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The Brain –
friend or foe in a
changing
environment?
Session 3 in the
Leading Transition Series
facilitated by Bronwyn Cross
BC Learning Solutions Pty Ltd
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
THE “TRIUNE” BRAIN ............................................................................ 4
RESPONSES UNDER THREAT .................................................................. 8
REACT OR RESPOND ............................................................................ 10
INTRODUCTION TO MINDFULNESS...................................................... 11
STAGES OF CHANGE ............................................................................ 12
RESPONSES TO CHANGE ...................................................................... 13
FEELINGS ASSOCIATED WITH CHANGE AT WORK ............................... 14
CHANGE VS TRANSITION .................................................................... 15
CHANGE MANAGEMENT ....................................................................... 16
CHANGE LEADERSHIP.......................................................................... 16
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ................................................................ 17
THE GETTING OF WISDOM .................................................................. 18
THE NATURE OF TRUE DIALOGUE ........................................................ 19
TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERSHIP – BEING CONGRUENT .................. 20
USING THE RAS ................................................................................... 21
4MAT MODEL – MCCARTHY AND KOLB ................................................. 22
EMPOWERING QUESTIONS .................................................................. 23
QUESTIONS UNDER PRESSURE ............................................................ 24
THE GROW COACHING MODEL ............................................................. 25
FRAMING ............................................................................................. 26
MORE ABOUT FRAMING ....................................................................... 27
REFRAMING......................................................................................... 28
UNCERTAINTY AND REAPPRAISAL ...................................................... 29
CIRCLES OF INFLUENCE AND CONCERN .............................................. 30
SOURCES OF POWER ........................................................................... 33
DECISION TREE ................................................................................... 34
FAULTY THINKING .............................................................................. 35
FEAR OF FAILURE AND FEAR OF SUCCESS ........................................... 45
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY MEANS… .................................................... 46
CONSCIOUS AND UNCONSCIOUS EMPLOYEES ..................................... 47
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USEFUL PRESUPPOSITIONS FOR THE ACHIEVEMENT OF EXCELLENCE. 48
EFFECTIVE – DEVELOP – ACTION(S) ................................................... 52
RELATED READING .............................................................................. 53
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The “Triune” Brain
1. The Brainstem
2. The Limbic area
3. The Cortex
Acknowledgement to Siegel, Daniel J. MD, 2009, Mindsight: Change your brain and your life, Scribe, Melbourne
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The notes below have been taken from Daniel J. Siegel’s book “Mindsight:
Change Your Brain and Your Life” and from David Rock’s book “Your Brain at
Work”.
The Brainstem
 Sometimes called the “reptilian brain”
 Receives input from the body and sends input back to regulate basic
processes such as functioning of the heart and lungs
 Shapes the energy levels of the brain areas above it (i.e. limbic and cortical
regions)
 In certain conditions clusters of neurons require rapid mobilisation of energy
distribution (i.e. flight/fight/freeze) – responsible for our survival in times of
danger
 Brainstem is fundamental to “motivational systems” that help satisfy basic
needs for food, shelter, reproduction and safety
The Limbic System
 Evolved when small mammals first appeared (around 200 million years ago)
 Works with brainstem and body to create basic drives and emotions
 Evaluates the current situation with a question “Is this good or bad?” and
directs movement “towards” or “away” accordingly (e.g. motion =
movement thus E(voke)motion = emotion
 We act in response to the meaning assigned to whatever is happening in the
moment (i.e. move towards primary rewards and move away from primary
threats)
 Is crucial for how we form relationships and become attached to one
another (essential for survival for mammals)
 Tracks emotional relationship to thoughts, objectives, people and events.
 Drives behaviour (often unconsciously)
 Regulates hypothalamus (via pituitary gland sends and receives hormones
(e.g. stress releases cortisol)
 Helps us create different forms of memory (e.g. amygdala – fear,
hippocampus – feelings about facts)
 Hippocampus is the “puzzle piece assembler” – brings together perception,
facts, language etc. (i.e. human story telling ability).
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 Gets aroused in a wide range of situations that vary from person to person,
sometimes called our “hot spots” (i.e. “pushing someone’s buttons”). These
are patterns of experience stored in the limbic system and tagged as
dangerous.
 An over-aroused limbic system reduces the resources available for pre-frontal
cortex functions (e.g. remembering, understanding, deciding, memorizing
and inhibiting)
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The Cortex
 Outer layer, “new mammalian brain” or neo-cortex
 Expanded with appearance of primates, and especially with human beings
 Has intricate firing patterns to represent three dimensional world, ideas,
concepts, ability to “think about thinking”
 Also is our map maker of our physical experience, keeping track of location
and movement (e.g. learning skills), motor control, enables us to interact with
our physical environment
 Pre-frontal cortex enables us to create representation of concepts such as
time, sense of self and moral judgments
 Middle pre-frontal enables us to pause before we act, have insights and
empathy, and enact moral judgments
Acknowledgement to Siegel, Daniel J. MD, 2009, Mindsight: Change Your Brain and Your Life, pp15-20, Scribe, Melbourne.
Acknowledgement to Rock, David, 2009, Your Brain at Work, pp103-110, HarperCollins, New York.
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Responses Under Threat
In their book “Everyone Can Win” Cornelius and Faire identify three responses that
may occur when a person is “under threat”:
 Fight
 Flight
 Freeze
They also outline typical behaviours that occur in each category of response.
Fight












