Song No 1 - The Christmas Cracker Factory
Chorus 1:
Welcome to the Christmas Cracker factory,
Welcome to our Christmas Cracker show;
With multicoloured party hats and really awful jokes; (Groan!)
Come and see the factory and bring your folks!
Verse 1
Christmas Crackers, Christmas Crackers,
C. R. A. C. K. E. R. S!
Christmas Crackers, Christmas Crackers,
Can we pull one? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Repeat Verse 1
Chorus 2:
Group 1: Pull................ Bang!
Group 2: Pull................ Bang!
Group 1: Pull................ Bang!
Group 2: Pull................ Bang!
Group 1: Pull................ Bang!
Group 2: Pull................ Bang!
Group 1: Pull…………..….Bang!
Group 2: Pull………………Bang!
Chorus 1:
Welcome to the Christmas Cracker factory,
Welcome to our Christmas Cracker show;
With multicoloured party hats and really awful jokes; (Groan!)
Come and see the factory and bring your folks!
Verse 2
Christmas Crackers, Christmas Crackers,
Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack!
Christmas Crackers, Christmas Crackers,
Santa's got some in his sack!
Repeat Verse 2
Chorus 2:
Group 1: Pull................ Bang!
Group 2: Pull................ Bang!
Group 1: Pull................ Bang!
Group 2: Pull................ Bang!
Group 1: Pull................ Bang!
Group 2: Pull................ Bang!
Group 1: Pull…………..….Bang!
Group 2: Pull………………Bang!
Chorus 1:
Welcome to the Christmas Cracker factory,
Welcome to our Christmas Cracker show;
With multicoloured party hats and really awful jokes; (Groan!)
Come and see the factory and bring your folks!
Verse 3
Christmas Crackers, Christmas Crackers,
C. R. A. C. K. E. R. S!
Christmas Crackers, Christmas Crackers,
Can we pull one? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Christmas Crackers, Christmas Crackers,
C. R. A. C. K. E. R. S!
Christmas Crackers, Christmas Crackers,
Can we pull one? Can we pull one? Can we pull one?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Song No 2 - The Joy of Bringing Happiness at Christmas
Chorus:
Oh the joy of bringing happiness at Christmas,
Oh the joy of bringing happiness to family and friends,
Oh the joy of giving presents
For to give is to receive;
Oh the joy of bringing happiness
On Christmas Day or Christmas Eve
Oh the joy of bringing happiness at Christmas,
Oh the joy of bringing happiness to all.
Verse 1
Time for laughter,
Time for sharing,
Time for giving,
Time for joy;
Time for friendship,
Time for love,
Time for happiness,
For every girl and boy.
Repeat Chorus and Verse 1
Verse 2
Oh the joy of bringing happiness at Christmas,
Oh the joy of bringing happiness tonight;
Oh the joy of bringing happiness at Christmas,
Oh the joy of bringing happiness, bringing happiness
Bringing happiness tonight.
Song No 3 - The Hat Game Song
Verse 1
Pull, pull your Christmas cracker - BANG!
And take; take out the party hat
Put the hat upon your head
And give; give it a little pat.
When; When there's no-one looking - Shhhh!
Take off your party hat
Last one whose got their hat on's out
And that's that!
Chorus 1
Put on your hat! Take off your hat!
Put on your hat! Take off your hat!
On1 Off! On! Off! On! Off! On! Off!
On! Off! On! Off! And that's that!
Repeat Verse 1
Chorus 2 - (Groups 1 and 2 as a round)
Put on your hat! Take off your hat!
Put on your hat! Take off your hat!
On1 Off! On! Off! On! Off! On! Off!
On! Off! On! Off! And that's that!
Verse 3 - (Groups 1 and 2 as a round)
Pull, pull your Christmas cracker - BANG!
And take; take out the party hat
Put the hat upon your head
And give; give it a little pat.
When; When there's no-one looking - Shhhh!
Take off your party hat
Last one whose got their hat on's out
And that's that!
Chorus 3 - (Groups 1 and 2 as a round)
Put on your hat! Take off your hat!
Put on your hat! Take off your hat!
On1 Off! On! Off! On! Off! On! Off!
On! Off! On! Off! And that's that!
And that's that! And that's that!
Song No 4 - The Flounce!
Verse 1
Strop! Strop!
Stropity Strop! Strop!
Stropity Strop! Strop! Strop!
Stamp! Stamp!
Stampity Stamp! Stamp!
Stampy Mc-Stamp-Face, Stamp!
Tantrum alarm!
Tantrum alert!
’S'not fair!"
We’re cross and hurt!
