ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
PAUL: WRITTEN ANALYTICAL ARGUMENT (ESSAY)
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
PAUL: WRITTEN ANALYTICAL ARGUMENT (ESSAY)
Essay
Australia would be better off as a Republic
I believe Australia would be better off as a Republic. If we were to become a
Republic we would need an Australian leader like a Aboriginal because they were
the first/original culture to roam the whole of Australia.
Yes I believe that Australian’s should stand on our own two feet. We should not
be ruled by the Queen who lives in Britain.
“… we have progressed and Grown.”
(The case of voting Yes)
The Queen has got to much on her hands looking after Britain and Australia + her
family. The Queen should only look after Britain.
“Its time to have our own head of state”
(IBid)
because we have grown up and our own people should have the right to vote for
a Australian leader.
Lots of Australian families think that they will loss
“It would not change the number of public holidays”
but nothing will change only the way people look at us as a Republic Nation.
Australia will also continue to compete in the commonwealth Games. That is why
most the time when Australia’s vote they vote for it to stay like it is now.
Yes I think Australia would be better of as a Republic. The Queen would not take
us first if we were introuble and Britain would come first not us.
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
PAUL: WRITTEN ANALYTICAL ARGUMENT (ESSAY)
Language
Genre:
Key features and examples
level of scaffolding
Language for
achieving
schematic structure
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
Scale
• independently written using notes provided on how to
write an essay
8
• title, statement of position, arguments and conclusion
different
purposes
organises the text:
• rhetorical questions: What are the best
strategies?
• conjunctions: First, Next, Finally, In addition
• noun group in place of conjunctions: Another
reason, One of the main arguments, The principle
cause of the increase
• phrases and dependent clauses of cause: As a
result of the rain, Struggling to survive, Despite
his poor health
• phrases and dependent clauses of time, place,
manner: Born in 1898, When we had finished,
With great care
• non-finite clauses: Selecting a topic
• topic words: Antarctica, Pollution
• action verbs (in procedures): Slice, Boil
• existential subject to introduce new information:
There
• interpersonal elements: Personally, Obviously, In
fact, It is apparent
• layout: subheadings, diagrams, pictures
builds cohesion:
• reference items: my, it, they, him, the, this, these,
all of the above, such examples
• vocabulary patterns
- synonyms / antonyms
- words that go together: lodge complaint
- word sets: gene, inherit, hereditary, dominant,
recessive
- classification: teeth - canines, molars,
premolars, incisors
- composition (whole-part): tooth - enamel,
dentine, pulp, nerve
• conjunctions to join sentences: Next, So,
Therefore, Hence, Conversely
joins clauses to expand information:
• linking conjunctions: and, or, so, and then
• binding conjunctions: because, if, since, when, so
/ so that, whenever, though
• relative clauses: The Suez Canal, which was
completed in 1869, …
• non-finite clauses: The team, having seen the
results, felt…, Having seen the results, the
team…, To improve the final product…
• projections: Scientists claim that exercise
prolongs life.
• topic words: Australia, The Queen, Lots of Australian
families
• interpersonal: I believe, Yes I believe, Yes I think
• layout: new line to mark quotation
• reference items: I, we, a, an, they, the, our, her, its
(it’s), our own, that, us
• vocabulary patterns
- synonyms/antonyms: Aboriginal/first/original
culture, leader/the Queen/head of state/Australian
leader
- words that go together: head of state, better off,
looking after, grown up
- word sets: Republic, head of state, leader, vote,
change, ruled, the Queen, Republic(an) Nation
- classification: Nation - Britain, Australia
• linking: and, also, but
• binding: if, when, because, like, only (except)
• relative clauses: the Queen who lives in Britain (the
Queen, who lives in Britain)
• non-finite clauses: to roam the whole of Australia,
looking after Britain and Australia + her family, the
right to vote for a (an) Australian leader, to compete
in the commonwealth Games
• projections: I believe that Australian’s should stand,
Lots of Australian families think that they will loss
(lose)
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
PAUL: WRITTEN ANALYTICAL ARGUMENT (ESSAY)
Language
Field:
Language for
expressing
ideas and
Key features and examples
noun groups:
• numbers, describers, classifiers, qualifiers:
television, a book, the pencil, all day, the children
in the water, the children living in the city, The
medical discovery that has had the most impact
experiences
comparatives:
• funnier, slower, more beautiful, best
nominalisations:
• likelihood, growth, development, beauty, risk,
government, capability, potential
verbs:
• action: subtract, peered, scanned, demolish
• mental (sensing): knew, believe, understood,
enjoyed, hated
• saying: said, laughed, shouted, stated, asserted
• relational: are, became, has, consists of,
represents, means
• verbal groups: wanted to improve, tried estimating
• phrasal verbs: fell in with the wrong crowd, look it
up, put up with, put off, put out
causal relations:
• verbs: led to, brought on
• nouns: the result of the floods, the cause of the
injury
• phrases: because of the heat, in spite of the rain
• dependent clauses: because the weather was
bad, owing to the cyclone threat, if the cyclone
hits, in order to end the suffering
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
• an Australian leader like a (an) Aboriginal, the
first/original culture to roam the whole of Australia,
our own two feet, the Queen who lives in Britain,
own head of state, the right to vote for a (an)
Australian leader, Lots of Australian families, the
number of public holidays, the way people look at
us
• leader, the case
• action: roam, lives, progressed, grown, stand,
ruled, loss (lose), change, take, come
• mental (sensing): believe, need, think
• relational: become, were, has got, have, stay, is
• verbal groups: continue to compete
• phrasal verbs: look after, be better off, have grown
up, to vote for, look at
• dependent clauses: If we were to become a
Republic, because they were the first/original
culture…, because we have grown up, when
Australia’s vote, if we were introuble (in trouble),
That is why
• when: most (of) the time, when Australia’s vote,
now, first
• where: in Britain, in the commonwealth Games
• how: as a Republic, as a Republic Nation, on our
own two feet
metaphors:
• get it off your chest
• stand on our own two feet, too much on her hands
quoting and referencing:
• direct speech: The police officer said, “There were
no injuries.”
