Oh Dad, Poor Dad,
Hung You In The Closet and I’m Feeling So Sad
By Arthur Kopit
Jonathan
Well, I made it out of lenses and tubing. The lenses I had because Ma-Ma-Mother
gave me a set of lenses so I could see my stamps better. I have a fabulous
collection of stamps, as well as a fantastic collection of coins and a simply
unbelievable collection of books. Well sir, Ma-Ma-Mother gave me these lenses so
I could see my stamps better. She suspected that some were fake so she gave me
the lenses so I might be…able to see. You see? Well sir, I happen to have nearly a
billion sta-stamps. So far I’ve looked closely at 1,352,769. I’ve discovered three
actual fakes! Number 1,352,767 was a fake. Number1,352,768 was a fake, and
number 1,352,769 was a fake. They were stuck together. Ma-Mother made me
feed them im-mediately to her fly –traps. Well… (He whispers.) one day, when
Mother wasn’t looking…that is, when she was out, I heard an air-plane
flying…somewhere, far away. And I ran outside to the porch so that JI might see
what it looked like. The airplane. With hundreds of people inside it. Hundreds and
hundreds and hundreds of people. And I thought to myself, if I could just see…if I
could just see what they looked like, the people, sitting at their windows looking
out…and flying. If I Could see…just once…if I could see just once what they
looked like…then I might…know what I-what I… (Slight pause.) So I…built a
telescope in case the plane ever…came back again. The tubing from and old
blowgun (He reaches behind the bureau and produces a huge blowgun, easily a foot
larger than he Mother brought back from her last hunting trip to Zanzibar. The
lenses were the lenses she had given me for my stamp. So I built it. My telescope.
A telescope so I might be able to see. And… (He walks out to the porch.) and…and
I could see! I could! I COULD! I really could. For miles and miles I could see.
For miles and miles and miles! Only…
You take the time to build a telescope that can sa-see for miles, then there’s nothing
out there to see. MA-Mother says it’s a lesson in Life. [Pause] But I’m not sorry I
built my telescope. And you know why? Because, I saw you. Even if I didn’t see
anything else, I did see you. And…and I’m…very glad.
Typed by: Jeremy Mash
2-16-06