Jostling Dreams
.
Creative Writing by the author
Jostling Dreams
Collection of Short Stories
1. The Balloon Factory - Pubudu Printers 2000
2. A Dog’s Life - Pubudu Printers 2002
(state Literary awards for Best English short story collection 2004)
3. A Gambler’s Game - S. Godage Publications 2004
4. The Cross Conections - S. Godage Publication 2005
5. Haunting Melodies - S. Godage Publications 2007
Poetry
6. Petals in the wind S.Godage,2009
7. Sunshine and Shadows S. Godage 2011
8. Twinkling Beads S. Godage 2011 (nominated for best collection
of poetry, state literary award 2012)
9. Golden Cocoon S . Godage 2012
Children’s Books.
1. Kalu Amma
2. Chandi and Dingi
3. Komali
4. Danga Malla
5. Butti
6. Punchi Suranganavi
7. Ammai Babai
8. Kirichootige Kathandare
Kamani Jayasekera
S. Godage & Brothers (Pvt) Ltd.
To
First edition 2013
Jostling Dreams
© Kamani Jayasekera
ISBN 978-955-30Cover Design by
Upul Jayantha Ranepura
Page Setting by
S. Godage & Brothers (Pvt) Ltd.
Published by
S. Godage & Brothers (Pvt) Ltd.
No. 661,665, 675, P. de S. Kularatne Mawatha,
Colombo 10, Sri Lanka.
Printed by
Chathura Printers
No. 69, Kumaradasa Place,
Wellampitiya, Sri Lanka.
15387//250
Amma and Thaththa
Who is always there with me
Comforting me in my dreams,
Athula my inspiration
+
Nanga, my source of pleasure.
6
Kamani Jayasekera
7
Jostling Dreams
About jostling Dreams
Prof. Kamani Jayasekera sees life as multi-faceted
reality and this is portrayed avidly in her most recent
collection of poems, ‘Jostling Dreams.’ She has a simple
approach in the way she looks and treats life. Her tersely
worded poetry is easy to read and at first glance seems easy
to understand. But, the poems have profound meanings
lying deep. This is part of the attraction of reading Kamani
Jayasekera’s poems.
In her poem titled ‘A Love Poem,’ she writes,
You ask me why I do not
Write about nature and love,
The birds and the bees
Why I do not appreciate
Beauty light heartedly
Instead of thinking beyond
This shows that she writes exactly what she practices
and she wants the reader too, to think beyond with her poetry
the way she does herself.
Kamani’s poems reveal their characteristic external
forms of long stanzas of very short lines that hardly rhyme.
Nevertheless, they carry the pulse of the poems very definitely.
At times, the poems are of short stanzas but they are never
quatrains. They are more or less free verse in style, with a
loosened, speeded or slowed pattern. In Jostling Dreams,
Kamani shows her style adamantly like in her other poetry
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Kamani Jayasekera
collections. Kamani has found a convenient mould for her
thoughts in these forms and and her succinct words may
have helped to compose swiftly and focus on selection of
metaphors. As such, these reflect her emotional tensions as
well as her improvisatory and brooding quality of mind.
The ideas for her poems are drawn from many diverse
sources of which nature is prominent. Other sources are of
domestic activities, industry and warfare and economy and
law. While her images create natural or social scenes they
do more in creating psychological landscapes, generalized
scenes or allegorical scenes. Her poems when encountered,
provides a challenge for the reader thus making the reading
interesting.
Beside the great succinct form she uses which we
have already stressed upon, the other striking feature is the
mingling of trivial and the precious in her metaphors and
scenes. Examples of such can be seen in the poems titled,
Confident Security, Party Time and Marginal Discourse.
She is able to increase our scrutiny of small scale things
and focus on the texture of large ones. Her physical world
is full of questions of value too. Her skepticism helps to
forward the urgencies of her doubts and need to find faith.
Her metaphors too are sometimes long drawn to show the
full structure of a picture or an idea.
The poet tries to bring the value of humanity as she
writes in her poem, Silent Witness. It says with all the learning
of the University of Peradeniya, plus all the seminars and
erudite discussions in beautiful surroundings of landscaped
gardens, the scholars were dumbstruck and did nothing when
a tree-cutter fell off a tree to grievous bodily harm. This
reminds me of an old and well known story that, in Europe
during winter when it was bitterly cold and snowing, a lady
Jostling Dreams
9
was at a meeting in a warm inside, trying to help alleviate
the plight of the poor while all the time her coachman was
shivering outside awaiting her return. The story shows how
insensitive one becomes just getting caught up in the usual
daily activities and like in the above poem there is no action
for the immediate occurrence.
