Th e
Networker
Newsletter of Catholic Charities North Dakota
Volume 26, Issue 2 Fall 2012
Child’s Play: Important Work
When Jon bit a classmate and shoved and kicked his teacher
when she tried to intervene, it was the final straw. His aggression in
the classroom had been gradually building, from ripping one child’s
artwork, taunting another child, to being reported for fighting on
the playground several times. His classmates avoided him. Notes
had been sent home yet his disruptive behavior continued. On
this day, his mother was called to the school and told that Jon was
being suspended.
As she talked with the principal and the teacher, she broke
down and disclosed that she had similar challenges with him at
home. She constantly monitored his aggression towards his younger
brother to avoid someone being hurt, and he was disobedient and
disrespectful with her.
She confided that Jon’s young life had included physical abuse
by his father and sexual abuse by his grandfather. As a result, he
and his younger brother were removed from their father’s home
and placed in multiple foster homes. They suffered instability
and chaos in their lives before moving to North Dakota and being
reunited with her after she had successfully completed treatment
at an addictions center.
The principal referred her to the Counseling Services of
Catholic Charities North Dakota. Jon began weekly individual
therapy and started Parent-Child Interactive Therapy with his
See Child’s Play, page 5
Catholic Charities North Dakaota was proud to help the
Minot area in rebuilding from the floods of 2011. Shown
with the representation of a $1,000,000 check are Larry
Bernhardt and Jerome Clark, Executive Director and
Board Member of Catholic Charities Board of Directors;
Mary Barker, Recovery Warehouse Manager; Gerald Dyke,
Mennonite Disaster Services; Rev. Debra Ball-Kilbourne,
United Methodist Committee on Relief; Pat Smith, Souris
Valley United Way Director; and Shirley Dykshorn,
Lutheran Social Services Disaster Response Director.
(See Story on Page 2)
P
e
g
o
n
i
ple, Ch
p
l
.
e
H
es
an g i n g Li v
A Priceless Call
Board of Directors
Bishop David Kagan, President
Brian Herding, Chair - Grafton
Jerome Clark, Vice-Chairman-Minot
Mary Ann Votava, Secretary-Grand Forks
Jim Laske, Treasurer - Fargo
Rev. Msgr. Dennis Skonseng - Valley City
Liaison to Bishop David Kagan
Joyce McDowall - Bismarck
Liaison to Bishop David Kagan
Lynn Davis, Belcourt
Sr. Maura DeCrans, PBVM, Fargo*
Kaylin Frappier, Fargo
L. Joe Fry, Fargo
Rev. William Gerlach, Oakes*
John Hardy, Rolla
Agnes Harrington, Fargo
Christopher Johnson, Fargo
Aaron Krauter, West Fargo
Deacon Doyle Schulz, Bismarck
Thomas Vanorny, Oakes
Diane Weir, Medora
Deacon Bob Zent, Dickinson*
*New Board Members
Executive Director
Larry J. Bernhardt
Board Members Emeriti
Tim Allmaras
Toni Betting
Sr. Lois Byrne
Leon Comeau
Deacon Ed Didier
Sr. Joanne Graham
Rev. Thomas Graner
Michael Hagstrom
Monica Hannan
Kathy Hogan
Betty Keegan
Kate Kenna
Jaselta Lorenz
Sonia Lunardi
Jim Lyons
Galen Mack
Teresa Martinez-Gravelin
Victor Mathern
Fr. Bernie Pfau
Sharon Pollard
Diane Roller
Leo Schmidt
Deacon Conrad Schuster
Mary Ann Schuster
Jerome Schwartzenberger
Cameron Sillers
Sr. Suzanne Stahl
Dr. Shantell Two Bears
Msgr. Wendelyn Vetter
The Networker is published twice a year by
Catholic Charities North Dakota.
Catholic Charities North Dakota
is an Equal Opportunity Employer.