Explode
Shout
Intimidate
Interrupt
Insist I’m right
Keep explaining my point
Tell them how to behave
Nag
Call on others to back me up
Issue ultimatums
Get even
Make sarcastic comments
Flight










Run out the door before anything’s resolved
Hope the problem will go away if I do nothing
Hold back my opinions to prevent more conflict
Withdraw emotionally until they change their mind
Become cranky, but say nothing about the problem
Tell myself it doesn’t matter anyway
Complain – but only behind their back
Act overly polite
Take it out on the wrong person
Give in reluctantly
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Freeze









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Go silent
Can’t think what to say
Accept physical or verbal abuse
Not stand up for myself
Walk on eggshells so as not to arouse their anger
Get depressed or sick
Try not to draw attention to myself
Pretend the attack didn’t happen
Become operational again by suppressing my fear
Maintain peace by denying there’s a problem
Taken from Cornelius, Helen and Faire, Shoshana, 2003, Everyone Can Win, Second Edition, Simon & Schuster, Australia.
How do you respond to stressful situations?
When under threat what is your most common response?
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React or Respond
REACT
To behave impulsively, you feel you
can’t control your behaviour
RESPOND
Behave thoughtfully, you are in
command and not “swept away”
Taken from Cornelius, Helen and Faire, Shoshana, 2003, Everyone Can
Win, Second Edition, Simon & Schuster, Australia.
Personal Reflection
 What are YOUR triggers?
CHOICE
Let the other person vent
Use restraint
Breath slowly
Manage tone
Select words
REACT
RESPOND
-
-
Voice gets louder
Speak faster
Tense muscles
Get defensive
Retaliate
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 What are the specific
reactions you have
traditionally had to these
triggers?
 How can you now choose to
respond?
 Which specific strategies will
you practise?
 How will you know that the
strategies are working?
 What will be your indicators
that you are being more
confident, calm and
professional?
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Introduction to Mindfulness
Dr Craig Hassed (MBBS FRACGP) works with Monash University Department of
General Practice and trains medical students (and faculty members from a variety
of faculties in tertiary institutions) in mindfulness-based stress management. With
background as a GP and academic he is able to help people to develop
practical techniques in a way that does not appear “mysterious” or inaccessible.
Being mindful and simply observing what is happening with the body and the
mind – without judgement, without evaluation, without commentary – helps bring
the attention to the present moment. Practical tips and techniques are described
in Dr Hassed’s book Know Thyself.
Notes and reminders from group activity
Hassed, C., 2002, Know Thyself: The Stress Release Program, Michelle Anderson Publishing Pty Ltd, Australia.
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Stages of Change
1 - DENIAL




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Shutdown Response
Self Doubt
They don’t really mean it
It can’t happen here
I don’t believe it
2 - RESISTANCE





3 - EXPLORATION

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Renewed energy
Motivation
Thinking positively
Learning how to learn
Flexibility
1 - DENIAL
3 - EXPLORATION
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Anxiety
Loss of concentration
Difficulty in sleeping
Confusion
General negative attitude
4 - MASTERY
Commitment
Focus
Co-operation
Acknowledge your
accomplishments
 Confidence




2 - RESISTANCE
4 - MASTERY
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Responses to Change
S
A
R
A
H
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Feelings Associated with Change at Work
Emotion
Fear
(generally relates to
future
expectations)
Anger
(often relates to
present situation)
Sadness
(can relate to the
past or present
situation)
Joy
(can relate to
future expectations,
present or past
events)
Feelings Associated with
Emotion





uneasiness and apprehension
anxiety
worry
restlessness
feelings of panic and dread
can lead to:
 reduced self-confidence
 reduced self-esteem
 confusion
 stress
 irritability
 frustration
 short temperedness
 increased arguments at home
and work
 restlessness
 rage
can lead to:
 depression
 headaches
 stomach upsets
 sleeplessness
 increased blood pressure
 vulnerability
 hurt
 sensitivity
 tearfulness
 preoccupation with loss
 desolation
can lead to:
 depression
 feeling “flat” and
unenthusiastic about life
 contentment
 happiness
 excitement
 euphoria
 elation
unexpressed joy can lead to
depression
Possible Reasons for
Feelings