Also in the poem, Going Price of Integrity, Kamani
clearly and forthrightly writes about what is going on
presently between the workers and the authorities. In the
same quest of the value of humanity in the poem, Loosing
Anchor, it shows how selfish people are with their busy lives
that they forget real caring. We do come across this so often
in our lives even though people call out a fond phrase ‘take
care,’ when parting company.
I am happy to note that Kamani has delved into the
question of child abuse which really is rampant at present.
In her poem titled, Courtesy, she skillfully defines what
exactly is happening nowadays and the pathetic situation of
parents and the protection of little ones. Kamani also relates
to the world we live in remarkably. In her poem, In Transit,
she deals with what we see around us all the time. We see
the luxury vehicles whizzing by and grand land owners who
have little time except for anything else but their work and
acquiring more wealth. This poem takes once incident of a
wealthy person lying in his death bed with no awareness of
anything leave alone all the wealth he has acquired. A short
poem this is, but the irony of this situation is very effective.
The poet has many examples of symbolism and
allegory in her poems. The poem titled, Innocent Victim
depicts this well. Even, the poem, Sad Thoughts, evokes
a myriad of feelings. The two poems, Nature Photography
and Bonsai put across the messages in them very well.
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Kamani Jayasekera
Kamani is a writer who writes out of compulsion and
in writing her poems, she does not mince her words but
writes direct and to the point. The beautiful composition
can be seen when a poem is read more than once. Her poems
have the ability of touching our consciousness and make us
question our own ability or inability in what we come across
in our environment. Western Classical culture being her
discipline, she has used it well with her Sri Lankan culture to
bring awareness in her compositions full of natural thought
and inspiration.
Shireen Senadhira
22.02.2013
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Jostling Dreams
I have always allowed my poems to speak for themselves.
But then, I was reminded by Plato that a composition
when published may be thrown among those who do and
do not understand them. In my opinion there could exist
no question of misinterpretation of a poem. Though I am
saddened when some only read the upper crust,
refusing to read beyond, It would be unethical for a poet
to pose as a dictator. It is the freedom of the reader
to tune in with the diverse layers of meaning.
My words are direct. Rhythm has been commanded by
content.
Craft and technique is manipulated to the minimum,
According to requirement, with no artificially imposed
fineries.
I have strong faith in art in nature and nature in art.
May you enjoy and find food for thought in these children
of my innermost being and existence.
My heartiest gratitude goes to all those who have given a
feed back and thereby provided me with encouragement.
Kamani Jayasekera
Professor,
Dept: of Western Classical Culture,
[email protected]
University of Kelaniya, Sri Lanka.
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Kamani Jayasekera
CONTENTS
1. Recognition
2. Aims and Objectives
3. Lady Academic
4. Courtesy
5. Priorities
6. Indulgence
7. In Transit
8. Sweet Dreams
9. Tasting Paradise
10. Reciprocation of love
11. Antigone on local stage
12. The Classics
13. Signature
14. Appreciation
15. Ostracized
16. Seminar
17. Nightmare
18. Sad thoughts
19. Coming of Age
20. Dancing Tear Drops.
(Celebrating 17 years of married life)
21. Lost Links
22. Nature Photography
23. Cost Cutting
24. Communication
25. Marginal discourse
26. Sacred Strategy
27. Bonsai
28. Divine Company
29. Amma
30. Comparative Value
31. True colors
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
28
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
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Jostling Dreams
32. Concerns
33. New Year Celebrations
34. Repeated History.
Excuse me….
35. Sorry States
36. ‘Star Crossed
37. Upeksha
38. Preference
39. Clarity of Vision
40. A love poem
41. Studentship
42. Very much alive
43. His and hers (relative)
44. High in Spirits
43. Party Time
46. Lonely nights
47. A Silent witness
48. Going Price of Integrity
49. Confident Security
50. Icing on the Cake
51. The Wealthy
52. Impotent objections
53. Innocent Victim
54. Selling Price
55. Not an Apology
56. Blood Brothers
57. Village People
58. Protection
59. Alone at the top
60. Mahagedara
61. Loosing Anchor
62. Still waters
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42
43
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
1. Recognition
Knowing on first sight
That we had met before
Some fine day in samsara
But unable to decide
If you were
Friend or foe.