1-800-450-4457
www.CatholicCharitiesND.org
two
Dear Friends,
It’s not every day that you receive a phone call
telling you that your Agency has been awarded a
$1,000,000 grant to help with flood recovery in the Larry J. Bernhardt
Minot, North Dakota area, but that is exactly what Executive Director
happened for Catholic Charities North Dakota in August 2012.
We were contacted in May by Catholic Charities USA (CCUSA) and
told they were issuing a second round of grants to member agencies in a
few states which had been hit hardest during the disasters of 2011. We had
already received $70,000 from them and applied for a $250,000 grant. In
the surprise phone call in August, we learned that $1,025,000 would be given
to us because CCUSA was impressed with the effective way the previous
funds had been distributed.
Catholic Charities North Dakota collaborates with other Voluntary
Organizations Active in Disaster (VOAD) to help with the recovery of
those affected by disasters. These funds were used to provide funds to the
Souris River Basin Unmet Needs Committee, restock and provide building
supplies for the Recovery Warehouse, purchase supplies for the volunteers
of Mennonite Disaster Services to bring homes to completion, and to
recognize and honor the volunteer case managers of Resource Agencies
Flood Team (RAFT).
We have already heard from people who have benefited and their
gratefulness is so inspiring. We are blessed at Catholic Charities North
Dakota that we can play a small part in this recovery.
With blessings,
Larry Bernhardt
When Disaster Strikes
When a disaster hits a community, the generosity of people
throughout the state, region and nation is immediately evident as
donations are made to local, regional and national organizations.
It is this generosity which helps Catholic Charities North Dakota
assist individuals and families recover from the disaster.
Did you know that following the winter storms and floods of 1997,
$1,732,713 was given
✶ for emergency Child Care in Grand Forks;
✶ to set up a Thrift Store in Grand Forks;
✶to sponsor Case Management which identified resources for families
to rebuild and recover;
✶to aid families in rural areas with the Rural Support Program?
From 2000 to 2012 over $200,000 was used to address needs evident
after the Northwood Tornado, drought conditions in the western part
of the state, and direct financial assistance for floods which occurred in
these 12 years.
The Price of Love
When Heather glanced down the hospital hall and
caught a glimpse of the adoptive parents gazing at her
baby, she knew that this was what was best for her child.
As a 16 year old high school student, Heather had
experienced some challenges in her life. The baby’s father
told her to “take care of ” this unplanned pregnancy; by
her divorced, alcoholic mother she was
told “I’m not supportiing another kid,”
and she faced the disappointment and
anger of her father, though at least he
was supportive of her. It was a high
school counselor who reached out to
Heather and connected her with a
pregnancy social worker from
Catholic Charities North
Dakota.
Together, they discussed
Heather’s plans for her unborn
child. Heather desperately wanted
to parent her child, thinking finally
someone would really love her. At the same time she
struggled with the fact that she did not want her baby
growing up in a broken home as she had. After much soul
searching and many tears, Heather decided she needed
to look at adoption. She read the family profiles online
(www.CatholicCharitiesND.org) and selected a family.
They met at the local Catholic Charities office and
Heather asked them to come to the remaining doctor’s
appointments with her.
In many ways, Heather felt like the adoptive family
was the family she needed for herself, and so certainly
they would be right for her child. She had the adoptive
mom with her in the delivery room and they all spent a
lot of time together in the hospital. However, when it
came time for her to leave the hospital without the baby,
she really struggled. The fact that a relative asked her
how she could “give away” her child added to her struggle.
But that glimpse of the adoptive parents with the baby
convinced her that she was doing the right thing.
There were some very tough moments for her
as she went through the grieving process, but getting
pictures and letters from the adoptive family, and having
occasional visits, helped. Now 8 months later she says “I
know I made the right decision. It has been the hardest
decision, and most sacrificial decision of my life, but for
Danielle it was the right decision. She is happy and
healthy and in a loving family surrounded by so many of
us who will always love her. Some day I hope to have the
kind of family and home that she is in.”
