-orientated, and solution-focused. Through the use of CBT, a counselor can
address the contributing factors of a particular event and assist the student in developing a
solution to solve the problem without diagnosing a specific pathology. Furthermore, CBT
can be implemented at different intervention stages, whether is it at the beginning stages of
prevention or during direct individual services (Mennuti et al, 2006).
46
Conclusion
Bullying has many negative affects on the students who are either victims or who are
bullies. It is the single most common act that is carried out in schools and it affects the
largest number of students (Batsche & Knoff, 1994). Because of the large quantity of
students who are likely to be affected by bullying in a negative way, it is crucial to provide
students with a bullying prevention program that teaches them socially acceptable behavior.
In attending the proposed workshop, Kindness Counts, students are made aware of how
negative comments, either said verbally or through written language, can have a lasting
impression on others. Through the course of the workshop, middle school students will learn
how to respond to others in a positive manner, which will increase the cohesiveness of the
school and reduce the negative impact of bullying on the students.
By teaching students acceptable behavior that will produce positive outcomes, school
counselors will have to conduct less peer mediation meetings between the students. This will
result in the counselors dedicating their time to different tasks that may fall to the weigh side,
such as meeting with students regarding their grade or answering emails. Therefore it is
important for counselors to prevent bullying at their school sites. The proposed workshop,
Kindness Counts, will be reviewed in the following chapter, with the focus on development
of the project, intended audience, qualifications for coordinators, and equipment and
materials necessary to coordinate the workshop.
47
CHAPTER 3: KINDNESS DOES COUNT
Introduction
Bullying is a behavior that many children face in kindergarten through twelfth grade
(K-12) schooling. Fifteen to 20% of all students will experience bullying in their K-12
education (Batsche & Knoff, 1994). Even though bullying can be found throughout a
student’s education, bullying reaches its peak at the middle school level, which typically
includes grades six through eight (Urbanski & Permuth, 2009). In middle school, there is a
connection between popularity and relational aggression, which is characterized as
nonphysical behaviors that are intended to damage peer relationships and social status
(Banny, Heilbron, Ames, & Prinstein, 2011). Students who damage their peer’s image and
social status are perceived as being popular and socially accepted by other students (Smith,
Rose & Schwartz Mette, 2010).
Kindness Counts is a project that promotes the use of positive reinforcement to
reduce the negative affects that bullying has on middle school aged students. Students
should be able to take away strategies as to how they can treat their peers in a positive,
respectable way, which will create less conflict in the school environment.
Development of Project
Kindness Counts was inspired by my personal experience of being bullied in
elementary school. Throughout my elementary schooling, I was the only minority in my
grade. As a result of being perceived as different, many of my peers would mock my looks
and ridicule my last name. My classmates would constantly ask me to say different words in
Chinese because they thought it sounded “cool”. After the first bullying incident, I became
aware of just how different I was. Growing up, I would try my hardest to act like my friends
48
and try to rid myself of my Chinese heritage because I thought that would solve my problems
of being “different”.
The bullying behavior stopped when I reached middle school because there were
more minorities in my graduating class and I was not as different as my peers believed I was.
Even though the actual bullying behavior stopped, the scars that it left me still haunt me to
this day, which I was not aware of until recently. During my undergraduate schooling, I
found myself with a suite-mate who would mock the rest of us. One day, I overheard her
making fun of me, which brought up the old feelings of rejection that I had when I was
younger. I did not realize the enormous impact that bullying had on my life, for I thought
that the feelings of sadness and isolation that I had once experienced when I was ten years
old were gone. To this day, I will still get emotional about what happened to me in
elementary school, even though it has been at least 15 years since the incidents.
In addition to my personal experience, encountering students in the counseling office
heartbroken over being bullied is a great inspiration for Kindness Counts. Seeing the
emotional, as well as the academic impact that bullying has on students is a driving force to
teach kids an acceptable way of communication. Witnessing students in the counseling
office sobbing stating that they just “want it to stop” is extremely heartbreaking to me.
Students are allowed to have a safe environment to learn and not preventing bullying
behavior conflicts with the safe environment that every student has the right to have.