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Kamani Jayasekera
2. Aims and Objectives
Identification of objective,
Goal setting,
Recognition of potential,
Self-assured of aim
Steadily progressing
You rush through life
From smaller targets
To the larger.
Subconsciously refusing
To realize that
In not so distant future
One may come to cherish
Any kind of distraction
While
Taking one day at a time.
Jostling Dreams
3. Lady Academic
Having completed her
Obligations and duties to
Her husband, children,
Parents, career and society,
From dawn to dusk
She awaits an opportunity
Almost guiltily
To seek the solace and
Warmth of her books
Like meeting a lover in stealth.
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Kamani Jayasekera
4. Courtesy
Little Suranga
Was sent to the boutique
To borrow a measure of rice
For the mid-day meal.
He returned to the hut
Smiling and holding out
A fifty rupee note.
‘The mudalali pulled down my pants
And gave me this note
And a handful of sweets’. He said.
‘Did he touch you?’
The mother asked alarmed.
‘No’ he replied.
‘But I remembered to thank him.’
On which she sighed
And took the note.
Jostling Dreams
5. Priorities
Piyaseeli who collects the garbage
Said at the gate
That she has had dengue
And had been in hospital.
We had no time
To listen or talk,
We were going out
And running late for a dinner.
But I awaited her,
A few days later
With a vitamin tonic
And some money
But she did not return
Ever.
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Kamani Jayasekera
6. Indulgence
He cajoles me
To tread the waves,
Brave the scorching sun,
Letting me pose
With donkeys roaming
The dusty roads.
Stopping the car for me,
To capture
The orange sunset
Dipping in the waters
Rippling on the lagoon.
Indulging my every fancy
Buying piping hot rotti
Straight from the simmering pan
Pink faluda with floating ice
Among the crushed pineapple.
Preparing to venture
On to his next trip
With the boys.
Jostling Dreams
7. In Transit
Having bought land
All over the area
And a collection of
Luxury vehicles,
He lies on a single bed
With only a thin sheet
To cover his mortal body.
Not even able to
Watch the drip
Sustaining his breath,
He awaits his life
To drain away,
Compelling him to occupy
The six feet of ground,
The temporary abode
In his transit.
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Kamani Jayasekera
Jostling Dreams
8. Sweet Dreams
9. Tasting Paradise
You run and whimper
Sigh and wag your tail in sleep
Making me wonder
If you too meet your mama
In your dreams or
Is it just Tommy next door?
Come for a sniff and
A stealthy bow wow?
Claws waving to the rhythm
Of rustling sunbathed
Coconut palms
In the salty breeze
The crabs dance in the hands
Of their captors
Standing, displaying them
On the coastal road side
Entertaining tourists
Till they are boiled
Spiced, tempered
With ginger, garlic and cinnamon
To give them a taste of paradise.
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Kamani Jayasekera
10. Reciprocation of love
On visiting my friend
I missed the joyous greeting
Of leaping, dancing and barking.
The answer to my inquiry was
That he was caged
At the end of the garden
As he was too old now
And stinking.
Jostling Dreams
11. Antigone on local stage
He was warned
Of being accused
Of western influence
Or in the extreme
Being a cat’s paw
Of an N.G.O.
But the minds of
The undergraduates
Were open enough
To ‘grasp it for
What it was’,
And interpret it
The way they want !!
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Kamani Jayasekera
12. The Classics
Having produced ‘Antigone’
Twenty five centuries after
It was originally produced
The dramatist is blamed
For attacking political leadership
Influenced by foreign assistance
(No doubt).
Posing questions
That not he, but
Sophocles asked.
Branded traitor for
Siding with the enemy
But unconsciously accepting
That they themselves were
Affected enough to respond.
Jostling Dreams
13. Signature
Petitions for and
Petitions against.
First your name,
Your designation
And your signaturePenned down in order;
Sacrificing your integrity
And the sense of responsibility
Irrespective of your beliefs
For survival in the community
That shares the same
Privileges, dissatisfaction
Restlessness and distrust.