What so many people fail to realize is that birth
moms do not make an adoption plan because they do not
love their child
or want their
child; they are
not “giving them
away”. Decisions
about making
parenting plans
or adoption plans
are not easy, but
staff of Catholic
C h a r i t i e s
North Dakota’s
P r e g n a n c y,
Parenting
a n d Ad o p t i on
Services are
available to help.
All services are
confidential, free
of charge, and
available to Catholic and non-Catholic alike. For
assistance or more information, call 1-800-450-4457 or
go to www.CatholicCharitiesND.org
Mission Statement
Guided by our values, Catholic Charities North Dakota serves
people in need and advocates for the common good of all.
three
We are Never Alone
G
oing on a pilgrimage to
an apparition site of the
Blessed Mother had long
been a dream of mine, and it came
true in one 10 day trip to Rwanda
this summer. There was a hurdle I needed to
get over to make the trip, that of a
fear of traveling alone to a foreign
country. By joining a group, travel
details in Rwanda were covered. I
also connected with a couple who
would meet me in Chicago and we
would fly the rest of the way to Kigali
together. I was ready to go!
Once seated on the plane in
Fargo, the pilot informed us of a
windstorm in Chicago. However,
once we landed safely in Chicago, I
learned my travel partners’ flight had
been canceled. They were running
a day late. This meant that one of
my initial fears was a reality: I would
be flying all the way to Kigali alone.
programs into one single sentence it
would simply state: “We are never
alone.” Isn’t that the great fear that
people face when they turn to us
for help? A woman expecting a
child without family support, finds
a shoulder to lean on as she makes
decisions for herself and her child.
Someone struggling with difficulties
in life needs assistance to navigate
the road ahead; counseling staff with
a compassionate heart and ear is
right around the corner. People with
developmental disabilites sometimes
is unable to make good decisions for
themselves. This is where a court
appointed guardian can help. W hen the angel Gabr iel
announced the birth of the Messiah,
Mary and Joseph were told they
should call him Emmanuel. The
name means “God is with us.” God
lives within our hearts and chooses
to use our hands when we lift each
’ve been on the Board of other up during dark times. Being
Directors of Catholic Charities the eyes and hands of Jesus should
of North Dakota for the past 3 always be our goal so that people
years. If I was to sum up all of the realize they are never alone. That
I
Remembered in Prayer
Brian Herding
Chairman
Board of Directors
is what Catholic Charities North
Dakota is all about.
A
fter receiving the call in
Chicago, I got a text message
from my sister saying: “I’m
glad you are not alone now.” I
remained positive in my response
even as my stomach churned. As
I boarded the plane and sat down,
God had a gift in store. Two young
people in their mid twenties were
traveling to Belgium, my first stop. As the stories flowed about where we
were going and why, my fears started
to subside. I left them after we landed in
Brussels; on the airport shuttle, I
started a conversation with the a
woman who was the 1978 NDSU
Homecoming Queen! She became
my companion to Kigali.
One of my fears developed, but
with the help of God, it became a
memory of his grace and protection. May we, at Catholic Charities
North Dakota, be a sign of God’s
grace and protection during the times
of trial in people’s lives. Fred Arnason, a Board Member who completed his second term on the Board in May, died
August 15, 2012 after a fire in his home. Mr. Arnason was a retired attorney from Grand
Forks.
four
Making Dreams Come True
The Adults Adopting Special Kids program at Catholic Charities North Dakota builds permanency for children
from foster care through adoption by stable and nurturing families. Stability, consistency, patience, support and
love are key ingredients for prospective adoptive families. To learn more about any of these three young men, and
make their dreams of a Forever Family come true, go to the AASK website at www.aasknd.org and click on the
Kids and Family tab, or call 701-235-4457 for more information.
Meet Austin, Michael and RJ. They are currently waiting for their forever family through the Adults Adopting
Special Kids Program at Catholic Charities North Dakota.