Furthermore, the rise of social media apps allows bullies to be a constant reminder of
the pain a student has, even when they are not at school. Growing up, I never had to deal
with being bullied outside of school because there were no means to come into
communication with the bullies at home. However, students in this new millennium have
49
communication at their fingertips. This, at times, may cause them to never escape the bully
or the bulling behavior, which can cause damage to their self-esteem.
Indented Audience
The indented audience for Kindness Counts are middle school aged students in a
school setting. These students are typically around the pre-teen part of their lives, ages 11 to
13. Students who participate in this program should be part of various cliques in school. The
preteens should be popular, unpopular and those who find enjoyment in books and
computers, or as they are more likely called “nerds” or “geeks”. Participants should also
include those who are part of the band and even students who are perceived as unliked by
their peers and those who are socially isolated.
Having a variety of students is best for this program because the students can have the
opportunity to gain empathy for those who are thought to be “different”. Furthermore, the
“popular” or well-liked students who may not be aware of the consequences their action have
on others, are exposed to how their interactions may have affected their peers for the first
time. This will allow the students to gain insight on how it is to feel bullied by others.
Personal Qualifications
Kindness Counts program coordinators should be credentialed school counselors,
teachers or administrators with a firm understanding of the type of behaviors that the students
engage in on a regular basis. School counseling interns under the direct supervision of a
credentialed school counselor are also qualified to be program coordinators. The coordinator
should have worked at the school a minimum of one full year to gain a strong awareness of
the types of students who are being bullied and those who are bullying others. This will
allow the coordinators to target the best participants for the program. Coordinators should
50
also have built some type of rapport with either the bully or the victim, which will allow
more cooperation on the student’s end.
Environment and Equipment
Program coordinators are recommended to hold Kindness Counts in an intimate
setting with a small group. The sessions should take place in a classroom or small space,
such as in the library, with chairs and desks for students to comfortably work. Being in the
school library may provide a safe, warm, and welcoming environment for all students who
participate.
The minimum requirements that are needed to run Kindness Counts are the two
speech bubbles, the blank self-portrait as well as two containers to hold the comments. Pens
and markers may be required if the coordinators would like to take the time to have the
students fill out their papers at the beginning of the presentation. This would be at the
coordinator’s discretion, for students can decorate and fill out their comments beforehand.
Formative Evaluation
To gain an understanding about whether Kindness Counts would be effective, three
seasoned middle school counselors, who will be referred to as A, B, and C, located in
Thousand Oaks, Ca., were selected to provide feedback on the program. Each counselor was
provided with a survey (see appendix A) addressing the program’s curriculum as well as the
impact it has on each participant. The following statements were written to gain insight on
the impact that Kindness Counts had and the counselors were to rate each statement on a
likert scale, ranging from one, strongly disagree to five, strongly agree.
The evaluation survey read as follows: (1) The discussion questions are appropriate
and help initiate a conversation; (2) The information taught to students regarding bullying
51
behavior was age appropriate; (3) This program can be easily implemented in a school
setting; (4) The session directions were easy to understand and follow; (5) The length of the
session was appropriate.
The three counselors strongly agreed that (1) the discussion questions provided were
appropriate and helped start a conversation between the students. They also strongly agreed
with the statements (2) the information taught to students regarding bullying behavior was
age appropriate, and (3) this program can be easily implemented in a school setting. The
counselors did agree that the directions were easy to follow. However, Counselor A and C
stated in the comments that the directions for the icebreaker activity were not as detailed as
the Kindness Counts activity in session two. Counselor A and C strongly agreed that (5) the
length of each session was appropriate and counselor B also agreed with the statement.
The counselors provided an abundance of suggestions that are relevant to
implementing Kindness Counts. Counselor B offered some valid suggestions, which
included a suggestion for a culminating activity during session three, for there is an activity
during the first two sessions. The counselor also thought that during the negative comments