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Kamani Jayasekera
14. Appreciation
When the single bulb
Crammed in to a glass
Outside the lone window
In the bedsitter,
Sprouts forth in the spring
You are rejoiced and proud.
But back at home
Surrounded by lush greenery
All year round
You forget to notice
Or appreciate.
Jostling Dreams
15. Ostracized
Nanga is bewildered
And hurt
For being scolded
And ignored
As punishment
For killing ‘Sisi’,
The pussy
As she had only joined
‘Browney’ in sport
And solidarity.
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Kamani Jayasekera
16. Seminar
Having spent funded money,
On posters, letters,
Bags, files and memos,
Booked a venue, popular
And fashionable with AC,
Along with a gala lunch
Tea and refreshments
The presenters read out
Their research papers
To rows of empty seats
Except for ten or twelve
Of their closest friends,
Lengthening their CV
In a line or two.
Jostling Dreams
17. Nightmare
‘Mama I love you a lot’ I said,
But I have to do this alone.
I hugged her tight
And marched in to the
Deep black sea with
Surging waves raising high,
Abandoning the luxury of living.
Confident that the
Inability to swim would
Enhance my deliberation.
Until the smooth faced guards,
Smiling men in arms,
Caught and dragged me back
Making the silky voiced doctor
Before administering
The tranquilizer advise me
To read ,read and read,
The plight of others,
Who had tread the same path.
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Kamani Jayasekera
18. Sad thoughts
A tender plant well cared for
As a sapling
Uprooted and replanted
Confined to a clay pot-It’s prison.
Left to wither and to fade
With no air or sunshine.
And water,Just enough to live.
Jostling Dreams
19. Coming of Age
To cease to be excited
By a single touch,
A single person
And to be able to
Joke about it
And not grieve silently,
Longing for it,
And hoping that one day
Your innermost wishes
Would be fulfilled.
*******
But exactly what is that age??
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Kamani Jayasekera
20. Dancing Tear Drops.
(Celebrating 17 years of married life)
All advice you
Persuade and convince,
That help is always at hand
And there are the life jackets
And the navy boys as well.
‘take to the sea ‘they say.
The bridge of sand banks
That Hanuma of the legend
Used to cross over
From India to Lanka
Is a sight to see.
And it is a link of love.
The waves quite mild
From afar seems rough
When you actually ride them.
Making you rise, dip
And jump off your seat
Clinging fast to whatever available.
And the sailor assures you
That the jackets will keep you afloat
Just in case of an emergency,
Since none can predict the sea!
But hours later, miraculously,
And maybe a little too late,
Your body gets used to the rhythm
Jostling Dreams
As well as the sudden jerks.
Then the hold relaxes,
Mind and body begin
To observe and appreciate
The gulls above and
The jumping fish.
The spray that splashes you
Out of tranquility makes you
Enjoy the excitement
Of the unexpected
As you expose yourself
To the elements.
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Kamani Jayasekera
21. Lost Links
Two rusty rail tracks
Almost hidden in the
Dusty white sands
Half way broken –
Lost just where
They had joined
And formed a single line
Confined within a
A barbed wire fence
Ravaged by the climate
And man
That it had once served.
Jostling Dreams
22. Nature Photography
Birds rising in flocks
Squeaking and screeching,
Encircling the blue skies,
Alarmed at a possible threat
At the approach of intruders,
These ‘nature lovers’,
Who had come to take
Photographs of them,
Their habitat and
Their carefully guarded eggs.
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Kamani Jayasekera
23. Cost Cutting
After the defeat came peace,
Instigating an influx of
‘Well-meaning’ outsiders
Intending a fusion with locals
And to strengthen the
Dismantled bonds
During years of conflict
Which taught them
How difficult and costly
A simple smile could be.
Jostling Dreams
24. Communication
The ancient kovil had functioned
Before necessity imposed
A police station on its premises
Where after the poojas
Were held by the officers
Hoping that the earth bound gods
Of another people would understand
The language of the invader.
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Kamani Jayasekera
25. Marginal discourse
Standing in the heat
And the gusts of wind
Blowing particles of sand,
Head bowed down, eyes pensive,
They stand near Walls of Thal leaves,
Or roam the streets
Bewildered and alarmed
If approached,
Ready to bolt,
Yet not antagonistic.
Nor very friendly.
Trying their best to be
Unobtrusive and invisible.
