the april
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START
NO
Are you poor and
hungry and stuff?
Do you dye your hair
“interesting” colors?
YES
Do you like to shoot
squirrels in the eye?
YES
NO
Do you want to kill
all the other tributes?
YES
NO
Are you like, really
really mean?
NO
Are you good at
archery?
EFFIE
TRINKET
Can you break people’s
necks really well?
Y
A OU
RE
Does your closet imitate Nicki Minaj’s?
Are you a
really good
older sibling?
NO
Can you climb
trees like a
squirrel?
CATO
(DISTRICT 2)
Do you want to find the perfect Prom date?
Are you tired of wasting your school dances on
lame dates who can’t dance and take bad pictures?
Well here’s the solution. Follow these rules and
have the best prom date of your life!
1. Make sure you and your date have complementing skin tones. If you’re super pale and they’re
bright orange then it’ll look like you took a pumpkin
to prom.
2. Make sure you’ll still be taller than your
date when she’s in heels. Girls love to wear freakishly tall heels so make sure you are at least 6
inches taller than her so you have some wiggle
room.
3. Don’t go with pity dates. If you’re out of
their league, just say “No way!!!” and all will be
well.
4. Look back at your possible date’s Facebook
pictures of past dances. If they looked good, you’re
set, if not....ehhh.
Do you enjoy baking
and frosting cakes
and pastries?
YES
NO
Are you part rock?
YES
YES
YES
YES
NO
YES
Do you live in a really
expensive city?
Y
A OU
RE
Are you obsessed
with carbs?
NO
YES
NO
Are you named after a
pocket of bread?
YES
YES
KATNISS
EVERDEEN
YOU
ARE
Are you the next Picasso?
(Do you enjoy painting?)
PEETA
MELLARK
YO
AR U
E
Need money quick?! Have to pay off an
angry mobster ASAP?! Hopefully not, but if you
do want to save up money for a big purchase,
here are some ways to do that!
1. Get a job! (LOL JK)
2. Sell your clothes to thrift stores! You’ll
get money! You may not want them but some
lonely hipster will!!
3. Sell your kidney or other body parts on
eBay! Or better yet, Craigslist! (We don’t actually
advocate this.)
4. Fire your housekeeper and clean your
house for money!
5. Stop going out to lunch every day!
6. Go on a reality show and eat weird bugs
for stranger’s entertainment! (And money!)