Austin is a 12 year old boy
who enjoys video games,
swimming and riding his
bike and claims to be a
“meat and potatoes” kind
of guy.
Child’s Play
Michael is a 15 year old
who enjoys Batman and
spaghetti. His dreams
involve becoming a chef
and hopes to cook for his
forever family one day.
Raymond (RJ) is a big
dreamer who loves
basketball and dreams of
being an NBA player some
day. He’s excited about
findng his forever family.
Continued from Page 1
mother. Later, his younger brother, mother, and he attended family counseling. After several months of play
therapy, Jon learned how to express his feelings verbally.
With the help of his mom and the therapist, he applied his new skills in the classroom. He was able to
decrease his outbursts in class and learned to express his feelings through play instead of yelling and threatening
others. He even was more focused with the schoolwork and successfully completed the school year. In addition
he had become friends with several of his classmates.
The services provided by Catholic Charities Counseling Services have a life altering impact on our clients.
Our comprehensive approach to mental health care is designed to not only treat the individual but to address the
family as well.
See Child Therapy, Page 6
five
Planning for the Future
As we approach the end of the year, it’s a great time to look to the future and see how
Colleen Hardy
you can continue to help us in changing lives. In a study done in 2007, it was determined that
Director of
$308.61 billion will transfer to families, heirs, charities, estate taxes, estate fees, and accelerated
Development
lifetime divestiture of assets from 2007-2061. Including Catholic Charities North Dakota in your estate plan can
have significant tax benefits for you and your family, while allowing your legacy of changing lives to live on. Some
of these tools include bequests, charitable gift annuities, charitable annuity trusts and charitable unitrusts to name
a few. Be sure to visit with your lawyer, tax planner or financial planner to come up with the plan that suits you
best. To visit about ways you can help at our agency, call Colleen Hardy, Director of Development and Community
Relations at 701-235-4457 or [email protected].
Annual Celebration takes place
Catholic Charities North Dakota’s Annual Celebration was held on Tuesday, October 9 at the Ramada Plaza
Inn and Suites in Fargo, ND. The featured speaker was Miss North Dakota, Rosie Sauvageau, who spoke about
what being adopted meant to her, and then performed her own piano arrangement of a selection by Elton John.
The 2012 Caritas Award was presented to Mary Pat Jahner from Saint Gianna’s Maternity Home in Warsaw,
North Dakota, which provides a home for women expecting a child, and for the woman and her child for up to
three years after the child’s birth.
The recipients of two $500 Hassing Scholarships, awarded to college juniors or seniors who intend to work
in the Social Work profession, were announced. Rachael Ritzke is a senior at Minot State University and Nicole
Badar is a junior at Minnesota State University in Moorhead.
Thank you to all who attended our Celebration!
What is Child Therapy?
When children experience trauma they are often
unable to talk about the experience because their mental
processes to judge, reason, perceive or remember are not
fully developed. The unexpressed emotions are often
expressed as aggression, emotional outbursts, lying, or
withdrawal. Parents will bring their child in because
of inappropriate behaviors. When we look at these
behaviors as signals to what the child is experiencing,
we can put together a treatment plan that fits their
unique needs.
Children use play to process concepts that they
cannot verbalize because play is the natural language
of children (Landreth, 1991). Children use play to
represent their experiences and views of themselves,
others, and the world. In fact, Vygotsky (1967)
found that children process in play at a higher level of
cognitive development than what is consistent with their
age. Therefore, play in therapy allows for higher level
six
processing of troubling issues than would be available
through talking alone. Play therapy is a process that
involves more than just talking to a child while they
play with toys. It involves advanced instruction in nondirective and directive play therapy approaches which
may include sandtray therapy, art therapy, music therapy,
or the use of toys such as dolls and puppets.
Mary Jo Andersen, LPCC, NCC has recently
completed training in play therapy and is able to provide
this additional therapy to Catholic Charities’ treatment
of children and families. We have received generous
donations of therapeutic toys, dolls, and art supplies.