Space slow, almost painful,
Seeming deaf and dumb
To what goes on
Except for an occasional sound
Of moaning,
–these donkeys
In the border line territories.
Jostling Dreams
26. Sacred Strategy
When Aphrodite was hurt in battle
And was crying
Homer used the epithet
‘Laughter loving’to describe her,
The goddess of love and lust.
Herodotus recording battle
Provided details of how
The Olympians took part
In support of human favorites.
When Jaffna fell
To the separatists
Rumor circulated
That statues of the Buddha
Emulated sacred rings of light
And citizens in the south
Queued up in piety
With renewed hope
Kindling in their hearts.
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Kamani Jayasekera
27. Bonsai
Confined to a shallow container
Branches trimmed,
Not allowed to spread
No space for roots to expand.
Man experiments at being god
In the name of art.
Providing a philosophic
Interpretation justifying his
Lucrative enterprise
With the intention of
Perpetuating possession
Of trees that should be
Free in the wilderness
To adorn a rich man’s parlor.
Jostling Dreams
28. Divine Company
These luminous yet transparent spots
On photographs taken at Katharagama
Where devotees danced Kawadi in ecstasy
To the frantic beat of drums and
The strains of pipe music
The awe inspiring night lit by flickering flames.
Sight, smell, sound, the whole ritual a catharsis
Where body, soul and spirit united
Making one hope unconsciously
For the unmistakable marks to be
Entities that exist
Beyond human perception,
Outside the mortal realm
And plead with the mind
Not to be too skeptic.
But to rejoice in glory
And comfortable assurance
Of faith unquestioned.
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Kamani Jayasekera
29. Amma
You are there, assisting
Encouraging and supportive
In all things I do
In my dreams
Just as I believed
Your persistence
Was interfering, irritating
And suffocating
Before your departure.
Jostling Dreams
30. Comparative Value
They call you ‘Amme’
In the government hospital
Instead of madam or lady
As in a private ward.
They show no respect or politeness
But urgency and efficiency
Firm to the point of rudeness.
But you feel safe and a
Sense of well being
For you are cared for
Because you are a human being
And not because of your title,
Your money or your connections...
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Kamani Jayasekera
31. True colors
So different form the
Sweet voiced delicate birds
Of rainbow colors,
The clamoring crows
In the morning,
To greet and gossip,
Watching with beady
Not greedy eyes,
To be fed by hand
As a token of empathy. To savor the moment,
More than the food.
Coming so close
As to show that
The roots of their feathers
Were white
Underneath the black.
Jostling Dreams
32. Concerns
Komali miserable ,
Moaning near the door
For canine company
However close is not
Welcome in the room.
Kitty meditates on the
Impermanence of it all,
Off food, perched on the wall
In self exile.
Crows calling, missing
Their morning gossip, peeping
To have a look at mama
Who had under gone surgery
And is now resting for recovery.
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Kamani Jayasekera
33. New Year Celebrations
Ranmali from whom tradition required
To be coy and subdued
Gets on to a swing
Hung on a tall tree,
Sings and laughs loud,
Knees bending, head tossing,
Long hair let loose flowing,
As she moves up and down
In a rhythm just as Maenads
Of an yester year in Greece
Celebrated the approach
Of the new year at the end
Of the previous year.
From death be life and life be death,
Rebirth of man and fertility of all.
Just as Maheshi, Thamali and Nuwangi
Discarding all inhibitions
Abandoning themselves
To the spirit of the moment
Grind, swing, toss and bend
Among rotating flash lights
And the loud erratic music
At the thirty first night dance
When the first of January dawns.
Jostling Dreams
34. Repeated History.
Excuse me….
These scholars, they call
Herodotus the father of lies
For recording hearsay,
Selecting the sensational,
And narrating to inspire
Human interest.
Entertain, not report.
Not stopping to check
Reality behind fiction
Distorting, omitting and
Exaggerating; taking sides,
Unfair to the foe,
Adding color and spice
To the skeletons of truth,
Or fabrications of imagination.
Destroying personalities,
Or glorifying friends
And indulging in
Personal prejudices………
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Kamani Jayasekera
35. Sorry States
Her eyes flash
Voice like steel
Breathing fire.
Believing blindly,
Deceived by smiles,
And silky voices.
Agitated by advice
Or contradiction.