uncertainty about future
fear of redundancy
fear of not coping
fear of not being
successful in a new
position
 not being involved in
decisions about change
 reduced status
 other people in control of
the situation
 not knowing what is going
on
 lack of control over
situation
 reduced career prospects
 loss of enjoyable aspects
of our job
 not working with the same
team
 not being recognised for
the work we have done
 being able to do
something different
 not having the stress of
management
 being able to review
career
 positive feedback from
manager
 promotion
Taken from Jones, Susan, 1995, Coping with Change at Work, Thorsons, UK.
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Change vs Transition
Change
 Can be defined as an outcome or a new situation, e.g.
the introduction of new equipment, policies,
procedures, a new boss, a new team carrying out
different tasks, a merger, a takeover, redundancies etc.
 Change is external and often people have little control
over the change
Transition
 Transition is the psychological process people go through
in dealing with or coming to terms with the change
 Transition reflects your feelings towards the change
 Transition is internal and people do have control over their
feelings. People have control over how they react
 Transition is a series of phases people travel through in
letting go of the past or old reality and making new beginnings
 How people deal with the transition (psychological process) will vary
dramatically from individual to individual
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Change Management
is about…




planning and organising
problem solving
efficiency and effectiveness
the managing of tasks
and contributes around 20% to successful change
Change Leadership
is about…




vision and strategy
engagement and enthusiasm
adaptation and alignment
the leadership of people
and contributes around 80% to successful change
Taken from Kotter, John P., 1996, Leading Change, Harvard Business School Press, US.
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Emotional Intelligence
At a basic level, EI can be described in four “domains”
 Self awareness of your own behaviours and values
 Self control of your own behaviours
 An awareness of others
 Interactions with others
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The Getting of Wisdom
To gain wisdom we need at least three perspectives…
Other
Person’s
Perspective
Own
Perspective
Situation
The
Witness Observer
Our Perspective
 What are your reactions and responses?
 What is happening with you?
 What meaning are you making of the event / interaction?
Other’s Perspective
 What are his / her reactions and responses?
 What is happening with him / her?
 What meaning could he / she be making of the event / interaction?
Observer’s View
 What new information can you gain from this perspective?
 How would you describe the dynamic from this point of view?
 What can you see from here that neither the other two perspectives can
see?
 What now needs to happen?
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The Nature of True Dialogue
“Dialogue” – “dia” and “logos” meaning “flowing through”
“The respectful two-way, open ended flow of communication
that balances listening and speaking for the purpose of learning”.
Crane, Thomas, 2002, The Heart of Coaching, Second Edition, FTA Press, California.
Using Words to Protect
Using Dialogue to Learn
Listening to argue
Listening to understand
Pointing out faults
Clarifying with questions
Manipulating and controlling others
Respecting, valuing and partnering
with others
Proving one’s “rightness”
Proving one’s commitment to
learning
Locking into positions
Truthfully sharing points of view and
being willing to change them
Changing others
Supporting others
Protecting and defending
Disclosing and being open
Crane, Thomas, 2002, The Heart of Coaching, Second Edition, FTA Press, California.
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Transformational Leadership – Being Congruent
Body /
Physiology
Heart /
Intention
Mind /
Vocabulary
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Using the RAS
The Reticular Activating System is the antennae “inside your
head”. It…





Directs your attention based on your intentions
Tracks for what is important to you
Means you focus on some things and not others
Influences what you believe is possible
Can be described as “glass half full” or “glass half empty”
You can identify where your RAS is “directed” by listening to the “little voice” inside
your head.
Questions to consider…






As a leader, what are your intentions?
Which intentions would be useful and helpful?
Which intentions would be un-useful and counterproductive?
How do you identify where another person’s RAS is directed?
What strategies could you use to re-direct another person’s RAS?
Where are some of the places you might want to direct the other person’s
RAS “TO”?
People can sometimes assume that the “little voice” means the “words in their
head” – therefore it is part of the “vocabulary” corner of the triangle. Sometimes
this is the case and further investigation is useful. In particular it is beneficial to
listen for any “faulty thinking” that may be occurring (see pages 35-44).
In other instances however, the “little voice” is less about thinking and more
about the heart (e.g. what’s “really important”). In these cases, considering
“Sources of Power” may be more appropriate (see page 33).
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4MAT Model – McCarthy and Kolb
WHAT IF / WHAT ELSE?
 risks / consequences
 options / variables
 other questions
HOW?
 the process / method
 quality / measures
 the skill
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WHY?
 the reason / purpose
 benefit to the audience
 motivation for the listener
WHAT?
 the knowledge / content
 data / research
 “the stuff”
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Empowering Questions
A question is empowering if…
 It gives you greater understanding
 It generates new ideas
 It focuses you on solutions (rather than the problem)
 It moves you to action (you actually do something)
 It makes you responsible (e.g. able to respond and believe you
can make a difference)
 It gives you deeper meaning in your life
 It helps you and others to learn something
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Questions Under Pressure
When people are under pressure they tend to revert to habitual responses. How
effective are your responses when you are under pressure?
Less Effective
Attention is on the problem
Looking for someone to blame
Focus is on the past
You hold a meeting about it
You philosophise…asking “why?”
More Effective
Attention is on the solution
Finding someone to help
Focus is on the future
You are motivated to act
You’re pragmatic…asking “how?”
Target your questions to become more effective.
What could we do differently to achieve our desired result?
How can we meet the needs of the university AND the student?
What have we not yet tried? What else could be done?
What specifically IS working for us right now? How can we build on that?
How can I assist others to help me? What can THEY do to make my job
easier?
 How am I currently viewing this situation? Is that the most useful perspective?
 What can I do to make the greatest difference at this point in time?