discussion during session two, the students might see this as an opportunity to vent. The
suggestion was to look for ways to limit the length of self-disclosure opportunities since the
students could get off topic. Counselor B also suggested that the coordinators remind the
students as well as model some of the stills that were discussed in session one, such as active
listening. All of the counselors’ feedback will help improve Kindness Counts for future
implementation.
Project Outline
Kindness Counts
52
Designed to teach students how to positively interact with each other in hopes to reduce
bullying found in middle schools.
Session one: Introductions
Students will participate in an icebreaker activity and help develop the group rules that will
be implemented with each session.
Session two: Kindness Counts Activity
Students will visually see how negative comments and positive comments have on a person
through an interactive activity. Discussion will follow with ways to positively interact with
peers. Students will then be challenged to implement the use of positive interactions between
session two and three in which students will record their the information down to be
discussed during session three.
Session three: Conclusion
Students will discuss how they have implemented Kindness Counts since session two.
Reflection on how positive interactions with the students’ peers will be addressed.
53
CHAPTER 4: CONCLUSION
Summary of Project
Kindness Counts is a small group, three-session cognitive behavioral therapy based
anti-bullying program, designed to help reduce the bullying found at the middle school level.
In reviewing the literature, it is apparent that bullying is a tremendous issue thought K-12
schooling which peaks in middle school, typically grades six through eight. Research has
stated that bullying can cause irreversible damage to students who are involved, either by
being the bully or the victim. However, promoting positive self-esteem and reducing
bullying behavior can help prevent the damage from having a severe impact on a student.
Being based in cognitive behavioral therapy, Kindness Counts is focused on skill building in
a manner of three, one-period sessions. The goal of Kindness Counts is to have students
become aware of the negative language students may use in the daily conversations and teach
them positive ways of interacting with their peers through an interactive activity. In order to
prevent future bullying acts to take place in the school setting, educators must first teach
students acceptable behavior, in hopes the students will apply it and help influence others
around them.
Recommendations for Implementation
Coordinators should be credentialed school counselors or graduate school counseling
interns who are under the direct supervision of a credentialed school counselor and should
have a grasp on the bullying situation at the school. Participants should be chosen based on
their behavior and status in school and should be made up of queen bees, sidekicks, bankers,
targets, and torn bystanders to name a few. The program is targeting a wider demographic by
having a variety of students participating in the activity. This will hopefully have a positive
54
influence on those who were not a part of Kindness Counts with the goals being for
participants to model positive interactions with their peers and these students to emulate the
positive behavior. The sessions should take place in a classroom with chairs and desks for
students to comfortably work. A whiteboard and markers are needed for the icebreaker, as
well as coloring materials and pens for students to write their comments down.
Recommendations for Future Research
After reviewing the literature and research on bullying, it is clear that there is a
correlation between parenting styles and the characteristics that a child possesses. Future
research regarding how reinforcing positive behavior at school and at home will be useful to
understand how to stop bullying behavior. Finding a way to emphasize the same behavior
that is practiced at school in the home setting should increase the probability that the students
will be less likely to bully others, whether is it through their conversations or though the
many social media apps that children are continuously downloading. Getting parents to
reinforce the same positive behavior that is being emphasized at school while at home is
extremely difficult. Determining how to improve parent involvement is crucial to help end
the bullying that is found in schools and create a more cohesive school environment for every
student.
Conclusion
Bullying has been an issue since the 1960s when it was referred to as mobbing (We &
Wolke, 2013). Today in the 21st century, students are being bullied at school and at home
thanks to the ever-changing technology advancements. In fact, students in middle schools
are found to be the ones who experience the most bullying in the K-12 grade schooling
(Urbanski & Permuth, 2009). Cyberbullying and indirect bullying are becoming the most
55
common forms of bullying found between students (Smith et al., 2008). With the rising
popularity of social media apps, such as Instagram, Twitter, and Snap Chat, students cannot
escape from the torment that they endure in school. Unfortunately, students are exposed to