Making me think ‘Could thinking men
Think so wrongly.’
And wish that
She was forty
Or me twenty
To be convinced
At least half way
Of the righteousness
Of the emotion.
Jostling Dreams
36. ‘Star Crossed
I recognized you at once
The moment I saw you first
And felt I had known you
From a previous life,
Perhaps through samsara.
But little did I know
There was only an acquaintance
Or a casual friendship
And not a deep relationship
Intimate and intense,
With chemistry irresistible,
Compulsive magnetism
And sparking electricity
Until it was too late
For me, as well as for you.
Post script Hence the need to start afresh
And never let the pain repeat
For life is too short and
The Samsara too long,
The making of heaven or hell
Would be ours alone.
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Kamani Jayasekera
37. Upeksha
We rush up the Kadugannawa hill
Late for a prior appointment,
Scenery flash past unnoticed.
Past the avocado stalls
And the tea boutiques
With corn boiling in pots
On open fires in front.
Where in the years that
Time did not rush so
Vehicles used to stop
For a rest before the climb,
Water the radiator,
Refresh with hot hoppers
And sweet black coffee,
Plug cotton wool in ears
And adorn scarfs and jerseys
Breathing the crispy cool air.
While the surrounding mountains
Covered in blue grey cloaks of mist,
The inquisitive sun peeping
With rays of golden light
Look on with upeksha, undisturbed.
Jostling Dreams
38. Preference
What is better?
Me getting an award
And others whispering
That I did not deserve it
But another did?
Wondering how and why I got it?
OR
Another getting it
And me get calls ?
Critics telling me
It was I who deserved it
And speculating how
The other got it?
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Kamani Jayasekera
39. Clarity of Vision
Once you lose all hope,
The pain the stress, the tension
And anxiety of anticipation
Abandon you.
Leaving you free with
No burdens to carry and
Nothing to wish for.
To live in the present
Light as a feather
Floating in the wind.
As the danger of prayer is
That they may be answered
And the results might not be
Exactly what you expected.
Then you are led to learn
The bitter sweet lesson that
First you had to know
What you should wish for.
Jostling Dreams
40. A love poem
You ask me why I do not
Write about nature and love,
The birds and the bees.
Why I do not appreciate
Beauty light heartedly,
Instead of thinking beyond –
Letting my mind wonder.
I am not devoid of senses
Or my feelings chilled out.
Of course I hear the
Dancing prattle of rain drops,
The sweet scent of jasmine
And the soft silky touch
Of a rose petal……
Yet it was you who taught me
The lessons of life.
And it is you,
If anyone ever could,
Feel the ripple of my blood,
Hear the songs of my heart,
Commanding all thoughts stop.
And make me live the moment.
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Kamani Jayasekera
41. Studentship
I am no cynic,
Nor a skeptic.
An intellectual snob,
Self-assessed and
Self-acclaimed,
Putting sarcasm and
Irony in to words.
Judging all and expecting
To be judged by none.
But only a student of life
Trying to learn the
Bitter sweet lessons of life.
………………………………….
I hope.
Jostling Dreams
42. Very much alive
Having been introduced
You almost always ask
The same inevitable questions.
Which makes me speechless
And wonder how I could
Find words to tell you
That it is a phantom
That my husband refers to
As a daughter studying abroad.
A figment of his wishful thinking
And that I am but a proud mother
Of a still born infant child.
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43. His and hers (relative)
The priest in his sermon
Preached the story of Alavaka,
The king of devils that
Tested the patience
Of The Lord Buddha Bidding him to come
And then retreat
Over and over again.
While her relations believed
That he was advising him,
His thought that
He was advising her!
Jostling Dreams
44. High in Spirits
When he is sober
He is so attentive,
Considerate and nice.
A downright gentleman
Which is ninety percent
Of the time.
Outside home, envy
To the beholders eyes,
Making one inquire
Who they were
And what they were.
Yet when intoxicated,
Uses colorful words.
Wishing her dead
And he, elsewhere.
Threatening to walk out.
Making her wonder
Was this what they call
‘The truth of wine?’
‘Merely the Spirit talking?’
Or reality behind
Cultivated culture?
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43. Party Time
It was a grand celebration
They had organized
With the sea as the back drop.
Started in the evening and
Went on till past midnight.
All guests photographed
To be later given as mementoes.