Notice how each of the above questions start with WHAT or HOW. These words
direct our attention to future action and solutions. WHY questions are valuable
when we want to reflect on the past, to explore possible causes and to
encourage dialogue. When under pressure, when deadlines have to be met,
when action needs to be taken – WHY questions tend to slow you (and others)
down.
Consciously ask WHAT and HOW questions. Ask yourself WHAT and HOW questions
to keep your attention focused on what is possible and can be done now. Ask
people WHAT and HOW questions to direct their attention to what is practical and
most effective. Ask WHAT and HOW questions to initiate solutions-focused
discussions.
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The GROW Coaching Model
Part One: Overview of the Process
GOAL
REALITY
 Agree topic for discussion
 Agree specific objective of session
 Set long term aim if appropriate




WRAP UP




Commit to action
Identify possible obstacles
Make steps specific and define timing
Agree support
Invite self assessment
Offer specific examples of feedback
Avoid or check assumptions
Discard irrelevant history
OPTIONS




Cover the full range of options
Invite suggestions from coachee
Offer suggestions carefully
Ensure choices are made
Part Two: Quality Questioning in the GROW Model
REALITY
GOAL
 What would you like to achieve?
 What is it you would like to discuss?
 What would you like to happen that is
not happening now?
 What outcome would you like from
this session?
 What would need to happen for you
to feel that this session was well spent?
 How would you know when you had
achieved your outcome?
WRAP UP
 What are the next steps?
 Specifically, what will you do and
when?
 What obstacles might there be?
 How will you overcome them?
 What support do you need?
 How will you enlist help?
 What systems will you use to help you?
(e.g. log actions in diary)
 How will you review your progress?
What is happening at the moment?
How do you know that is accurate?
When does this happen?
How often does this happen?
What effect does this have?
What other factors are relevant?
Who else is involved?
What is their perception of the
situation?
 What have you tried so far?








OPTIONS
 What could you do to change the
situation?
 What alternatives are there to that
approach?
 What approaches/actions have you
used in similar situations?
 Who might be able to help?
 What are the benefits / pitfalls of
these options?
 Which options do you like the best?
 How can I help you?
Acknowledgement to Landsberg, Max, 1997, The Tao of Coaching, HarperCollins, Canada.
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Framing
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More About Framing
A frame is a way of establishing boundaries around an idea or a message. It
establishes what the idea / message is about and what it is NOT about. It positions
the idea / message in relation to the other person and the way he / she perceives
or experiences it.
Framing is important to ensure that both people are “talking about the same
thing” and to position the communication to be the most supportive in achieving
the desired outcomes.
As with a picture frame, there are many purposes and benefits in framing your
message. The aim is to develop and use a frame that best meets the needs of the
other person, supports your intentions and outcome, AND
helps both parties move forward together in a positive way.
Some types of frames
History
Review the events in the past which have led up to the
current discussion and set the context for it
Problem
State aspects or areas of the problem or performance gap
and summarise relevant facts
Boundaries
State which areas of service / performance will be
discussed and which will not
Consequences State the consequences to you and / or the other person of
proceeding in the current way OR proceeding in your
recommended way
Purposes
State the expected outcome of the discussion
Next steps
State what you will do if this attempt to bring about change
or “fix” the problem does not work
Positive Intent
Express the positive outcome you’re looking for
Problemsolving steps
State the steps you want to take with the other person to
bring about the required improvement
Adapted from Cole, Kris, 2001, Supervision, Pearson Education, Australia.
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Reframing
Reframing – to change the meaning or response that may be unuseful so that it has a new meaning and new responses are
possible.
Two Types of Frames
Context Reframe
A context reframe changes the meaning of an event so that
when the context is changed the meaning also changes. It is
about identifying in which context a response or behaviour may
(or may not) be relevant. This provides the person with more
options for CONTEXT and they may therefore making a different
meaning or respond differently.
For example, if a person is being authoritative (“bossy”) and this is not appropriate
in a collaborative team environment, rather than negating the behaviour it could
be reframed to highlight that this behaviour IS useful in other contexts (i.e. where
can they best utilise their strengths?). Where is a context where being
authoritative is useful?
Content Reframe
A content reframe changes the meaning so that when the
content changes the meaning also changes. This is used
when a person has made an un-useful meaning out of
information – “I had to move into a smaller flat” (perceived as
a negative thing). This could be reframed to “Great – that
means you will have less cleaning to do” (positive meaning for
the same content).
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Uncertainty and Reappraisal
In “Your Brain at Work” David Rock describes the brain as a prediction machine.
In fact, one of the primary functions of the neo-cortex is prediction. The brain
recognises approximate patterns and makes a “best guess” at what something
means.
When a craving for certainty is met there is a sensation of reward. The ability to
predict and then obtain data that meets those predictions primes the brain to
“move towards” (i.e. perceived as a positive, desirable state). When prediction
cannot be made (e.g. in situations of uncertainty or ambiguity) the brain is alerted
to pay more attention (and is in a state of readiness to “move away”).
A similar process occurs in relation to autonomy. When there is not a sense of
control (i.e. less certainty) there is less ability to predict outcomes. Whilst
individuals may experience varying levels of anxiety about lack of autonomy,
when the anxiety is strong there is uncontrollable stress (i.e. physiological and
emotional responses). One factor that influences a person’s response is the
PERCEPTION of autonomy or “choice”. Studies have indicated that even if we
have the illusion that we are in control, our cognitive functions are preserved (and
this drives our behaviour). The idea of consciously choosing to see a situation
differently (i.e. controlling your interpretation of the meaning of the situation) is
called “reappraisal”.
Handy reminders about reappraisal:
 If we can shift our appraisal, we shift our emotional response
 By labelling an emotion (or re-labelling the interpretation of an emotion) we
can have conscious control over the limbic system
 We can reinterpret an event (i.e. deciding an event is no longer
threatening)… a VERY handy skill for tightrope walkers!
 We can “normalise” a new or unfamiliar situation (e.g. it is “normal” to
experience fear, anxiety or confusion when faced with change)
 We can reorder information (often done when people reprioritise their values,
“what’s important in life”)
 We can adopt another perspective; view the situation from a different
position (e.g. perceptual, physical, in time etc.)
 Reappraisal can be done consciously and deliberately AND it can be done
with humour
Taken from Rock, David, 2009, Your Brain at Work, HarperCollins, New York.
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Circles of Influence and Concern
Brainstorm on this page ALL the things that are on your mind at the moment;