mean comments and pain through the availability of the Internet found on their computers
and smart phones (Smith et al., 2008).
It is equally important to remember that both the victim and the bully are at risk to
develop negative characteristics when engaging in or enduring bullying at a young age.
Victims may need to seek out mental health care, for they are at a higher risk of developing
serious psychological issues, as they grow older (Elledge, Cavell, Ogle, Malcolm, Newgent
& Faith, 2010). Not only are psychological issues of concern, but alcoholism and substance
abuse can develop due to being bullied (Urbanski & Permuth, 2009).
Bullies are at risk as well. Bullies are less likely to develop close, lasting
relationships with their peers. This in turn, increases the bully’s chance of becoming antisocial, which can lead to other criminal activities, ultimately landing the bully in juvenile hall
(Aluede, Adeleke, Omoike, & Afen-Akpaida, 2008).
Furthermore, bullying affects students well into their adult life. Takizawa et al.
(2014) found that adults who were bullied had poor health in their 20s and 50s along with
poor cognitive functioning. Those who were bullied were more likely to be unemployed
compared to adults who were not bullied in childhood. Lastly, students who were bullied in
childhood were bullied in college as well (Adams & Lawrence, 2011). Bullied college
students found it harder to make friends and felt isolated while at school (Adams &
Lawrence, 2011).
56
It is easy to think that bullying, whether it is direct, such as fighting, or indirect, in
which students spread rumors through conversation or online, is just “kids being kids.” It has
been found in school for the last 50 years, and some parents and even school staff believe
that it is not a problem. However, it is a growing issue that needs to be addressed. Simply
addressing and acknowledging the fact that bullying exists within a school is a positive first
step (Aluede et al., 2008).
Creating safe relationships with peers or adults in the school is another way to reduce
the negative impact bullying has on a student (Dellasega & Adamshick, 2005). Lastly,
creating a school wide intervention to stop bullying by positively reinforcing good behavior
is an excellent way to change the way bullying is dealt with at a school (Metzler, Biglan,
Rusby, & Sprague, 2001). It may be hard to accomplish at first, but a school that slowly
starts to implement different strategies to reduce bullying behavior will see students who will
greatly benefit from these interventions. Not only will the students be more willing to go to
school but the negative short term and long-term affects of bullying on a child will greatly
decrease if bullying is stopped right when it happens.
57
References
Adams, F. D., & Lawrence, G. J. (2011). Bullying victims: The effects last into college.
American Secondary Education, 40(1), 4-13.
Aluede, O., Adeleke, F., Omoike, D., & Afen-Akpaida, J. (2008). A review of the extent,
nature,
characteristics and effects of bullying behavior in schools. Journal of Instructional
Psychology, 35(2), 151-158.
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental
disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC: Author.
American School Counselor Association. (2005). The ASCA national model (2nd ed.).
Alexandria, VA: Author.
Banny, A. M., Heilbron, N., Ames, A., & Prinstein, M. J. (2011). Relational benefits of
relational aggression: adaptive and maladaptive associations with adolescent
friendship quality. Developmental Psychology, 47(4), 1153-1166.
Batsche, G. M., & Knoff, H. M. (1994). Bullies and their victims: Understanding a pervasive
problem in the schools. School Psychology Review, 24, 165-175.
Copeland, W., Wolke, D., Angold, A., & Costello, E. J. (2013). Adult psychiatric outcomes
of bullying and being bullied by peers in childhood and adolescence, AMA
Psychiatry, 70, 419-426.
Cully, J.A., & Teten, A.L. (2008). A therapist guide to brief cognitive behavioral therapy
Retrieved April 5, 2015 from
http://mirecc.va.gov/visn16/docs/therapists_guide_to_brief_cbtmanual.pdf.
58
Curry, J., & Milsom, A. (2014). Career counseling in p-12 schools. New York, N.Y.:
Springer Publishing Company.
Dellasega, C., & Adamshick, P. (2005). Evaluation of a program designed to reduce
relational aggression in middle school girls. Journal of School Violence, 4(3), 63-76.
Domino, M. (2013). Measuring the impact of an alternative approach to school bullying.
Journal of School Health, 83(6), 430-437.
Elledge, L., Cavell, T. A., Ogle, N. T., Malcolm, K. T., Newgent, R. A., & Faith, M. A.
(2010). History of peer victimization and children's response to school bullying.
School Psychology Quarterly, 25(2), 129-141. doi:10.1037/a0020313e
Floyd, N. M. (1985). "Pick on somebody your own size!" Controlling victimization. The
Pointer, 29, 917.
Greenbaum, S. (1988). School bullying and victimization. NSSC resource paper. Malibu,
CA: National School Safety Center. Retrieved from ERIC database (ED308097).
Hammel, L. R. (2008). Bouncing back after bullying: the resiliency of female victims of
relational aggression. Mid-Western Educational Researcher, 21(2), 3-14.
Hierarchy of needs. (2011). Encyclopedia of Consumer Culture, 713-715. Thousand Oaks,
CA: Sage Publications.