• reported speech: The manager of the team said
that they were…
• referencing: Scientists believe that…, According
to the weather bureau…, Studies have shown…
8
• better
circumstances and clauses:
• when: in 1614, when he arrived
• where: at the sign, standing on stage
• how: carefully, with great care, like a leopard
• with whom / what: with his friend, with their
belongings
technical vocabulary:
• digest, high sugar levels, niacin
Scale
• Australia, Republic, original culture, head of state,
the right to vote
• referencing: uses direct quotes and attempts to use
referencing conventions to indicate some document
including using IBid (Ibid), last quote not sourced at
all
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
PAUL: WRITTEN ANALYTICAL ARGUMENT (ESSAY)
Language
Tenor:
Language for
Key features and examples
speech functions:
• statements, questions, offers, commands
interacting
with others
subjectivity / objectivity:
• subjective: In my opinion
• objective: The response of the prime minister
modality:
• certainty: possibly, it suggests, tend to, might be
able to, I am sure, will
• obligation: necessarily, must, demand, they
forced
• frequency: tendency, typical, always
• inclination: like, willing, preference
interpersonal meaning:
• feelings, attitudes: It’s beautiful, very, rude, just,
only, luckily, unfortunately, importance,
outstanding
• idioms, colloquialisms, euphemisms, humour
• culturally specific references: dressed in black
• names to refer to people
appropriateness of tenor
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
• series of statements expressed through mostly
accurate simple, compound and complex sentences
Scale
8
• subjective: I believe, Lots of Australian families think
• objective: Australia will also continue to compete
• certainty: believe, think, would, will, would not
• obligation: need, should
• frequency: most (of) the time
• feelings, attitudes: yes, better off, first/original culture,
our own two feet, too much, only, nothing, change, loss
(lose), trouble
• idioms, colloquialisms: stand on our own two feet, to
(too) much on her hands
• cultural references: Commonwealth Games
• names: The Queen
• tenor is subjective and inclusive of the reader as a
fellow Australian appropriate for an argument of this
kind, although the use of Yes, is more appropriate for a
speech
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
PAUL: WRITTEN ANALYTICAL ARGUMENT (ESSAY)
Language
Mode:
Language for
creating
Key features and examples
tenses:
• primary: past, present, future
• secondary: other tenses eg was sleeping, wanted
to go, haven’t played, was going to have to play
spoken and
written texts
passive voice:
• active: The heavy rainfall led to some minor
flooding.
• passive: Minor flooding was caused by the heavy
rain.
foregrounding:
• referencing: According to the statistics, As shown
in the data
• abstract elements: The destruction of the habitat
• conjunctions including those in second place:
Success, on the other hand, …
• phrases and dependent clauses of cause
• phrases and dependent clauses of time, place,
manner including consecutive phrases of time,
place: In Canberra in 1975
• non-finite clauses
• non-human elements: The lathe, Koalas
• human elements: specific We, general People
• action verbs: Draw
• existential subject to introduce new information
• interpersonal elements
appropriateness of foregrounding
coherence:
• introduction, topic sentences and conclusion, and
the links between them
print conventions:
• handwriting: letter formation, spacing, direction
• spelling: link to pronunciation and visual patterns,
spelling common and uncommon words, using
prefixes and suffixes
• punctuation: capitals, fullstops, question marks,
commas, speech marks, apostrophes,
semicolons, dashes, links to intonation
• abbreviations: cm, 2nd, eg
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
• primary
- past: were
- present: believe, lives, has (got), have, think,
look at, is, vote, were
- future: will loss (lose), will change
• secondary
- accurate: would be, were to become, would
need, should stand, have progressed, should
look after, have grown up, should have, would
not change, will continue to compete, would not
take, would come
Scale
8/9
• passive: should not be ruled by
• uses passive accurately and effectively to
foreground Australians
• cause: If we were to become a Republic, That is
why
• non-human: Australia, It
• human: We, The Queen, Lots of Australian families
• existential: Its (It is)
• interpersonal: I believe, Yes I believe, Yes I think
• foregrounding of mainly human participants and on
two occasions Yes is less appropriate for a written
argument than it is for a spoken text
• statement of position clearly signals the writer’s
point of view but introduction does not predict the
content of the paragraphs that follow, simple topic
sentences signal the content of the paragraph
though quotes are not well linked, simple
conclusion restates position but then introduces a
new point
• handwriting: legible
• spelling: most words accurate though some
confusion with homonyms to / too and word form
loss / lose
• punctuation: basic punctuation accurate most of the
time, apostrophes of possession but not of
contraction, quotations with some accuracy
multimedia / multimodal:
• links between gestures, visual images, sound,
light, layout, tables, spoken text and print text
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