Worries?
Concerns?
Problems?
Issues?
Things you want to change?
Things you wish were different?
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Circle of Concern
Circle of
Influence
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Where do we focus our time and energy?
Stephen Covey believes that analysis and reflection on this can indicate to us how
proactive or reactive we are being in any given situation.
Are we reactive?
Do we focus on things which concern us, yet things over which we have
(relatively) no control? For example, other people’s “faults” or “the state of the
economy”?
Does the little voice in our head have a negative tone, or sound like a victim? For
example:
“There’s nothing I can do”
“That’s just the way I am”
“That person makes me angry”
“I have to do it this way”
“I can’t”
“If only…”
How can we be more proactive?
Responsibility means “the ability to respond”. How can we increase our ability to
respond to the multitude of challenges that are presented to us on a daily basis?
We focus on the things that we CAN change and on issues over which we CAN
have an influence.
Our little voice in our head can be a friend and a guide towards proactivity. For
example:
“Let’s look at the alternatives”
“I can choose a different approach”
“How can I make the best of this situation?”
“I choose”
“I prefer”
“I will”
Acknowledgement to Covey, Stephen, 1993, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Simon & Schuster, London.
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Sources of Power
Vocation /
Career / Job
Wealth
Mental /
Learning
Recreation
Emotional
(physical,
feeling)
Spiritual
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Intimate
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Decision Tree
All
Humanity
Nation
Community /
Organisation
Team / Family
Me
Acknowledgement to Lucca Leadership Trust www.luccaleadership.org
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Faulty Thinking
Susan Tanner and Jillian Ball identify ten (10) “thinking habits” that can weaken
resilience and may contribute to increased stress.
1. Black and White Thinking
Characteristics include…
 Absolute, definite, one way OR the other
 No shades of grey, no middle ground
 Things are either a “success” or “failure”
 Judgements are often “good” or “bad” (as if they are facts)
Your “little voice” might say…
 “I’m a good manager” or “I’m a bad manager”
 “That will / will not work” or “I can / cannot do it” (are milder forms)
 “I must…”, “You have to…”, “They should…” (the language of necessity)
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 Using the language of possibility (maybe, possibly, could, might, may…)
 Remove value judgements (e.g. failure, hopeless, …) and replace with “not
as well as I would have liked” or “I’ll aim for a different result next time…”
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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2. Setting Unrealistic Expectations – Living by Fixed Rules
Characteristics include…
 Inflexible rules or goals
 Setting high and often unattainable goals
 Inflexible about “not” achieving goals (“I must do this”, “this HAS to
happen” etc.)
 Expect to be perfect, without fault (NOTE: this often flows through to low
tolerance of others’ weaknesses and habits)
Your “little voice” might say…
 “I must do this, it HAS to happen…”
 “I shouldn’t be worried about this, I SHOULD be coping…”
 “It’s not good to be so anxious…”
 “I am anxious therefore I am weak…”
 “Other people are anxious therefore they are weak…”
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 Learn to express preferences rather than rules. For example, “I would prefer
it if…” or “I would like to…” or “It would be helpful if…”
 Remove value judgements (e.g. failure, hopeless) and replace with
descriptions such as “it didn’t turn out as well as I would have liked…” or “I’ll
aim for a different result next time…”
 This is especially useful when delegating work – does it REALLY have to be
done 100% the way you would do it?
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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3. Selective Thinking – Looking on the Dark Side
Characteristics include…
 Remembering and dwelling on unpleasant event
 Using this event to “filter” or “colour” your interpretation of
current events
Your “little voice” might say…
 “Last time when this happened…”
 “Other people have it easier than me because…”
 “This is worse because…”
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 When you notice an unpleasant thought about an event, replace it with a
pleasant one
 Write a “gratitude list” – to focus your attention on the things you DO have
in your life, the things that HAVE worked well
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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4. Converting Positives into Negatives – Being a Cynic
Characteristics include…
 Turning a positive into a negative or neutral experience
 Not giving yourself credit for your talents or achievements
Your “little voice” might say…
 “I wonder what that persons’ REAL agenda is?”
 “There must be more to it than this…”
 “It wasn’t really THAT good…”
 “I don’t deserve praise, I really didn’t do much…”
 “If you really knew me you wouldn’t be so positive…”
 “I’m not that great, you don’t know me very well…”
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples
 Be aware when you dismiss praise or compliments
 Give yourself permission to feel pride in your abilities and achievements
 Give yourself credit when something goes well
