Bullying
How do you know if it’s
bullying or teasing?
And what to do about it
Bullying vs. Teasing
• Teasing is:
– A one time comment made to someone that is
not kind.
– Jokes between friends that both people think
are funny
– When asked to stop, the teaser stops.
Bullying Vs. Teasing
• Bullying is:
– Physical Aggression
– Verbal Aggression (threats, name-calling)
– Social Aggression (leaving out, manipulation)
– Written Aggression (graffiti, in and out lists)
– Intimidation (make someone feel afraid)
– Racial or Ethnic Harassment
– Sexual Harassment
– Continued teasing that you asked to stop
Bullying
Happens
Again And Again
Unequal
Level
Of
Feelings
One person
has more power
than the others
Different from “Normal Conflict”
Boys vs. Girls
Boys
Tries too hard
Looks/acts like a girl
Girls
Poor
Can’t take
A joke
Too serious
Confident
Money
Athletic
Poor
Nice hair
Wrong hair
Money
Right style
Good in school but
not stressed about it
In control
not into sports
Fat
Confident
Smooth talker
Gay
Dumb
Athletic but small
Too
sensitive
B**ch
won’t take risks
Wrong
Style
Popular (people know
you)
Thin but with curves
Fat/bad skin
Right gear
Weak/
Slow
Bad
Skin
In control
Easy going
Wrong style
Uptight
Pretty
Gets girls
Not into or
Too into
Video games
Tries too hard/
Follows or
Copies
Gets good grades but not
too smart
Too masculine/ gay
Dependent
Definitions of Popularity
• Negative
– When a person uses relationships to
manipulate people or to gain power over
them.
• Positive
– When a person has a real relationship with
people and is able to move between groups of
friends without hurting anyone. They do not
need to hurt others to be popular.
Gossip
A rumor or talk that reveals secrets or details
about others.
True or false.
Reputation
How other people and your
community think of you.
Can be good or bad.
Bullies, Victims, Bystanders
Girls
• Queen Bee – The group leader. Can be very mean to girls in group but she
can also show her power by making everyone else leave one girl out. She doesn’t
have to look like the mean one.
• Sidekick – Second in command. She agrees with what the leader says and
puts pressure on the other girls to support and agree with the Queen Bee. She does
the dirty work!
• Banker – She collects information about everyone and tells secrets when it
helps her.
• Torn Bystander – She wants to help the victim but doesn’t know how.
She is in the group but feels caught in the middle of fighting friends.
• Messenger – She brings information (gossip) back and forth between
people in the group and it usually creates trouble.
• Floater – She doesn’t associate with any one group but has friends in different
groups.
• Target/Victim – She is picked on by the group or left out.
Bullies, Victims, Bystanders
Boys
• The Dominator – He is the leader of the group and in control. He rules
by fear and intimidation, making others feel weak. He makes sure no one else is too
good of friends because he doesn’t want to lose his power. He makes the group
prove their loyalty to him. No one can speak against him.
• The Muscle – He supports the dominator by backing him up and putting
pressure on others to do the same or pick on the target. He is only powerful when he
is with the Dominator but he can be replaced. He does the dirty work!
• The Stuck and Silenced – He wants to help the target but wants
to stay in the group. He’s afraid he will be left out if he helps the target so he stays
silent.
• The Wannabe – He will do anything to be in with the Dominator or the
Muscle. He copies them to be in the group. Sometimes they accept him and
sometimes they don’t. It depends if he is needed.
• The Real Man – He moves between groups of friends because he is
accepted by everyone. He is true to himself and his beliefs. He doesn’t worry about
what others think.
• Target – He might be in the group or out of it but he is picked on by the group.
Bullying Unchecked
• Creates a school filled with
Fear
Distrust
Isolation
Disconnection
Do It Myself Justice
Violence
Positive Climate
• What We Want In Our School:
Respect
Responsibility
Compassion
Safety
Learning
Honesty
Courage
Pride
Cyber/Phone Bullying
• Sending mean or threatening messages
• Creating websites that are mean to others (myspace)
• Posting pictures of classmates online without their
knowing
• Tricking someone on the phone or online into telling
secrets and forwarding it to others or on 3-way
• Being mean on blogs
• Pretending to be someone you are not
What can you do?
1) Print “screen”
2) Log off / Hang up
3) Tell your parents!
What Can I Do?
•
•
•
•
•
Walk away from a bully
Stand up for yourself – with words.
Stand up for your friends
Get an adult involved
Hang out with people who value you and your
friendship – true friends aren’t your friend “just
sometimes.”
• Know that you will argue with friends but the
friendship isn’t over
• Avoid gossiping to protect your reputation and
the reputations of others.
• Adapted from powerpoint presentation
“Bullying Strategies and Interventions”
designed by Julie Baron, MSW, LCSW-C
at 2007 SCUP Conference. Rockville, MD.
HCPS BULLYING POLICY
 A student, either individually or as part of a group, shall not harass or bully others.
Prohibited conduct includes, but is not limited to: physical, verbal, or written
intimidation, taunting, name-calling, insults, exclusion, threatening body posture, and
any combination of prohibited activities. Prohibited conduct includes verbal or written
conduct consisting of comments regarding the race, gender, religion, physical abilities
or characteristics, or associates of the targeted person or group.
County Recommended Dispositions-one or more may apply
• Student conference
• Parent Contact Suspension
• Conference with Parent/School
• Instructional Support Services Intervention
• Detention/Community Service
• Alternative School Program
• Suspension Intervention Program (Elementary)
• Required Mediation/Conflict Resolution Training
• School Resource Officer
• Court Referral
• Recommendation to the school board for expulsion