of Northern Virginia, Inc.
BETHANY HOUSE GAZETTE
Fall 2009
Eliminating domestic violence one family at a time
ESCAPING VIOLENCE
One woman finds safety
G
oing against culture and family is not an easy thing to do, especially for
Jamila, who comes from a culture where family and society are considered
more important than the individual.
After 14 years of abuse, however, Jamila decided the violence had to stop.
She was willing to do whatever it took to escape—even fly halfway across the world
with her daughters.
“My mom said I can’t live [in America],” said Jamila. “My husband threatened to kill
me and said my picture would be in the newspaper.” Escape in her country was not
an option.
Showing remarkable perseverance, Jamila saved for two years to buy plane tickets
for herself and her three girls to come to the United States.
“I left everything to come here,” Jamila said. “I only came with the clothes on me.”
Not knowing anyone in America, Jamila began to seek out shelter.
“I tried everywhere to find shelter,” Jamila said. But she was unable to find a place
to stay and very quickly ran out of the little money she had left.
Then an acquaintance told her about Bethany House of Northern Virginia (BHNV).
After calling the BHNV helpline number, Jamila was invited to come in for an intake
appointment, a chance to see if BHNV would be able to help her.
During the interview, Jamila needed a translator, but even the language differences
did not diminish the friendliness of the women conducting the intake interview.
“They said they’d call within 24 hours,” Jamila said. “But in one hour they called me
back to say I could move in.” She smiles.
One week later, Jamila moved into the shelter with her children.
“I thought there’d be 20 people in one room,” Jamila said with a gentle laugh. “I
Continued on page 2
INSIDE THIS QUARTER’S GAZETTE
Continued story “Escaping violence: One woman finds safety”
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A word from our executive director: The big donations
2
Meeting women on the frontline
3
Joseph’s Coat Thrift Shop coupon
3
BHNV and NOVACO co-host picnic
4
The BHNV forecast of events
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Bethany House of Northern Virginia is a non-profit, faith-based organization serving
women and children who are homeless and destitute as a result of domestic violence.
Our CFC Code is 89071. Our United Way and CVC Code is 8268.
6121 Lincolnia Rd. Ste. 303 † Alexandria, VA 22312 † Office 703-658-9500 † www.bhnv.org
ESCAPING VIOLENCE:
One woman finds safety
continued from page 1
live in a palace. It’s nice and clean. My daughters tell others
our house is better than theirs.”
The transition from abuse to safety has made an impact on
the lives of Jamila and her children.
“Before I was not safe,” Jamila said. “My mind was always
busy with things and I couldn’t control my kids or myself.
Now I can.”
Jamila remembers the first day she came to the shelter.
“I cried,” Jamila said. “But [a woman in the shelter] came to
me and said don’t worry. We’re family. I’m an ear for you.”
“My kids thank me because no one can kill me now.”
- Jamila, Bethany House client
Since getting settled into the shelter, Jamila feels at home.
“Everyone is like family – family from different cultures and
religions,” Jamila said. “The house manager is like my mom.”
Every night after the children are in bed, the women clean
the house together, then spend time chatting until bedtime.
“We help each other and share.” This is extremely important to Jamila, especially since in her culture living in community – a sense of us, not me – is how life is lived out daily.
Photo Illustration
Jamila’s daughters support her decision to come to the U.S.
“My kids thank me because no one can kill me now,”
Jamila said.
Through the support of BHNV, Jamila is receiving help to
get a long-term visa and make plans for her future.
“I want to be a nurse,” Jamila said. “But first I want to
learn English better.”
She looks forward to starting a full-time
job next week and plans to start school in
the fall.
“Bethany House is God’s house,” Jamila
said. “Bethany House is like angels.”
A WORD FROM OUR EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
We are all familiar with the normal requests for monetary support. However, did
you know that Bethany House accepts other kinds of support, too? We call them the
“big” donations: cars and furniture.
Bethany House accepts (with great thanksgiving!) used cars in working order. The
cars are passed on to our families to help our moms get from the shelter to work, or
from daycare to vocational school. They are invaluable gifts, and we are grateful beyond measure for every vehicle. The only restriction is that the cars must be able to
Cathy Hassinger, Bethany
pass inspection as we cannot afford significant repairs. If you are looking for a new
House Executive Director
car or perhaps have a family member who is no longer able to drive, please consider
donating your used car to Bethany House. You will receive full Blue Book value for tax purposes.
Donations of furniture support our clients in one of two ways. Either our clients receive the furniture free of charge when they move into their own homes, or we sell the furniture at our thrift store,
Joseph’s Coat, and 100 percent of the proceeds support the emergency shelters. Furniture donations
are received at Joseph’s Coat (703-538-6289).
Of course, the “little” donations help, too! If you are able to offer any level of support, we have enclosed a donation envelope for your convenience. Thank you for your ongoing support and prayers for
our families.