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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5. Over-Generalising – “Here we go again!”
Characteristics include…
 You expect that because things have gone wrong in the
past, they will continue to do so (e.g. never asking questions
because you were laughed at or someone dismissed your question in the
past…)
 Generalisations apply to people as well as situations (e.g. someone let you
down once so you decide never to trust people, someone was rude to you
so you decide never to engage with them again.)
Your “little voice” might say…
 “I’m an idiot, I’m sure I’ll make another mistake…”
 “I always stuff up…”
 “It’s not worth asking questions in team meetings…people never listen”
 “These types of changes never work…”
 “Whenever we change the roster it always creates problems…”
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 Be more specific with your negative thoughts (e.g. “I made a mistake on
that report” rather than “I’m hopeless at statistics, I’m never doing those
reports again”)
 Ask “fluff busting” questions – What specifically? How specifically?
Compared with what? etc.
 State the specific problem, be precise
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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6. Magnifying or Exaggerating Unpleasantness –
Making Mountains out of Molehills
Characteristics include…
 When you focus on something that may be
uncomfortable and unpleasant – and then exaggerate
these feelings
 For example, you might say “how dreadful, how embarrassing!!!!” if you
slipped and fell up the stairs
Your “little voice” might say…
 “I can’t BELIEVE how bad things are at the moment…”
 “It’s just RIDICULOUS what they expect us to do around here…”
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 Consider objectively the significance or importance of the unpleasant
situation
 Try to distance yourself or take another person’s view of the situation
 Ask yourself “How serious are the consequences?” or “How important will
this be when I’m 80 years old?”
 Reduce the intensity of words used (e.g. instead of “appalled, furious,
devastated” you could say “surprised, nervous, unsure”)
 Have a sense of humour and LAUGH!
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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7. Catastrophising – “Whatever can go wrong will go
wrong in a big way”
Characteristics include…
 This is more extreme than magnifying unpleasantness. It is
about turning situations into life and death issues
 Imagining the “what ifs” until it’s the worst possible scenario
 For example, someone being late means “someone died in a car
accident”, losing your job means “your wife / husband will leave you” etc.
Your “little voice” might say…
 “I’m sure that the worst scenario has happened…”
 “I just KNOW that this will have a negative impact on EVERYONE”
 “This is dreadful and means I’ll be sacked”
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 Become a statistician – think about what is POSSIBLE (.001%) and what is
PROBABLE (above 50% chance of occurring)
 “It’s likely that some people won’t be happy, it doesn’t mean EVERYONE
will HATE my idea”
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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8. Personalising – “It’s all my fault”
Characteristics include…
 Taking responsibility for anything unpleasant
 Blaming yourself
Your “little voice” might say…
 “I know that person is upset because of what I said…”
 “She is having a rough day, I should have done / not done…”
 “He made a mistake, I probably didn’t explain things properly…”
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 Remember that it’s actually NOT all about YOU!!! You do not influence
people and events as much as you may think.
 People are too busy worrying about themselves to be worrying about YOU
– what others think of you is NOT your business
 Remember there are LOTS of reasons why people may feel or behave a
certain way – and they’re not all related to you
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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9. Mistaking Feelings for Facts – “I feel therefore I am”
Characteristics include…
 This thinking style confuses feelings with reality
 Believing that how you are feeling IS how things really ARE
Your “little voice” might say…
 “I am hopeless” (rather than “I feel the situation is hopeless, I’m all out of
ideas”)
 “I’m boring and no one will talk to me”
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 Focus on the facts – remind yourself that feelings are not objective
 E.g. “I feel this situation is challenging, I’m all out of ideas”
 E.g. “I need to come out of my shell and introduce myself to others”
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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10.
Jumping to Negative Conclusions
Characteristics include…
 Drawing a negative conclusion from a situation where
there is no evidence to support it
 There may even be conflicting evidence which you
choose to ignore (e.g. making assumptions about why someone behaves in
a certain way without checking it out first)
 This could also be called “mind reading”
Your “little voice” might say…
 “They OBVIOUSLY weren’t interested in what I was saying….”
 “This isn’t going to work because the research didn’t arrive on time”
 “They were very angry with me” (even though the other person indicated it
was frustration with the situation)
What else does your “little voice” say?