In addition, the Knights of Columbus of Nativity
Parish, Fargo, donated funds for the purchase of a
Sandtray so that sandplay is available to Catholic
Charities’ clients. Additional supplies are still needed
for the play therapy room and donations are always
welcome.
Thank you to All of our Donors
We are grateful to the many individuals and groups whose generosity makes our work possible.
Annunciation Priory
Bank of the West
Diocese of Bismarck, Chancery
Knights of Columbus, Nativity
Steven Curtis Chapman
Catholic Daughters
of the Americas
FirstChoice Clinic
Harvey Right to Life
Holy Family Catholic Church
IBM Employee Services Center
Microsoft Corporation
Matching Gifts Program
North Dakota Catholic
Conference
St. Catherine Church-Valley City
St. Gianna’s Maternity Home
Sts. Anne & Joachim Church
Sisters of Mary of the Presentation
Sisters of St. Francis
Village Family Service Center
Loretta and Leo Althoff
Marjory and Myron Atkinson
Patricia and Ronald Barta
Karen Bergstad
Barbara and Larry Bernhardt
Ms. Rebecca Bialosky
Susan and Matthew Brandjord
Fr. H. Gerard Braun
Laura Breen
Doris and Gib Bromenschenkel
Carol Brooks
Sylvia and George Calkins
Geraldine and Darrell Cariveau
Sylvia and Gaylord Carpenter
Fr. Martin Cullen
Judy and Dale Degenstein
Jane and Todd Dickerson
Dora I. Diepolder
Patrice and Daniel Dietz
Rosalie and Patrick Dingus
Christopher Dodson
Virginia and Albert Dolajak
Dorothy and Dave Downton
Catherine Duffy
Ms. Terri Eckroth
Estate of Anne and James Ryan
Ms. Casie Ewalt
Joanne and Rodger Fewell
Terri and Kaylin Frappier
Ms. Delores Friedt
Colette and Mel Gauslow
Fr. William Gerlach
Connie and Dennis Glueckert
Ms. Nikki Goral
Charlotte and Gary Griffeth
Msgr. Val Gross
Becky and John Halland
Becky and John Hardy
Linda Hastings
Janet and Dwight Hendrickson
Denise Henschel
Louise and Robert Hesler
Corliss and Joseph Hizinski
Debora and James Hoffert
Julie and Jefferie Hoffman
Andree and Richard Horst
Sharon and Jim Hughes
Debra and Roger Jaeger
Bridget and Daniel Jerome
Karla and Jeffrey Johnson
Delores H. Johnson
Tribute and Memorial Gifts
In Honor of
By
Peter Edwards’ retirement from
Catholic Charities ND
Melissa and Brandon Johnson
Dolores Normandin
Lynn and Deacon Math Prom
Megan Mei MiaXian Weiss
Richel and Brian Weiss
Bill Marti
Joseph Donaldson
Fr. Dale Lagodinski’s
40th Anniversary
Mary Anne and
Deacon Conrad Schuster
In Appreciation of
By
Bishop Samuel Aquila, for his
service to the Diocese of Fargo Carolyn Williams-Foell
Lives saved from abortion
Judy and Merton Beaudrie
Staff of Catholic Charities
and the good work they do
Roberta and Richard Johnson
Gifts were given from April 16, 2012 through September 30, 2012.
Mavis and Harley Jundt
Colleen and Paul Samson
Fr. Jared Kadlec
R. L. Sauvageau
Lori and Elvis Kadrmas
Mary Schmidt
Yvonne and Tim Kapfhamer
Connie and Jason Schneider
Carol and Rick Kasper
Patricia and Deacon
David Keller
Doyle Schulz
Marcia and Ralph Kilzer
Germaine Perkerewicz-Schultz
Laurie and Phil Kraemer
and Raymond Schultz
Cindy and Aaron Krauter
Jeanne and Gary Schumacher
Cheryl and Gordon Krech
Laverne Seefeld
Linda and Albert Kuntz
Marc E. Sheehan
Sheila and Paul Leier
Fr. Bill Sherman
Fr. Donald Leiphon
Jane and George Sinner
Barbara A. Lies
Clay J. Sobolik
Shelby Loftsgard
Sharon and Vern Solum Jr.
