NON-DUAL AWAKENING THROUGH CAREER CRISIS: Finding Renewed
Meaning and Purpose in the Midst of an Existential Career Crisis
Written by Steven Solodky — Paradoxica: Journal of Nondual Psychology, Vol. 6: Spring
2014
Summary
This article explores key, non-dual awakening themes that arise for both the spiritual seeker
and career counsellor throughout an existential career crisis. It is proposed that there are a
number of stages that the seeker will pass through in order to arrive at a newly chosen career
direction, such as a dark night of the soul and the fear of dying. Several paradoxes are
discussed, which present fertile ground for growth and awakening into non-dual being. These
include allowing oneself to fail, dropping the need for knowledge, and embracing insecurity.
Transition strategies are also explored on how to successfully navigate the career crisis to
arrive at a renewed sense of career purpose and meaning.
Steven Solodky is a registered career counsellor in private practice in Melbourne, Australia.
After going through a spiritual emergency and existential crisis, Steven quit a corporate
human resources management career of 14 years to retrain as a career counsellor. Steven
draws from transpersonal, non-dual, and existential counselling approaches to support clients
through career crisis, spiritual emergency, and non-dual awakening. He travels widely
throughout South-East Asia, Europe, and North America, combining a love of teaching,
training, and counselling to help clients awaken into authentic life purpose and non-dual
freedom. Steven works with clients face to face in Melbourne and globally on Skype. He can
be contacted at www.nondualcareercounselling.com or
[email protected].
Non-dual Awakening Through Career Crisis 2
NON-DUAL AWAKENING THROUGH CAREER CRISIS: Finding Renewed
Meaning and Purpose in the Midst of an Existential Career Crisis
Hating What You Do: Existential Career Crisis
Monday mornings are the classic ‘in your face’ experience. You better love what you do, or
you’ll be thrust into the depths of terror and despair. No more weekend as saving grace—
reality has arrived at your front door and is screaming out for the welcome mat. There is no
escape, as the ugly reality of a full working week ahead comes crashing down on you. JeanPaul Sartre summed it up perfectly with the term ‘existential nausea’—that sickly feeling of
wanting to vomit your angst, lost meaning, and dread right back up into the universe. It’s
time to ask for a refund, because this isn’t what you signed up for.
Unfortunately, in the world of non-dual awakening, there are no refunds. The only guarantee
is that the tsunami of existence will come crashing down and challenge every false identity
ever held on to (Tzu, 2014). And so it means that the world of work presents a fertile ground
to awaken into non-dual being. It also creates challenging issues for one to wrestle with, such
as finding true meaning, job security, and freedom—only then to discover that this doesn’t
necessarily close a gaping black hole within. And so the ultimate career transformation
opportunity shows up—the ‘existential career crisis.’
I started using the term ‘existential career crisis’ several years ago, in response to working
with clients who had been on the spiritual path for many years. The concept of existential
crisis has been explored widely by existential writers (eg. Yalom, 1980) but career-specific
issues seemed to be the predominant concerns raised by clients. Clients described feeling
totally lost when trying to arrive at what to do for a career. Their current ways of being in the
world were no longer fulfilling. Having seen through the artificial construct of work, the
clients had discovered, first hand, that a prestigious career and high income was not the key
to lasting contentment. Some also reported feeling highly sensitive (Blackstone, 2012) to
corporate environments, finding this type of workplace suffocating and toxic. They felt as
though they did not belong in the harsh corporate world, or were feeling on the outer when
trying to break onto a new path.
I also started using this term to contextualise my own experience, as I too was in the midst of
my own career crisis. I was desperately trying to break free from a full-time, corporate-based,
human resources management career, with the hope of building a private practice. I was
struggling to come out of a dark space of hating corporate life and forcing myself through the
week, desperately holding out for the weekend. This had been my daily experience
throughout my career, and it was an ugly reality to face.
I noticed an interesting paradox within the experiences of both clients and myself. Despite the
most profound peak experience or spiritual awakening, fundamental questions of what to do
in life or how to find true calling were not resolved. As a felt experience, the answer remains
unknown, and is withheld by the universe at the mind level. It can be a deeply tormenting
time, as one feels called to action and genuinely wants to live more authentically in the
world; however, the universe does not provide any clear answers on what to do in life. One is
thrust further into despair, with no clear answers or knowledge of what to do next.
