Writing for Publication
Writing Clearly and Well:
Top Ways to Improve
Helen Shields, MD
Friday, April 10, 2015
12:00 – 1:00 PM
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Writing Clearly and
Well
Helen Shields, M.D.
Division of Medical Communications
Division of Gastroenterology, Hepatology and Endoscopy
#1: In the following sentence, what is the error?
“The patient must provide written
concent for the procedure to begin.”
A. Weak Verb
B. Misspelled word
C. Awkward Construction
D. Subject-verb disagreement
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne,
Australia, Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
#2: In the following sentence, what is the error?
“However, if the patients selects the
new and innovative plan, the therapist
must have them sign a form.”
A. Subject-verb disagreement
B. Wordiness
C. Awkward construction
D. Weak verb
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne,
Australia, Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
#3: What is the type of error noted here?
“Currently, it is unlawful for physical therapists to
practice interventions for which there is no medical
based evidence. This means that if physical
therapists do things outside their scope of practice,
insurance companies would not reimburse them.”
A. Subject-verb disagreement
B. Misspelling
C. Ambiguity of meaning
D. Awkward construction
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne,
Australia, Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
#4: In the following sentence, what is the error?
“If the physical therapist obtained
written permission, then the law
requires insurance companies to
reimburse the physical therapist.”
A. Subject-verb disagreement
B. Misspelling
C. Awkward construction
D. Verb tense shifts in the sentence
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne,
Australia, Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
#5: What is wrong in the following sentence?
“This would result in the physical
therapist’s getting denied
reimbursement and the suspension of
their license.”
A. Wordiness
B. Incorrect use of plural pronoun
C. Awkward construction
D. Weak verbs
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne,
Australia, Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
Use a Dictionary
• Check all spelling with the spell check as well
as Webster’s Dictionary
• Online sources are acceptable
Consider Roget’s Thesaurus
• The thesaurus provides additional options for
similar words
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne, Australia,
Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
Subject/Verb Disagreement
• If the subject is plural, the verb must be
in agreement
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne, Australia,
Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
Ambiguous Meaning
• Instead of starting a sentence with “This” or
“It”, make it specific, such as: “This
limitation” or “This experiment”
• The reader must be aware of what “this”
refers to
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne, Australia,
Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
Verb Tense Shifts
• Within the same sentence the verbs
must remain within the same tense
• If one is in the past tense, all verbs in
that sentence should be in the past
tense
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne, Australia,
Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
Inconsistent Pronoun Use
• His/her (singular) versus Their (plural)
• The use of the pronoun “their” is
inconsistent with the previous
statement of the physical therapist as
“singular”
Terryberry K. Writing for the Health Professions. 2005, Melbourne, Australia,
Delmar Learning, a Division of Thomson Learning, pp. 115-117.
Which two articles are clear?
Which two articles are wordy and
confusing?
Rule 1: Simplicity
• “Clutter is the disease of American writing.
We are a society strangling in unnecessary
words, circular constructions, pompous frills
and meaningless jargon.”
• “Secret of good writing is to strip every
sentence to its cleanest components.”
Zinsser W. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing
Non-Fiction, 2006 New York, Harper Collins Publisher.
Example of Simplicity
• “Airline pilot says he is “expecting precipitation”
rather than saying “rain”.
• “Every word that serves no function, every long
word that could be short, every adverb that carries
same meaning that’s already in the verb, every
passive construction that leaves the reader unsure
of who is doing what, ... weakens the strength of
the sentence.”
Zinsser W. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing
Non-Fiction, 2006 New York, Harper Collins Publisher.
Example of Clutter
• 1942 US Government Blackout Order: “ Such
preparations shall be made as will completely
obscure all Federal Buildings and non-Federal
buildings occupied by the Federal government during
an air raid for any period of time from visibility by
reason of internal or external illumination.”
• Meaning of this order written by President Franklin
D. Roosevelt:
• “Tell them”, Roosevelt said, “that in buildings where
they have to keep the work going to put something
across the windows.”
Zinsser W. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing
Non-Fiction, 2006 New York, Harper Collins Publisher.
How to Write Clearly?
• “Clear thinking becomes clear writing;
one can’t exist without the other.”
• “Writers must constantly ask: What am I
trying to say?”
Zinsser W. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing
Non-Fiction, 2006 New York, Harper Collins Publisher.
Simplicity: Writing and Rewriting
• “Good writing doesn’t come naturally”
• “Writing is hard work.”
• “With each rewrite I try to make what I have
written tighter, stronger, more precise,
eliminating every element that is not doing
useful work.”
• “Then I go over it once more, reading it aloud
and am always amazed at how much more
clutter can be cut.”
Zinsser W. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing
Non-Fiction, 2006 New York, Harper Collins Publisher.
Example of Less Clear Writing
• John Dean: Watergate Hearings
• “At this point in time” instead of “Now”
• Dentist:
• “Are you experiencing any pain?”
instead of “Does it hurt?”
Zinsser W. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing
Non-Fiction, 2006 New York, Harper Collins Publisher.
Hedging Words:
• Elliott Richardson held four major
Cabinet positions in the 1970s
• His famous quote regarding Affirmative
Action:
“And yet, on balance, affirmative action
has, I think, been a qualified success.”
• Zinsser calls this “A thirteen word
sentence with five hedging words”
Zinsser W. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing
Non-Fiction, 2006 New York, Harper Collins Publisher.
Summary
• Use a dictionary; consider a thesaurus.
• Consult the Chicago Manual of Style regarding
grammar and style.
• Avoid word clutter.
• Keep sentences simple and direct.
• Correct subject/verb disagreement, mismatched
pronouns, and shift in verb tenses.
• If you start a sentence with “This” or “It”, make sure
the reader understands what “This” or “It” refers to.
Zinsser W. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing
Non-Fiction, 2006 New York, Harper Collins Publisher.