Hibbard, D. R,. & Walton, G.E. (2014). Exploring the development of perfectionism: The
influence of parenting style and gender. Social behavior & personality: An
International Journal, 42(2), 269-278. doi:10.2224/sbp.2014.42.2.269.
Hirsch, L. (Director). (2011). Bully [Motion picture]. United States: The Weinstein
Company.
59
Hoover, J. H., Oliver, R.,& Hazler, R. J. (1992). Bullying: Perceptions of adolescent victims
in the midwestern USA. School Psychology International, 13, 516.
Isomaa, R., Vaananen, J., Frojd, S., Kaltiala-Heino, R., & Marttunen, M. (2013). How low is
low? Low self-esteem as an indicator of internalizing psychopathology in
adolescence. Health Education & Behavior, 40(4), 392-399.
Loeber, R., & Dishion, T. J. (1984). Boys who fight at home and school: Family conditions
influencing crosssetting consistency. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology,
52, 759768.
Mennuti, R.B., Freeman, A., & Christner, R.W. (Eds.). (2006). Cognitive-behavioral
interventions in educational settings: A handbook for practice. New York, NY:
Routledge.
Metzler, C. W., Biglan, A., Rusby, J. C., & Sprague, J. R. (2001). Evaluation of a
comprehensive behavior management program to improve school-wide positive
behavior support. Education and Treatment of Children, 24(4), 448-479.
Michaels, L. & Waters, M. (2004). Mean girls. [Motion picture] United States: Paramount
Pictures.
Mouttapa, M., Valente, T., Gallaher, P., Rohrbach, L. A., & Unger, J. B. (2004). Social
network predictors of bullying and victimization. Adolescence San Diego, 39 (154),
315.
O’Moore, M. (2010). Understanding school bullying: A guide for parents and teachers.
Dublin, Ireland: Veritas.
60
Ojanen, T., & Findley-Van Nostrand, D. (2014). Social goals, aggression, peer preference,
and popularity: Longitudinal links during middle school. Developmental psychology,
50(8), 2134-2143. doi:10.1037/a0037137.
Olweus, D. (1972). Personality and aggression. Nebraska Symposium on Motivation, 20,
261-321.
Olweus, D. (1978). Aggression in the schools: Bullies and whipping boys. New York: Wiley.
Olweus, D. (1991). Bully/victim problems among school children: Basic facts and effects of
a school based intervention program. In I. Rubin & D. Pepler (Eds.), The development
and treatment of childhood aggression (pp.411-447). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Olweus, D. (1993). Bullying at school: what we know and what we can do. Malden, MA:
Blackwell publishing.
Polanin, J. R., Espelage, D. L., & Pigott, T. D. (2012). A meta-analysis of school-based
bullying prevention programs’ effects on bystander intervention behavior. School
psychology review, 41(1), 47-65.
Raboteg-Saric, Z., & Sakic, M. (2014). Relations of parenting styles and friendship quality to
self-esteem, life satisfaction and happiness in adolescents. Applied Research in
Quality of Life, 9(3), 749-765. doi:10.1007/s11482-013-9268-0.
Roeger, L., Allison, S., Korossy–Horwood, R., Eckert, K. A., & Goldney, R. D. (2010). Is a
history of school bullying victimization associated with adult suicidal ideation?: A
south australian population-based observational study. Journal of Nervous and
Mental Disease, 198 (10), 728-733. doi:10.1097/NMD.0b013e3181f4aece.
61
Sansone, R. A., Leung, J. S., & Wiederman, M. W. (2013). Having been bullied in
childhood: Relationship to aggressive behaviour in adulthood. International Journal
of Social Psychiatry, 59(8), 824-826. doi:10.1177/0020764012456814
Salkind, D. J. (2005). Encyclopedia of Human Development. Thousand Oaks: SAGE
Publications, Inc.
Smith, P. K., & Brain, P. (2000). Bullying in schools: Lessons from two decades of research.
Aggressive Behavior, 26(1), 1-9. doi:10.1002/(SICI)1098-2337(2000)26:1<1::AIDAB1>3.0.CO;2-7.
Smith, P. K., Mahdavi, J., Carvalho, M., Fisher, S., Russell, S., & Tippett, N. (2008).
Cyberbullying: Its nature and impact in secondary school pupils. Journal of child
psychology and psychiatry, 49(4), 376-385. Retrieved from
http://search.proquest.com/docview/61950723?accountid=7285
Smith, R. L., Rose, A. J., & Schwartz-Mette, R. A. (2010). Relational and overt aggression in
childhood and adolescence: Clarifying mean-level gender differences and
associations with peer acceptance. Social Development, 19, 243–269.
doi:10.1111/j.1467-9507.2009.00541.x.
Stone, C. (2013). School counseling principles ethics and law (3rd ed.). Alexandria, VA:
American School Counselor Association.
Takizawa, R., Maughan, B., & Arseneault, L. (2014). Adult health outcomes of childhood
bullying victimization: Evidence from a five-decade longitudinal British birth cohort.
The American Journal of Psychiatry, 171(7), 777-784.
doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2014.13101401.
62
Urbanski, J., & Permuth, S. (2009). The truth about bullying. Lanham, Maryland: Rowman
& Littlefield Education.
We, C., Wolke, D. (2013). Impact of bullying trails both victims, bullies into adulthood.
Brown university child & adolescent behavior letter, 29 1-5.
Wiseman, R. (2002). Queen bees and wannabes. New York: Three Rivers Press.
63
APPENDIX A
April 1, 2015
Dear School Counselor:
I would love your input on my thesis project, entitled Kindness Counts. Kindness Counts is a
three-session program that brings awareness of the impact that negative comments have on