Non-dual Awakening Through Career Crisis 3
Falling into the Dark Night of the Soul
An existential career crisis is synonymous with a dark night of the soul (named by St. John of
the Cross in the 16th century). The only difference is how far one travels into the pits of
despair and darkness, to fully experience the full flood of negative emotions and terrifying
psychosomatic experiences that arise.
What starts as existential angst around career may become a full-blown journey into
darkness. Such a journey can bring up issues around unresolved trauma, repressed emotion,
and survival concerns (Tzu, 2014). It may also expose rigid egoic structures that are
desperately holding on for survival. These factors impact both the career decision-making
process and the unfolding transformation into non-dual being, where the separate sense of
self must be allowed to dissolve.
For this reason, distinct issues arise for the career counsellor and client alike. Practitioners
can quickly find themselves at the limits of their professional training. Most traditional career
theories and vocational assessment resources do not cover the depths of where a dark night of
the soul can take a client. The career counsellor consequently needs to create an open space
to support the client through this difficult time and ensure the client receives appropriate
holistic care. One also needs to be mindful of not imposing any kind of agenda onto the client
in terms of how things should be (Prendergast, 2009).
And yet, the career counsellor must remain truly present and open, to allow the client to free
fall into despair, because only through a full letting go and a total facing of whatever arises
can non-dual healing occur. The career counsellor should not give the client false hope or a
prematurely arrived at new career identity. These coping strategies may short-circuit the
powerful transformation under way, even though despair can be terrifying and horrible to
watch from our mainstream worldview.
Western society does not provide roadmaps for this powerful transformation. Throughout my
corporate career, I rarely found co-workers who would openly talk about their existential
angst. This compounded my feelings of being out of place and different from others who
appeared to have everything together. Additionally, it can be difficult to interpret spiritual
teachings, understand what is going on during a dark night, and know how to handle the
experience. Thrust fully into the fires of hell, the concept of the Hero’s Journey becomes
relevant (Campbell, 2008). The only way out is through multiple fallings back into the pit, an
arduous journey of terror and torment.
It took six years of my own searching to find truly helpful advice. I needed to let go of my
separate sense of self—a felt sense of contraction in my body (Nixon & Sharpe, 2009). I had
to allow myself to be eaten up by the hell fires, unresolved trauma, and shear, ugly darkness
and terror (Tzu, 2014). I needed to face a complete loss of meaning and allow myself to come
up empty handed. There were no answers for the mind on how to solve the situation. I found
it critical to keep letting go at all times and in all places, despite wanting to escape and reject
the unfolding experience through addiction. I had to stop all attempts to make the situation
better or to somehow make myself enlightened.
Embracing the Depths of Despair
Spiritual unfolding is horrible. Non-dual texts may not describe how disturbing awakening is.
It can literally feel like one is dying, as the separate sense of self dissolves into non-dual
being (Prendergast, 2009; Tzu, 2014). It is terrifying, and any attempt to make the situation
Non-dual Awakening Through Career Crisis 4
better seems to completely fail. It may be difficult to maintain a career or daily functioning
throughout this time (Grof, 2002). One may also experience contractions, shaking, or rocking
throughout the body, which could be attributed to kundalini energy unfolding (Edwards,
2009). It can be challenging to find the energy to go into work, and frequent periods of sick
leave may result.
Metzner (2010) described the psychic complex, or shadow material, that arises through the
transformation process: how hardened defences and resistance will heal through a cutting
down and breaking down process. Career transition is therefore fertile ground for awakening,
as any career-related concerns will most likely come to the surface. Like beating demons
back into the pits of hell, the modern day career changer faces a unique battle.
Intense financial pressure, not knowing if a new path will work out, and the process of
change may bring immense fear. There can also be a period that may feel like purgatory,
where nothing appears to be changing. It may be realised that career change is required, but
there is no clarity as to how this change will happen, nor any clear indication of how
successful this new unfolding will be. Nothing seems to be moving. This creates a new
agony, another form of existential angst, with its own painful, lamenting state of existence.
The core issue of survival is a major transition issue to work through (Tzu, 2014). The fear of
daily survival is scary territory to navigate. This is completely understandable, as so much
can be at stake here. Issues such as meeting financial obligations, having a roof to sleep
under, and finding food are needs that combine to present one very ugly reality. Even when a
deep calling to find a new path is present, how to survive while making the transformation
can remain unclear. Finding meaning and a gentler form of existence can become secondary
to the need to survive. There is no halfway house to check into for the existentially lost.
