Communication
This article applies to D4, D5, AD3, PD3
www.aba-procurement.com
Article originally published for Winning Edge
Face Facts
Non-verbal signals can show that people aren’t buying you.
Don’t worry! There is something you can do about it, as Patrick Lucocq explains.
How often do the following situations happen to you?

You struggle to deal with difficult staff?

Gut instinct tells you that things are not going your way, despite lots of nods and smiles from everyone
round the table?

You leave a meeting felling that you have missed something that would have improved the deal?

People misunderstand or just don’t ‘get’ what you are saying and you find that you have to repeat
yourself, telling them the same thing in a different way?

You get lots of invitations to pitch for business, but people don’t seem to be interested once you get in
the room and start talking?
These are just a few of the ways that you can fail to influence, lose a strong bargaining position, or damage
your reputation – and they happen because the people sitting opposite you are not buying into you.
You might be hearing ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but you are not recognising the unspoken elements of communication,
so you are missing opportunities to find that all-important ‘win-win’.
Research in this area has shown that this non-verbal behaviour is a crucial and significant part of
communication and influencing skills in all aspects of our lives.
The research shows conclusively that 60-90% of our communication is non-verbal. Building a greater
understanding of this behaviour will impact on sales, negotiations, recruitment, leadership, and many
other areas of business. People who have had this training often say it’s like learning a new language.
They also say it helps them remain assertive and focused during key meetings. Advanced communicators
talk about the incremental difference that this training makes to sharpen an already fully functional part of
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© ABA Procurement, 2016
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Communication
This article applies to D4, D5, AD3, PD3
www.aba-procurement.com
Article originally published for Winning Edge
their communication skill set. Developing your skills in this key area starts with bringing greater attention
to the automatic facial expressions we all show when the emotional heat of a conversation is raised. Better
skills mean we can make better choices about how we respond.
What to look for
The next time you are in a meeting, check how many times you see the following non-verbal behaviours:

The person speaking to you raises their eyebrows when asking a question, indicating they already
have their own answer.

A person turns down the corners of their lips at the end of a sentence. This indicated a lack of
confidence in the words spoken (yours or theirs). This can look like anything from indifference to
sadness.

When you speak, the person you are talking to raises their chin and even pushes it slightly forward
indicating aggression in a non-verbal display of authority

A person does a small shoulder shrug, usually from just one shoulder, as they speak or prepare to
respond. This is a clear signal that they are unsure about the content of what they are saying.