Cathy
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MEETING WOMEN ON
the frontline
The woman on the other end of the phone sounded frantic. She was from a county in Southern Virginia and
needed shelter far away from her abuser so he could not
find her. She had two small children and did not know
where to turn for help. She was frightened and needed
guidance about resources available to women who have
fled a desperate situation.
A
s a retired school teacher who wanted a change,
Susan Kral decided to volunteer at Bethany
House to fill any gaps in needed services.
“I didn’t come here to advance myself,” said Susan, a
four-year volunteer at Bethany House. “I wanted to
make the jobs of the people on staff easier. I was willing to do anything at all.”
From acting as a receptionist to organizing the pantry items from A to Z, Susan did whatever was necessary to assist the staff. Then one day she was asked to
help out with a new program – the helpline.
“I don’t really like talking on the phone,” Susan said.
“Somehow here at the office of Bethany House, it takes
on a whole new urgency.”
The helpline is a way for victims of domestic violence,
as well as other professionals dealing with this population, to call in to receive resources (medical, mental
health, housing, legal, immigration issues, etc.).
Noah Shunfenthal
Thursday, June 11, 2009 — Volunteer Susan Kral explains how to
do an activity at the Volunteer Orientation.
You can contact the BHNV helpline
for you or a friend at:
703703-658658-9500 ext. 308
“The helpline is the first contact people have with
Bethany House,” Susan said. “It’s a really important
screening tool for people who are looking for shelter
and a resource for others in the community.”
Susan believes empathy and patience are a must for
anyone who answers the helpline.
“People are calling for help and that’s not easy,”
Susan said. “You don’t want to create any obstacles for
the domestic violence victim.”
Bethany House does not have geographic restrictions
on who can receive shelter, as do many other shelters.
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard: My social
worker told me to call Bethany House first.”
Susan receives great reward from volunteering.
“I’ve gotten more out of serving, then what I’ve given,”
Susan said.
“You never know when you can change someone’s life
by answering the phone,” Susan added. “When someone calls in, fits the criteria, goes through an intake,
enters the program and sees success – it just makes
me feel so good.” Susan laughs with joy. “It’s thrilling!”
FALL TREAT
$5 off
purchase of $10 or more
expires 10/31/09
3022 Annandale Road
Falls Church, VA 22042
703-538-6289
BHNV and NOVACO co-host picnic
CLIENTS ENJOY SUMMERTIME
Noah Shunfenthal
T
he aroma of hamburgers sizzling on the grill. The
sounds of women laughing and festive music blaring.
The sight of a colorful clown painting wide-eyed children’s faces. It was a day for stimulating all the senses.
On Saturday, June 27, 2009, Bethany House of Northern Virginia (BHNV) and the Northern Virginia Coalition
(NOVACO) co-hosted their annual picnic for former and
current clients.
BHNV works closely with NOVACO since it is a Christian agency providing transitional housing to victims of
domestic violence.
Noah Shunfenthal
Saturday, June 27, 2009 — Bethany House executive director Catherine Hassinger prepares a pan of Korean kimchi to giveaway.
The BHNV forecast of events
AUGUST
25-27
We receive donations from local
churches and community groups to
provide new backpacks and school
supplies to our former and current
children clients.
Over 50 women and children attended this year’s picnic, gathering together for a time of fun, food, and reconnecting.
“Often the women and their families haven’t seen each
other since they left BHNV,” said Catherine Hassinger,
BHNV executive director. “Former clients often encourage
current clients to press forward in becoming selfsufficient and abuse-free because they did it.”
SEPTEMBER
8
First Gospel Assemblies of God of Washington donated
Korean cuisine while Sydenstricker United Methodist
Church provided gift bags for the children. BHNV also
received a donation of condiments and cookies from Alexandria Bible Church.
“I do believe wholeheartedly that each picnic has its
own flavor,” said Naomi Collins, BHNV development associate. “We always get positive comments, especially
from our former clients.”
At the conclusion of the picnic, clients were able to
take home any leftovers in zip lock bags and containers.
Volunteer Orientation
This is a time for individuals interested
in volunteering at Bethany House to
learn more about who we are, what we
do, and how you can get involved.
RSVP to Jennifer by September 7 at
[email protected].
Children were able to enjoy unlimited snow cones (as
long as mom said it was okay) and participate in various
picnic games throughout the afternoon.
This year three churches that support BHNV attended
the picnic: First Gospel Assemblies of God of Washington, First Baptist Church of Merrifield, and Sydenstricker
United Methodist Church.
Backpack Distribution
OCTOBER
27
Domestic Violence Prayer Vigil
Join us for a prayer service at the First
Baptist Church of Alexandria from
7-8:30pm in the chapel.
30
Golf Tournament Fundraiser
Consider purchasing a ticket to help
raise funds for this special event. An
online silent auction will take place
one week prior. Contact Brian
Brown at [email protected].
Stories & lay-out design by: J. Wassermann E-mail: [email protected]
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