How might this habit be reversed?
Some examples:
 Double check the facts, seek evidence
 Check with an impartial party
 Don’t automatically assume the worst
 If you DO want to make assumptions – ASSUME THE BEST!
Your ideas…



Taken from Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia.
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Fear of Failure and Fear of Success
Fears are powerful urges which can drive us to perform amazing
feats, yet which can also inhibit us from even attempting other
goals. If we are fearful of change we may find that this becomes inhibiting fear,
thus limiting our capacity to respond effectively and usefully to change. There
are two main “flavours” of inhibiting fear.
Fear of Failure
We may be familiar with this taste. We are sometimes afraid to make a
presentation before a large audience, to learn a new skill, or to take on new
challenges. It could be that our fear is we will be criticised or ridiculed – by other
people OR by ourselves – if we fail.
Self Talk may sound like:
 “I had better not try, because if I fail then people will think I’m stupid”
 “If I fail then I’ll think I’m stupid”
 “I tried it before and it didn’t work”
 “If I try something different, people will notice if it doesn’t work”
Fear of Success
This flavour may be a little subtler. It’s about the uncertainly of what will happen if
we succeed. Or sometimes believing that we don’t “deserve” success, or that we
won’t be comfortable if “everyone knows” we are successful.
Self Talk may sound like:
 “I don’t need to change, I’m fine just the way I am.”
 “I don’t deserve to succeed” (e.g. someone or something has convinced
me I’m not worthy)
 “I don’t want to succeed because people will notice me, they’ll expect me
to be good all the time”
 “If I change this time they’ll expect me to change next time, and that will
take effort”
 “It sounds too easy, there must be a trick”
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Taking Responsibility Means…
 Never blaming anyone else for anything you are being,
doing, having or feeling
 Not blaming yourself (you are doing the best you can in any
given moment)
 Being aware of where and when you are NOT taking responsibility so that you
can eventually change (notice when you are playing the “victim”)
 Handling the “chatterbox” (the unhelpful “little voice”)
 Being aware of the payoffs that keep you “stuck” (what are you GAINING by
NOT taking responsibility?)
 Figuring out what you want in life and acting on it (stop waiting for someone
else to give it to you)
 Being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation
Time for Action
 What can YOU do to take responsibility?
 Which vocabulary habits have you already identified?
 What strategies can you use to change your
vocabulary?
 How will you support yourself during the change process?
Taken from Jeffers, Susan, 1987, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Arrow Publishing, Great Britain.
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Conscious and Unconscious Employees
CONSCIOUS PEOPLE…
UNCONSCIOUS PEOPLE…
Take responsibility for their lives
Blame others for their problems
Don’t compromise human values
for material success
Seek immediate gratification regardless
of ethics
Speak the truth
Claim to always be right
Listen to other’s truths with honesty
and respect
Hide signification information
Look for creative solutions to
disagreements
Sweep conflicts under the carpet
Honour their commitments
Negotiate to beat their opponents
In touch with their emotions and
productively express them
Expect to get what they need without
asking
Need to feel acknowledged,
supported and challenged by their
managers
Make irresponsible promises
Don’t honour their commitments
Repress emotions or irrationally explode
In “First, Break All the Rules” Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman analyse The
Gallup Organisation’s 20 years of research and come to the conclusion that;
 only conscious managers can create an environment where employees will
feel engaged
and
 a primary determinant of an organisation’s ability to attract and retain
talented employees is whether (or not) it has conscious leaders.
Taken from Kofman, Fred, 2006, Conscious Business, Sounds True, Boulder.
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Useful Presuppositions for the Achievement of
Excellence
Presuppositions are the attitudes, assumptions, beliefs and philosophies which we
CHOOSE to USE simply because of the consistent results they produce when we
action upon them “AS IF” they were true. They are not what we necessarily hold
to be true, only useful.
Presuppositions
People are not their behaviours
Every behaviour has a positive
intent
Everything anyone does makes
sense to them in that moment
People make the best choice
available to them in any given
moment
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Quality Questions to ask
yourself
 Am I focusing on the person or their
behaviours?
 How can I value the person and
address their behaviour?
 What specifically do I want their
behaviours to be / to look like?
 How can I reinforce the times when
they have behaved well?
 How is this person trying to help me?
 How does this person believe he/she is
contributing to the current situation?
 What else could be a reason for “why”
they are doing this?
 What does this person want to
achieve?
 What is the secondary gain for this
person behaving in this way?
 How would that action make sense to
that person?
 What factors would that person be
considering?
 What questions would I ask so I could
better understand why it made sense to
them?
 What factors were limiting that person
from making a better choice?
 What can I do to help them have more
choices in the future?
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Presuppositions
There are no unresourceful people,
only unresourceful states
Behaviour is geared towards
adaption
People have all the resources they
need
Always add choice, never take
away
Resistance is a sign of insufficient
pacing
There are no resistant people, only
inflexible communicators
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Quality Questions to ask
yourself
 How can I help this person be of a
frame of mind that will help them use
the resources they have?
 How can I change my frame of mind
(attitude) so that I have access to
MORE resources?
 What is it that people are adapting
“to”?
 How can I change the system so that
people are adapting to a consistent
work environment?
 How can I use my observations of
behaviour to help me deal with the
underlying issues?
 How can I help people to “tap into” the
resources they already have?
 How can I access the resources I have
developed over time?
 How can I build useful resources into
habits?
 Which questions can I ask to help
people come up with more options?
 How else can I support people to make
choices?
 What can I do to give variety and
options in my next conversation?
 How can I rephrase my comments to
bring the person back “on board”?
 How else can I explain my message?
 How can I use resistance as a friend, to
help me refine my communication
skills?
 How can I become more flexible in my
communications?
 How many different ways could I have
said that?
 What other resources do I have to help
me communicate my message?
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Presuppositions
You cannot not communicate
You cannot not respond
You cannot not influence
The meaning of my communication
is the response I get
The highest quality communication
is behavioural
For things to change first I must
change
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Quality Questions to ask
yourself
 Even when I don’t say anything, what
am I communicating?
 What non verbal messages have I
communicated today?
 How congruent are my non verbal and
verbal communications?
 What other messages are people
getting from what I do / don’t do?
 If they responded in that way, how did
they interpret what I said?
 How can I use their response as a
feedback tool to track how well I’m
communicating?
 What message did I REALLY
communicate? (from their perspective)
 How closely aligned is what they say
and what they do?
 How closely aligned is what I say and
what I do?
 Specifically how does my behaviour
demonstrate my values and goals?
 How do my actions communicate my
message?
 What messages are my actions
ACTUALLY communicating?
 What will I do differently?
 How will I do it differently?
 What are the consequences if I don’t
change?
 What am I willing to
address/confront/admit in order to
change?
 How will I challenge the way I do
things?
 When will I review and evaluate my
habits?
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Presuppositions
Possible in the world, possible for
me, only a question of how
Law of Requisite Variety – most
flexible part of the system rules that
system
There is no failure, only feedback
Respect the other person’s model of
the world (perspective)
All meaning is contextual
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Quality Questions to ask
yourself
 I know someone else has achieved this.
How will I find out and master their
strategies?
 How can I broaden my knowledge?
 Who can be a role model for
excellence for me?
 Who else can I talk to who is already
great at this? What questions will I ask
them?