Luther Family Ford
Lisa and Marlyn Staiger
JoAnne and Jim Lyons
Rita and Donald Steidl
Sharon Maier
Bonnie Steiner
Debby and Mike Marback
Fr. Leo Stelten
Sara Marcis
Gail and Laurice Streyffeler
Rev. T. Richard Marcis
Alice and Don Such
Thomas Marcis
Mrs. Shirley Suda
David Marcis
Ms. Dorothy Taylor
Tammy and Kevin Martian
Pamela and Kenneth Tokach
Susan and Douglas Mormann
Elizabeth Tyree
Mr. and Mrs. Paul A. Morth
Gerald W. Vande Walle
Carol and Robert Muscha
Msgr. Wendelyn Vetter
Msgr. Allan Nilles
Sharmae and Richard Vetter
Rosalyn Norstedt
Stephanie Vetter-Topp
Karen and Doug Olschlager
Mary Ann and Cyril Votava
Amy and David Overby
Norma and Donald Wehri
Marlys and Ronald Parrish
Colleen and Charles Wehri
Sarah and Eric Pegors
Dianne and Patrick Weir
Ruth C. Phalen
Cindy and Rodger Wetzel
Molly and Jacob Rodenbiker
Barb and Kurt Witteman
Margaret & James Rundlett-Doom Most Rev. Paul A. Zipfel
In Memory of
By
Odell Mildenberger
Arthur Mildenberger
Dan Smith
Diane and Howard Trapp
Kenneth Kohler
Diane and Howard Trapp
Kenneth Kohler
Margaret and Lloyd Thilmony
Frank Wolf
Margaret and Lloyd Thilmony
Helene Arnason
Fred Arnason
John Sang
Joan and Roger Kieffer
Eddy Kline
Elaine Kline
Sharon Bonesness
Marlene and Kevin Svingen
Dean Calkins
Anna Calkins
Vince Steffan
Karen and Michael Grosz
Matt Grosz
Karen and Michael Grosz
Michael Bjorgen
Lori and Wade Bjorgen
Clara Ronningen
Donna Mrozla
August Smith
Marion Smith
Deacon Gerald Sobolik Shirley Sobolik
Emma Rundlett
Vicki and Ron Wiisanen
Nancy Marsden
Joan and Peter Edwards
Doris Langowski
Stanley Langowski
Fred Arnason
Jill Petersen
seven
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0ffice locations
• 919 7th St. S, Ste 607
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(701) 255-1793
• 5201 Bishops Blvd, Ste B
Fargo 58104-7605
(701) 235-4457
• 311 4th St. S, Ste 105
Grand Forks 58201
(701) 775-4196
• 216 S Broadway, Ste 103
Minot 58701
(701) 852-2854
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Find your P’s and Q’s and More
Catholic Charities North
Dakota’s “P’s & Q’s and More…
Auction” features heirloom
quality quilts and fantastic
purses, as well as ser vice,
sporting and entertainment
packages in both live and silent
auctions. In its 3rd year, this
event hosted 130 guests and
raised more than $12,000; and
we continue to grow! This year
our Auction will be held on
Monday, April 8th, 2013 at the
Fargo Hilton Garden Inn.
Tickets for this fun wine and appetizer event are $20 each or two for
$30. If you would like to reserve your tickets, make a cash or in-kind
donation, or have any questions regarding the Auction or any of the
programs of Catholic Charities North Dakota, please call Sarah Ries
at 701-235-4457 or contact via e-mail at sries@catholiccharitiesnd.
org . You may also visit our website at www.CatholicCharitiesND.org.