students. Participants will explore their feelings regarding negative and positive feelings in
addition to learning positive ways to interact with their peers through an interactive activity.
I have attached my project and a short survey evaluating Kindness Counts’ effectiveness in
making an impact on the students. If any questions should arise please feel free to email my
project chair, Dr. Shyrea Minton at [email protected], or me at
[email protected].
Thank you for your valuable time. Every comment will help me ensure that Kindness Counts
is an engaging, yet informational project, which will make an impact on a student’s life.
Sincerely,
Katelynn Quach
64
The discussion questions are appropriate and help initiate a conversation
1
2
3
4
Strongly Disagree
5
Strongly
Agree
The information taught to students regarding bullying behavior was age appropriate
1
2
3
4
Strongly Disagree
5
Strongly
Agree
This program can be easily implemented in a school setting
1
2
3
4
Strongly Disagree
5
Strongly
Agree
The session directions were easy to understand and follow
1
2
3
4
Strongly Disagree
5
Strongly
Agree
The length of the session was appropriate
1
2
3
Strongly Disagree
Agree
4
5
Strongly
Comments:
65
APPENDIX B
Kindness Counts
By Katelynn Quach
To the Kindness Counts Coordinators:
Kindness Counts is a project that promotes the use of positive reinforcement to
reduce the negative affects that bullying has on middle school aged students. Students
should be able to take away strategies as to how they can treat their peers in a positive,
respectable manner, thus creating less conflict in the school environment.
66
The indented audience for Kindness Counts is middle school aged students in a
school setting. These students are typically around the pre-teen part of their lives, ages 11 to
13. Students who participate in this program should be part of various cliques in school. The
preteens should be popular, unpopular and those who find enjoyment in books and
computers, or as they are more likely called “nerds” or “geeks”. Participants should also
include those who are part of the band and even students who are perceived as unliked by
their peers as well as those who are socially isolated.
Having a variety of students is best for this program because the students can have the
opportunity to gain empathy for those who are perceived to be “different”. Furthermore, the
“popular” or well-liked students who may not be aware of the consequences their action have
on other, are exposed to how their interactions may have affected their peers for the first
time. This allows the students to gain insight on how it is to feel bullied by others.
Bullying is a behavior that many children face in kindergarten through twelfth grade
(K-12) schooling. Fifteen to 20% of all students will experience bullying in their K-12
education (Batsche &Knoff, 1994). Even though bullying can be found throughout a
student’s education, bullying reaches its peak at the middle school level, which typically
includes grades six through eight (Urbanski & Permuth, 2009). In middle school, there is a
connection between popularity and relational aggression, which is characterized as
nonphysical behaviors that are intended to damage peer relationships and social status
(Banny, Heilbron, Ames, & Prinstein, 2011). Students who damage their peer’s image and
social status are perceived as being popular and socially accepted by other students (Smith,
Rose & Schwartz Mette, 2010).
67
Creating safe relationships with peers or adults in the school is an excellent way to
reduce the negative impact bullying has on a student (Dellasega & Adamshick, 2005).
Additionally, creating a school wide intervention to stop bullying by positively reinforcing
good behavior is an outstanding way to change the way bullying is dealt with at a school
(Metzler, Biglan, Rusby, & Sprague, 2001). It may be hard to accomplish at first, but a
school that slowly starts to implement different strategies to reduce bullying behavior will
see students who will greatly benefit from these interventions. Not only will the students be
more willing to go to school but the negative short term and long term affects of bullying on
a child will greatly decrease, if bullying is stopped right when it happens. Hopefully you will
find this project useful and remember kindness counts.
68
Session 1: Introductions and Expectations
Session one is used as an introduction to the concept of bullying and group rules.
During this session, program coordinators should explain confidentiality, respect for others,
good listening skills, and having an open mind to the process to the students. The students
should have a strong understanding of what is expected from them as it related to their
behavior, in addition to what the students would gain from the program. Coordinators may
want to have students decorate their self-portraits during session one to save time, appendix
B, for they represent the student during session two. Portraits should be a true reflection of
how the students currently see themselves, whether it is a negative image or a positive one.
This process should take roughly about 25 to 30 minutes, depending on if the coordinator
decides to have the students decorate their self-portraits.
Goals:

Students will learn the purpose of Kindness Counts

Students will get to know each other on a deeper level

Students will learn the rules and expectations of the group
Materials needed:

Rules and confidentiality handout

Portrait hand out for each participant (If necessary)

Coloring and writing material (If necessary)

Ice breaker grid for each student

Blank paper

Chairs

Room to meet in with a white board
69
Procedures:

Before students arrive, make sure that chairs are arranged in a circle so every
participant can be seen and heard. Have the blank paper torn in half and make
sure there are enough ice breaker handouts for each participant

Ice breaker: Human Bingo

Pass out the icebreaker grid along with the half sheets of paper.
Instruct students to write an interesting fact about them that one would
know (ie. traveled to 4 countries, has an identical twin) and not show it
to anyone.

Collect the facts and write all of them on the write board. Instruct the
students to write down the facts on the icebreaker grid wherever they
please.


One fact per grid box
After students are finished, instruct students to walk around and
engage in a conversation with their peers, trying to guess which fact
belongs to which student. The first student to get a completed row with
the name of the students that the facts belong to will be the “winner”.

Student can only ask each other questions and not specifically
ask them a fact that is written down on the grid
o For example, if the fact is broke the same arm twice,
students can ask if they have been hurt before and if it
has resulted in any broken bones but they cannot ask if
they have broken the same arm twice.
70

Confidentiality is discussed. Ask the group if they know what confidentiality
means. Listen to all of the definitions and provide positive feedback. After
all the answers are heard, discuss confidentiality with the students.

Group Rules are discussed. Group rules can be discussed with the students
based on what they would like. However, confidentiality, respect and
listening should be a requirement.

If time permits, have students decorate self-portraits based on how they see
themselves.
71
Confidentiality (For the Coordinator)

Everything that is discussed in Kindness Counts is not to be spoken outside of the
group

The only reason to break confidentiality is when there is harm to the student, he or
she is a harm to him or herself or the student intends to harm others
Group Rules (For the Coordinator)

Listening- students should be active listeners.

Respect- students should show respect to each other when they are sharing their
thoughts and ideas

Confidentiality- students should be made aware that confidentiality is one of the rules
of the group

Have an open mind- instruct students to be open to the group process. Students with
a sour attitude should be spoken to or be reconsidered for the group
72
Human Bingo directions: Fill each space up with one fact that is written on the board. When prompted,
use questions to figure out which fact belongs to whom. When a fact matches up with a person, write
their name in the space
Free Space
73
Directions: Color and decorate your self-portrait as you see yourself now, whether it is
positive or negative. It should be a true representation of you.
74
Session two. Session two is the actual implantation of Kindness Counts. Students
who participate in the anti-bullying program will receive three pieces of paper: one blank
face, in which students can decorate to resemble themselves in the state they are currently in
and two speech bubbles. Participants will be asked to write one negative comment that they
have had someone say to them and a positive comment they have received from their peers
while attending middle school.
Program coordinators should pass out the comments card, appendix C and D, and
allow students approximately two to five minutes to fill them out truthfully. Coordinators
should inform students that appendix C should consist of negative, real comments that they
have had someone say to them. Appendix D should include positive comments that students
have received in their life.
Comments are to be collected into two baskets: negative comments and positive
comments. Next, coordinators should explain to the participants that with every negative
comment read aloud, students are to crumple their portraits up if they had someone say the
comment to them in their lifetime. All negative comments should be read out loud if time
permits, or until the student self-portraits are crumpled up where the fibers in the paper have
been broken down where the once stiff paper is now unusable. After the comments are read,
coordinators will facilitate a discussion about how the negative comments made the students
feel. Students can also reflect on the physical look of their portraits in relation to their
feelings. Reading the negative comments and reflection should take roughly about 10 to 15
minutes, with at least half of the time spent on the discussion.
Coordinators will read the positive comments in the same manner they read the
negative comments. Coordinators will inform the students that they will now unravel their
75
portraits with every positive comment they have heard someone say to them. Coordinators,
then, are to read all of the positive comments out loud and lead a discussion about how the
positive comments made the students feel. Next, coordinators should lead a discussion
comparing and contrasting the students’ feelings when the negative and positive comments
were read. This should take approximately 20 to 30 minutes, spending the majority of the
time on discussion.
Coordinators are then to show students the video “Kids Read Mean Tweets”, which
can be found on Youtube. Discussion should follow the video about how negative comments
can easily tear down students while positive comments cannot repair what has been said, no
matter how many positive comments a person receives. Furthermore, the exploration of how
negative comments still linger and affect a student should also be addressed.
Coordinators are then to inform students how only positive comments should be used
when speaking with each other and “challenge” them to interact with their peers in a positive
way between the second and third sessions. The adults should ask students to participate by
having them come up with ideas on how to treat their peers with kindness and respect from
this day forward, in addition to having the students demonstrate how the behavior looks. In
addition to the discussion, coordinators should also pass out the students’ “homework” in
which students will record their progress between sessions.
Goals:

Students will learn how it feels to receive negative and positive comments

Students will be able to visually see how comments affect a person

Students will be able to empathize with each other as well as learn how to empathize
with their peers
76
Materials Needed:

Negative Comment Card (one for each participant)

Positive Comment Card (one for each participant)

Kindness Counts Progress Report (one for each participant)

Suggested discussion questions

Self-portrait

Two baskets

Access to a computer with internet access

Projector

Pens

Coloring materials (if applicable)

Chairs
Procedure:

Pass out positive and negative comment cards and pens to each participant and
instruct them to write down a positive and negative comment that someone has said to
them in their lifetime.
o Collect negative and positive comments in respective baskets

Instruct students to crumple self-portraits if they have had a person say the negative
comment to them.
o Read negative comments out loud until gone or until time permits

Facilitate group discussion regarding how negative comments made participants feel

Instruct students to unravel portraits with every positive comment they have had
someone say to them
77
o Read out positive comments until gone or until time permits

Facilitate group discussion regarding how positive comments made participants feel
o Compare and contrast feelings when negative comments and positive
comments were read out loud

Show Youtube video, “Kids Read Mean Tweets”

Discuss how negative comments have a lasting impact on people

“Challenge” students to interact with students in a positive manner
o Pass out Kindness Counts Progress Report and explain the directions
78
Directions: Fill out with one negative comment that someone has said to you in
your lifetime
79
http://www.redkid.net/generator/seuss/9.ph
p
Directions: Fill out with one positive comment that someone has said to you in your lifetime
http://www.redkid.net/generator/seuss/16.ph
p
80
Kindness Counts Progress Report
Name(s) of the person(s) you positively interacted with _______________________
Do you know this person?
What did you do?
How did it make you feel?
81
How did it make the person feel?
How do you know your interaction made this person feel this way?
82
Negative Comments Discussion Questions (For the Coordinator)

What does your portrait look like?

What did it feel like when (the coordinator) read out the comments?

Did you feel that your behavior/mood from when you walked in to now has changed?
o Why? - Have students expand if necessary
Positive Comments Discussion Questions (For the Coordinator)

What does your portrait look like?
o How does that compare to when we first started the activity?

How did you feel when (the coordinator) was reading out the positive comments?

Did your mood change from hearing the positive comments versus the negative
comments?
Discussion Topics after “Kids Read Mean Tweets” (For the Coordinator)

Discuss the students body language and tone of voice in the video as the comments
became more severe

Discuss how comments have a lasting impression on students
o Reference self-portraits


Before the activity, clean and crisp,

After activity, wrinkled and torn
Challenge students to be nice to others
o Sample Questions

Did it feel good to receive the negative comments?
83

How can we make our peers feel good about themselves?

In what ways can we help students have a great day?
o I want you to now to interact with students in a positive manner until the next
session.


How can you do that?

What does that looks like?
Inform students that there will be a discussion regarding the process at the last session
84
Session three. Session three acts as a wrap up session. Coordinators should lead a
group discussion with the students about if and how they used positive language between the
meetings. Students should also reflect on how it made them feel as well as the other person(s)
involved. Lastly, coordinators should remind students to try to implement positive language
in their everyday interactions regardless of what the person looks or acts like. This session
should take approximately 20 minutes.
Goals:

To have students share about their experience using positive interactions with their
peers
Materials:

Chairs

Discussion questions
Procedure:

Facilitate a group discussion on using positive interactions with peers
85
Session 3 Discussion Questions (For the Coordinator)

What did you do to positively interact with your peer?

Did you see a change in attitude from the person?

How did it make the person feel?
o Did you see a smile on their face?

How did it make you feel?

How can you get other students to interact with each other in a positive way?

How can you stop the negative comments from happening?
86
References
Dr, Suess. (2015, May 4). Retrieved from http://www.redkid.net/generator/seuss/16.php
Faces coloring pages. (2015, May 4). Retrieved from http://www.coloring-pageskids.com/coloring-pages/miscellaneous-coloring-pages/faces-coloring-pages/facescoloring-pages-images/face-coloring-page-04.php
87