This fear can result in a desperate grasping onto survival, where one is frozen, feels unable to
move in any direction, or pulls away from making change all together (Tzu, 2014). Entering
into the unknown, there is no certainty or guarantee that things will work out. For example,
one may stay in a job he or she hates due to money concerns, may not investigate other
options due to fear of failure, or may short-circuit the transformation process because
integrating shadow material is too difficult. One is blind-sided from investigating and moving
into other possibilities. This experience calls for a radical tolerance of the unknown.
Tolerance of the unknown is critical, as there are no guarantees that a newly chosen direction
will work out. It requires constant letting go of the separate sense of self-contraction, and a
free fall into non-dual being (Nixon & Sharpe, 2009). All free will must be let go. Trusting or
hoping for healing must also be let go of. One will see how easy it is to grasp back onto the
separate sense of self, in order to establish some kind of new direction, thought strategy, or
survival plan. It seems rational to plan this way; however, returning to the mind may create a
form of spiritual bypassing, where shadow material is not fully processed in our being
(Welwood, 2002). It also may mean one is still grasping onto survival.
This stage of the career transformation process matches all definitions of hell. Money, bills,
and toxic workplaces are the ugly-headed demons ready to consume you alive. All of these
issues can have a paralysing impact on fully allowing oneself to dissolve into non-dual being.
The flight-or-fight response will kick in, causing one to go into automatic behaviours and
coping mechanisms. This can bring up issues around addiction, as one longs to escape from
the hell fires and experience some kind of basic release (Tzu, 2014). Coming down from an
alcohol or drug induced high can seem more tolerable than the existential pain of spiritual
awakening.
Non-dual Awakening Through Career Crisis 5
It is critical to find support from a professionally trained therapist who has ventured this same
path, as those in the midst of a spiritual emergency may find themselves mislabelled or
misdiagnosed by the conventional Western medical system (Grof, 2002). At the same time,
and as counter-intuitive as it seems, a general orientation throughout many spiritual traditions
is to see how far one can go into the pits of despair (Tzu, 2014). See where despair will take
you. No fighting to get out. It is also important not to fight the ego, and instead gently release
the felt sense of contraction in the body and mind. Shadow material can then progressively,
naturally arise, without a person grasping or fighting it.
A Non-Dual Approach to Career Management
“The mind learns to bow down to the heart of Silence, relinquishing the illusion of control”
--John Prendergast
Conventional approaches to career management call for making career decisions based on
what will bring security and are aligned with labour-market trends. Emphasis is placed on
knowing where the jobs of the future will be. From this standpoint, the hallmarks of a great
career include following a safe and stable career path, firmly grounded in reality. At this
juncture, the spiritual seeker can hit an ugly brick wall—this approach often ignores or
dismisses subjective inner experiences, such as the need for passion, freedom, transcendence,
bliss, and expression of the soul. It creates a divide between the mind and the heart. The heart
becomes imprisoned by the mind.
Career security is an interesting concept to wrestle. From a mainstream view, it makes sense
to choose a career that has the highest level of security. One quickly realises, however, that
there is no such thing as job security, as even the most established vocations can end at any
moment, through redundancy, corporate collapse, technological advancements, or personal
crisis. The world of work itself is inherently insecure. Creating a plan to safeguard a career is
nothing more than a fruitless survival strategy—one is destined to encounter moments of
uncontrollable career failure and job loss anyway.
In non-dual awakening, it may be helpful to explore the role of the mind and the impact it has
on the career-planning process. The mind is naturally future orientated, wanting security and
guarantee (Tzu, 2014). It will try to come up with a strategy. It imagines a time in the
distance when one will arrive at success and true freedom. The mind will firmly focus on
gaining knowledge and information to support this direction. It only wants to make decisions
based on factual information. Happiness and wellbeing are consequently deferred to a future
point in time.
The mind is also naturally risk averse. Career uncertainty brings up insecurity, so the mind
will opt for deciding on a path that brings the greatest level of safety, despite what the soul
wants. In today’s society, we are encouraged to make rational and careful decisions. One is
compelled to gain even more knowledge to feel well prepared and equipped to handle the
future. It can be helpful to notice this tendency as it arises, as bringing awareness to inner
conflict between the soul and mind can be supportive in choosing an alternative career that
has true meaning.