Someone looks really hard at you to see if they are being believed. This is often a sign of
concealment and deception. They are trying really hard to see if you believe them or not.
If you do see any of these, then notice how you respond to them. The act of noticing will automatically give
you more response options, enabling you to derive a better outcome from the conversation.
Body language and engagement
We often fall into the trap of assuming that a static body/facial posture is the sign that someone is not
buying you. This is not a reliable signal. The clearest signs come from their change in expression in the
context of what’s being said during the meeting. Whilst there is some research to support the view that an
The views in this article are not necessarily those of ABA Procurement.
© ABA Procurement, 2016
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Communication
This article applies to D4, D5, AD3, PD3
www.aba-procurement.com
Article originally published for Winning Edge
‘open’ body posture is more influential that a closed one, it is not a hard and fast rule. Sometimes the
person sitting opposite you may be having stomach cramps or simply be having a bad day; they are
listening, but they’re not making the effort to show you that. Hard and fast ‘old school’ rules, like ‘arms
folded means they are bored’ don’t apply in the real world.
Real time, context-dependent, dynamic changes in expression and behaviour are the most accurate and
effective clues to what’s really going on.
Real engagement, the kind that builds trust, rapport, and long-term working relationships is not something
that is ‘done to’ someone, it emerges from an authentic, positive, shared experience. While the process
can occasionally be uncomfortable, the more often you behave in this way, the easier it becomes for you
to create the levels of engagement and trust you need from staff, colleagues, and clients.
Research shows that 95% of emotional expression happens in the face. Small increases in emotion pass
through the amygdale in the brain, triggering automatic responses in the facial muscles that reveal what
we are really feeling.
Emotions, expressions, and micro expressions
There are seven universal emotional expressions:
1. Happiness
2. Sadness
3. Fear
4. Surprise
5. Anger
6. Contempt
7. Disgust
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© ABA Procurement, 2016
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Communication
This article applies to D4, D5, AD3, PD3
www.aba-procurement.com
Article originally published for Winning Edge
A facial micro expression of emotion lasts about one fifth of a second. To capture these expressions, we
need to learn how to focus our attention on the one second (‘plus one’) just
before someone speaks and the plus one immediately after they have spoken. Most of us can naturally
detect around 40% of micro facial expressions, but with relatively little training we can increase our
detection rate to around 70%. Detecting these automatic expressions allows us more easily to step into the
other person’s shoes.
Context is critical. A micro expression of sadness order can signal a person’s exhaustion, guilt, or that they
are reluctantly already to accept what you’re saying. A micro expression of contempt can signal that you
are not being believed, and that what you are saying simply isn’t credible. The sooner you recognise these
cues, the sooner and better you can respond.
To do this well we need to be assertive. This means having the courage to step in to or step back from a
situation where we recognise (more quickly than those sitting around us) what it is that people are feeling
rather than just what they are saying.
Are we starting in the right place?
Business is not all about the numbers. When you walk into a meeting room you might be tempted to start
by looking at the numbers on a spreadsheet, but the other people in the room may have another agenda.
If you take a few moments to look around the room and gauge the emotional heat and dynamics, who is
sitting next to whom, who’s talking and who’s listening, you’ll give yourself a head start when it comes to
doing business and making sales. It’s easy to get lost in the detail when dealing with people in groups,
especially when you make assumptions about why you are all there and what everyone is trying to do.
Don’t assume that you are starting in the right place.
What are they telling you? Do they want you to keep going, slow down, change tack, ask a question,
apologise, engage with them, or show them you know you have their attention? Do they think your prices
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© ABA Procurement, 2016
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Communication
This article applies to D4, D5, AD3, PD3
www.aba-procurement.com
Article originally published for Winning Edge
are too low, your delivery too slow or too quick, the chemistry isn’t there, or do they just need a toilet
break?
This builds empathy, trust, and rapport fast. It can also help you develop the resilience you need to detect
deception and manipulation when people try it on with you. You could call it a higher level of emotional
intelligence.
Self-awareness and high emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is now considered a critical part of peak performance and leadership skills. Micro
facial expressions are a reliable indicator of the level of discomfort someone is feeling, even if they don’t
want you to know it. This is highlighted in the TV show Lie to Me, in which the protagonist accurately
assesses whether someone is lying simply by looking more closely at their facial expressions in response to
questions.
Better detection skills of micro facial expressions can raise our level of emotional intelligence simply by
making us pay more attention to what we see and how we interpret it.
When the emotion heat in the room rises a little we are better placed to pick up on what others are
feeling. Our faces display a range of emotions that research has shown are pretty much universal. In other
words, anger shown by people in Shanghai or Shoreditch will use the same facial muscles. While there are
social and cultural difference s in the triggers of these responses, the expression is the same, and that is
massively helpful if you work in a global business.
The views in this article are not necessarily those of ABA Procurement.
© ABA Procurement, 2016
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Communication
This article applies to D4, D5, AD3, PD3
www.aba-procurement.com
Article originally published for Winning Edge
Getting it right – reducing your assumptions
Let’s say I give you a script and tell you this is the perfect presentation to win a potential client. Do you
assume you will get their business before you step into the room? Do you feel increase pressure because I
have told you that it’s perfect?
What if you’re late for this meeting, you’ve had an argument with your partner, or you don’t like what you
have heard about the potential client beforehand? Your face can give all this away the instant you walk
into the room to present. In fact, if you are displaying anger on your face, you are instinctively and
automatically turning into any potential anger of other people in the room.
What about when you are speaking and you notice expressions and gestures from your potential clients?
If you focus on speaking, with all your attention solely on the content, you won’t be able to connect. If you
look for those changes in facial expression and associated non-verbal cues just before and after you speak
you will significantly increase your chances of gaining rapport and trust while you’re talking. You will
appear more credible and trustworthy, and that may just be enough to give you the edge.
Staying inquisitive
One way to further reduce wrong assumptions when the pressure is on is to remind inquisitive, staying in
context and being a little more optimistic than usual. Staying inquisitive means challenging your
assumptions about what you see and what you believe to be true. For example, if you see a micro
expression of surprise on a face, it may mean what you are saying is unexpected and merits you stopping
and asking a question. Asking ‘what do you think?’ can help test your assumptions in a simple, safe, way.
At the end of the meeting, look for a ‘Colombo moment’, that opportunity, as Colombo did on the 70s TV
show, right as people are about to leave, for you to say ‘just one more thing...’ (or, if you want to avoid the
The views in this article are not necessarily those of ABA Procurement.
© ABA Procurement, 2016
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Communication
This article applies to D4, D5, AD3, PD3
www.aba-procurement.com
Article originally published for Winning Edge
cliché, try ‘what about...’, ‘how will we...’, ‘are we all agreed that...’). Checking people’s expressions in
these moments can be highly revealing.
Communication is the key to sales
Finally, imagine a business where everyone is open and honest with each other. Global businesses such as
Ford are investing huge sums of money to build their brand around open and honest communication in
their dealerships. They understand that the dealers who sell their cars make bigger profits from servicing a
customer over time, rather than a one-off care sale. ‘It’s about helping the supply chain to help the
manufacturer. Openness, expertise, and consistent treatment are very attractive to consumers, especially
when it comes to big-ticket items. Understanding non-verbal communication is a vital part of the process.
Influencing others takes more effort than intelligence. It’s not rocket science. But when it comes to
communication, instinct alone is not enough. It takes training, practice, and persistence. The good news is
that the rewards are substantial.
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© ABA Procurement, 2016
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