Started in the evening and
Going on till past midnight.
The cadjan huts and carts
Serving gram, and hoppers
The barbeque stand
Near the bar floating with drinks.
Live music and wild dancing
Till the games started
Which at the end
Guests were called upon to
Bring forth to the stage
Various personal items
Of the partner or neighbor.
First a hanky, then a sock,
Moving on to a shirt and a vest.
Making possessive husbands
With wives present
Jostling Dreams
Suddenly sober up fast
And remember
It was getting late
And they had to leave.
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46. Lonely nights
It is lonely in the chilly dark room
Listening to the rain drops on the roof
Thinking what difference a voice could make
A touch of comfort may be?
Or is this better than being alone
In a crowd of your own ?
Jostling Dreams
47. A Silent witness
It was beautiful when the halls of learning
Were almost hidden by the flowering trees
Of red, yellow and pink falling on couples
Or groups in deep discussion seated
On the petal carpeted lawns.
A soothing balm to tired eyes straying
From an over worked computer
And energizing those exhausted
Emerging from the library.
Gently tendered to bring out
Art in nature and nature in art.
Their serenity not disturbed by
Street dramas, protest marches
Or stone throwing clashes.
Yet when Ajith ,a garden hand
Fell from the branch he climbed to cut
And lay like a broken doll beneath
All went in to shock and
Even the wind stood still.
In stunned witness to the tragedy.
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48. Going Price of Integrity
When workers went on strike
Authorities announced that
They would withhold the salaries
Unless they report back to work
And submitted letters promising
Never again to support the strike.
The wonder is that some did so,
Thereby gaining not only
What was due, but promotions
And scholarships abroad as well.
Jostling Dreams
49. Confident Security
Participation, involvement and integration
In earnest discussion with colleagues
With an open and receptive mind.
An attentive sympathetic listener ,
Ready with feed backs when necessary.
Ability to melt into the background,
If not wanted , merge with the crowd,
Unmoved and unhurt if ignored.
Watch trains with an aged grand ma,
Discuss tele dramas with the domestics,
Pleasantries with sales girls,
A hearty conversation with a pet.
Confident with the ability cultivated
To retreat in to yourself instantly
By the simple action of
Closing your eyes and
Shutting off your ears
To stop all thoughts
Until
The earth beneath you shake.
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50. Icing on the Cake
After a fun filled day of a film
And shopping with the girls
Akka phoned her hubby –
“Darling you need not pick me up”
“I got a lift” she said.
“Oh” he replied.
“I am so disappointed.”
“I really am.”
And before he hung up
He politely asked,
“Could I please know
Who this is?”
Jostling Dreams
51. The Wealthy
The old lady
With her sole possessions
In a silisili bag
Smiles as she rambles
Down the road
Her mangy stray in toe
Making one wonder
What she has or
Has not to be so
Happy with her lot.
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52. Impotent objections
Since the land was unoccupied
And the owners rarely came,
The neighbors decided to
Cultivate a section of the land.
It was when the plants were
Almost ready to bear fruit,
The owner heard and decided
To fence the plot against intrusion.
Feeling guilty and insulted
One went on the defensive,
While the others were indignant
Resulting in a heated argument.
While the plants looked on
In mute silence unable to respond
For they desperately needed watering
And some loving tender care
In their last stage of pregnancy.
Jostling Dreams
53. Innocent Victim
The news break brought
Live pictures of the shoot out
Between the inmates of the prison
And the security forces.
The whole area was warded off
And deserted of pedestrians,
Except for this lone calf,
Lost in the confusion,
Running for its dear life,
Frightened by the noise,
But in the commotion,
Not knowing where to run.
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54. Selling Price
Risana ,the girl child,
The underage house maid
Sent to battle in the country
Of the red hot sands
With poverty stricken but an
Able mother of thirty two
And a father living
For survival, if not to dig gold
‘To educate the younger”,
Sacrificing the elder.
Punished ,beheaded for
Accidentally killing the infant
Entrusted to her care,
Making international news,
Blaming all, the two governments,
The agents, the embassy
And her ‘heartless’ employees
But letting the grief and
The depravity of her own parents
Flow over their part in the crime
Which really was the initial instigation.
Jostling Dreams
55. Not an Apology
I did not know
That she was under age
Her size, build and age
Deceived me.
If I knew, would I entrust
My infant child to her care?