A non-dual approach to career management leans toward a radically different approach. It
calls for dropping the need for security, as the mind does not have the answer (Osho, 1994;
Tzu, 2014). One is encouraged to enter into increasingly greater levels of uncertainty and
non-knowing. It is helpful to realise the limitations of the mind, that it is simply incapable of
Non-dual Awakening Through Career Crisis 6
knowing the future or having control (Prendergast, 2009). The approach is not to get rid of
the mind, but rather to see through its tendency to constantly fight for survival and strategize
safety. One is encouraged to let go of the need to know, plan, and solve. The mind is
encouraged to fall away and is released of the incredible burden of constantly trying to
predict the future. This is especially important, as the contracted, separate sense of self is
primarily an artificial construct of the mind.
This is an incredibly different approach to solving a career crisis. It provides a person
complete permission to give up the fight to fix the situation. It accepts the uncertainty of how
things are going to work out. In the space of non-dual being, it is totally okay to not come up
with a plan on how to find a new career. One is released from the burden of trying to make
things work out. Failure is completely celebrated. A complete meltdown is seen as a
celebration of existence (Tzu, 2014), as one has realised that true liberation is found in giving
up the need to know.
A Non-Dual Approach to Creating New Career Direction
It’s both terrifying and liberating to allow oneself to fall apart. It’s liberating to be given
permission to not know. Insecurity is seen as the ultimate form of security, as one is no
longer locked down to a restrictive and artificially contrived career path. But a non-dual
approach to career management calls for more—it calls for making brave decisions. I call this
becoming a fierce decider.
It means saying no to opportunities that bring feelings of dread and contraction. It means
taking action in alignment with your passions, interests, and values (Harris, 2008), even when
there is no guarantee. Going into insecurity and the unknown is transformative ground for
real growth. It calls for a total relaxation into the present moment, letting go of the need to
manage the situation, and seeing what happens from this space (Tzu, 2014). It’s about
enjoying the moment and having no expectation as to how things should turn out. One
reconnects with the spontaneity and synchronicity of life. It’s a complete surrender to
existence, without mind-based strategy.
From this perspective, fear is a powerful ally. One quits an old job, turns down a job offer,
moves to a new city, starts a new course, drops out of a course—these actions come from a
complete allowing of soulful self-expression, where there is no judgement (Tzu, 2014). There
is no mind-based pressure to perform. One is completely allowed to fail and make a complete
mess of the career path. This path of action brings you into alignment with the natural ebb
and flow of life. Instead of restricting and contracting, one is open to the universal life force
and space of non-dual being, in which failure and death are non-existent. One sees through
the traditional worldview imposed by society, as one becomes a crusader, constantly
choosing freedom in the moment, instead of making decisions from an artificial, mind-based
sense of security. One comes to embrace a modern-day definition of career: a celebratory
expression of one’s existence, with no goals to obtain (Tzu, 2014).
It may be helpful to know that science is on your side here. Research suggests that connecting
to one’s strengths and values brings increased levels of wellbeing, resilience, innovation, and
performance (Seligman, 2004). Research also suggests that connecting to a transcendental
sense of awareness brings increased levels of wellbeing and healing (Harris, 2008).
Consequently, non-dual awakening brings greater strength and courage to make life-changing
decisions and let go of what no longer serves you, such as a stressful job. It’s the ultimate
permission to not sell out to a path that will detract from a meaningful direction.
Non-dual Awakening Through Career Crisis 7
As one becomes more attuned to what needs expression from within, values, interests, and
passions reveal themselves as mind-based labels. There is something screaming inside you,
calling for immediate expression. It becomes increasingly clear that freedom can only be
found right here in the moment, and delaying or making deals with existence for a future
moment of freedom is bound to fail (Tzu, 2014). Putting things off is another form of
grasping for security, as there is only the present moment. Tomorrow consists of another
present moment, so all compromises that the mind makes to defer or delay happiness can be
seen through.
As liberating as it may seem, this new approach to career management is not without its
challenges. Uncertainty and lack of security can make it easy to return to a safe path or give
up all together. One will go through moments of wondering if a wrong decision was made,
especially as one starts saying no to opportunities that ordinarily would have been pursued.
This uncertainty should be embraced, as all is welcome in the field of non-dual being
(Prendergast, 2009). The change may also feel painfully slow, especially when one lives
without knowing when the next pay cheque will arrive or if a newly chosen path will work
out. This too is okay, as it becomes increasingly easier to know when the mind’s grasping
need for security takes you off path. Confidence to act naturally arises. Risk taking becomes
much easier.