Tantrum alarm!
Tantrum alert!
’S'not fair!"
We've been kicked in the dirt!
Chorus
Flounce! Flounce! Flounce! Flounce!
Flouncy! Flouncy! Flounce! Flounce!
Flouncy Mc-Flounce-Face! Flounce!
Strop! Strop!
Strop! Strop!
Stroppy! Stroppy Strop! Strop!
Stroppy! Stroppy Strop! Strop!
Stroppy Mc-Strop-Face! Strop!
Repeat from beginning
Song No 5 - Growing Old Disgracefully
Verse 1
We know that we're not young any more,
Not even middle aged (whatever that means!)
We know that we're not young any more,
But we refuse to leave the stage:
Chorus 1.
We're growing old disgracefully
So we're rockin' and we're rollin'
And we're doin' our thing!
We're growing old disgracefully
So we're rockin' and we're rollin'
And we're havin' a sing
We're growing old disgracefully
Though it stretches all our muscles quite painfully!
We're growing old disgracefully
And nobody will stop us living life with a zing!
Verse 2
We know that we've got grandchildren now:
We give them lots of sweets (not that we ought to!)
We fall asleep when watching TV,
And we dribble through false teeth.
Chorus 2
We're growing old disgracefully
So we're rockin' and we're rollin'
And we're doin' our thing!
We're growing old disgracefully
So we're rockin' and we're rollin'
And we're havin' a sing
We're growing old disgracefully
Though it make our knees and ankles ache painfully!
We're growing old disgracefully
And nobody will stop us living life with a zing!
Instrumental Break
Verse 3
Though stereotypes are all very nice,
There's one we can't accept (not even slightly!)
When young folk say old age is no fun,
It is a statement we reject:
Chorus 3
We're growing old disgracefully
So we're rockin' and we're rollin'
And we're doin' our thing!
We're growing old disgracefully
So we're rockin' and we're rollin'
And we're havin' a sing
We're growing old disgracefully
Though it hurts our bones and ligaments painfully!
We're growing old disgracefully
And nobody will stop us living life with a zing!
Song No 6 - It’s Sad
Chorus
It's sad when something good is over;
It's sad when something good is ended;
It's sad when things which bring happiness and joy
Are broken and can't be repaired or mended;
It's sad when something good is over;
It's sad when something beautiful is gone.
Verse
Sadly we sing of our sorrow;
All will be different tomorrow;
We wish there was something that we could do,
We so want to find our that this is not true,
Chorus
It's sad when something good is over;
It's sad when something good is ended;
It's sad when things which bring happiness and joy
Are broken and can't be repaired or mended;
It's sad when something good is over;
It's sad when something beautiful is gone.
It's sad when something beautiful is gone.
It's sad when something beautiful is gone.
Song No 7 - The Cracker Factory (And Those Jokes)
Verse 1
You work at the factory
And we’ll make the jokes;
They’ll be so terrible
They might make you choke!
Repeat Verse 1
Chorus:
Factory, Factory; the Christmas Cracker factory,
Factory, Factory; wheels spinning round:
Factory, Factory; welcome to our factory,
Factory, Factory; the finest to be found.
Verse 2
Group 1: Where does Santa go when he's ill?
Group 2: To the elf centre!
All: Groan! Oh! Groan! No!
Group 1: What do you call Santa's little helpers?
Group 2: Subordinate clauses!
All: Groan! Oh! Groan! No!
Group 1: Why did the turkey join the band?
Group 2: Because it had the drumsticks!
All: Groan! Groan! Oh! Groan! No!
Group 1: What do you call a cat in the desert?
Group 2: Sandy Claws!
Repeat Verse 1 and Chorus
Group 1: What is the best thing to put in a Christmas cake?
Group 2: Your teeth!
All: Groan
Group 1: What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Group 2: Stick with me and we'll go places!
All: Stop! Stop! Too much!
Group 1: Where are the Andes?
Group 2: At the end of the armies!
All: Help! Enough!
Group 1: Why can't a bike stand up by itself?
Group 2: It's too tired!
All: Aaarghh!
Verse 3 (Repeated by groups 1 to 4 as a round)
You work at the factory
And we’ll make the jokes;
They’ll be so terrible
They might make you choke!
Chorus:
Factory, Factory; the Christmas Cracker factory,
Factory, Factory; wheels spinning round:
Factory, Factory; welcome to our factory,
Factory, Factory; the finest to be found.
Coda:
Group 1: Do buses run on Sundays?
Group 2: No, they run on wheels! Hah!
Reprise Song No. 1 Welcome to the Christmas Cracker Factory