The offspring of love,
Nine long months of anticipation,
Irrespective of the pain,
The anxiety and the agony
Changes in mind and body,
The gradual ripening of the nipples,
The companionship and communication.
Looking after a child
Involves patience, responsibility
Maturity and respect for another’s life
With no opportunity for neglect or
Misplaced concentration.
It needed love care attention
And complete devotion.
Choked to death?
With milk oozing from
Nostrils, not forgetting
The dark bruises on the
Delicate neck.
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A crumbled rose bud
Never to open eyes again
Gurgle and lisp ‘mama’
Bouncing on my knees.
Could I ever forgive?
Law based on holy religion,
A thing I believed in
All my life, on my side.
And the vengeance of
A mother wronged.
Yet they persist, pressing
With logic and ethics
Of alien religions
Challenging my rights.
Offering blood money
Piling insult on injury.
Could one place a price
On that tiny head of curls?
Then the publicity,
Adverse to the extreme
In the name of mercy.
Yet never a consideration ever
For the grief I am submerged in
Causing indignation to
Drive me insane
Turning me out to be an
Unforgiving monster in the
Eyes of the whole world.
Jostling Dreams
56. Blood Brothers
The adjoining table at the restaurant
Was occupied by a group of young men
Around a couple bottles and
A pan of sizzling mixed grill.
As the party progressed
The noise suddenly gave way
To a one way conversation.
“Sweetheart, I might be a little late”
“A flat tire, in an isolated spot”.
“No don’t keep dinner,
I’ll snatch a snack”“No need to send help,
Nihal is here to help”.
And
Nihal taking over said,
“No Nangi, no need to worry,
I’ll take care of all”.
After all what else are
Blood brothers for?
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57. Village People
“I am so glad that they
Moved to this state,
Someone to call your own,
Speak your own tongue,
In this country of strangers.”
‘Yes .Its wonderful , is it not?”
“But I happened to have this dream
Yesterday; that your sister
Amidst this fierce snow storm,
Gave me ten rupees and
Asked me to fly home, Back to my own people.”
Jostling Dreams
58. Protection
The young couple
Necking in the car park
Amidst the heat and the dust
The sweat and the grime
Of the mid-day sun
Seemed offended by the
Unintentional intrusion
Of taking the car out.
Smiling as if absentmindedly
I noticed the gold panchaudha,
The pendent as a talisman,
No doubt hung by a parent
On leaving her village
With the intention of
Protecting her against all
Possible evil.
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59. Alone at the top
When the leader of the party
Visited the funeral with his madam,
There was quite a stir.
Condolences conveyed,
Polite conversation over,
Inquiries were made
Regarding refreshments.
Upon which
She asked for coffee,
She saw served in plastic cups,
Mass made, instant,
Straight from a machine.
For this,
She had to wait quite a while.
And finally when it did materialize
It was on a silver tray in best china,
Piping hot freshly ground ,
And freshly made.
Jostling Dreams
60. Mahagedara
The rambling ancestral house
With ageing wood and walls,
Reverberating with laughter,
Arguments and discussions,
Is no more. Instead
A plush shopping mall
Stands proudly in its place.
But walking along the
New tiled floors and amidst
The glamour and glitter,
A sensitive soul may find
That the refined air conditioning
Had failed to filter the
Familiar vibes completely
Of a bygone day.
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61. Loosing Anchor
When uncle lived
He went to St Jude’s
The saint of the desperate
Each Thursday without fail.
Lighting candles,
Touching the statues,
Kneeling with piety
In deep prayer,
Returning comforted
In confidence.
On his demise,
Entrapped in the
Struggles of life,
Embroils of family,
Loss of leadership,
No one bothered,
Found time or inclination
To visit the church
But loudly complained
That no saint seemed to care.
Jostling Dreams
62. Still waters
I have dreamt dreams
Both of the day and night
From as far as my childhood
One replacing the other with time
And escaped to those
Fabrications of my desires
But all this has terminated
Mind having ceased to fabricate
Diverse destinations.
Resigned to be here
Instead of there and
This instead of that,
Appreciating today
Before it is
Replaced by tomorrow
For
Tranquility is to stop
Day dreaming and speculating
Of tomorrows to come.
Reminiscing and regretting
Of yesterday’s past,
Yourself unmoved and
Not striving to move others.
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