The career transformation process calls for a radical trusting that all is resolved in the ground
of non-dual being (Prendergast & Bradford, 2007). The universe is screaming out for
modern-day crusaders—those willing to be at the forefront of giving up the old way of being
in the world and embracing insecurity to work on what’s truly important and called from
within. It requires a newly defined form of risk taking and not giving up until one truly knows
who they are in essence. Career then becomes a celebratory expression of this essence back
into the world—both as an immediate action and ongoing spontaneous unfolding in the
present moment.
An Urgent Call to Action
In today’s society, competition and getting ahead of others may be the hallmark of a
successful career. How much you earn, your net worth, and the type of car you drive is
sometimes seen as being more important than the difference you are making in the world.
Collaborative, socially driven, and environmentally aware practices are still considered to be
on the fringe and a threat to economic prosperity. Scarcity rules some mindsets, despite the
universe being naturally orientated towards abundance and replenishment when given time.
One of the greatest contributions to transpersonal psychology is that of integral thinking by
Ken Wilber (2008). Wilber describes a new way of thinking, in which the entire spectrum of
consciousness is taken into account. Political, spiritual, environmental, social, and
psychological realms can be used as powerful areas to base inclusive thinking and action. At
the individual level, it’s helpful to know that there is a powerful shift occurring across the
planet right now (Ardagh, 2005). More people are openly speaking about their frustrations
and taking purposeful action.
This is a different type of advocacy, focused on simply doing what one feels passionate
about, without a particular agenda. There is a natural realignment, building back to a
collaborative approach, where industry balances the needs of society and the environment in
its commercial activities. Research suggests that a values-driven approach may improve
organisational outcomes above industry norm, with enhanced levels of psychological safety,
wellbeing, and entrepreneurship in the workplace (Cameron et al, 2003). These organisations
Non-dual Awakening Through Career Crisis 8
tend to be more financially resilient, have higher levels of productivity, and offer greater
accountability to society and the environment.
There appears to be a genuine call for those who can positively transform institutions from
within, rather than relying on external advocacy groups and government regulatory bodies as
the only solution. The courage to come out at work and speak your truth requires a form of
skilful action, where one can play by the current rules of society, but gradually bring others
along for the ride. Alienation, intimidation, and forced change only serve to create barriers. I
don’t have the answers here; however, I frequently come across clients who feel a strong call
to action, but aren’t sure what to do or how to get involved.
The principles of making urgent change in the world align well with non-dual awakening.
Taking action connected to what brings you enjoyment, increased energy, and satisfaction is
one way to bring positive change into the world. Don’t wait for permission to carry out the
actions or directional course that you feel most passionate about. Don’t wait for a sign that
your heartfelt endeavour will be successful. You can’t solve the world’s problems on your
own; however, you can become one more beacon of change, simply by doing what you feel
most called to do and letting go of the need to compete and survive by gaining advantage
over others.
An artist bringing art into the world is the same as the animal activist teaching children about
factory farming. A senior executive standing up to the board to encourage better corporate
governance is the same as a cleaner asking the company to purchase more environmentally
friendly cleaning products. Each and every person makes a difference simply by expressing
him or herself from a heartfelt level. Non-dual being is inclusive of all, as all arises in the
field of existence; however, one also realises that there is a paradoxical need to take action
and help make meaningful environmental change. Interestingly, this change will happen with
the courage to transform your career and discover your non-dual essence along the way. It
also requires giving up trying, so action can naturally arise from the space of non-dual being.
Greater discovery will naturally arise along the way. Go full steam ahead.
Conclusion
An existential career crisis is a powerful personal transformation. The dark night of the soul
experience brings incredible healing, as one develops the confidence and willingness to fully
process the darkness. Letting go of the need to survive, and giving oneself permission to
completely fail, is seen as a paradoxical avenue of complete freedom. Letting go of the
separate sense of self-contraction and giving up the need to know are powerful realisations to
assist one to relax into non-dual being. From this space, it becomes easier to make career
decisions aligned to one’s values, strengths, and interests. Letting go of the need to survive
frees up one’s resources to act accordingly and pursue a meaningful direction. Career
becomes a soulful expression within the present moment. One can be open to the possibilities
of life throughout the day, as spontaneity and synchronicity take precedence over security.
One is consequently well equipped to handle the demands of an unknown future, where there
is an urgent call for action to come out within the workplace as an authentic being.
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______________________
To contact the author: Steven Solodky, Melbourne, Australia. Phone: +61 (0) 401 573 838
Email: [email protected]