How will I increase my flexibility?
Who is controlling the system now?
How rigid am I being in this situation?
How else could I approach this?
 What have I learned from this?
 What can be done more effectively
next time?
 How can I use this to achieve my
goals?
 How can I honour and respect the way
this person sees the world?
 How can I learn more about my own
model of the world?
 In what situations would this be
relevant?
 In what situations would this NOT be
relevant?
 What are the appropriate boundaries
here?
 How can I transfer my communications
across contexts?
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Effective – Develop – Action(s)
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Related Reading
Cole, Kris, 2001, Supervision, Pearson Education, Australia
Cornelius, Helen and Faire, Shoshana, 2003, Everyone Can Win, Second Edition,
Simon & Schuster, Australia
Covey, Stephen, 1993, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Simon &
Schuster, London
Crane, Thomas, 2002, The Heart of Coaching, Second Edition, FTA Press, California
Hassed, C., 2002, Know Thyself: The Stress Release Program, Michelle Anderson
Publishing Pty Ltd, Australia.
Jeffers, Susan, 1987, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Arrow Publishing, Great Britain
Jones, Susan, 1995, Coping with Change at Work, Thorsons, UK
Kofman, Fred, 2006, Conscious Business, Sounds True, Boulder
Kotter, John P., 1996, Leading Change, Harvard Business School Press, US
Landsberg, Max, 1997, The Tao of Coaching, HarperCollins, Canada
Lucca Leadership Trust www.luccaleadership.org
Rock, David, 2009, Your Brain at Work, HarperCollins, New York
Siegel, Daniel J. MD, 2009, Mindsight: Change your brain and your life, Scribe,
Melbourne
Tanner, Susan and Ball, Jillian, 2000, Beating the Blues, Doubleday, Australia
There is also relevant information on www.jiscinfonet.ac.ul/infokits. (Change
Management – Transitions)
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