Supporting a Submariner
by Mandy Hunt
This story was first published 2011 in DFA jubilee book
Voices: stories of Defence Families.
With the support of DHA, Defence Health, ADCU
and RANCCF, 2000 copies of this book were printed
and made available to Defence family members to
enhance the understanding of the unique lifestyles and
experiences of families of the Australian Defence Force.
It’s the smell that means
they’re finally home so you
start to really love it!
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Supporting a Submariner by Mandy Hunt
I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice…
But when I see my husband’s face after his
time away I know how much I love him and it
somehow makes it all better.
When I met my husband at the age of 20 in 2008, I never
would have thought I’d be married and living on the other side of the
country one year later. Even now when I’m alone and sad, missing my
husband, I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice leaving all my
family and friends behind and everything that was once so familiar to
me. But when I see my husband’s face after his time away I know how
much I love him and it somehow makes it all better.
I have learnt however that it’s OK to have doubts every now and then.
Who doesn’t? It’s OK to be sad and cry or be happy. You never need
to explain why you feel the way you feel when your husband is away.
Everyone feels things in different ways and a lot of people will never
understand what it’s like and they don’t have to.
Sometimes I get sick of people asking me if I’m doing OK while he’s
away. I know that they just care and are trying to help but it doesn’t, one
thing that always helps me is I know he will always come back. It’s not
like I’m losing him forever – he will be back even if it takes a while.
Sometimes you feel like no one understands what you’re going though.
They may or may not but if you have people in your life like your mum
or sister or even a good friend that will listen it does make it easier.
I have my mum. I would be lost without her to talk to as she will always
listen and it helps. She has even travels from Melbourne to Perth to be
with me while my husband is away which I’ll always be so grateful that
she is willing to take time out of her life to make mine a bit easier.
It took a long time for me to really get back on my feet after moving
here to Perth. It was a very big change and I didn’t want to stay here.
But now I have some great friends that try to help out as much as they
can by keeping my mind off my husband being away. They take me to
see movies and going shopping with me and just remind me that I can
still have a life even when my husband isn’t around. It helps a lot and I
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Supporting a Submariner by Mandy Hunt
can’t begin to think what it would be like not living here now, Perth has
become my home.
Also I think it’s a good idea having a job even if you have kids as time just
seems to go by so slowly when you don’t fill it with as many things as you
can. The less time on your hands the better. I’ve been out of work for a
while and time seems to stand still sometimes when my husband is away
and because of that I’m trying to find a job just so I don’t go crazy.
The best days are when your husband gets home, no matter how long
he’s been away even if it’s a week, a month or even 6 months. You do
miss him being around. For me, I find the nights the worst. I find
myself often not being able to sleep and staying up till 1 or sometimes
even 2 in the morning just because I can’t sleep. I think it’s because
you’re always used to having him around at night because when he’s
home he works all day but comes home at night.
Above
Mandy Hunt with her
husband Brendan.
I always sleep in the middle of the bed with a baseball bat under my
bed and lock my bedroom door as things always seem a bit off when
your home alone at night. I’m also very happy I have dogs outside
guarding my house while I sleep as it puts my mind at ease. Yes, I do
sometimes get a little scared being on my own.
You can’t email your husband when he’s on a submarine so when he
goes away communication is very limited. This makes things a bit
harder but that’s where being able to send family grams helps (short
letters through the submarine communications team).
It’s also strange but I always have my phone with me at all times when
my husband is away even though I know he can’t call. I do remember
this one night at about 9.30 pm I was sitting on the lounge watching TV
when all of a sudden my phone started ringing and, like most people,
I have a ring tone that’s just for my husband. When I heard it, I was
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Supporting a Submariner by Mandy Hunt
It’s OK to be sad and cry or be happy.
shocked, saying to myself he must be back on land if he’s calling and
when he told me he was coming home that night I was so happy.
Submarines normally do two or three voyages of a couple of months at
a time each year. I have had a dream run so far and the longest we have
been a part is a month. I know that one day it’s not going to be the case
and it’s like anything I will learn to adapt.
It may seem weird but I really don’t find much strange about the
conditions on board. They’re the ones that have to live with it, not me.
Yes, I think it gross they don’t shower for a week. But that’s the first
thing my husband does when he gets home after being away so I really
don’t have to be around it. It does mean that when you do first see
them, it’s the smell that means they’re finally home so you start to really
love it!
Every day can be a great day but like life, you’re always going to have
your ups and downs. Sometimes things will be hard, sometimes he’ll be
away and sometimes he’ll be home.
The Navy is a part of him and will be a part of you after time but you
always have to remember that you will always come first. It might not
always feel like it but the Navy is just a job at the end of the day and
he’ll ways come back to you. If he had a choice he wouldn’t choose to
leave you – you have him forever. They only have him for now.
❖
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